Re: Question - "family bed" related...

DS co-sleeps with us occassionally and we BOTH love it! I try to pick him up and put him in his crib after he falls asleep, in which he sleeps through the night, but sometimes he just snuggles up to me and I am too lazy to get up I co-slept with my parents and had no problem transitioning to my bed later on nor any issues arising from it. It is highly advocated by some doctors and I honestly do not see any harm to your child by allowing them to sleep with you, as long as that decision in made by you and your husband.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Both my kids have co-slept. My DD slept in bed with me for most of the night until she was 2. When she hit 2, we moved her into a twin bed in her own room. She had zero problems at all with the transition. At 4, she puts herself to sleep & sleeps right through the night. It doesn't seem to me that co-sleeping harmed her in anyway!

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

This is definitely a personal decision. We do not co-sleep, I was always just too afraid something could go wrong and I wouldn't be able to get over that. DS is all over the place when he sleeps. I never know which way he'll be facing when I look in on him at night. Literally he'll be in a different spot facing a different direction every time...even if I peek in 5 or 6 times before I go to bed.

Part of what also influenced my decision...I have a friend who brought her 6 month old into bed with them.....he's 6 and STILL in their bed. I do believe it has affected their marriage and her DH often sleeps on the couch as to not wake the baby when he gets home late from work. Not the best of situations

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

This is really a personal decision. IMO I feel that children should sleep in their own beds (unless they are sick). Everyone will get a better night sleep.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

You guys have to do what you feel is right for you family. Having said that, it wasn't for us. We did it with DS only when he was sick and never really liked sleeping with us.
With DD it was in spurts. She definitely slept in our bed a lot more and it was a little difficult to get her out (needing to CIO in the middle of the night is not fun).

Now, I have one SIL who has 3 kids and they slept in her bed. They never started there but they did end up there. They all transitioned to a bed fine and never had any sleep issues. They also all napped in there cribs.

My other SIL has 1 child who is almost 2.5. He started STTN early on, I want to say around 2 months maybe 3 months. Then he started waking at 6 months. He has been in there bed ever since. She is 5 months PG now and it is very difficult for the 3 of them to sleep in the bed. He has kicked her in the belly a few times already. They just bought a bed for him and it is very difficult for them.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Babies aren't meant to sleep alone. In fact, our crazy country is one of the only ones that puts their infants/toddlers to bed in a crib in a separate room. Not only is it physically not in their best interest, but this isolation has negative emotional and social consequences as well. I fully support CoSleeping and Bed Sharing and so do many professionals. Here are several articles that I hope will reinforce your already good practices!!! Enjoy your Emma! Time goes so fast. There is a time and place to be independent and to be disciplined. A parent's closeness or intimacy should never be used as a tool for teaching any of these. You will know when it is time to increase the separation. And at 5 months, she's barely ready, nor are her parents!
Healthy Sleeping

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

when my dd was born i was anti-co sleeping. that quickly changed when i was severly sleep deprived and the only way my baby would sleep thru the night was in our bed at 6 months old we tried transitioning to the crib, dd would falll asleep in our bed and we would move her to the crib. she would wake up around 5am and end up back in our bed until morning. while we were transitioning, the crib was in our bedroom. when we finally put it in dd room, we hated not having dd with us anymore. wouldnt you know that FH started taking dd out of the crib in the middle of the night to sleep with us? so here we are, dd is gonna be 16 months next week and shes still sleeping in our bed. shes perfectly normal and healthy. you gotta do whats right for you, tell everyone else to mind thier own busniss. heck, tell them dd is sleeping in the crib, what they dont know wont kill them

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

we didn't co-sleep with dd and most likely will not co-sleep with this one.

like a pp said, i've heard too many horror stories about babies being crushed by their parents rolling over onto them. and i think dd needs her space too.

but if that is what works for you and makes you happy, that is what matters.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

I didn't read the comments above but I personally don't agree with co-sleeping and would not do it on regular bases. (occasionally yes, if DD is sick or she had a bad dream and can't go back to sleep something) . I have heard of co-sleeping kids having all kinds of sleeping problems , but not sure how true it is and if it really makes a difference . I can tell you one thing , DD has been sleeping in her crib since she was 3 months old but she is a terrible sleeper and has been since birth , woke us up almost every night for about 20 months, so who knows what's better for them. I have also heard of deaths , but I think now they have a little thing kind of like a bassinet to put in the middle of the bed at night.
I think you do what you think is best for you and your child and that's all you can do.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Sleep problems are not the reason why WE chose not to cosleep, my fear of something happening to my DD in our bed is what has kept us from ever cosleeping. I fear rolling on her, her falling off the bed, suffocating in the blankets, getting strangled by a sheet, etc. That is the only concern I ever have about cosleeping. If you feel comfortable with those things and you are all happy, then I think you should stick with it. Not every situation works for every family. Only you can decide what works for you.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Charlotte co-slept with us for basically her first year...while it was trying at times (she'd wake to nurse every 1.5-2h when she was teething ) DH & I both loved it. Charlie is probably the most affectionate little girl and will sleep through the night. Now that she's teething (again) she's back to waking up in the 4 o'clock hr but then nurses down until about 7'ish.

