Relationships changing

Do you feel that Covid is effecting relationships. DH used to be so laid back, but now he has way less patience. Especially with the kids. I feel bad enough they have to wear the masks and he does these lectures. I get he's protecting the family, but we are all pretty good and being careful.

I also feel we used to be closer with neighbors, but everyone is taking things with Covid differently. I know a lot of it is the kids getting older and changing too. WE were super close with one family with 2 girls and now they are closer with another family we are also friends with, but they have girls too so they are all together and making plans. It's weird and hard to explain. DS is 11 now also so hangs out more with the boys in the neighborhood too and now not going anywhere like we used to we don't make as many plans.

It's funny how things change. My family takes it serious, but still living their life, eating out and shopping. DH's family doesn't go out, no plans, etc.
Sorry so long, just when I'm trying to make somewhat "normal" of the crazy situation things change.

Relationships changing

My relationship with DH has changed drastically. It could just be that I have changed so much during these last few months. I feel like btwn COVID and seeing people's true feelings on politics I have lost respect for some of those closest to me.

Relationships changing

Definitely. My husband and I do not agree on how to handle the whole Covid situation. I am a rule follower and will do what we are told too, masks, limit amount of people we socialize with, etc. DH though is completely against doing anything. He wants to stay home locked away. He wanted the kids to do remote and not go to school and he does not want anyone in our house or for us to go to anyone elses. He was very antisocial prior to Covid I just think this is his dream come true having a reason not to socialize in the world. Needless to say it is a lot of arguing but I am not having my kids locked away. They go to school, see my immediate family and socialize within the guidelines. I just leave DH home.

Re: Relationships changing

Re: Relationships changing

Re: Relationships changing

Not so much our relationship but my mental health is suffering badly the longer this goes on and I guess in turn that doesn't help our relationship because I am anxious and crying a lot.
And also, we aren't used to be home together 24/7 but with my office refusing to ever open I am stuck here and he is retired so we are on top of each other 24/7.
I was telling my boss I wish we could all chip in for a WeWork space or something.
Either that or I need to find a job at a small company that actually allows employees to come in to an office.
This can't go on.

Re: Relationships changing

Relationships changing

I am more cautious than DH is - he's going more places than I am.

My parents are super cautious. I don't fault them and honor their wishes but my mom commented that it was stupid to open schools for in person learning now and that they should've waited until January. That comment angered me so I told her if that was the case she'd need to come over and help her grandkids navigate remote learning.

We too aren't used to being home together all the time. It's frustrating too as he doesn't contribute as much to the kids remote education and he's off work when he's home and I am working and helping them. He is frustrated as he's running most of the errands but, he is off when he is home, I am working.

I did start going into the office one day this week and it was nice. It was so quiet and there was nothing else to do there other than work - no kids, no crap to pick up, laundry or dishes to do, etc. Just work and catching up with the handful of coworkers that were there.

I see my relationship has changed with friends as well - many are at different levels of comfort and I feel that one friend, who I was closest with, has pulled away to hang with a different group of friends. We had a small spat over the summer as she snuck in a non-member to our local pool (I am on the board and we spent a lot of time developing rules and planning to get the pool club open safely and it really hurt to have them disregarded so I said something to her and she was snotty about it). Another good friend is a nurse and she's being cautious still (more so than she was in the beginning when everyone was locked down to my surprise).

I feel that being home more has helped me become closer with my neighbors. We are all home and have been talking and socializing more which is nice. Usually we are friendly and such but we are all running in a million different directions.

Relationships changing

It has changed some relationships for the worse and others for the better, for me. My birthday was basically the first day that things were starting to shut down. I had plans to go out to dinner and see a band with a group of friends. But we were mostly uncomfortable doing that, so I just invited everyone over to my house (like 5 people) and ordered in. One person, who I was pretty close, with didn't come to my house because she "had to go out dancing". It hurt my feelings that she decided going out was more important than being together with our group to help celebrate my birthday. And she is constantly posting pics on FB with large groups of people close together (lots of selfies with a bunch of people), no masks - hey, I get it, you do you. BUT, she is a teacher and will post rants about how dangerous it is to expect teachers to be in a classroom with kids. So between all of that, I'm pretty much done with her friendship.

On the other hand, being home from work, I have gotten to know my neighbors a lot more. I have lived in my house for 2 years and used to just have a mostly "wave hi in the driveway" type of relationship with them. But being home, I see many of them a lot more and have gotten to know them more and now even socialize with some of them

Re: Relationships changing

Yes! So much! Thankfully DH and I are on the same page with COVID stuff, but our emotional and mental health in general is suffering. After almost 7 months of this, how can it not be? And our relationships with others are definitely changing.

