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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
Two of my friends are getting married next year. They are both Catholic but are not getting married in a church, they are getting married at their reception halls. I told them they should check with their church first on their "rules" b/c they may give them a problem if they choose to baptize their children Catholic but didnt get married in a Catholic church. It happened to a few of my friends in the past and they had to call several different churches before they found one that would baptize their babies.
Did anyone else have this problem? What are the official "rules" or does it vary by church?
ETA: Another question. My one friend who is getting married at a reception hall said she wont have a problem b/c she is getting married by a catholic minister. I didn't think they did that or is it just priests that wont marry you outside the church?
Message edited 9/2/2008 6:35:36 PM.
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Posted 9/2/08 6:32 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
I think it might vary by church. I have Catholic friends who just had their baby baptized in a Catholic church. They were married at a country club by a nondenominational pastor, and didn't have a problem when they went to schedule the baptism.
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| Posted 9/2/08 6:39 PM |
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metagefken
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/08 679 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
getting married outside the church should have absolutely no bearing on the baptism of children. one sacrament has nothing to do with the other. however, some churches can be very hard core when it comes to the sacraments and make it difficult, which IMO is a grave injustice.
priests and deacons cannot participate in the sacrament outside a church. however you can find a retired priest in the yellow pages that will do it. i know, i've looked. there is no such a thing as a catholic minister. the catholic church will look upon all marriages outside the church as civil ceremonies.
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| Posted 9/2/08 6:45 PM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
a friend from high school got married in december- they got married at their hall. hes catholic, shes not...
BUT a few months later, they had a small "validation ceremony" at his church so that it could be recognized by the church and he could receive the sacrament of marriage.
lol i'm not catholic so i have no idea of the details, but i just know this is what they did
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| Posted 9/2/08 6:46 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
My brother and SIL got married at their hall and they were able to have my nephew baptized with no problem. It may have been their church though.
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:21 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
DH and I got married at our reception hall because I wanted an outdoor ceremony. It was a huge problem at the time because we didn't realize that a Catholic priest CANNOT marry you outside the church. We ended up finding a "new Catholic" church out East with a married former Catholic priest who performed the ceremony - basically, he looked and acted like a priest and we can say that "St. XXX" married us, but technically, it wouldn't be recognized by the "official" Catholic church. Now, when we wanted to have DS baptized, we went to the church where DH used to belong as a child and it seemed that the only requirement was that a Godparent have been baptized. We did have to write down on the form the Church where we were married, but we put down "St. XXX" and they never questioned it.
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:33 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
The sacrament of marriage cannot be performed outside of a Catholic Church SO marriage outside of the church is NOT recognized by the church.
And, the Church WANTS children to be baptised and brougt into the faith. As long as you are willing to raise the children Catholic they shouldn't care if you were married in the Church. BUT of course you will always find old fashioned priest that is trying to get everyone married or whatever LOL
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:48 PM |
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strawberry13
LIF Infant
Member since 8/07 245 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
I am Catholic and DH is Jewish.. We were not married in the church because we wanted to be married on neutral ground... We were married by a Rabbi and the priest from my church.. Our marriage is recognized by the church. We went to pre-cana and we both had to sign papers that our children will be brought up catholic. We also had to get married in the reception hall building. My priest told us that we could not get married in the garden or on the beach it had to be in an actual building.. Even the people that did our precana assured us that our marriage is recognized by the church and our children would be accepted in the church.
THe Catholic church is becoming more open minded these days.
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:56 PM |
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donegal419
St. Gerard, pray for us.
Member since 7/07 7650 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
Posted by Tilde
The sacrament of marriage cannot be performed outside of a Catholic Church SO marriage outside of the church is NOT recognized by the church.
And, the Church WANTS children to be baptised and brougt into the faith. As long as you are willing to raise the children Catholic they shouldn't care if you were married in the Church. BUT of course you will always find old fashioned priest that is trying to get everyone married or whatever LOL
Yep.... any baby regardless of the faith (or lack thereof) of their parents can be baptized. the parents do NOT need to be married in the Church. Sure it's probably preferable, meaning that they practice the faith, but it will NOT impeded them getting teir child baptized.
Re: your friend having a Catholic minister at her wedding in a hall. The ONLY way a Catholic can get married at a hall is if they are marrying a non-Christian that cannot or will not because of their religion (i.e. Jewish, Muslim, etc.) get married in a Church. They still need to complete inter-faith Pre-Cana and the priest needs to complete an inter-faith dispensation on behalf of the Catholic spouse. If none of this is done, she is probably getting married by a defrocked priest that may do the wedding in a Catholic "tradition", but it is not recognized as a valid Church marriage or a Sacrament for the Catholic.
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:47 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
Posted by Tilde
The sacrament of marriage cannot be performed outside of a Catholic Church SO marriage outside of the church is NOT recognized by the church.