That said, I never wanted to co-sleep...I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, I was just nervous about having a 10 y/o still in bed with us

In the end we did what was best for us as a family...and it sounds like you're doing the same. I wouldn't pay any mind to the naysayers.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

If you like co-sleeping go for it. It is safe as long as you have a firm mattress and no loose pillows or blankets and are not under the influence of drugs or alcohol and are not extremely overweight.

As for the idea that co-sleeping causes sleep problems, that's not the case. It is a normal sleeping arrangement throughout the world. Sometimes children have sleeping problems and families co-sleep to cope with those problems, but the sleep problems came first not the other way around.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

We co-slept with my 1st until right before his 3rd b-day when he was ready to go into his own bed...

No damage here!

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

It would make me far too nervous to cosleep. I hear the horror stories and can't even imagine. Plus, every person I personally know whose kids coslept had such issues getting their kids to fall asleep on their own and to this day aren't good sleepers. Some people on here seem to swear by it, though. So if you are comfortable with it, don't worry about anyone else. Good luck.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Maybe I am selfish, but DH and I needed our bed to be our space. We spend our entire day with DS and we need "our" time.

Now, DH works overnights, and I still don't let Christopher in our bed, I actually really fight it because he would love it. He is a major cuddler and does come in some mornings to watch TV.

That being said, i don't think that you will damage your child at all, if this works for your family, then go for it. It just doesn't work for us.

You are in NJ, right? I know from my BFF (also in NJ) that you guys have a huge campaign going against co-sleeping, right? Could that be what is prompting your mom and MIL to be speaking up?

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Like a lot of other girls said, you guys do what is best for you. It's not for us - for a few reasons. 1) we are scared of suffocation / rolling over - we have so many blankets and pillows- I would NEVER get any sleep 2) we need our alone time 3) I think the baby needs to recognize his own space. 4) I sorta think it may be hard once you do try to get the baby into their own bed.

I think someone on this thread made a good point - start her out in her crib in the beginning of the night and then if you want you can pick her up and bring her into your room.

You know I heart you :)

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Posted by KateDevine


You are in NJ, right? I know from my BFF (also in NJ) that you guys have a huge campaign going against co-sleeping, right? Could that be what is prompting your mom and MIL to be speaking up?

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

In 14 months we had her sleep with us ONCE for one hour and that was last night. It is definitely not for us.

We had Abby in her crib as soon as it was delivered and had no qualms about doing it. People tried to tell me that because I nursed Abby that it would be easier to have her in my room, bassinet or cosleeper. Total BS in my case. I got up to nurse and had to pee first. There is ZERO difference going back to our room versus hers. And by letting DH sleep, one of us could be functional the next day rather than neither of us. Knowing that I would have to go back to work, I felt that I did not want Abby dependent on sleeping with us. I'd never get a good quality of sleep with her in the bed. I dont get it with her in her crib.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

DS is 21 months and never slept with us. We were nervous. DH is a very heavy sleeper and was afraid of rolling over and hurting DS. I am deaf in one ear and cannot hear anything when I sleep on my "good" ear so we may not have noticed if he was under a pillow, blankets, etc.

Also- DS is not the cuddly type. He loves stretching out and sleeping in his own space. He has always slept very well in his crib and this works for all of us.

I am not against co-sleeping. I know it works for many other families. But it all depends on the people.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by KateDevine


You are in NJ, right? I know from my BFF (also in NJ) that you guys have a huge campaign going against co-sleeping, right? Could that be what is prompting your mom and MIL to be speaking up?

I live in NJ and never heard of this. I just did a search too because I was curious.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by KateDevine


You are in NJ, right? I know from my BFF (also in NJ) that you guys have a huge campaign going against co-sleeping, right? Could that be what is prompting your mom and MIL to be speaking up?

I live in NJ and never heard of this. I just did a search too because I was curious.

My BFF told me about it, she was co-sleeping with her DS and her mom kept referring back to it..

Like I said, I was just told about it..

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

I co slept with DS until he was 3 1/2 mos and the ONLY reason I stopped was becuase he had a bad cold and I wanted him on the anglecare monitor. He made the transition fine. Do what you feel is right. You as her mommy know best what is right for YOUR family

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Posted by davenjess

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by KateDevine


You are in NJ, right? I know from my BFF (also in NJ) that you guys have a huge campaign going against co-sleeping, right? Could that be what is prompting your mom and MIL to be speaking up?

I live in NJ and never heard of this. I just did a search too because I was curious.

My BFF told me about it, she was co-sleeping with her DS and her mom kept referring back to it..

Like I said, I was just told about it..

i have never heard anything about this either....dave's mom just says that her daughter had issues weening her son..

hmm..going to do some searching about the 'campaign'.

Re: Question - "family bed" related...

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by davenjess

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by KateDevine


You are in NJ, right? I know from my BFF (also in NJ) that you guys have a huge campaign going against co-sleeping, right? Could that be what is prompting your mom and MIL to be speaking up?

I live in NJ and never heard of this. I just did a search too because I was curious.

My BFF told me about it, she was co-sleeping with her DS and her mom kept referring back to it..

Like I said, I was just told about it..

i have never heard anything about this either....dave's mom just says that her daughter had issues weening her son..

hmm..going to do some searching about the 'campaign'.

I just texted her to ask her, she said it was actually Philadelphia (they live in Cherry Hill) and that it had to do mainly with statistics about people rolling over on their kids while they slept.

She said she felt it was swayed research b/c it incorporated people who drank, etc and then rolled over on their kids.