Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

what is your reasoning if you are for or against it?

me? as a BFing mom, i said to myself, i will never ever do CIO, that one day, yes, i will get sleep, that who cares if i wake up 2 times a nite to hold and cuddle with my child? i did the reading as to how "bad" it was, causing emotional scars etc etc....

then after 6 months, i said, cmon, i need sleep. i read ALL the sleep books, and talked to my sister (the CIO advocate to assure me, no her children are not scarred from CIO)...and did it- only 2 nites of crying, first nite, not bad, second nite, better, third nite, nothing, a full 10 hours of sleep- and since then, ive had a child who sleeps 12 hours a nite....

so im just wondering- bc i used to be on the other side of the fence too....

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I haven't had to be in the situation yet, but I *say* I'm not doing CIO, that I just can't listen to her cry and will try other ways to soothe her...again, only because that's how I feel, not that I feel CIO is wrong for others.

Whether I stick to this stance when the time comes is another story.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I am for it. I am for it because I don't want DS to think I can "jump" for him at every moment, esp. during the night.
Of course when he was younger, I did not do CIO. He needed to be fed.

Now that he's older (with exception of the last 2 nights) we put him in, he cries for 2-5 mins. and is out cold for about 11 hours.
We do "Family Hug" and that's a "cue" bed time is very, very near.

At 2 in the morning, we tried CIO, but, he's in pain. Dr. even said it was teething, so, of course CIO is hard.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Even the CIO experts (Dr. Ferber) admit it doesn't work for every child. When we tried it with Sarah she hyperventilated and made herself vomit. So we talked further with our ped, decided it wasn't going to work for her and before she was a year old she was sleeping through the night.

We didn't even try with Andy. And he's still not sleeping through the night most nights at 18 months. But he will. My parents and my ILs didn't use CIO and we all sleep fine now.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

i think its what you believe..
i believe a child needs unbroken sleep at night.. its the way they grow, stay healthy and i believe it makes for a good disposition. Promoting good sleep habits is important to me and i've never had a problem with CIO.. all of my kids go to sleep at 830 and wake at 8. they sleep through every night.. and hence so do i. i work full time and i cannot under any circumstances do my job on no sleep there is no margin of error to giving meds to a premature baby. Again, this is solely MY belief.. not to start drama

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

i CIO for bed time and when she wakes up i let her cry for like 10mins if she wakes up she usually goes back down away.

But the passed few nights she is teething so i been picking her up and rocking her to sleep and put her down.


But i'm all for CIO and i know her differnt crys now she has a fake cry too.

So i know if she is pain or just a fake cry just to get my attection

Message edited 1/17/2008 10:54:55 AM.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I am against it as I think it is too rigid...my dd used to get HYSTERICAL when we tried to CIO and that just did not work for us

Now, she is more able to CIO for a few minutes but I still do rock her for a few minutes and if she does get hysterical, I will go in and rock her again


eta: even though I never did CIO (until recently), my dd has been sleeping through the night since 3 months old

Message edited 1/17/2008 10:57:31 AM.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I can't do it cause i don't agree with the whole premise AND i can't bear to hear my kids cry at the top of their lungs screaming hysterically for more than a couple mins.

I don't go to my kids every whimper, but i can tell when it's a real cry and they need me and when it's just fussing and whining. DH and i agreed solid crying for no longer than 5 mins EVER.

Mind you both my girls are great sleepers and started sleeping through the night for more than 8 hours on their own with some well established habits around 8 weeks old but we've had quite a few bumps.

TO each is own and every family need to do what they need to do and what they feel is right for their family and kids.

Message edited 1/17/2008 11:03:41 AM.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I did it b/c it was the only way I knew I could get DD to sleep thru the night... when she saw me she would get even more worked up so I just let her cry and within 3 nights she had dropped that one feeding and has been a great sleeper ever since...

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

We used it with our first. Starting at 5 months. And like you, it took 2 or 3 night and we had a perfect bedtime and 12 hours of sleep after that. My second was just the perfect sleeper, you put her in the crib, close the door and she was down for the night, 12 hours at the least. No CIO even needed.

I do think it depends on the personality of the child. I knew it would work for Andrew, and knew it would never have worked for Lauren if it came to that.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I did it too late & therefore was a CIO failure. I wasn't worried about the emotionally scars, I couldn't stand to hear him cry. It broke my heart.

By the time we were insisting on doing it, he was 8 months old & would throw up from crying. Then when we really got tough on it, he was 15 months old & talking...calling for us.