This has been getting to even the strongest people. And I notice and feel that for a lot of people, they are withdrawing a bit. And I'm sure we giving off the same vibe.

Some of our core "people" are still mostly isolating. And that has been really hard for us to deal with. It's a challenge to keep the relationships as strong 7 months in when you haven't had a single new experience with them, or just spent an afternoon with them face to face. And then everyone's mood in general is lower than it was six months ago. It's a struggle.

But we're just hanging in there and riding the wave, because we're all in the same boat. Eventually this will be over and we can rebuild what we had.

Re: Relationships changing

Re: Relationships changing

Re: Relationships changing

the pandemic, combined with the current political stuff, had definitely changed a lot for me.

the whole thing has really shown me people's true colors. makes me sad.

Re: Relationships changing

Yes, it has. In terms of covid and activities we share similar views with DH. The problem is him WFH makes him try to control things I was in charge on and used to do at my own time. Or controlling when DS does homework or how long he spends on electronics, that before he wasn't aware of, but now he starts nagging DS and it creates tension between us. Before he only saw DS's good grades, but now he sees that he could study more, etc, and I don't agree with that since his grades are good.

With friends also. I don't even chat with some of them as often as I used to. I don't go outside too much and some friends keep inviting me for coffee or lunch or drinks and I don't feel comfortable because I see their pictures with no masks and no social distancing and I feel that I have to justify myself and I don't like that.

I used to be more social but now I don't crave social interaction that much. I might be depressed, I don't know, but my relationships have changed for sure.

Re: Relationships changing

Re: Relationships changing

Same on so many of these posts. DH & I working from home at the same time has always been a balancing act, but now with the added pressures of covid life, it's taxing.

I had a school-mom tell me I might be "doing it wrong" if I'm so worried about there being a 2 new covid cases in our school. We've had a playdate here & there and we have one after school activity - and she said maybe i'm doing it wrong. I didn't engage because I was saddened that out of all the things you should me, you should me motherhood wrong during covid. Smh.

Little things like that irk me 10 times more than the time before last March.

And the political rants. Wow. It reminds me of the way people in other countries talk about their dictator leaders. It does not sound or feel like the US I knew. Blindly following a reality tv celeb. Like that movie Idiocracy or when Biff reigns from back to the future. You see it, right?

I hooked us all up with a therapist for each family member, so that's helping.

I miss the old days of 7 months ago. But I'm adapting, or at least trying.

Re: Relationships changing

Message edited 10/8/2020 6:25:56 PM.

Re: Relationships changing

Thankfully, not for us. Life is pretty much back to normal for us except we have masks on a lot and I clean even more than i used to (if that’s even possible) our close friends and family are all on the same page with covid. They are as careful as they can be. The only thing we won’t do is eat inside a restaurant or go to a large gathering. Being 20+ people Inside and close, even with masks, we are not comfortable with. People accept the rsvp No with a gift sent. Whether they like it or not, I don’t know. But I feel like you have to respect people’s feelings. From those who still wear gloves daily and won’t see anyone and those who think it’s a bunch of BS. Me and my inner circle all agree and it’s nice being in our own bubble.

When it comes to the politics part, again, most of my inner circle are on the same page but there are those who are not. We respect each other’s opinions but definitely flame each other jokingly any chance we get lol thank god none of my friends are far right or far left. I couldn’t handle the excessive behavior of either side in my life. That would stress me the F out.

So no. Covid or politics haven’t messed with my relationships. Maybe because I’ve always kept my circle small? Plus with DH, I’d I can get through years of infertility, and then Covid mixed with his surgery and complications after the fact - we can get through anything.

Re: Relationships changing

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by FirstMate



Also, my BFF recently had a baby and refuses to let anyone meet the baby, including her parents (1st grandbaby BTW!). This is someone who was literally in the delivery room with me when I had my boys and she will not allow me to meet him. Only on Facetime. She works as an OR RN and has allowed all of her OR friends to meet the baby because they know proper precautions. I'm not a leper, I'm not sick and I know how to wash my hands and wear a mask, thank you. Its very hurtful.

