Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I don't really have a name for what I do. I wouldn't call it full fledged "CIO" because I don't really think that works for my family. We let DS cry for no longer than 5 minutes (I watch the clock! ) and I watch the monitor. If he is just winpering and laying down, I leave him. If he is standing up and screaming I *would* get get him. The reason I put it this way is that I have not yet had to deal with that. It still breaks my heart even to go the 5 minutes but we, as parents, all do what is best for the family.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I am for it 100%. However with that being said, I don't believe it's for every child. It works for some, but not all.

For me, I started CIO at 10 weeks (way to early then most would advise on these boards). Within 2 nights I had babies who were going from waking every 2 hours, to a solid 5 - 6 hour stretch. Then we did it again when we started putting them down at 7. Another two nights or so before they were giving us 12 hour nights.

It's very hard to do, but in the end I have two kids now who don't even cry when they wake up in the morning and just talk or play in their cribs till you get them. I don't want to say that is totally a result from CIO, but I believe they know that crying will not have me or DH come running to them.

There are still some nights we wait it out when they wake up. Both DH and I are comfortable waiting a certain amount of time and then going in if the need arises.

Message edited 1/17/2008 1:08:42 PM.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I believe in a modified CIO. I dont want to jump every time DS whimpers b/c I think that will establish a bad habit, at the same time I dont let him cry for more than 10-15 min. tops and that is only if he is extremely overtired and whiny and is just fighting a nap (and he is 9 1/2 months). I started a modified CIO around 5/6 mo. or so when he would fight a nap I would let him cry for 2 min. or so, never more than 5 min.

To be honest, I think letting your child CIO for 30, 40, 50 min. as some people do when they are an infant is just mean!

ETA: DS very rarely whines or cries now when I put him down for a nap or to bed (even now that he is teething) and wakes up in the morning and will lay in his crib quietly. I didnt need to let him CIO to establish this routine. I think babies need to be soothed and made to feel safe and they will develop good sleeping habits. DS has been sleeping through the night since he was about 3 months old and before that he would only wake up once a night for a bottle.

Message edited 1/17/2008 1:14:05 PM.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I never really had to do CIO with DS. He has always just went straight to sleep once he was put down in his crib at night. i feed him really well before bed so his belly is full and he is happy. I have always had a routine with him which helped as well (Bath, bottle/cereal, story, then bed). However, if i have to let him CIO i would at this age (he is almost 7 mths). I think children should learn to self soothe themselves to sleep. They dont need to be cuddled at all times which IMO will cause them to have bad sleeping habits.

Message edited 1/17/2008 1:23:52 PM.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

You do what works for you. I did a modified CIO. If DD was hysterical, we went in to soothe her. We never pick her up, just rub her back and head enough to calm her down and then do the whole "good night" thing again and leave the room.

The other times she's whimpering when we put her to bed is because she wants to be up with us. We let her whimper and she realizes she's tired and goes to sleep within a few minutes.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I am not a CIO advocate as I personally do not have the heart for it thats just the way I am .

Before DD was born I was convinced that I would do everything by the book and that she had to be on a schedule etc and it was for her well being in the end. Well all that changed once my little bundle arrived.

I feel like they are small for such a short period of time and that if she needs me I should be there for her. I know she needs to learn to sleep on her own but I just hope it will happen in her own good time.

I tried a very modified version of CIO one night - I put her in the crib and stayed in the room. She was so upset I took her out after 20 mins.

I just cannot imagine closing the door and letting my little one cry herself to sleep - even if it only took her a week to get used to it. I have this thing in my head that she would stop crying after a week as she knew no one would come and that makes me sad

Of course we are nearly 2 years in and DD is not sleeping through the night and we co sleep mostly so we are bearing the consequences but this is the path we chose.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

It depends - if I did everything - fed him, changed him, and he is just not going to sleep, then I am all for CIO. But if something seems off with him, I tend to him a bit more - it usualyl means he is sick or his teeth are hurting....