That's why I was a failure the first time. I think there is a reason why my second child went right into her crib or would crawl to it when tired & say "night, night". That reason is I learned from my mistakes the first time around.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I am neither "for" nor "against" it.

I do what works for me.

I think each child is different, each parent is different, and the important thing is to do what works for you.

I am not a fan of rigid theories.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

The first couple times we tried CIO DD would get herself hysterical she would get more and more worked up. So I decided she wasn't ready yet. Then just a week ago she started going to sleep so easy and would wake up and start crying after a half hour. I would run in there to comfort her and everytime I'd go to leave she'd start to cry again. After a week of that DH convinced me not to go in until after 10 mins and wouldn't you know it she fell back asleep before the ten mins was up. She still has been waking up after about a half hour of sleep every night but the crying has been for less than 5 mins now. So a little CIO has worked for us.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I'm totally for it. It worked well for us, but I can understand not being able to hear your baby cry. Every family is different....what works for one doesn't work for another, but I can definitely say it worked for us.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I am for it if it works well for others and its its done properly. It totally depends on the individual child.

For us, I was against it. Megan gets TOO upset. I followed it, to a degree. But with Megans personality, we cannot follow it the way its "supposed" to be done. She screams until she makes herself sick. I dont care how tired I am, I am not letting my baby scream and cry until she throws up..it just defeats the purpose to me. Do I sometimes wish I had stuck to it somehow so bedtime was a little easier? Sure! But I wouldnt risk my daughters health. For us, it would have defeated its purpose.

I would never tell any parent not to do it. I would never say I was totally against it with ALL children. Just here, with MY child, it didnt and wouldnt work..and thats fine with me.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I feel it is a personal decision and if it works for you great but it was not for me.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I think it all depends on the child. For Ava, if I cuddled her and rubbed her back, she'd never go to sleep. Infact, she doesn't like being cuddled and she doesn't like her back being rubbed, so CIO was the ONLY thing that worked. But that being said, she cried for a total of three nights, then maybe a handful of times in the last year. CIO doesn't mean your child is crying every, single night. I don't think people always understand that.
I'm all for whatever works. And I'm all for not judging anyone else for doing what they need to do.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I'm gonna sound like a dork... what is CIO? I didn't see it in the 'lingo" list lol

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I don't do it because it is not compatible with the values I am trying to instill in my child -- it just doesn't fit with the way I am raising my son.

I don't, however, jump at his every whimper. And I have night-weaned him, which has involved crying -- but it has been crying while being comforted by mommy or daddy, not crying alone in a room.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I'm not against CIO, I just dont have the heart to do it yet!! I should try, because even though DS can go 12hrs w/o a bottle, he still wakes up twice during the night, crying, and I get up to give him the paci both times and all is good...except I wish I didn't have to get up at all!

I think I'm going to try CIO alittle. Right now he only cries for like 2 minutes before I give him the paci,...I'm thinking I should let it go longer and see what happens.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Personally I hate the CIO method. BUUUUT that being said, after I have tried everything else - I let DD cio and it was the only thing (and still) that works for her.

Now that she is talking it is a little easier because I realize when something is really wrong vs. her just playing me because she doesn't want to sleep.
(There is never anything really wrong!!)

I have been down the rocking, back rubbing, song singing, sitting in the room path - and unfortunately she only took advantage of all of that. CIO and being STERN at bed time is the only way she responds.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I wouldn't necessarily say that I woke up one day and said "I am going to let Jack CIO today" --

I was exhausted from rocking him during a nap - and going in there was doing neither of us any good. I had my eye on the clock the entire time. I gave him 20 mins to cry and at 19mins - i got up to go in there and he stopped. Just like that - after all the kicking and screaming.

That showed me - that no matter how upset I thought he was - in reality - he just was mad bc he wanted my attention - and was frustrated - and tired.

The next nap he only cried for 10 minutes.

Then - no crying at all.

He still def. cries for naps - and sometimes he will cry at night when he goes down for the night (the other night he cried for 50 mins) -- but then he passes out.

I do him no good when I go in there - so I keep the monitor with me - I watch him at all times with the volume down (bc the cry breaks my heart) and every three mins or so I turn up the volume to hear what kind of cry he's giving me.

Times like yesterday - he cried during a nap for 15 minutes - I went in because I realized he just wasn't tired anymore. So - I took him out.

I think you need to use your own judgement on your own child - and what works for one - may not work for another.