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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
NBC Nightly News did a piece on the father today...
NBC News Story
Message edited 6/21/2014 12:19:35 AM.
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Posted 6/21/14 12:16 AM  |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by Ayne11
NBC Nightly News did a piece on the father today...
NBC News Story
I would never want to be those parents. Are they responsible for the accident, absolutely. Are they bad parents....absolutely not. These are loving parents who made the worst mistake imaginable. Imagine how we feel thinking about those children and how they passed, now imagine being the parent of that child and how they must feel. It was an accident....the worst possible unimaginable kind. I bet the most recent parents heard these stories before and thought the same thing a lot of people do....how do you leave your baby in the car? I can guarantee a year ago they would have said the same thing. It can be any one of us. Say it wouldnt be you all you want, but thats not the case. These are good attentive parents, just like you or I. To think it cant happen to you, leaves you at a great disadvantage and does a great disservice to your child to think you are above anything like this ever happening to you. horrible, horrible things happen to good people, good parents, ALL THE TIME. Do not condemn them, do not stand on a soapbox and chastise them....think, it couldve been me, my DH, anyone. Keep the lesson with you and thank your lucky stars you have never made the worst mistake of your life. Be grateful for the discussions that come of it and make you more aware, make you take extra precautions (eg, diaper bag on the front seat, cell in the back) so you are never this parent. I cant possibly fathom forgetting my DC is in the back seat and I have to drop them at daycare, but I bet if you asked these parents a year ago they would say the same thing. It is HORRIBLE, it is unspeakable....it is one of the worst deaths imaginable for these babies. But it happens more than you think.....it could be you. I know you think it couldnt be....but it could.
Message edited 6/21/2014 1:53:56 AM.
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| Posted 6/21/14 1:50 AM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I am sorry I am sure there will be those who disagree but I just can't understand how you could leave your child all day long in the car. I just can't. Yes, everyone has been sleep deprived, everyone has been distracted. Tell me a parent who doesn't have a stressed/tired/rushed day. It is part of being a parent. But you don't think once all day long about them? I could see 30 seconds, 5 mins. But not all day long. If you think you are a parent who could forget your kid. Set a reminder on your phone people do it for much less important things. I don't think being sleep deprived or distracted is a valid excuse to leave them all day long. As I said 5 mins I could see, but not hours later.
As far as daycares calling. Schools call if you do not call them and say your child isn't coming in that day. They have many more students than a daycare has. It shouldn't be needed, but hey, if parents feel they can't remember their child then maybe it should be a law, if you don't call, they will call and check. If you are really forgetful. Put a note at your desk that said did you kiss your child goodbye today, or whatever you personally need.
I get leaving a stroller somewhere, a purse, but the first thing I always had in my mental checklist was my child. I even look for them when they are not with me out of habit.
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| Posted 6/21/14 7:02 AM |
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Jasminscent
LIF Infant
Member since 10/13 122 total posts
Name:
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Some of the cases are a few hours and not all day long, and it's possible they think they are actually in daycare as exampled by the parents who drive to daycare after work. I personally am not thinking about my kids every few minutes or every hour when I'm at work because I'm focused on work. I'll think about them maybe when I'm on my lunch break but still those parents probably just thought they were in daycare.
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| Posted 6/21/14 7:43 AM |
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Jasminscent
LIF Infant
Member since 10/13 122 total posts
Name:
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Also I'm guessing this is happening to the parent who usually don't have the kids so you might think to check for your child but what about your DH?
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| Posted 6/21/14 7:45 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I'm sorry I can't with the it was just an accident and the guilt is punishment enough. Yes they may have been amazing parents 99% of the time but this man killed his kid. There is no way around it. NGOs actions direct killed his kid and that should be punished.
IMO to forget your kid for 20mins is an accident. For 8 hours is not. It's neglect.
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| Posted 6/21/14 7:46 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I must be a neglectful, horrible mom because I don't think about my kid every second of every day all day. There are times when I'm at work busy and forget to call to check up on him for hrs and realize it's too late he's already in bed.
I don't think I could ever do this, but I also don't conceive the notion of something tragic ever happening to my son. BUT bad sh!t happens to good people and awesome perfect people, including parents, can make tragic and aweful mistakes. It's called being human.
Have you ever almost got into bad accident in a car while driving which would been your fault and could've been tragic? Have you ever lost your child for split second at a park or store? Has your child ever ran away from you while outside?
It's so sad and tragic for these poor babies and the parents who made the most horrific mistake. But just because you believe you could never and you aren't build that way doesn't mean these parents didn't make the worse mistake humanly possible. How do they survive? I hope there is something that can be done about this because although on LIF this would never happen to any of us, it does happen, and a lot more then it should.
Message edited 6/21/2014 8:13:49 AM.
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| Posted 6/21/14 8:07 AM |
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noworlater
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1528 total posts
Name:
Now!
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by gina409
In parents magazine a couple months ago this was a featured article
Wish I could find and link it
I read a few stories of some kids who survived and some that did not.
