Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I had an emergency C when baby's heart rate dropped with each contraction, plus i wasn't dilating well and we had to move fast. Water had broken already as well...I had my heart set on a vaginal birth and I know I should have mentally prepped for having one just "in case" but I didn't, and was really sad and have felt on and off like I didn't "do" anything. Of course, I know the most important thing was that she was born safe and sound and healthy. I even feel badly for asking this, but did other section mommies, especially those who were also unscheduled, feel sad? Maybe also b/c I teach yoga and everyone was telling me what a "perfect" birth I was going to have; I felt so ready and excited for the whole thing. I don't know. I feel a sense of sadness at times, like I let myself or others down. Ridiculous, I know. Please no flames. Sad I will never have that experience. Wouldn't try for a vbac. My mother was so upset to hear me say this; my sister was born with a disability (and has done amazing!) but my mom had that "perfect" vaginal birth and said to me, "I had that experience, ok--and my daughter was NOT born healthy, so you need to stop. What does it matter how she was born?" She is totally right. However, I think we're entitled to feel a bit of sadness about the experience not going the way you imagined.

Message edited 1/24/2011 4:30:51 PM.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I had 2 "perfect" vaginal births and then a crash c-section. I was horribly depressed after, thinking that maybe it wasn't necessary, maybe the doctor rushed it, maybe if I had a midwife I wouldn't have ended up with a csection, a lot of what ifs. It took me a really long time to come to terms with the fact that this was the birth I had... it might not be the birth I wanted, but I was OK, baby was OK, and at the end of the day that's all that matters.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I could have wrote this word for word.. (well besides the teaching yoga part!). I had the same thing happen to me. My DS's heart rate kept dropping and I had an emergency C section. I was seriously depressed afterwards.. This sounds horrible, but I felt very detached from him at first.. my Dr. said it was completely normal. That went away really fast, however I still (7 weeks later) am upset about the C section but I realize now things can't always go as planned & it was necessary to get him here safe & sound. I still cry when I see a picture of us in the hospital bc it just reminds me of how sad I was about the c section. I hope it goes away with time. However, I would do it a million more times for him if I had to.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I didn't want to have a c-section but had an emergency one too...

Lesson learned for me is that, you can't predict what will happen so while something sounds good in your head, be flexible and let it go.....

I tell my friends who are pregnant to not get set in any way yet because you don't know what will happen...

Wish for the best, prepare for the worst....

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

and isn't it amazing how different each birth story and labor is? my best friend went into labor a week later, dilated like clockwork and had her baby 4 hours later. i was so proud of her, and yet a bit jealous it didn't happen for me...i feel bad even admitting that. and a few people said to me they were "surprised" to hear I had a c, which made me feel worse.

Message edited 1/24/2011 4:17:17 PM.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I feel like that at times. As much as I know a V-birth would not have been pleasant, I feel like I missed out on that experience. I feel like so much was different. DS had some issues when he born was bso I never got that here is your son, hold your son, take a picture, etc..

It is what it is and Im coming to terms with it. I dont think I even have the option to have a vbac since I developed Cholestasis I most likely will have to have my next baby early again and I dont think they will induce for a vbac.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I didn't want a c-section and had a scheduled one with my twins. I never went into labor or anything, I have no idea what that feels like. I totally feel like I was cheated out of something. I know a lot of moms think this is crazy, but I really do feel sad about it sometimes. I have two amazing, healthy children, and am incredibly blessed, but I really feel like I missed out on something with their birth. I will be trying for a VBAC this time.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

You are absolutely entitled to feel emotional about this. I was so disappointed, had a birth plan and didn't want any drugs and held out for 30 hours before things turned. I watched movies, talked to people read books but ended up having an emergency csection. I cried the next day when I saw my plan and everytime I thought about it I would tear up. I am so grateful for my son and that he was healthy but it was a major disappointment so I can relate.

I had two goals, a natural birth and nursing. Once the natural birth didn't work out I was so determined to nurse and am still successfully nursing (my son it 17 months). I know this has nothing to do with having the c-section but being able to furfull this goal always makes me feel better about not having a natural birth!



Birth Story (from what you wrote seems similar to yours!)

