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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Not sure where else to post this...
So, I'm pregnant with twins. Deciding on god parents soon. We want two sets of god parents. My brother and his wife...who are both catholic. Both have been confirmed.
The others would be DH's brother and my best friend. Neither have been confirmed. Would I have to split them up and put one confirmed god parent with one that hasn't been confirmed?
Next issue....I was married in the Catholic church but divorced. I remarried but never had an annulment. Will they give ME a hard time over this? I want the baptism to be at my parish so they will know I was married there but no longer with my ex husband.
Why is this so complicated? LOL
I know I have to go to the rectory but I just want to find out as much as I can first. 
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Posted 2/10/15 4:57 PM  |
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SHOPAHOLIC
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1712 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
It depends on your parish. Some are more strict then others. Some don't ask to show proof of baptism/communion for god parents, some just ask for a letter from a current parish stating that they attend regularly.
No my sister and a few of my friends were in similar situations as you and they never bother the mother for any info. They allow unmarried parents to baptize their children 
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| Posted 2/10/15 5:01 PM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
I think it will depend on the parish you are looking to have your DCs baptized in.
My parish is pretty strict about one Godparent being confirmed and active in the church. My oldest son's godfather is confirmed but not active in our church and this was a worry that our priest brought up to us.
As for the annulment/divorce, is your DH Catholic? Is your marriage recognized by the church? I'm assuming the admins at your church would be more interested in knowing your intentions to raise your DCs Catholic than if your marriage was recognized, KWIM?
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| Posted 2/10/15 5:02 PM |
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LiveandLearn
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1586 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
From my understanding at least one god parent has to be Catholic and confirmed. So yes you may need to split them up.
They should not give you a problem about being divorced and did not have an annulment. The annulment is only needed to remarry in the church. I asked this question during my divorce when deciding if I wanted an annulment or not (I did not get one and do not plan on it).
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| Posted 2/10/15 5:05 PM |
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BlueDiamonds
mommy to 3 boys
Member since 2/07 3885 total posts
Name:
proud mommy
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
it seems that each parish is different. with mine, one godparent needed to be catholic and confirmed (if married, also married in the catholic church). the other godparent, if not confirmed, would be considered a "witness". so you may need to split up the couples.
my church also asked about my and DH's marriage. we got married in the same church so it wasn't a problem. the divorce and remarriage may be a problem.
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| Posted 2/10/15 5:09 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
OK, side question. DH and I were NOT married in the catholic church (DH is christian, but not catholic). Will this cause an issue in most parishes?
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| Posted 2/10/15 5:09 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Posted by bpmom
I think it will depend on the parish you are looking to have your DCs baptized in.
My parish is pretty strict about one Godparent being confirmed and active in the church. My oldest son's godfather is confirmed but not active in our church and this was a worry that our priest brought up to us.
As for the annulment/divorce, is your DH Catholic? Is your marriage recognized by the church? I'm assuming the admins at your church would be more interested in knowing your intentions to raise your DCs Catholic than if your marriage was recognized, KWIM?
My DH is catholic. Was baptized and received communion. Was never confirmed.
No, our marriage technically wouldn't be recognized by the catholic church because I remarried after divorce without an annulment. Which then of course he would have needed to be confirmed for us to be married in the church.
I hate going to the rectory. I feel like I'm going to be interrogated. LOL.
Thanks for all of your feedback! 
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| Posted 2/10/15 5:21 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Posted by LiveandLearn
From my understanding at least one god parent has to be Catholic and confirmed. So yes you may need to split them up.
They should not give you a problem about being divorced and did not have an annulment. The annulment is only needed to remarry in the church. I asked this question during my divorce when deciding if I wanted an annulment or not (I did not get one and do not plan on it).
Thanks! As far as the god parents, splitting them up won't be a problem. I know the non confirmed ones are just seen as "witnesses". If that's what we have to do, I'm ok with that.
I'm hoping that this is the case with me not being married in the catholic church and DH not being confirmed.
Message edited 2/10/2015 5:41:51 PM.
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| Posted 2/10/15 5:24 PM |
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
We just had our DS baptized. The godparents had to get a sponsor certificate from their parish. They were not asked to show proof of baptism/confirmation In order to obtain the certificate.
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| Posted 2/10/15 5:32 PM |
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Seawolf
LIF Adult
Member since 3/14 1336 total posts
Name:
Scrumba
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Depends on the parish/pastor. My parish os pretty liberal and will pretty much baptize any child even if it's just a single parent and no godparents.
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| Posted 2/10/15 5:38 PM |
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jerrysgirl
I love my hot dog!!
Member since 6/06 5357 total posts
Name:
E & J
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Depends on the parish. My own parish wanted to know if I had all my sacraments. When I was godmother at another parish, nothing was asked.
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| Posted 2/10/15 6:16 PM |
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LulaBell
:)
Member since 1/06 3508 total posts
Name:
J
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
At my parish we had to provide information about the godparents and their sacraments, they were quite strict. However I know other parishes are more lax. I would call and save yourself a trip.
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| Posted 2/10/15 6:49 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Each Church is different.
My Church said to me on the phone, "I assume you chose the RIGHT kind of Godparents and both are Catholic??"
I'm like, "Yes".
My sister is.
My best friend, my son's Godfather, his mother was Catholic and his father Jewish. He was not raised either because they didn't want to choose/favor one or the other.
I lied but I did not want anyone but my best friend. I love him.
He is the best Godfather Julian could ask for.
They worked on the honor system of we ask, you tell us, we believe.
It may not be right but it worked for us.