They had varied stories of we switched cars,we ran late, no sleep etc
It was heartbreaking reading it. I could not imagine living it
The guilt they will feel forever is enough. They don't need he judgements I never realized so many had
I read this too I cried that's when this became a big fear of mine those stories after stuck in my head
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| Posted 6/21/14 8:28 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Omgoodness...all this judgement. I am fairly certain they didn't wake up that morning thinking " hey, today seems like a good to to kill my child". I feel so bad that not only do they have to mourn the death of their child but live with also the judgement of people that never loved their child or knew their child as much as they did. Personally, I think people should take a step back, hug their child, learn from these tragic events and assert the judgemental energy into feeling sorry for these families. I can not even imagine what they are going through. I can't imagine how one gets through this. So sad.
Message edited 6/21/2014 8:48:20 AM.
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| Posted 6/21/14 8:47 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I'm not judging - but, this does shock me. I have two kids and in my life have never forgot them in the car for a second. It's the routine, I get out and then I get them out. But, then again, I am ALWAYS with them so therein may be the difference! I have the opposite problem when I am alone I am always going to open the back door and get them out ha!
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| Posted 6/21/14 8:48 AM |
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JC297
LIF Infant
Member since 7/11 358 total posts
Name:
jac
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Do they charge parents whose children drown in a pool? run out into the street and get hit by car? Accidents happen. Brains are weird.
My mom left me in the supermarket once when I was a kid. She was used to food shopping on her own and I had walked away from her. Should she have been charged with abandonment?
I think people are quick to judge and point the finger and i think unless you are in the situation you can be biased.
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| Posted 6/21/14 9:05 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by alli3131
I'm sorry I can't with the it was just an accident and the guilt is punishment enough. Yes they may have been amazing parents 99% of the time but this man killed his kid. There is no way around it. NGOs actions direct killed his kid and that should be punished.
IMO to forget your kid for 20mins is an accident. For 8 hours is not. It's neglect.
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| Posted 6/21/14 9:08 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by itsbabytime
I'm not judging - but, this does shock me. I have two kids and in my life have never forgot them in the car for a second. It's the routine, I get out and then I get them out. But, then again, I am ALWAYS with them so therein may be the difference! I have the opposite problem when I am alone I am always going to open the back door and get them out ha!
Exactly that's the difference you are always with your children so routine is to check for them even when you don't have them. Let's say your DH for example, it would be out of his routine.
The way life is set up with people working full time and juggling kids and their hectic schedules, we become robotic and doing to many things at once. I really believe that's the crux of this issue.
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| Posted 6/21/14 9:10 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Also everyone keeps saying to forget your kid for 8 hour is neglect and horrible. Just stop and think for a second that they didn't consciously leave their kid in the car to run into the store and forget then for 8 hrs. In this parents head, the kid was at daycare. How do you know through out the day they weren't thinking about their kid but really believe they were safe and sound at a daycare facility???
It's not about neglect it's about your mind believing in something and thinking it's a fact. Just like EVERYONE believes they could never do this as a FACT. I'm sure they thought that too.. :(
Message edited 6/21/2014 9:15:26 AM.
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| Posted 6/21/14 9:13 AM |
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by Sash
Also everyone keeps saying to forget your kid for 8 hour is neglect and horrible. Just stop and think for a second that they didn't consciously leave their kid in the car to run into the store and forget then for 8 hrs. In this parents head, the kid was at daycare. How do you know through out the day they weren't thinking about their kid but really believe they were safe and sound at a daycare facility???
It's not about neglect it's about your mind believing in something and thinking it's a fact. Just like EVERYONE believes they could never do this as a FACT. I'm sure they thought that too.. :(
This is the key. People are forgetting that these people are assuming their child is safe somewhere
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| Posted 6/21/14 9:37 AM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
Name:
We're so blessed!
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by alli3131
I'm sorry I can't with the it was just an accident and the guilt is punishment enough. Yes they may have been amazing parents 99% of the time but this man killed his kid. There is no way around it. NGOs actions direct killed his kid and that should be punished.
IMO to forget your kid for 20mins is an accident. For 8 hours is not. It's neglect.
Agreed....I feel just horrible for parents of children that make these verrrry tragic "mistakes" bc they have to live with this the rest of their lives BUT no matter how you slice it it is neglect .....I know ppl believe wholeheartedly that it takes a village but bottom line it doesn't..... it takes at least one loving and attentive person/parent .....the "village" HELPS occasionally but to put the responsibility of knowing where when and how and if your children are happy and well and living and breathing on the "village" than you have not accepted your responsibility of being a parent .....I'm a sahm and some might flame me saying "well see that's why she doesn't understand having to work and rush to get there and the stress of the job while getting your kids to daycares" ....and maybe I don't understand rushing to get to a job and daycare BUT I do accept my responsibility to know the "when where and how" of my child AT ALL TIMES ......we go to a party and Im never the one that is talking and sitting and relaxing why? Bc as a parent I need to know where they are and if they are ok AT ALL TIMES I don't ever think "someone else will let me know if they fell or if someone hurt them" bc thats my job to find this out not the "village" .....this applies to shopping with them, taking them for walks play dates etc.....and it definitely applies to dropping them off at daycare grandmas etc etc ....sometimes when u expect others to take on the responsibility of your children you forget that nobody else has them as number one on their priority list which is why they need to be on yours ALL THE TIME .....with all that said it doesn't make me lessen how bad I feel for these parents but it also doesn't change my view that daycares shouldn't have the responsibility of calling and checking in etc the responsibility solely lies with the parents
Message edited 6/21/2014 10:06:46 AM.
