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d-h2008
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 2490 total posts
Name:
D EDD: 8/29/2010
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SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Ok, so I posted a while ago about my mothers mentality when it comes to showers, basically:
"Why would you go spend $1000 on a shower when you could take that $1000 and go buy the baby stuff yourself." Its all a math game to her, she doesnt get it. She did the same thing before my wedding, I ended up NOT having a bridal shower.. instead she cut my a check and I went to Ikea alone and picked out the basics for my apt. It was a sad sad day.
So now, Ive decided to plan this baby shower on my own, if my mother decides to help thats great BUT im not counting on it.
My due date is August 12th. My first cousin is due June 19th. Me and her (+her whole fam, my moms side) had a falling out around my wedding time, which is a LONG story, but basically we dont talk anymore, but we have to be cordial for my moms sake... a.k.a Im going to her shower next week.
To me, the ideal time to have my shower would be around Mid June- about 32 weeks. But if you look at the calendar, June 12th is a week before my cousin gives birth, June 19th is the week she gives birth, and June 26 is the week after. Now, normally especially since im not close to them anymore I wouldnt care BUT my mom is adamant that my cousin and her whole side of the family be at my shower and therefore she wants me to avoid ALL OF JUNE in order to make sure they come and there are no fights, etc.
**Her whole family (my moms sister) is going down to VA where my cousin lives and staying with her until a week after she gives birth).
Fine... I look at JULY but the first weekend is July 4th weekend and no one will be around, july 10th and 17th my BFF in the whole world will not be in the country... so that leaves me with July 24th, THREE WORKS BEFORE I GIVE BIRTH!!
My question is... is a baby shower on July 24th, three weeks before I give birth crazy?!? Will it be too close? What kind of condition will I be in? My mom thinks its perfectly fine and I should adjust my schedule around them.
Should I just have it in June and just say "screw it if they can make it or not"... if so, which date should I have it.. June 12th (the week before she gives birth) or June 26th (the week after she gives birth)? Which week do you think my mom's family will have LESS of an excuse not to come?
Ughh, this is supposed to be fun but instead its a nightmare!! Please help in any way possible, thank you!
Message edited 3/30/2010 3:06:58 PM.
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Posted 3/30/10 3:00 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
I think you should do the shower earlier than later. (I had my shower at 37 weeks due to my mom getting very sick and having to reschedule my original shower date- I would NOT recommend cutting it that close. I was uncomfortable, bloated and it was kind of unreal how huge I was).
What if you had your shower on memorial day weekend? I think that'd be perfect timing and great weather!
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:06 PM |
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Sunday
In love with a boy named Luca
Member since 6/09 1799 total posts
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
First of all, I just want to say that my baby shower cost $2500 (about 90 guests- we have a HUGE family) and I got over $3000 worth of gifts from my registry, $1500 in gift cards to BBB and BRU, and about another $800 in cash.
So, if it's a "numbers game" to ur mom- u will actually end up in the positive- not the negative.
Anyway, about the dates- I would go earlier- what about the end of May? I wouldn't do 3 weeks before ur edd- u might give birth before then and anyway u will be SO big and tired. Mine was 5 weeks before and I was exhausted- barely made it through the day.
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:07 PM |
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MrsScott
So in Love
Member since 1/09 3356 total posts
Name:
Shawna
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
I would choose a day in June the week before her due date is fine if you want to give her the option of coming. Personally since it looks like July is out of the question or put it for 4th of July weekend the 3rd is a Sat. so thats a fine day to have one or just go with early June.
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:08 PM |
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BabysMomma29
Due with Baby #2!
Member since 10/08 2004 total posts
Name:
Tricia aka MattandTricia07
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
I too would do June.
I'm also due August 12th and my shower is June 13th.
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:10 PM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
If I were you I would plan the baby shower for May. Maybe May 22nd or 23rd? This way it is a month before your cousin is due, it is not Memorial Day weekend, your BFF will be in town AND it won't be 3 weeks before your due date ( ).
I had a similar problem last year when I got married. My cousin (who I am not on the best of terms with) was getting married July 5th and I was getting married Sept 6th. I didn't want to have the shower too close to her wedding or too close to my wedding so we did it on May 16th. It worked out perfectly!
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:15 PM |
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skinny
3 boys and a princess!
Member since 11/08 8178 total posts
Name:
Momma
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
What about June 5th?
