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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
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Religious Education
My son is 11 and currently in level 6 of religious education in our Catholic Church. We are not highly religious people. We believe in God, but don't feel as though we need to attend mass every single week in order for us to have a relationship with him. We try to instill moral values in our kids and one of the ways we do this is by sending them to religious education.
This is not, however, a debate about church or anything. My son also has ADHD and started middle school this year. He's had a bit of a hard time adjusting, but is doing well. He gets a LOT of homework, on average we do homework for 2 hours. Sometimes less, sometimes more. His religion class this year requires a lot of extra work. Besides a lot of community service hours, they are requiring the kids to complete these mass reflection sheets (go to mass, listed to sermon, fill out large sheet detailing what readings were done, what priest talked about) twice per month. And he has to do a long essay on a Saint.
It all seems to be too much for him. We are already behind on the mass reflections and got a letter from the church warning us that he will not advance to the next level if we do not hand them in timely. That really annoys me. So, I am tossing around pulling him out. I just wonder if that's sending him the wrong message. What would you do? His sister did finish, and has announced at 15 that she is atheist!
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Posted 11/5/14 9:01 AM  |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Religious Education
I would inform the parish of your situation. I would like to think they'd rather work with you and your son than have you pull your son out. My parish offers classes for students with additional needs. My son had a hard time one year in religion so we just did home school religion. Is this an option? IMO I would not pull him. Good luck with your decision.
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| Posted 11/5/14 9:13 AM |
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ny55angel
car seat tech & geek :-)
Member since 2/06 4346 total posts
Name:
P
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Religious Education
I agree. I would schedule a meeting and discuss this with them. See if they're willing to make an exception.
Message edited 11/5/2014 11:13:47 PM.
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| Posted 11/5/14 11:13 PM |
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Re: Religious Education
See, I have heard that Catholic schools are not really good with kids who have special needs.
This came directly from the principal and teachers when we attended open house night.
Especially in your son's situation....if you are not totally religious, and he could devote that extra time to school work or even Extracurriculars he enjoys, I personally would go that route.
I also have close family who attended Kellenberg who have told me that students who thrive there are very pro-school and learning, as well as those students who have the ability to do most work highly independently. I can totally see this because that is both of my SILs. My DH who is more my DS was in Honors classes but in public school. He required his parents to be on his tail more to do his work.
I was also advised that Catholic school should be a plan B if the public school system is failing the child for some reason.
ETA: we were also told DS has ADHD mixed type but no issues have come up in school. Yet. He seems to be thriving there if anything. Public school.
Message edited 11/6/2014 5:36:28 AM.
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| Posted 11/6/14 5:31 AM |
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curley999
Family!
Member since 5/05 2314 total posts
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Religious Education
I would definitely speak to the administrators running the program about exceptions for your son. I have seen many compromises made for all ages in our religious ed program for children with special needs.
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| Posted 11/6/14 10:22 AM |
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Re: Religious Education
At 11, I would sit with him and help him do this so he doesn't feel so overwhelmed as I also have a child with ADHD so I know how it can get.
We don't have to write an essay after going to mass but do have to do the Saint essay, which I also did with my older child.
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| Posted 11/6/14 11:17 AM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: Religious Education
What I would do is speak to the DRE and then work with my child to help him get the assignments done.
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| Posted 11/6/14 1:52 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Religious Education
I agree to speak with the director.
As for the mass reflections, my son really struggled with them. I tried to lead him towards coming up with answers & what it meant to him. Finally I told him that when I am searching for answers, I look within my heart. If I still can't find the answer, I google.
Not the ideal answer, but it does make Sundays easier & he's happier. Religion isn't supposed to make you miserable IMO.
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| Posted 11/7/14 9:25 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Religious Education
This is why we do communion and then pull them. We are not a religious family. If they decide to pursue it in the future, thats fine. But we do not force it beyond communion. Too much else going on.
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| Posted 11/8/14 10:42 PM |
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Re: Religious Education
Posted by MrsGmomof3
This is why we do communion and then pull them. We are not a religious family. If they decide to pursue it in the future, thats fine. But we do not force it beyond communion. Too much else going on.
The problem with that is if they want to get married in the Catholic church, they have to be confirmed. I would rather help them now while they are younger and have a less chaotic schedule then when they are older and working full time.
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| Posted 11/9/14 7:02 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: Religious Education
I agree with taling to the director of the program. She may be able to modify his assignments. Even though you're not especially religious, maybe you can go to the Saturday evening mass with him (it is usually shorter  ) and then you'll be able to help him with the assignments. And don't tell the director of the program that you're not very religious, and don't attend mass regularly. That will not help your case at all.
