| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 3 |
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Small children and church
So, we were in church on Sunday - not the family mass.
Right before the homily, a kid, had to be about three years old or less starts screaming.
Usually, the priests just proceed with the mass and it's up to the parents to take the kid outside.
In this case though, the priest took the pulpit and stood there and waited for the mother to take the kid outside.
If he had not done this, and basically made all eyes be on the situation, she might not have taken the child out.
Thoughts on this?
If a child is misbehaving in church, should the parents feel obligated to take the kid outside.
Or
should the rest of the church understand that this how kids are and the parents should not have to miss the mass because of it.
My thing is, we don't have kids yet. But we know that people go to church to get a message, pray and have quiet reflection. They have a crying room, and a mass specifically for families with small children. So screaming kids while the parents just sit there is a huge pet peeve for me.
But, the priest told a story at another mass of a woman who pulled him aside outside of church in tears. She had a child who was screaming during the mass and she did not want to miss the sermon so she let him carry on. People around her started to gve her looks and made her feel uncomfortable so she felt "forced" to leave and "unwelcome"
|
Posted 3/20/07 3:27 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
|
Re: Small children and church
I think the parent should take a misbehaving and/or loud child out of mass immediately.
I don't take DS to mass very often, b/c he doesn't understand and he can get loud (singing, talking, etc.). I sit near the back and quickly grab him up and leave before it's disruptive. Usually I leave him home with DH.
Our church doesn't have a crying room, otherwise I'd try it. But I find those rooms distracting. It's more about babysitting than sitting and listening to mass. IMO.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:33 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Small children and church
Without question, you take your child outside.
One hour is a very long time to expect a child under 3 years old to behave. There is nothing the priest is going to say that you're going to hell because you missed it. If the sermon is vitally important to you, make an appointment with the priest to discuss it during the week. I'm sure he'd be thrilled that someone was so interested in his sermon.
eta. I spoke to our priest because I was tired of bringing my 2 year old to mass & having him shout-whispered & threatened by DH. Our priest told me that the 9:30 mass was the perfect mass because everyone brings their children & they aren't all angels.
Message edited 3/20/2007 3:36:48 PM.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:35 PM |
| |
|
KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Thoughts on this?
If a child is misbehaving in church, should the parents feel obligated to take the kid outside.
YES! There is a reason that there are designated family masses. The church I grew up in had a glass-enclosed room inside the church that had speakers so who ever was inside can still here the mass.
I don't have children either, but I am very sympathetic to those that do, especially a screaming child (my sister cried from birth to age 12... literally) and I understand that the parent shouldn't have to miss what is going on in the church but should everyone else around them miss out because they are so distracted by a screaming child?
I feel bad that that mother felt ostracized, but remove your child and you won't get the nasty looks. It's common courtesy .. you wouldn't let your child scream and yell at the movies right?
edited for spelling...
Message edited 3/20/2007 3:38:19 PM.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:36 PM |
| |
|
Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by nrthshgrl
Without question, you take your child outside.
One hour is a very long time to expect a child under 3 years old to behave. There is nothing the priest is going to say that you're going to hell because you missed it. If the sermon is vitally important to you, make an appointment with the priest to discuss it during the week. I'm sure he'd be thrilled that someone was so interested in his sermon.
ITA
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:38 PM |
| |
|
JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Small children and church
I don't know. I am really divided on this. My church doesn't really have a family mass anyumore per se, and neither do we have a room where parents can go with kids and still hear the mass. I think it's important to bring small children into church so they get used to it, etc etc. I went to church from a very young age, but I also think there's a line. If it's an infant crying intermittently I cna handle it, but a 3 year old with a temper tanrum I think the mom needs to take the baby outside, that's just disruptive, and what's more, unlike the infant who will cry and you can't always predict it, I think (and moms cna correct me if I'm wrong) parents have some control over a toddler, and can teach the toddler behavior in church and be able to predict if your toddler can't handle a full mass. So I will tolerate an infant (which you have no control over), but not a toddler or older child.