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:20 PM |
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d-h2008
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 2490 total posts
Name:
D EDD: 8/29/2010
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Posted by BrinaEsq
First of all, I just want to say that my baby shower cost $2500 (about 90 guests- we have a HUGE family) and I got over $3000 worth of gifts from my registry, $1500 in gift cards to BBB and BRU, and about another $800 in cash.
So, if it's a "numbers game" to ur mom- u will actually end up in the positive- not the negative.
Anyway, about the dates- I would go earlier- what about the end of May? I wouldn't do 3 weeks before ur edd- u might give birth before then and anyway u will be SO big and tired. Mine was 5 weeks before and I was exhausted- barely made it through the day.
Thanks for the feedback... sounds like everyone at your shower was very generous!! I put together a preliminary list and there is about 50 people. I think that will do ok "numbers wise" and if we dont, I really dont care cause its about the party and something for me!!
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:21 PM |
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d-h2008
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 2490 total posts
Name:
D EDD: 8/29/2010
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Posted by skinny
What about June 5th?
Ahh yes, June 5th. The ONE good weekend in June where everything might just fall into place lol.
Here's the thing.. its my brothers birthday, he will be 20. I dont want to make him feel like im stealing his day. What do you think? Should I talk to him about it?!
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:23 PM |
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8ternity
<3
Member since 11/08 10586 total posts
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Formally NYPD-Wife
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Ok, so the $1000 your going to spend is not going to compare to the amount of gifts your going to get from family and friends.
I would do it in June, you dont want to get screwed over again, sicne your paying for it and the date works for most people then go for it. Dont base the date because of one person.
Good Luck!
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:23 PM |
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8ternity
<3
Member since 11/08 10586 total posts
Name:
Formally NYPD-Wife
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Posted by d-h2008
Posted by skinny
What about June 5th?
Ahh yes, June 5th. The ONE good weekend in June where everything might just fall into place lol.
Here's the thing.. its my brothers birthday, he will be 20. I dont want to make him feel like im stealing his day. What do you think? Should I talk to him about it?!
or June 6...Ive been to showers on Sundays before, my bridal shower was on a sunday and it might be cheaper then Saturdays!
Message edited 3/30/2010 3:26:34 PM.
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:26 PM |
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MrsSpring
I'm a lucky mama
Member since 1/10 7585 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
the weekend of your brothers bday sounds good. talk to him and see--its 20 not 21 and tell him you will def make it up to him when he turns 21. (booze & strippers--jk)
otherwise have it when you want to have it and than maybe get together with just them closer to your due date (to get your gifts out of them)
Do whats best for you and dont worry about the others!!
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| Posted 3/30/10 3:34 PM |
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MamaB17
Back for baby #3
Member since 5/09 4065 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
I would do it in June, you can't plan your life around them. KWIM? By trying to accommodate them your not accommodating yourself. That isn't fair to you. Just tell your mom you don't feel comfortable doing it that close to your due date, and pick a date in June that you want. No matter which date you pick the week before, or the week after they will have something to say about it. For that reason you should pick the date you want, and not let it stress you out. HTH! I know how you feel my mom wanted to write us a check too. 
eta: My shower is going to be a Sunday b/c it was better for most of my family than a Saturday.
Message edited 3/30/2010 4:08:53 PM.
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| Posted 3/30/10 4:07 PM |
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Dee0522
And then there were four...
Member since 6/09 2088 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
I say def talk to your brother about June 5th. Your shower would be during the day anyway... it's not like you'd be stealing the entire day and night from him if he wanted to celebrate. Or... do June 6th. I have actually never been to a shower that WASN'T on a Sunday, so I wouldn't think that was odd at all. Good luck!
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| Posted 3/30/10 4:11 PM |
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d-h2008
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 2490 total posts
Name:
D EDD: 8/29/2010
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Your right, I hope he is as reasonable as you, who knows, he might not care... I will def. ask him!!
About June 6th (sunday)... the only thing is that like 80% of my list of people are form church and our church ends at like 1:30pm. So is it ok to have a shower from like 3-7? or is that too late? What time is the norm usually?
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| Posted 3/30/10 4:18 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
As far as the timing, let your mom know that three weeks before your due date is cutting it too close, so June is the only option. And I don't mean to sound like a complete snot, but this is your party and you're the one throwing it andpaying for it- so what you say goes. I think it's unfair for her to try to run things when she is not the host.