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| Posted 6/21/14 9:52 AM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Shocked at the "It would never happen to me" responses.
Ok, so maybe YOU wouldn't accidentally leave your child in the car. But what about your SO? And what if your SO DID and the unthinkable actually happened?
Would you want them to go to jail for such a terrible, horrific act??!
They will deal with this FOREVER. No matter what. Punishment or not.
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| Posted 6/21/14 10:12 AM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Twice I have started driving to work with my son still in the backseat. And he was singing pretty loud. Luckily it was early enough that I was able to turn around and head to my mom's. But I was on autopilot.
DH does drop off on the daycare days. And most days I get annoyed because he tells me the same thing every single time, with the exception of what he was eating for breakfast. But he calls me every morning after drop off so we know it happened. I also leave my bag in the backseat so that I have to look behind me when I get out. This is my worst nightmare and I can't even begin to imagine what these parents are feeling, especially having read the article in Parents Magazine.
I know a few posters above mentioned it, but I urge everyone to read the Parents article. There is a neurological science behind it.
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| Posted 6/21/14 10:33 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by justbeachy
Shocked at the "It would never happen to me" responses.
Ok, so maybe YOU wouldn't accidentally leave your child in the car. But what about your SO? And what if your SO DID and the unthinkable actually happened?
Would you want them to go to jail for such a terrible, horrific act??!
They will deal with this FOREVER. No matter what. Punishment or not.
Yes if my DH left my kid in a car for 8 hrs I would one probably never be able to forgive him and two think he should be in jail. Sorry if that's harsh but plain and simple he killed my child.
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| Posted 6/21/14 10:45 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Would everyone feel the same against a parent who rolled over and smothered their child to death
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| Posted 6/21/14 10:54 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by gina409
Would everyone feel the same against a parent who rolled over and smothered their child to death
or whose child accidentally drowned or any other unthinkable fatal accident?
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| Posted 6/21/14 11:02 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by gina409
Would everyone feel the same against a parent who rolled over and smothered their child to death
or whose child accidentally drowned or any other unthinkable fatal accident?
Exactly. I'm sure those parents said they could never too
We should consider ourselves lucky and if none of these accidents ever happen To any of us thank god
Bc they do happen. Every day. To every kind of person. And none of them wanted it to
And the will be persecuted by people like the ones in this thread and persecuted by their own conscious for the rest of their lives
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| Posted 6/21/14 11:10 AM |
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Nothing to add besides my child's school will call you ASAP if your kid doesn't show up to school and if no one called the attendance office to say he or she would be out for the day.
So I don't see why a day care wouldn't (or doesn't).
Tragic all around.
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| Posted 6/21/14 11:13 AM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
Name:
We're so blessed!
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by gina409
Would everyone feel the same against a parent who rolled over and smothered their child to death
or whose child accidentally drowned or any other unthinkable fatal accident?
If it was not handled responsibly which led to the tragic death of ones child, then yes I would feel exactly the same ......for example if you have chosen to cosleep you need to make sure you have either a cosleeper attached to the bed or one of the ones that's put in the bed between the two parents, if you have put the baby in between the two of you without any measures to help prevent a tragic accident, then yes its negligence......same goes for a child that accidentally drowns when there wasn't an alarm and/or locked fence around said pool to help prevent a tragic accident, then yes its negligence ....in any situation in order for it not to be considered neglect the parents have to be taking appropriate responsible measures like these along with periodically checking up on their children
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| Posted 6/21/14 11:16 AM |
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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by gina409
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by gina409
Would everyone feel the same against a parent who rolled over and smothered their child to death
or whose child accidentally drowned or any other unthinkable fatal accident?
Exactly. I'm sure those parents said they could never too
We should consider ourselves lucky and if none of these accidents ever happen To any of us thank god
Bc they do happen. Every day. To every kind of person. And none of them wanted it to
And the will be persecuted by people like the ones in this thread and persecuted by their own conscious for the rest of their lives
ITA! We all need to be careful in judging others. God forbid, We could end up on the other side of the coin sobbing for another "mistake" or "accident" we made.
We should take this story as a warning and use it to be extra vigilant over our own precious babies.
Message edited 6/21/2014 11:29:20 AM.
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| Posted 6/21/14 11:23 AM |
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