When we were kids we sat in church and we were quiet, and we didn't have video games either, and I don't think I ever used the bathroom in church, it's one hour, and these kids are up and down running all over the church to go to the bathroom. I think it's all about discipline..not that that was your original question
Message edited 3/20/2007 3:40:54 PM.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:40 PM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Small children and church
exactly how we feel
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:40 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by CoopersMom01
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Thoughts on this?
If a child is misbehaving in church, should the parents feel obligated to take the kid outside.
YES! There is a reason that there are designated family masses. The church I grew up in had a glass-enclosed room inside the church that had speakers so who ever was inside can still here the mass.
We don't have this option at my church, so what would you do then?
I TRY my best to quiet the babies. They were Christened and have every right to be there as much as any other Catholic.
During one of my priest's homilies he said that instead of giving mothers with children dirty looks - try to help them out, and be more understanding. This was pre-children and I've never forgotten that.
ETA: If DDs were crying uncontrollably, I would take them outside.
Message edited 3/20/2007 3:45:59 PM.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:40 PM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by JenniferEver
I don't know. I am really divided on this. My church doesn't really have a family mass anyumore per se, and neither do we have a room where parents can go with kids and still hear the mass. I think it's important to bring small children into church so they get used to it, etc etc. I went to church from a very young age, but I also think there's a line. If it's an infant crying intermittently I cna handle it, but a 3 year old with a temper tanrum I think the mom needs to take the baby outside, that's just disruptive, and what's more, unlike the infant who will cry and you can't always predict it, I think (and moms cna correct me if I'm wrong) parents have some control over a toddler, and can teach the toddler behavior in church and be able to predict if your toddler can't handle a full mass. So I will tolerate an infant (which you have no control over), but not a toddler or older child.
When we were kids we sat in church and we were quiet, and we didn't have video games either, and I don't think I ever used the bathroom in church, it's one hour, and these kids are up and down running all over the church to go to the bathroom. I think it's all about discipline..not that that was your original question
see, here's the the thing
i can tolerate off and on moaning and crying
that's fine
but if it's a consistent high-pitched scream, which is what sunday was, then i agree that you need to go outside
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:43 PM |
| |
|
JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by JenniferEver
I don't know. I am really divided on this. My church doesn't really have a family mass anyumore per se, and neither do we have a room where parents can go with kids and still hear the mass. I think it's important to bring small children into church so they get used to it, etc etc. I went to church from a very young age, but I also think there's a line. If it's an infant crying intermittently I cna handle it, but a 3 year old with a temper tanrum I think the mom needs to take the baby outside, that's just disruptive, and what's more, unlike the infant who will cry and you can't always predict it, I think (and moms cna correct me if I'm wrong) parents have some control over a toddler, and can teach the toddler behavior in church and be able to predict if your toddler can't handle a full mass. So I will tolerate an infant (which you have no control over), but not a toddler or older child.
When we were kids we sat in church and we were quiet, and we didn't have video games either, and I don't think I ever used the bathroom in church, it's one hour, and these kids are up and down running all over the church to go to the bathroom. I think it's all about discipline..not that that was your original question
see, here's the the thing
i can tolerate off and on moaning and crying
that's fine
but if it's a consistent high-pitched scream, which is what sunday was, then i agree that you need to go outside
Exactly. I think there's a difference between a baby crying intermmtitently and a full on temper tantrum, and yes, this does apply to infants as well.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:47 PM |
| |
|
suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Small children and church
Without a doubt- remove the child immediately.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:48 PM |
| |
|
KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by FireIslandLove
Posted by CoopersMom01
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Thoughts on this?
If a child is misbehaving in church, should the parents feel obligated to take the kid outside.
YES! There is a reason that there are designated family masses. The church I grew up in had a glass-enclosed room inside the church that had speakers so who ever was inside can still here the mass.
We don't have this option at my church, so what would you do then?
I TRY my best to quiet the babies. They were Christened and have every right to be there as much as any other Catholic.
During one of my priest's homilies he said that instead of giving mothers with children dirty looks - try to help them out, and be more understanding. This was pre-children and I've never forgotten that.
I completely agree that they have every right to be there. I think that's an excellent suggestion that the priest made, but some people get so offended when others (esp. non-family members) step in and try to help.