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| Posted 3/30/10 4:24 PM |
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mrandmrs12
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1687 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
How about when you're about 30 weeks? I would prefer, like you, to have it around 32-34 weeks, but it's not that far off.
I would personally not want a shower 3 weeks before my due date. Babies do come early! You never know. Also, you probably will be feeling quite large and uncomfortable. I also think it's nice to have time after the shower to wash stuff, write thank yous, return stuff, etc. BEFORE BABY ARRIVES. 
Hope you have an enjoyable stress-free shower!!!
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| Posted 3/30/10 4:26 PM |
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Deeluvsvinny
DONE
Member since 10/08 4952 total posts
Name:
Whatever
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
I'd talk to your bro. If your shower is in the afternoon 12 or 1ish start time, it will be over in plenty of time for him to have his birthday celebration. My shower was on my BFF's birthday and it was at 12..she had no problem coming and then celbrating her birthday later on.
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| Posted 3/30/10 4:29 PM |
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Cookiegobbler
My little love bugs!!
Member since 9/05 5759 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
I say June 5th or 6th... and I doubt your brother will care... most boys/men don't get stressed over these things like we all do. LOL But I agree also, a Sunday brunch would be wonderful also!
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| Posted 3/30/10 4:29 PM |
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tann22
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 2421 total posts
Name:
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
June 5th,....I'm sure your brother will understand.
You can celebrate his birthday afterwards.
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| Posted 3/30/10 4:40 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Posted by tracy22
June 5th,....I'm sure your brother will understand.
You can celebrate his birthday afterwards.
Totally agree. Guys aren't as crazy when it comes to things like this. And he most likely won't have plans until later in the day/evening, so I would think it would be fine.
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| Posted 3/30/10 4:58 PM |
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MamaB17
Back for baby #3
Member since 5/09 4065 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Posted by d-h2008
Your right, I hope he is as reasonable as you, who knows, he might not care... I will def. ask him!!
About June 6th (sunday)... the only thing is that like 80% of my list of people are form church and our church ends at like 1:30pm. So is it ok to have a shower from like 3-7? or is that too late? What time is the norm usually?
As for the time of the shower on a Sunday most places I called when looking for a venue did a Noon-4 type of event. I know some places will charge you extra if you extend into the dinner seating so check that out when you start looking around. That is not to say that you won't be able to find some place that will do a later event without charging extra, just be sure to ask.
As for your brother I am sure he won't mind. My uncle's 50th birthday is the day before my shower. We are going to have family over my parents after the shower to sing happy birthday to him.
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| Posted 3/30/10 5:03 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Posted by d-h2008
Posted by skinny
What about June 5th?
Ahh yes, June 5th. The ONE good weekend in June where everything might just fall into place lol.
Here's the thing.. its my brothers birthday, he will be 20. I dont want to make him feel like im stealing his day. What do you think? Should I talk to him about it?!
I would talk to your brother about that. I had my wedding on my mom's birthday and she was the one that suggested it. She was totally cool with it. The shower will be during he day anyway....don't see how it will interfere with his birthday.
I also wanted to say that since YOU are the one planning this, do what makes YOU happy. Do NOT have it too close to your due date. You never know when you will go into labor.
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| Posted 3/30/10 5:05 PM |
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GottaHaveFaith
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1443 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Ok, this is JMO, but honestly, you mentioned that your mom wanted to just give you money, and that you are planning your own shower. That being said, your mom should have NO input on a date, you do what you feel comfortable! I think either May 22nd or 23rd is good, and also talk to your brother about June 5th! That's actually the date of my shower, and I'm due August 3rd! It's not like he's going to go out during the day, your shower will most likely be either 12-4 or 1-5, so he will still have the whole night free. If he's bothered by it, consider Sunday, June 6th. Most important, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, it should be fun and someone else should be doing this for you! Aw, more power to you!!! Good luck 
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| Posted 3/31/10 7:29 AM |
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d-h2008
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 2490 total posts
Name:
D EDD: 8/29/2010
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Re: SO stressed over baby shower... Any advice? (long, sorry)
Thank you ladies for all your input... I am definitely considering June 5th now, I will talk to him, I hope he doesnt mind!!
Thank you ladies.. see you gave me an idea I wasnt even considering before... this might work out at last!!!
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| Posted 3/31/10 9:09 AM |
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