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I didn't have an emergency one but it definatley wasn't planned. The day my water broke –well, it broke at 3 AM but I had gone in 12 hours earlier for my 38-38 week appt they told me DS was breech (could have looked sooner, but they didn’t.) I was scheduled for a version to turn the baby the following week but my water broke so they said I pretty much had to have a c-section.

I went right to the hospital and they set it for 8:00 so I had a good amount of time to think about it and how it was not what I planned. I had wanted to try natural.

Then, just before they wheeled me in, the anesthesiologist told me he was giving me general (due to a medical condition he didn’t want to give me a spinal block – though he could have given me an epidural, but whatever) so I wouldn’t even be awake for it and DH couldn’t be there. I was CRUSHED. It was the complete opposite of what I wanted.

After DS was born I did have a lot of times where I just felt cheated. I mean, of course I was and am happy that my boy was healthy and that was what really matters, but still, I feel wistful when I think of how it all went down.

I guess on the plus side I did get to feel a little labor, but not getting to see my baby for hours after and really not being able to enjoy him for a while, and the fact that I feel like that was part of why I had trouble BF really does make me sad sometimes.

You are totally entitled to feel sad -as long as you don't dwell on it to the point of not being able to enjoy your daughter, I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

Glad to know I'm not alone! And no, it doesn't in any way affect my ability to enjoy her. It was love at first sight, regardless of how she arrived. Just wishing I had that whole experience.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

the first few weeks my emotions got me for no reason - so this is definitely worthy of being emotional.


I had never thought that I would have a c/s. I didn't prepare for it at all!


I do sometimes feel like I missed out on something, but you will have a bond with the women who have had c/s.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

still depressed over it, 3 years later.

couldn't hold my son while my DH could.

my first picture of me with him is pathetic. I'm half out of it, trying to reach for him.

I am so bitter over it....just the first moment of seeing him and not being able to hold him.

.....and then I didn't see him for hours.

This is why I am trying so hard for a VBAC this time.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

had 3 sections and I dont feel like i missed a thing......like u said I have 3 healthy children and it doesnt matter to me how they got here....1st section was emergency

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I had an emergency c section as well but with twins I pretty much knew a c section was in the future. I had a great recovery from the c section.

My depression comes from not having a great pregnancy. I was on bedrest and was a basket case from week 21 until I delivered. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I totally understand what your saying. I feel sad too. I had an emergency section at 32 wks. I remind myself w/o it dd and I would both be dead. I wanted a natural birth no meds etc. I made a plan and god laughed. I still feel sad 9 months later more b/c I really can't have a vbac. I am getting over what happened a little at a time. I feel like I need to just let it go. I just hope next time to carry the baby to term. FM me if you need to talk.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I totally understand what you are saying.

But having a c-section does not make you any less of a mother. I think that's the most important thing to remind ourselves of. We gave birth to those children.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I had an unscheduled C-section when my DS was 11 days late and I was not at all upset. I was relieved that I have a healthy and perfect little boy!

My pregnancy was tough. I had really bad sciatica from 14 weeks on and at 34 weeks I got PUPPPS which was horribel and lasted about a month. I was incredibly swollen and uncomfortable. I was induced at 3 days late where I was started on cervidil. I was giving two doses and after being ni the hospital overnght and no progress I tolld my OB that i wante to go home because i did not want a c--section. He agreed and let me wait. At 10 days late I was induced again. Again cervidil and no progress. I was then started on pitocin for a few hours and no progress. I wasn't even feeling any contractions. The OB broke my water and I then started getting contractions but after 3 hours I had no progress. I was not dialating past 3 cm and i was only 50% effaced. At that point I just wanted the baby to be out and healthy. A vaginal birth just was not meant to be for me, no matter how much I wanted it. I would not change a thing though - because the end goal was the same- my perffect little boy! I am glad I waited though because i think I would have been upset if I hd a c--section at 3 days late. I would have always had "what if" in my thoughts.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I had planned on going for a vag birth. Then i got closer and got freaked out. Then i was late and was "like fort knox" down there. Then he was measured at 9.5 lbs. i mean, i was going to tey amd push that out all to be told i needed a cs anyway. Kwim, why damage two places? So, while i didnt technically give birth, i gave life. Doesnt matter to me how he got here, he got here safe and healthy. Thats all that matters. If we have another, im going right for a cs. I had an awesome experience and dont want to even try for a vbac.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I could've written your OP. I was the natural birth guru. I had a midwife and read every book under the sun. I was fine during labor - it hurt, but I was more or less prepared for it and was able to cope without meds, thankyouverymuch.