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I am all for it CIO..i think children need to learn how to soothe themselves and not having mommy constantly making them feel better. My girls CIO for a couple of nights and that was it. NOw they are awesome sleepers for the most part. Last night they were sleeping by 8pm and woke up at 8:30 this morning. Not only are they loving and feeling great in the morning---I get to enjoy the nights with my husband and have ME time.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I really do believe that CIO works for some children and not others. I tried every other sleep method with my DD and read every book and nothing worked consistently. She was tired and not sleeping well at all when she was 5 months old. She would not nap. It was just awful. We were very consistent with nap times, bed time routines and other ways to get her sleep. It was not working.
So we did CIO. I read the Ferber book and implemented the steps. It was horrible for the first two nights and then suddenly I had a child who was sleeping through the night and low and behold, taking consistent daily naps. She was happier and I was estatic.
This is my story as a former, I could never let my child CIO Mom.


Oh, suddenly, we are not sleeping through the night again and guess who has been getting up to rock her DD to sleep since she feels bad that she is teething. Hmmm... me. Guess who needs to start CIO again for the second time... hmmm.. me again!

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I think it depends on the child's temperment. I'm not against CIO, but I don't do it.

As long as you are in tune with your child's needs and read their cues, IMO, you will have no problems (well...less problems )

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

ds never ever fell asleep on his own, we either rocked him or put him in a bouncer and then I would carry him to his crib... right now he is outgrowing his bouncer and is too heavy for me to rock him to sleep every night and for every nap so I was desperate... first couple of nights were hard but what I noticed is that if I went to comfort him he actually smiled at me... so I felt like I was being manipulated by him... and what do you know, after 3 nights last night he fell asleep within 5 minutes! he does know how to fall asleep on his own

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Message edited 1/17/2008 2:57:13 PM.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Message edited 1/17/2008 2:55:47 PM.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

oops

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

We did modified CIO-

I NEVER let Matty cry, awake or at night for more than two minutes-he literally napped in my arms until he was five months old. I got a nanny when I went back to work and we worked together to have him nap in his crib.

By 7 months DH and I were desperate for sleep. So, we let him cry but I always went in the room initially and reassured him we were there- gave the binky and a kiss and walked out-- went back in every five to ten minutes but didn't pick him up.

He sleeps through the night every other night- generally the other nights require one or two quick binky runs.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I nursed Josh to sleep for the first year...then I attempted to CIO to see if that would help him get to sleep.

night one...40 minutes, never went to sleep

night two...that's when he jumped out of the crib

night three...that's when he dislodged one of the crib bars.

That is it, I tried, its not for us.

I think its a case by case situation for each baby.

The little boy I watch CIO for his 2 naps a day. Its what he does, what his mom wants...I put him in there and know that in 5 minutes he will be asleep. He's never fallen asleep any other way...never in the stroller.

With Josh it was different. A different kind of yell. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I know Josh. He is so huggy and kissy all day. He loves sitting on our laps and everytime we walk into a room he has a reunion with us. The kid needs a lot of affection.

The crying part did not bother me, I knew he wasn't really crying...I swear I have never seen a tear come from this kid's eyes ever. What was bothering me was the fact that he was good all day and I know he felt like he was being punished...I did not want him to end his day that way.

As far as him waking in the middle of the night, it was easier for me to nurse him then to go through a long scene.

But, knock on wood, ever since I moved him to his bed, we are on night 5 of him sleeping through, or me standing at his doorway asking him to go back to bed and he does.

Maybe my next kid will be different, but with Josh, I know, he takes it personally, like a punishment. Gavin, the other boy, doesn't take it like that at all.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I swore that I was never going to let DS CIO. He slept well enough. Only a couple of wakings each night. Then he hit 5 mths and something changed. He was up every 1.5 hrs. This lasted a month. I was so exhausted I could barely function the next day. After a lot of research DH and I decided to try CIO. It worked in 2 nights. DS cried for 20 mins. the first night and 2 the 2nd. I thank Dr. Ferber for helping me retain my sanity. I did not have success with CIO and naps. I just put DS in the stroller and walk him. He sleeps there great and it doesn't seem to cause a problem with his nighttime routine.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Message edited 1/17/2008 5:14:37 PM.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I'm completely for it and knew I would be even before DS was born. I love my kids, but I am not about to sit with them for hours to get them to sleep when they are old enough to go to bed on their own. Once they get to a certain age, they need to learn to self soothe. DS only had to CIO a few times and learned. Then again, he is a great sleeper and LOVEs his sleep, so that may have had something to do with it.

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

Re: Out of curiosity, why are some moms for CIO and others not?

I stopped when she started making herself throw up, it was becoming too much work at night and not fair to her or us.. Now she puts herself to bed..