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| Posted 11/10/14 12:58 AM |
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MrsH
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/07 766 total posts
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Re: Religious Education
The problem with that is if they want to get married in the Catholic church, they have to be confirmed. I would rather help them now while they are younger and have a less chaotic schedule then when they are older and working full time.
My husband was baptized but did not receive the sacraments of communion or Confirmation and we were able to get married in the catholic church.
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| Posted 11/12/14 8:50 PM |
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Re: Religious Education
Posted by MrsH
The problem with that is if they want to get married in the Catholic church, they have to be confirmed. I would rather help them now while they are younger and have a less chaotic schedule then when they are older and working full time.
My husband was baptized but did not receive the sacraments of communion or Confirmation and we were able to get married in the catholic church.
Yup.
Money talks too. 
DH is Catholic but I am not and we were still able to have DS baptized. The priest also talked to me about "converting" and I think it is just a few classes and some money.
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| Posted 11/13/14 5:36 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Religious Education
If you want to keep him in the program, I would speak with the director about modifying the work. Our parish has a great special needs program, but I may pull my special needs DS out after communion. I am leaning towards it because I feel like when he's an adult, if he wants to get married in the church he can put the time in then to go through the classes he needs to. Looking at the big picture, there are things he would benefit more from right now than religion class for the next 6 years, IMO.
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| Posted 11/17/14 11:24 AM |
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Re: Religious Education
Posted by MrsH
The problem with that is if they want to get married in the Catholic church, they have to be confirmed. I would rather help them now while they are younger and have a less chaotic schedule then when they are older and working full time.
My husband was baptized but did not receive the sacraments of communion or Confirmation and we were able to get married in the catholic church.
I guess it goes from church to church. In mine, you can't.
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| Posted 11/17/14 1:52 PM |
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Re: Religious Education
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
Posted by MrsH
The problem with that is if they want to get married in the Catholic church, they have to be confirmed. I would rather help them now while they are younger and have a less chaotic schedule then when they are older and working full time.
My husband was baptized but did not receive the sacraments of communion or Confirmation and we were able to get married in the catholic church.
Yup.
Money talks too.
DH is Catholic but I am not and we were still able to have DS baptized. The priest also talked to me about "converting" and I think it is just a few classes and some money.
Very true about the money. My dh was able to get married in my church but we were parishioners for many, many years, hence, many many dollars lol.
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| Posted 11/17/14 1:53 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Religious Education
My parish has a special needs class. The kids still received saracaments but, the workload was much less. I covered it once. It was a class of students much like your DS
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| Posted 11/18/14 7:08 AM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Religious Education
Also, As as far as I know, most Catholic churches will marry people who are not confirmed. Even interfaith. The church doesn't require you marry a catholic. The priest does ask you to verbally confirm that you will raise the children catholic. I don't think the money talks things is fair to say. Unless, Did they actually ask you to pay more because someone wasn't confirmed? Because that is disgusting.
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| Posted 11/18/14 7:12 AM |
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Re: Religious Education
Posted by sfp0701
Also, As as far as I know, most Catholic churches will marry people who are not confirmed. Even interfaith. The church doesn't require you marry a catholic. The priest does ask you to verbally confirm that you will raise the children catholic. I don't think the money talks things is fair to say. Unless, Did they actually ask you to pay more because someone wasn't confirmed? Because that is disgusting.
No money talks mean you are a parishioner who they know how much you give on a regular basis.
I do know in my parish that you need to have all the sacraments now to get married in the church.
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| Posted 11/18/14 11:01 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Religious Education
Posted by sfp0701
Also, As as far as I know, most Catholic churches will marry people who are not confirmed. Even interfaith. The church doesn't require you marry a catholic. The priest does ask you to verbally confirm that you will raise the children catholic. I don't think the money talks things is fair to say. Unless, Did they actually ask you to pay more because someone wasn't confirmed? Because that is disgusting.
Technically, if you have been baptized but did not receive the other sacraments through Confirmation, you are not considered a "Catholic in good standing" and are not supposed to be approved for marriage until you go through religious instruction to receive those sacraments first. Many parishes do this as part of their RCIA program.
I think what another poster was implying was that some parishes (or pastors) may waive that requirement or do a very abbreviated version of the training if they make a donation or are well known in the parish.
Message edited 11/18/2014 12:03:32 PM.
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| Posted 11/18/14 12:02 PM |
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