Sibling question - 15 months apart/c-section recovery planning

My kid's will be less than 15 months apart when #2 is born. Is there anything I should be doing for DD? I didn't think a sibling class was necessary as she has no clue about what is going on or that a baby is coming. She seems to really like other kids at daycare and is very nurturing. I was 4 years older than my younger sib and my parent's handled us HORRIBLY. My DH is 15 months older than his brother and he said he doesn't remember a time without him and that there's nothing we can really do to prepare her. Do other's agree? I'm also having a c-section so I'm concerned the "real problems" will start after I come home and I can't pick DD up, but can hold the new baby. I definitely won't be able to hold both. Fortunately she's more of a "daddy's girl" and if given a choice would prefer DH to me... however, he'd get NO salary if he took the FMLA paternity leave and I will only get a small percent of my salary for the first 6 weeks of my maternity leave... things are too tight for both of us to not have income so it will be me alone with both kids a lot. I have no family or friends who can help so it's no the ideal situation, but was wondering how other's have dealt with these or similar issues.... especially any sibling prep for such close age differences.

Re: Sibling question - 15 months apart/c-section recovery planning

Are you able to get either a mothers helper or a baby nurse in for the first week or two after you deliver? Alternatively, do family or friends live close by that could lend a hand for the first week or two? Can you have meals delivered or prepared in advance?

What I have read is:
1. When DC visits you in the hospital don't hold the new baby, have the first DC come to you in your bed and then have someone bring the new baby to both of you to "welcome into the family."
2. Have a gift from each DC so that your first child can give a gift to the new baby, but also have a gift from the new baby to your first child.
3. A lot of attention will be paid to the new baby, so make sure to try to carve out a couple of minutes with the first baby - even snuggled next to you so that the first child does not feel replaced.
4. When grandparents/friends come visit, make sure they acknowledge the first baby so they don't feel like they are being replaced by the second baby.
HTH

Re: Sibling question - 15 months apart/c-section recovery planning

At 15 months there isn't a whole lot you can do to explain this to your DD

When you come home from the hospital I would try to have her next to you during feedings. Since you won't be able to lift her I would try sitting on the floor alot. This is also my fear - not being able to pick up my son when he needs me.

Do you have any help for the first couple of weeks at all?

ETA: I believe I have read that if both kids are crying go to the older one since they know what's going on.

Message edited 6/5/2009 1:15:06 PM.

Re: Sibling question - 15 months apart/c-section recovery planning

I don't have any advice,but am glad you posted this since I will be in the same boat have 2 that are 15 mos apart and I will most likely be having a c-section

Re: Sibling question - 15 months apart/c-section recovery planning

Hi! I don't have much advice since I haven't btdt and mine will be over 2 yrs apart but, I wanted to let you know my DS was 16 mos when his first cousin was born. Now, its different b/c his cousin doesn't live with us but, it was just shocking to me the level of jealousy he had - especially at that young age I was surprised. He got extremely upset when anyone he loved (grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles) held the new baby and DH and I couldn't hold the baby at all or he would throw a full on screaming tantrum. The most shocking part about this is that he wasn't ever a jealous kid before this. I have friends with children his age and if I show attention to them, hold them etc he never (and still doesn't) have a problem with the. It was just someone in "his territory" I think.

Anyway, I guess my point is every kid is different but, even at that age they recognize what is going on and you probably need to prepare DD b/f tha baby comes

Re: Sibling question - 15 months apart/c-section recovery planning

Hello, my stepdaughter and my son are exactly 15 months apart. She lived with us for most of my pregnancy and the first year and a half of my son's life...and let's just say she isn't exactly the best behaved child. I was very stressed when my son was born because I was terrified at how I was going to take care of "2 under 2" and it was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be.

As long as you have DC on some sort of schedule, just try to incorporate baby#2 into the same schedule in any way that you possibly can. Try to get them to nap around the same time even if its just for a little while each day so you have 15 minutes to yourself to shower, etc.

Reese doesn't even remember Vincent not being around. They are 3.5 and 2 now and they are absolute best friends. You just have to remember that "whatever works" for you...works for you. Don't let other people stress you out or criticize you. I honestly had to use the TV a lot as a distraction. Find a show that your DC will actually sit through and use it to your advantage. Baby Einstein dvd's helped a lot because the baby would get mesmorized and Reese would relax and watch for a few minutes and I was able to either feed the baby, put away laundry, wash a dish, go to the bathroom...lol. You get the picture. It is hard in the very beginning, but you will find a routine and it will be fine. Feel free to FM anytime for questions/advice/venting!!!

Re: Sibling question - 15 months apart/c-section recovery planning

My DS's are 22 months apart

I really didnt do much prep work aside from "baby is in mommy's belly"

When DS came home I made sure DS#1 got the most attention and made sure he "helped" me..

Re: Sibling question - 15 months apart/c-section recovery planning