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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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question re: jewish faith/marriage
My DS is half catholic/half jewish. I am baptizing him & he will receive communion & be confirmed as well in the catholic religion this way if he ever wants to marry a catholic girl in a church, he won't have any problems.
But my question is what if he wants to marry a jewish girl in a temple? Will it be a problem? Does he have to have a Bar Mitzvah? DH has no clue 
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Posted 3/25/10 5:22 PM  |
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
It depends on the temple and the rabbi but assuming that you are the one who is not Jewish, your son is not considered to be Jewish (so no Jewish wedding). Personally, I do not consider a child who has been baptized to be Jewish because I do not believe that a person can be both Catholic and Jewish. Many people do not agree with my take on it, though.
As a Jewish person giving advice that may or may not be what you were looking for, I would simply say to raise your child as you wish but make sure he knows that daddy is Jewish and teach your child some things about Jewish culture and the religion. That to me is about respecting the ancestors.
Sorry if this is offensive in any way. It's just one opinion and it happens to be mine.
Message edited 3/25/2010 5:43:36 PM.
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| Posted 3/25/10 5:43 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
Name:
aka momma2b
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
If u will be raising him as a catholic and if he wants to marry a jewish girl in a synagogue, it will depend on the rabbi' s or cantor's policies on interfaith marrige.
If u will not be raising him with a jewish identity, he will not need to become bar mitzvah to marry a jewish girl if she and her clergy person are ok w/ interfaith marriage.
If the girl and her clergy are not ok with interfaith marriage, then he would have to convert or be married by a non-religious officiant and not in a temple
If you raise him with a jewish identity, then he would be considered jewish as well and non of the interfaith issues would be a problem
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| Posted 3/25/10 5:51 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
I think it might depend on where they are married and if they are being married in a reform synagogue or a conservative one. Some more conservative Rabbi's might not perform the ceremony.
If the marriage is interfaith, I am curious to know if an interfaith ketubah is binding. My ketubah is a Conservative ketubah which clearly states that we will both live according to the laws of Moses and Israel. Evnme, can you tell us if a person who is Catholic can sign such a document. Im not looking to stir any pots, I am actually just curious.
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| Posted 3/25/10 6:03 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by Kerie-is-so-very
It depends on the temple and the rabbi but assuming that you are the one who is not Jewish, your son is not considered to be Jewish (so no Jewish wedding). Personally, I do not consider a child who has been baptized to be Jewish because I do not believe that a person can be both Catholic and Jewish. Many people do not agree with my take on it, though.
As a Jewish person giving advice that may or may not be what you were looking for, I would simply say to raise your child as you wish but make sure he knows that daddy is Jewish and teach your child some things about Jewish culture and the religion. That to me is about respecting the ancestors.
Sorry if this is offensive in any way. It's just one opinion and it happens to be mine.
It is my understanding that a person is considered Jewish if they are born to a woman who is Jewish. They can convert back and forth one million times, but they will ALWAYS be considered Jewish even if they are baptized in another faith. So Abby could convert to Catholicism, but she will ALWAYS be Jewish (because she came from me and I am a Jew) as would any of her children.
Message edited 3/25/2010 6:07:05 PM.
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| Posted 3/25/10 6:06 PM |
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mikeandjess
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 2278 total posts
Name:
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by Dani10
My DS is half catholic/half jewish. I am baptizing him & he will receive communion & be confirmed as well in the catholic religion this way if he ever wants to marry a catholic girl in a church, he won't have any problems.
But my question is what if he wants to marry a jewish girl in a temple? Will it be a problem? Does he have to have a Bar Mitzvah? DH has no clue
It depends on the temple and the rabbi but I don't think it'll be a problem. If it's an interfaith wedding, chances are he won't be getting married in a temple or a church.
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| Posted 3/25/10 6:10 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
Name:
aka momma2b
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Responding to goldi: modern ketubot are not binding or legal documents. I have performed interfaith marriages w/ interfaith ketubot.
While the couple and the ketubah are interfaith, my ceremony is purely jewish. The only thing I change is the marriage vow, as the nonjewish partner can't make that vow.
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| Posted 3/25/10 6:15 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by evnme
Responding to goldi: modern ketubot are not binding or legal documents. I have performed interfaith marriages w/ interfaith ketubot.
While the couple and the ketubah are interfaith, my ceremony is purely jewish. The only thing I change is the marriage vow, as the nonjewish partner can't make that vow.
It ain't binding? Shh don't tell DH. We actually take it rather seriously and it is on display for all to see in our living room. We have a conservative ketubah with a Lieberman clause so I can be protected. 
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| Posted 3/25/10 6:23 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
Name:
aka momma2b
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
They are not legally bindng. Your ketuba is not so modern so it may have more legal implications than my reform ketuba
as a reform clergy person, my couples have liberal ketubot and no lieberman clauses
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| Posted 3/25/10 6:31 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Thanks for all of your responses.