But the baby refused to turn. We tried EVERYTHING under the sun to get her to shift... but no dice. My labor stalled. When her heartrate dropped, I was rushed into the OR and knocked out. I was crying on the table. And I woke up alone.

It ticks me off when people say, "The only thing that matters is a healthy baby." Well, obviously her health and safety come first. But am I a bad person because I wanted to see my child born? Am I wrong to be heartbroken because I didn't see her for the first five hours of her life? I don't think so. I completely admit to envying families with good v-birth stories.

EBFing has been healing. We had some supply and latch issues (in part thanks to the transfusion and IV I needed). The thought of having to supplement made me feel like yet another part of me was defunct. So I fought through them with the help of an LC, and we're good now. But I wonder if I'll ever think about DD's birth and not cry a little.

Message edited 1/25/2011 8:19:20 AM.

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I had a crash c-section as well. Had to get the baby out ASAP. At first I was sad that I missed the whole "birthing" experience and I had to wake up first to find out I just had a boy. I got over it pretty fast. Once I started recovering more and was enjoying the baby all that mattered to me was that he was healthy.

This time I will probably have a scheduled c-section and I'm fine with it. I hear it's a different situation and at least I'll be awake. I never had a birth plan. As long as the baby is out and healthy that's all that matters, but I do understand how you feel. I'm fine without pushing a baby out. LOL

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

You are not alone.. we all know it had to be done for the health of our babies but it still leaves me feeling... a little ..."less than"...kwim? I feel like my body failed me and sad that I wont feel the full on birth experience. I didn't even have to push..

I had to be induced...six days late..no dialation at all... after 24 hours I was only at 2cm dialation and my cervix was swelling...csection...they found out the DS was sunnyside up and 8lbs 14 oz so they said I probably wouldn't have been able to push him out anyway add that to my small pelvis and all signs pointed to csection anyway. Not even a candidate for a vbac. But it is what it is...people will forget how you delivered and concentrate on the baby as time goes by....people will stop asking about the labor...

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

You are def not alone in this. I actually had twins and my WHOLE pregnancy wasnt what I imagined and even though I am ecstatic that they are here, happy and healthy, I cant help but think back and feel a little sad at how the whole thing went (especially because I am 99.9% sure that will be my only pregnancy.)

To make a long story very short, I was told at about 10 weeks that my pregnancy was extremely risky and that my boys only had between a 40-50% chance of making it. I was put on bedrest 2 weeks later, admitted to the hospital at 24 weeks and stayed until I delivered at about 32 weeks by way of emergency c-section. So basically I spend my whole 7 months worrying and googling and emotionally disconnected from the entire experience. I didnt have my "shower" until the boys were born and I just never got to have any of normal pregnancy experience. In fact, there is only maybe 2 picture of me pregnant because I refused to let people take them just in case things didnt turn out well. But like you said, I could not be happier that my two little boys fought the odds and made it here safely. I would absolutely do it all again if it had the same results!

Re: Since I have a little time today and am asking various questions, C section moms:

I totally hear what you are saying.
I was prepared for a C, just in case, however, the stubborn me was like 'I am going to be the first to have a V birth"...Didn't happen.
Deep down, I just had a feeling I'd have a C.
My mom had 3 C sections.
My sister had a C Section.
I didn't want to be added to the list,, but, I was.

My mom had me via C section..my heart rate dropped with contractions.

My sister didn't get past 5cms.
For me, my water broke and I didn't get past 2 (after cervadil and pitocin).

I wanted to experience the V birth so badly!
My mom said just what yours (lana) did..."As long as the baby is healthy, who cares how the baby comes out". It's so true.

My SIL had my nephew 6 months later. Contractions started around 3AM and my nephew was born at noon! I was soooo happy for her and again like you (Lana), won't lie, had a tad bit of jealousy!
She's expecting again in April and I keep teasing her telling her this one's going to come flying out! LOL.
I am soooo happy for her!