I can't say what I would do, like I said, I don't have children, but I think, rather than get the evil eye from other parishioners , I would leave. I would hate to ruin someone's church experience with my child screaming wildly in the background... JMO, perhaps it will change once I have children.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:48 PM |
| |
|
steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Small children and church
I do think if your child is acting up that you should take them out. DS is almost 2 and we've only had to take him out 2 or 3 times. He wasn't even really making noise, we just saw how restless he was and took him out in anticipation of crying or a tantrum. Luckily our basement has a TV and audio, so you won't miss the service. People always tell us how good he is during our 2 hr service.
At the same, I believe that church is something that a family should do together and parents should not have to avoid services bc they have kids. I've actually never heard of masses or services designated specifically for families.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:49 PM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by JenniferEver
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by JenniferEver
I don't know. I am really divided on this. My church doesn't really have a family mass anyumore per se, and neither do we have a room where parents can go with kids and still hear the mass. I think it's important to bring small children into church so they get used to it, etc etc. I went to church from a very young age, but I also think there's a line. If it's an infant crying intermittently I cna handle it, but a 3 year old with a temper tanrum I think the mom needs to take the baby outside, that's just disruptive, and what's more, unlike the infant who will cry and you can't always predict it, I think (and moms cna correct me if I'm wrong) parents have some control over a toddler, and can teach the toddler behavior in church and be able to predict if your toddler can't handle a full mass. So I will tolerate an infant (which you have no control over), but not a toddler or older child.
When we were kids we sat in church and we were quiet, and we didn't have video games either, and I don't think I ever used the bathroom in church, it's one hour, and these kids are up and down running all over the church to go to the bathroom. I think it's all about discipline..not that that was your original question
see, here's the the thing
i can tolerate off and on moaning and crying
that's fine
but if it's a consistent high-pitched scream, which is what sunday was, then i agree that you need to go outside
Exactly. I think there's a difference between a baby crying intermmtitently and a full on temper tantrum, and yes, this does apply to infants as well.
we AGREE on something! 
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:50 PM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by steph4777
I do think if your child is acting up that you should take them out. DS is almost 2 and we've only had to take him out 2 or 3 times. He wasn't even really making noise, we just saw how restless he was and took him out in anticipation of crying or a tantrum. Luckily our basement has a TV and audio, so you won't miss the service. People always tell us how good he is during our 2 hr service.
At the same, I believe that church is something that a family should do together and parents should not have to avoid services bc they have kids. I've actually never heard of masses or services designated specifically for families.
yeah, it's cute
we've gone
it's at 9:45
and the priest will have the kids come up to the altar and sit around and directs the homily to them
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:52 PM |
| |
|
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: Small children and church
I think a crying child/baby should be removed from ANY situation as to not interupt anyone else...especially in a church situation.
Anything the parent misses can be discussed with the priest later on...as Im sure it doesnt happen at EVERY mass, theres times you have to miss what's going on to be considerate of others.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:52 PM |
| |
|
dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
But, the priest told a story at another mass of a woman who pulled him aside outside of church in tears. She had a child who was screaming during the mass and she did not want to miss the sermon so she let him carry on. People around her started to gve her looks and made her feel uncomfortable so she felt "forced" to leave and "unwelcome"
My problem with this story is that she was upset about how she was being treated, but did not think about how disruptive her child was being.
I think it's great that people bring their children to church, and I can tolerate a lot of crying and talking, generally. If a child is screaming so loudly that the priest is actually distracted from what he is doing, the child should be taken out.
We had family friends who brought their children every week, and every week, their son had to be taken out during the homily. The dad would take him out for a while, and then come back for communion. This happened for a few years, when he was under 5 years old, and we actually would joke about him leaving for a while. But as the boy grew older, his behavior improved 1000% and he sat quietly with his sisters through the whole mass. I think these parents handled it the right way. They kept their family ritual of going to mass with a minimum of disturbance to other people.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:53 PM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Small children and church
IMO, when a kid starts screaming, whether its in a church, restaurant, or any enclosed place, the kid should be taken outside.