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| Posted 3/25/10 6:38 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
My mom is Jewish & my dad is Catholic. I was raised Catholic. I didn't have a bat mitzvah & never went to Hebrew school but rabbis considers me a Jew because my mother is Jewish.
Your son is not considered Jewish because his mother is not. I imagine he'd have to go through a conversion.
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| Posted 3/25/10 6:59 PM |
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mbg1007
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 1247 total posts
Name:
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
According to Jewish Law and therefore most branches of Judaism, since you are not Jewish your son is not Jewish. Reform Judaism may consider a child Jewish if the father is Jewish but different Reform rabbi's/syangogues may also require that for the child to be considered Jewish, they must be raised Jewish as well (I have a friend whose father is Jewish and before her wedding to a Jewish guy she was converted by a Reform rabbi, did the classes and the mikvah and everything). So, most likely for your son to marry a Jewish girl in a synagogue he will have to convert to Judaism.
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| Posted 3/25/10 8:46 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by nrthshgrl
Your son is not considered Jewish because his mother is not. I imagine he'd have to go through a conversion.
Exactly! I know of a case when a person who was raised Jewish and considered himself a Jew had to officially convert to Judaism in order to be married by a rabbi because that person's mother was not Jewish.
So, considering your son is being baptized, he would definitely have to go through a conversion if he ever decided to properly marry a Jewish girl.
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| Posted 3/25/10 11:44 PM |
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donegal419
St. Gerard, pray for us.
Member since 7/07 7650 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
what's a lieberman clause?
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| Posted 3/27/10 12:43 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by donegal419
what's a lieberman clause?
In my Ketubah (which is a Conservative Ketubah) a Lieberman clause pretty much states that if the marriage dissolves, the man MUST grant the woman a "get" (Jewish divorce) so she can marry again in the faith.
Traditionally, the man has to grant a woman a divorce. I happen to work in an Ultra Orthodox neighborhood (where I am sure these clauses do NOT exist). I have heard stories of domestic abuse where women are stuck in marriages because their rotten husbands will NOT give them a get. I've also heard that there are actual "henchmen" (often related to the bride or for hire) to rough up the man should he NOT give her the get.
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| Posted 3/27/10 7:35 AM |
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justmefornow
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 859 total posts
Name:
n
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by Dani10
My DS is half catholic/half jewish. I am baptizing him & he will receive communion & be confirmed as well in the catholic religion this way if he ever wants to marry a catholic girl in a church, he won't have any problems.
But my question is what if he wants to marry a jewish girl in a temple? Will it be a problem? Does he have to have a Bar Mitzvah? DH has no clue
Just curious are you batizing him and having him go through communion and confirmation ONLY so that he can one day marry in a Catholic church if he wants to? I know someone who was not raised Catholic and did something prior to her marriage to a Catholic (spoke to priest/took classes, I'm not quite sure the details) that allowed her to marry in the Church.
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| Posted 3/27/10 9:38 AM |
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by Goldi0218
Posted by donegal419
what's a lieberman clause?
In my Ketubah (which is a Conservative Ketubah) a Lieberman clause pretty much states that if the marriage dissolves, the man MUST grant the woman a "get" (Jewish divorce) so she can marry again in the faith.
Traditionally, the man has to grant a woman a divorce. I happen to work in an Ultra Orthodox neighborhood (where I am sure these clauses do NOT exist). I have heard stories of domestic abuse where women are stuck in marriages because their rotten husbands will NOT give them a get. I've also heard that there are actual "henchmen" (often related to the bride or for hire) to rough up the man should he NOT give her the get.
I have one of them there clauses myself, or with my husband. I just wanted to add that the man does not need the get clause because technically, he does not need a get in order to remarry. I do know someone who would not marry her husband until he got a get, because technically, he would just be married to both his first wife and her but it was religiously okay for a man to do that.
I once read a funny joke about Jewish personals. "Woman with Get Seeks to Get Got." 
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| Posted 3/27/10 10:40 PM |
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imagin916
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 1826 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by Goldi0218
Posted by donegal419
what's a lieberman clause?
In my Ketubah (which is a Conservative Ketubah) a Lieberman clause pretty much states that if the marriage dissolves, the man MUST grant the woman a "get" (Jewish divorce) so she can marry again in the faith.
Traditionally, the man has to grant a woman a divorce. I happen to work in an Ultra Orthodox neighborhood (where I am sure these clauses do NOT exist). I have heard stories of domestic abuse where women are stuck in marriages because their rotten husbands will NOT give them a get. I've also heard that there are actual "henchmen" (often related to the bride or for hire) to rough up the man should he NOT give her the get.
Goldi, I also work in an ultra-orthodox/hasidic community, and one day there were a group of orthodox women handing out flyers to everybody who passed by with a picture of a man who wouldn't give his wife a divorce. They were also posted on every telephone pole and in storefronts. I think the plan was to embarrass him enough so that he would do it. It was then I learned about how the man has to give the woman the divorce.