And, the Church WANTS children to be baptised and brougt into the faith. As long as you are willing to raise the children Catholic they shouldn't care if you were married in the Church. BUT of course you will always find old fashioned priest that is trying to get everyone married or whatever LOL
This is not true. My wedding ceremony was performed at the catering hall by a deacon and is recognized by the Diocese of Rockville Centre. I got the same certificate in the mail that my friend who got married in our church by a priest did. We were told that an outdoor ceremony will not be recognized but they can be done outside the church. When we were meeting with him ahead of time the deacon actually winked when told us that if we were planning an outdoor ceremony just don't tell him ahead of time and if it's all set up when he gets there what can he do.
And I had absolutely no problem having my children baptized at my church even though my DH did not participate in the prep class since he's Jewish and was not comfortable with it.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:17 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
My parents were not married in a Catholic church & my Brother & I were baptised in the Catholic church.
My Niece & Nephew were born out of wedlock - baptized in a Catholic church.
Definitely something case by case.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:59 PM |
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donegal419
St. Gerard, pray for us.
Member since 7/07 7650 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
Posted by lorich
My parents were not married in a Catholic church & my Brother & I were baptised in the Catholic church.
My Niece & Nephew were born out of wedlock - baptized in a Catholic church.
Definitely something case by case.
it's not case by case. if you bring a baby to the Church to be baptized, they will be baptized. it doesn't matter if the parents were married in the Church or not or whether or not the child's parents are married at all.
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:57 PM |
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My2Boys
Love.
Member since 10/05 4796 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
Karen and Cathy are correct. I am Catholic and DH is Jewish. I received dispensation from the Bishop in 2 forms -(one, to marry a non-Christian, and two, to marry outside of the Church). We were married at my reception hall by a priest from St. William the Abbot and a Rabbi. My marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church as a Sacrament. We could not have had an outdoor ceremony.
We attended interfaith pre-cana and I agreed to "do everything in my power to raise my children Catholic" (my boys are baptized). I digress... 
The Catholic Church will baptize any baby regardless. They love new members. 
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:20 PM |
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HillW9608
Hello Summer!
Member since 5/08 5916 total posts
Name:
Hill
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
FH and I werent even married and DD was baptized in a Catholic church
We arent getting married in a church either.. so Im sure we wont have a problem with the next child.
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| Posted 9/3/08 12:37 AM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
A priest will marry you outside the church if you have a reason, for example in an interfaith marriage. And yes, you can still baptize your children. My priest was not retired and has a congregation. I have 3 marriage licenses, one that is legal, one recognized by the catholic church and one recognized in the jewish faith.
Message edited 9/3/2008 12:49:52 AM.
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| Posted 9/3/08 12:46 AM |
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
DH and I got married at the reception hall, we are both Catholic. The parish I go to now will baptize any DH we may have.
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| Posted 9/3/08 8:30 AM |
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tiki03
*************
Member since 9/05 8660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
DH and I are both Catholic and we did not get in married in church. When both of my boys were baptized, the priest new we got married in Hawaii on the beach. We had no problems.
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| Posted 9/3/08 8:34 AM |
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LuvMy2Girls
@>---------
Member since 5/05 11165 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
Posted by My2Boys
Karen and Cathy are correct. I am Catholic and DH is Jewish. I received dispensation from the Bishop in 2 forms -(one, to marry a non-Christian, and two, to marry outside of the Church). We were married at my reception hall by a priest from St. William the Abbot and a Rabbi. My marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church as a Sacrament. We could not have had an outdoor ceremony.
We attended interfaith pre-cana and I agreed to "do everything in my power to raise my children Catholic" (my boys are baptized). I digress...
The Catholic Church will baptize any baby regardless. They love new members.
Almost exact situation for us. I'm catholic, dh jewish, both of us had to sign something that said we would raise them jewish/catholic. We attended pre cana as well, but it wasn't interfaith.
I got married by a rabbi and a deacon OUTSIDE at my catering hall and my marriage is recognized by the church.
Both my girls were also baptized at a catholic church.
My deacon was from our lady of grace in west babylon.
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| Posted 9/3/08 8:35 AM |
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ko123
My loves!
Member since 10/07 3002 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
We are both Catholic and getting married outside of the church in November, by a retired Catholic priest.
As for baptizing our children, we've heard that it shouldn't be a problem (depending on the church). Good to hear all of your positive experiences with it!!
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| Posted 9/3/08 9:55 AM |
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Babe49
M...
Member since 4/08 1880 total posts
Name:
Maria
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
DH and I are both Catholic and got married at the reception hall, by an interfaith/multidemoninational priest. We have no children yet, so I cannot answer the Baptism question.
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| Posted 9/3/08 10:14 AM |
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Babe49
M...
Member since 4/08 1880 total posts
Name:
Maria
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
Posted by Babe49
I wanted to add we are both non-practicing, even though we were both raised Catholic.
Message edited 9/3/2008 10:21:10 AM.
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| Posted 9/3/08 10:20 AM |
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KPtoys
I'm getting old
Member since 5/05 8688 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
We got married at a hall and all 3 of my children are baptized
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| Posted 9/3/08 10:53 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Question for those that are Catholic but didn't get married in a church
The church wants you to raise your children Catholic so they don't really give anyone a problem with that.
We got married at our hall so our marriage isn't recognized by the church, but DD was baptised no problem.
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| Posted 9/3/08 10:57 AM |
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