I think it is very rude for parents to treat their kids like they're home and just ignore the screaming kid and subject everyone in an enclosed place to it.
this is probably not a popular opinion, but it's mine.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 3:58 PM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
IMO, when a kid starts screaming, whether its in a church, restaurant, or any enclosed place, the kid should be taken outside.
I think it is very rude for parents to treat their kids like they're home and just ignore the screaming kid and subject everyone in an enclosed place to it.
this is probably not a popular opinion, but it's mine.
from this thread, it MIGHT be the popular opinion
|
| Posted 3/20/07 4:00 PM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
IMO, when a kid starts screaming, whether its in a church, restaurant, or any enclosed place, the kid should be taken outside.
I think it is very rude for parents to treat their kids like they're home and just ignore the screaming kid and subject everyone in an enclosed place to it.
this is probably not a popular opinion, but it's mine.
from this thread, it MIGHT be the popular opinion
based on my experiences with so many parents who ignore their screaming kids, I figured it would be an unpopular opinion. glad to see it is not on here
|
| Posted 3/20/07 4:01 PM |
| |
|
Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Small children and church
Parents who bring small children to church need to be considerate to the other people who are attending. If a child talks, babbles, sings or even cries, I, really, don't see any problem. However, a screaming child is a whole other situation. That child needs to be removed immediately. I don't see how any parent can listen attentively to a homily while their child is screaming and carrying on. After all, if they were at the movies or in a theatre setting it would not be tolerated. Why should Mass be any different? Seems like common sense to me.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 4:02 PM |
| |
|
Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by JenniferEver
unlike the infant who will cry and you can't always predict it, I think (and moms cna correct me if I'm wrong) parents have some control over a toddler, and can teach the toddler behavior in church and be able to predict if your toddler can't handle a full mass.
This made me laugh!!!
When a toddler gets a tantrum going sometimes time is the only thing that can stop it.
I would remove my child from church if they did this.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 4:02 PM |
| |
|
steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by steph4777
I do think if your child is acting up that you should take them out. DS is almost 2 and we've only had to take him out 2 or 3 times. He wasn't even really making noise, we just saw how restless he was and took him out in anticipation of crying or a tantrum. Luckily our basement has a TV and audio, so you won't miss the service. People always tell us how good he is during our 2 hr service.
At the same, I believe that church is something that a family should do together and parents should not have to avoid services bc they have kids. I've actually never heard of masses or services designated specifically for families.
yeah, it's cute
we've gone
it's at 9:45
and the priest will have the kids come up to the altar and sit around and directs the homily to them
OK... we have something called Children's Moment at the beginning of the service before the Gospel reading. They bring all the kids up to the altar and have a little lesson for them based on the Gospel/sermon. This is at an United Methodist Church.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 4:06 PM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by steph4777
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by steph4777
I do think if your child is acting up that you should take them out. DS is almost 2 and we've only had to take him out 2 or 3 times. He wasn't even really making noise, we just saw how restless he was and took him out in anticipation of crying or a tantrum. Luckily our basement has a TV and audio, so you won't miss the service. People always tell us how good he is during our 2 hr service.
At the same, I believe that church is something that a family should do together and parents should not have to avoid services bc they have kids. I've actually never heard of masses or services designated specifically for families.
yeah, it's cute
we've gone
it's at 9:45
and the priest will have the kids come up to the altar and sit around and directs the homily to them
OK... we have something called Children's Moment at the beginning of the service before the Gospel reading. They bring all the kids up to the altar and have a little lesson for them based on the Gospel/sermon. This is at an United Methodist Church.
that's at every mass?
|
| Posted 3/20/07 4:08 PM |
| |
|
steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Small children and church
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
IMO, when a kid starts screaming, whether its in a church, restaurant, or any enclosed place, the kid should be taken outside.
I think it is very rude for parents to treat their kids like they're home and just ignore the screaming kid and subject everyone in an enclosed place to it.
this is probably not a popular opinion, but it's mine.
I have a child and totally agree with you. There are many times in public when I just want to shake another mother for letting their kid carry on.
|
| Posted 3/20/07 4:08 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 3 |