From what I hear, I think he eventually did grant her the divorce.
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| Posted 3/28/10 11:45 AM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by justmefornow
Posted by Dani10
My DS is half catholic/half jewish. I am baptizing him & he will receive communion & be confirmed as well in the catholic religion this way if he ever wants to marry a catholic girl in a church, he won't have any problems.
But my question is what if he wants to marry a jewish girl in a temple? Will it be a problem? Does he have to have a Bar Mitzvah? DH has no clue
Just curious are you batizing him and having him go through communion and confirmation ONLY so that he can one day marry in a Catholic church if he wants to? I know someone who was not raised Catholic and did something prior to her marriage to a Catholic (spoke to priest/took classes, I'm not quite sure the details) that allowed her to marry in the Church.
No, I am baptizing because my family has always been practacing in our religion & I have nice memories as a child & I want him to have the same.
Message edited 3/28/2010 12:06:21 PM.
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| Posted 3/28/10 12:04 PM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
dh and i are both jewish. we had a bar mitzvah i didn't have a bat mitzvah. we didn't get married at a temple and the rabbi had not problem marrying us. my sister's boyfriend is half jewish and half italian. his mom is jewish. at his bar mitzvah his dad wasn't aloud on the beama since he wasn't jewish. i think it would go by each temple and rabbi
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| Posted 3/28/10 12:32 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by bklyngirl
dh and i are both jewish. we had a bar mitzvah i didn't have a bat mitzvah. we didn't get married at a temple and the rabbi had not problem marrying us. my sister's boyfriend is half jewish and half italian. his mom is jewish. at his bar mitzvah his dad wasn't aloud on the beama since he wasn't jewish. i think it would go by each temple and rabbi
Thanks.. that's what I am thinking.
And 25 years from now, there may be alot more rabbi's open to this than today. DH & I were married by a catholic priest & rabbi.
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| Posted 3/28/10 12:35 PM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by Dani10
Posted by bklyngirl
dh and i are both jewish. we had a bar mitzvah i didn't have a bat mitzvah. we didn't get married at a temple and the rabbi had not problem marrying us. my sister's boyfriend is half jewish and half italian. his mom is jewish. at his bar mitzvah his dad wasn't aloud on the beama since he wasn't jewish. i think it would go by each temple and rabbi
Thanks.. that's what I am thinking.
And 25 years from now, there may be alot more rabbi's open to this than today. DH & I were married by a catholic priest & rabbi.
my cousin married someone whose not jewish. they got married at the hall by an interfaith minister(that's what i think its called). we really enjoyed the ceremony
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| Posted 3/28/10 1:10 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
Posted by bklyngirl
Posted by Dani10
Posted by bklyngirl
dh and i are both jewish. we had a bar mitzvah i didn't have a bat mitzvah. we didn't get married at a temple and the rabbi had not problem marrying us. my sister's boyfriend is half jewish and half italian. his mom is jewish. at his bar mitzvah his dad wasn't aloud on the beama since he wasn't jewish. i think it would go by each temple and rabbi
Thanks.. that's what I am thinking.
And 25 years from now, there may be alot more rabbi's open to this than today. DH & I were married by a catholic priest & rabbi.
my cousin married someone whose not jewish. they got married at the hall by an interfaith minister(that's what i think its called). we really enjoyed the ceremony
I was actually at an interfaith ceremony performed by a married couple in which the rabbi was a Reform male rabbi and his wife was a minister (not exactly sure of her denomination and I would not try to guess.)
As an FYI - something I learned when I got married - neither a woman or a man needs to have had a bar or a bat mitzvah to get married in the Jewish faith. My guess is the mother being Jewish is the qualifier. I "think" the man needs to have had a bris, but I wouldn't write that in stone. It is my understanding that all a Jewish wedding needs to be considered Jewish wedding is a Chuppah open on all sides as that is how weddings were performed in biblical times. Even stepping on the glass is not necessary but many do it anyway.
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| Posted 3/28/10 1:21 PM |
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Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard
Member since 5/07 6710 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
So basically u are raising him catholic?
Confirmation is when you yourself CONFIRM that you agree to be a catholic .. Its not your parents anymore making this decision for you..
If your DS agrees to confirm that he is a Catholic then I guess its just like any other catholic marrying a Jewish person.. I have seen both a priest and rabbi marry ..
Message edited 3/28/2010 1:48:36 PM.
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| Posted 3/28/10 1:33 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: question re: jewish faith/marriage
A Bar or Bat Mitzvah does not make a person Jewish. If a convert chooses to do so, then so be it, but Im pretty sure it is not a requirement. I was a Jew before and would still be afterward even if I never had one. It is more like a confirmation though there is a confirmation ceremony typically after a young Jewish person finishes Hebrew High School. I never did this.
Message edited 3/28/2010 2:03:45 PM.
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| Posted 3/28/10 1:57 PM |
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