I hope you don't have an issue - I wish I could tell you for sure but each church is different! I know they can be difficult sometimes. I have had so many issues over the years. I love my faith but dang it 
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| Posted 2/10/15 7:12 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Our parish required documentation from one godparent that they were an active, confirmed member of the church.
As for being divorced, I would think it depends on the church. My brother is not married and they are still allowing my niece to be baptized, but I know another couple not married in a church and they had a hard time getting their DS baptized.
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| Posted 2/10/15 7:19 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
I had to provide a baptismal certificate to be my nephews god mother. I think each Parrish has their own rules.
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| Posted 2/10/15 7:23 PM |
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Churches vary. However, I would say it is at least fairly unlikely that you'll have trouble finding a church to baptize your child based on your divorce and remarriage.
My mom was married in the Catholic church and divorced. She never had an annulment, and she was married to my dad outside of the church. There were no problems baptizing me, and this was back in the day!
As far as the godparents, you are likely going to have to split them. Yes, some churches go on the honor system, and you could, essentially, do what you please; I would, personally, be uncomfortable lying about a baptism though.
Message edited 2/10/2015 7:32:23 PM.
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| Posted 2/10/15 7:31 PM |
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kn2011
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/10 537 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Our church did ask us if we were married ... but just wanted to know.. we didnt have to be.. So I cant see your past marriage being an issue.... As for godparents.. they just said are they Catholic.. I said yes.. end of conversation.. didnt ask for any proof. So if your particular church gives you a hard time.. im sure you can go elsewhere :)
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| Posted 2/10/15 7:36 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Thanks for all of your feedback!! I really appreciate it.
I just have to go and see what thy say. I just would really love to have my babies baptized in the same Church I was 
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| Posted 2/10/15 9:21 PM |
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sunnyplus3
:)
Member since 11/05 8749 total posts
Name:
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
I was refused by my Parrish (at that time) because I was an unwed teenage mother. That Catholic Church refused to baptize my son. Luckily I found another Catholic Church that happened to be in a bad neighborhood that was willing to baptize him. I had major problems with my faith for years after that experience.
That was 28 years ago, I think the Catholics have had to come off their high horse position since then.
I hope you aren't judged, it's not very Christ-like to judge.
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| Posted 2/11/15 7:13 AM |
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Mrs&MrsK
i need sleep ;-)
Member since 2/14 2008 total posts
Name:
L
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
From what I have read, the church (most) won't penalize the baby and his/her right to baptism based on the parent's background (ie divorce, etc)
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| Posted 2/11/15 8:39 AM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
I'm Catholic but chose to baptize my son (and get married) at my Husband's lutheran church. They were much more welcoming, and had way less "rules".
My friend is baptizing her son at a Catholic church and has to go to classes, and both godparents must be catholic, with all sacraments.
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| Posted 2/11/15 8:39 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Posted by KellyFG
I was refused by my Parrish (at that time) because I was an unwed teenage mother. That Catholic Church refused to baptize my son. Luckily I found another Catholic Church that happened to be in a bad neighborhood that was willing to baptize him. I had major problems with my faith for years after that experience.
That was 28 years ago, I think the Catholics have had to come off their high horse position since then.
I hope you aren't judged, it's not very Christ-like to judge.
What a terrible thing for a new young mother to have to go through. I can understand having problems with your faith after that experience.
It is sad that I'm nervous to speak to someone because I fear I'll be judged. Especially by a church that I grew up within. I'm not deeply religious but it's still my parish. I received all my sacraments there. My brother was married there. My niece and nephews baptized there....I would be sad if I had to go someplace else.
Thanks for sharing.
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| Posted 2/11/15 9:02 AM |
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jerrysgirl
I love my hot dog!!
Member since 6/06 5357 total posts
Name:
E & J
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Posted by KellyFG
I was refused by my Parrish (at that time) because I was an unwed teenage mother. That Catholic Church refused to baptize my son. Luckily I found another Catholic Church that happened to be in a bad neighborhood that was willing to baptize him. I had major problems with my faith for years after that experience.
That was 28 years ago, I think the Catholics have had to come off their high horse position since then.
I hope you aren't judged, it's not very Christ-like to judge.
This sounds like my parish and a close relatives case. She was pregnant and wanted to get married and they refused to marry her and then refused to baptize her baby after she got married at the court house. I am a member of my parish half-heartedly because it is my parish from birth and so far where I did all my sacraments.
Message edited 2/11/2015 9:29:01 AM.
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| Posted 2/11/15 9:28 AM |
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Posted by jessnbrian
OK, side question. DH and I were NOT married in the catholic church (DH is christian, but not catholic). Will this cause an issue in most parishes?
It depends on the parish. We called 1 parish and they were giving me all the information. When I asked if it was ok that I wasn't Catholic they told me I had to go to another parish (with some BS reason). I called the other parish and they told me as long as we agreed to raise him in the Catholic faith, which we do, they had no problem with it.
EDIT: To answer the OP, I don't have experience with the divorce part of the question, I'm sorry, but they asked us if the Godparents were confirmed but asked for no proof, except my husbands. I have heard that as long as ONE of the Godparents is Catholic, it is ok.
Message edited 2/11/2015 9:50:03 AM.
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| Posted 2/11/15 9:46 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Question about Baptism/God parents and the Catholic Church..Help!
Thanks for all of the responses. I think we know what we need to do as far as the godparents go. As for me...I'll just see what they say. If they ask, obviously I wouldn't lie about my divorce. If they ask for proof of confirmation from my now DH, well then that will be an issue in itself.
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| Posted 2/11/15 9:57 AM |
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