Could you imagine that God forbid something happened to one of her parents and they passed away and never got to meet their first grandchild? I would think she'd be riddled with guilt forever after that...as she should be.
I think it's pretty disgusting if you ask me.
My parents would be so angry and hurt if I did that and would probably disown me completely. And I wouldn't blame them one bit
People have gone off the deep end. I'm sorry but they have

She said to me "I just don't want to have any regret." and I told her exactly what you said! Her in-laws are well into their 80's and this is their only son's only child and they aren't allowed to meet him. They don't drive and haven't left the freaking house since March but it's a risk. (Because the pediatrician said NOBODY should be around the baby for at least 3 months - other than health care worker co-workers?). I try to remember being a first time mom and try to be sympathetic. But then she facetimes me again, which she does minimally 4 times a day because she wants the baby to know me, and I get all salty again. She might drive by this weekend so my kids can see him. She said she'll let the kids approach the car. I told her if she wants to go see animals on safari she should do just that.

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by Mrs213

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by FirstMate



Also, my BFF recently had a baby and refuses to let anyone meet the baby, including her parents (1st grandbaby BTW!). This is someone who was literally in the delivery room with me when I had my boys and she will not allow me to meet him. Only on Facetime. She works as an OR RN and has allowed all of her OR friends to meet the baby because they know proper precautions. I'm not a leper, I'm not sick and I know how to wash my hands and wear a mask, thank you. Its very hurtful.

Could you imagine that God forbid something happened to one of her parents and they passed away and never got to meet their first grandchild? I would think she'd be riddled with guilt forever after that...as she should be.
I think it's pretty disgusting if you ask me.
My parents would be so angry and hurt if I did that and would probably disown me completely. And I wouldn't blame them one bit
People have gone off the deep end. I'm sorry but they have

She said to me "I just don't want to have any regret." and I told her exactly what you said! Her in-laws are well into their 80's and this is their only son's only child and they aren't allowed to meet him. They don't drive and haven't left the freaking house since March but it's a risk. (Because the pediatrician said NOBODY should be around the baby for at least 3 months - other than health care worker co-workers?). I try to remember being a first time mom and try to be sympathetic. But then she facetimes me again, which she does minimally 4 times a day because she wants the baby to know me, and I get all salty again. She might drive by this weekend so my kids can see him. She said she'll let the kids approach the car. I told her if she wants to go see animals on safari she should do just that.

That is BS. My niece is 3 months old and me and my parents have been to visit her and they took her to my parents twice. They were never told not to bring baby around everyone. What is the baby going to grow an invisible covid shield at 3 months? I gwt b66wing careful but you can visit with bbn precautions. I stayed 6 ft, wore a mask and didn't hold the baby but I still got to see her. don't know what that pediatrician is smoking

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by Mrs213

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by FirstMate



Also, my BFF recently had a baby and refuses to let anyone meet the baby, including her parents (1st grandbaby BTW!). This is someone who was literally in the delivery room with me when I had my boys and she will not allow me to meet him. Only on Facetime. She works as an OR RN and has allowed all of her OR friends to meet the baby because they know proper precautions. I'm not a leper, I'm not sick and I know how to wash my hands and wear a mask, thank you. Its very hurtful.

Could you imagine that God forbid something happened to one of her parents and they passed away and never got to meet their first grandchild? I would think she'd be riddled with guilt forever after that...as she should be.
I think it's pretty disgusting if you ask me.
My parents would be so angry and hurt if I did that and would probably disown me completely. And I wouldn't blame them one bit
People have gone off the deep end. I'm sorry but they have

She said to me "I just don't want to have any regret." and I told her exactly what you said! Her in-laws are well into their 80's and this is their only son's only child and they aren't allowed to meet him. They don't drive and haven't left the freaking house since March but it's a risk. (Because the pediatrician said NOBODY should be around the baby for at least 3 months - other than health care worker co-workers?). I try to remember being a first time mom and try to be sympathetic. But then she facetimes me again, which she does minimally 4 times a day because she wants the baby to know me, and I get all salty again. She might drive by this weekend so my kids can see him. She said she'll let the kids approach the car. I told her if she wants to go see animals on safari she should do just that.

That is BS. My niece is 3 months old and me and my parents have been to visit her and they took her to my parents twice. They were never told not to bring baby around everyone. What is the baby going to grow an invisible covid shield at 3 months? I gwt b66wing careful but you can visit with bbn precautions. I stayed 6 ft, wore a mask and didn't hold the baby but I still got to see her. don't know what that pediatrician is smoking

Message edited 10/9/2020 1:20:56 PM.

Relationships changing

DH takes his cues from me because of my profession so we are on the same page.

I think most of the people close to us are of a similar mindset. Wear masks, eat outdoors, don't go to huge gatherings. We know some people who take it to a level that is probably overkill from a scientific standpoint, but I respect their wishes.

I don't think we really interact with anyone who is flagrant about the virus or denies its seriousness, but that probably stems from the fact that our circle is an intelligent, well-educated bunch.

Re: Relationships changing

Re: Relationships changing