| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: << 4 5 6 [7] 8 |
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by -Lisa-
Obviously secretly videotaping a family member is not a great idea for family harmony,
she had a feeling something was not right...screw the family harmony, those are her CHILDREN
|
Posted 9/13/08 12:02 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by MrsSchwags
nope.
i spoke with DH.
I told him I wanted to speak to BIL and MIL at the same time.
He said no, tell MIL and let her handle it.
I want to call BIL and tell him what a POS he is. I would have thought my DH would have done that too.
Instead I am getting lectured that I had it out for him.
(If you remember my posts from a few weeks ago I said I didn't feel like he was paying any attention to them and he was on porn sites on my computer)
honestly, I would not be waiting for DH's approval. I would call BIL or even better, have the police pay him a little visit...if your dh and MIL cannot understand the severity of this, they need to be examined
|
| Posted 9/13/08 12:04 PM |
| |
|
DandN
Twins are here!
Member since 3/06 3597 total posts
Name:
Deirdre
|
Re: So Upset
I cannot believe what you went through - first 
I can only imagine how hard this must be - and it comes down to choosing between your children and your DH's family. If your MIL is condoning your BIL's behavior then frankly, they deserve each other.
I would not bring your children to MIL's house - whether or not BIL is there. Not at Halloween for trick or treating - not at Thanksgiving, not at Christmas.
MIL needs to understand that her son's behavior has caused this. BIL unfortunately wont realize he did anything wrong when his mother is backing him up. So cut yourself off from his family entirely.
I'm sure your DH feels a bit torn - but the fact is - You and your children are MORE IMPORTANT this his mother and brother. He needs to be your biggest cheerleader now - and when the choice needs to be made - you should ALWAYS be the one he chooses - not his mother, not his idiot brother.
PLEASE know that we all support you. I live in Nassau but am home 2 days a week. I can easily drive out to you and watch your kids - DD would love the company!
This is what moms do for each other.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 12:07 PM |
| |
|
ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
|
Re: So Upset
I don't even know what to say, I'm horrified to say the least...
I truly hope you and your DH come to terms on how to handle this...
|
| Posted 9/13/08 12:16 PM |
| |
|
babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
|
Re: So Upset
I'm so angry I'm shaking.
DH needs to stand behind you 100%. Your instinct led you to tape your children's caregiver and thank God you did. Your poor sweet babies.
Has your BIL been confronted yet? (I'm sorry if I missed the post..) Did he apologize? Was he regretful? Does he know that what he did was wrong?
Good luck you in finding alternative childcare. I wish I could help you.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 12:39 PM |
| |
|
Karebaby
Precious
Member since 10/06 5304 total posts
Name:
Karyn
|
Re: So Upset
I am so sorry for you.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 12:43 PM |
| |
|
Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by -Lisa-
Obviously secretly videotaping a family member is not a great idea for family harmony,
she had a feeling something was not right...screw the family harmony, those are her CHILDREN
I agree - she did what she had to do for the sake of her children's safety. I wouldn't be too concerned about p*ssing off DH. I'd be p*ssed that he's annoyed!
|
| Posted 9/13/08 12:49 PM |
| |
|
mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
|
Re: So Upset
That is a parent's worst nightmare. I am so sorry.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 12:50 PM |
| |
|
Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
|
Re: So Upset
I responded earlier yesterday but I am wondering if your BIL has been confronted yet. Does he even know what's going on?
|
| Posted 9/13/08 12:52 PM |
| |
|
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: So Upset
Jen I am not up for the police station idea bc in the end it is your dhs brother and life will be that much harder. Those are your kids and you need to protect them so of course he shouldnt watch them ever again. Though, I am in agreement with the rest of the girls about sending a copy over to MIL. Let her sit through the whole tape. BIL is probably not even mature enough to see the wrongfullness in what he has done otherwise it wouldnt have happened. Let MIL and her son deal with themselves.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 12:58 PM |
| |
|
Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by prncss
Quite honestly, I would march myself over to my MIL's house sit her dumbass on the couch and MAKE HER WATCH THE ENTIRE VIDEO. Make HER sit and watch HER POS son treat YOUR children that way.
I would do this as well. Appeal to your MIL as a mother. Ask her how she would feel if these were her children.
But your issue is also your DH. Sit down with him. You NEED to be in agreement on this and on the same side. this is your CHILDREN! If he believes that this is inappropriate behavior, then he needs to do something about it- whether his mother agrees or not.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 1:01 PM |
| |
|
luv2laff
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/06 22 total posts
Name:
Julie
|
Re: So Upset
I feel terrible for the mother and the family on this post. It is ridiculous that she is being pressured to report her BIL to the Police by a bunch of people who were not inolved and do not necessarily know the entire story. It is one thing if she wants to report her BIL.
To the Mother I am so sorry your family is in this situation. I am sure it will all work out for your family. Thank God your children were not seriously hurt.
Message edited 9/13/2008 2:37:46 PM.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 1:48 PM |
| |
|
MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: So Upset
OMG!!!!!!!!
For 1 thing...go Mothers intuition
2) I would FLIP OUT!!!! My BIL watches DS and i can not even fathom finding out something like that. I mean these kids are his blood and how do you do that to any child. Is this your husbands brother? Does DH know yet? OMG!!!!!!
|
| Posted 9/13/08 1:51 PM |
| |
|
MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by MrsSchwags
nope.
i spoke with DH.
I told him I wanted to speak to BIL and MIL at the same time.
He said no, tell MIL and let her handle it.
I want to call BIL and tell him what a POS he is. I would have thought my DH would have done that too.
Instead I am getting lectured that I had it out for him.
(If you remember my posts from a few weeks ago I said I didn't feel like he was paying any attention to them and he was on porn sites on my computer)
I can't understand how your DH is not bugging out......I am a stranger to you and i'd like to get my hands on your BIL. Your DH saw the tape and those are his kids and he is blaming you?!?!?!?!?! I don't get it,........
ETA maybe its just his knee jerk reaction and he'll come around. Good luck to you and I am so thankful you video taped him and stopped this before anything worse happened.
Message edited 9/13/2008 2:15:53 PM.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:01 PM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by luv2laff
I feel terrible for the mother and the family on this post. It is ridiculous that she is being pressured to report her BIL to the Police by a bunch of people who were not inolved and do not necessarily know the entire story. It is one thing if she wants to report her BIL. She has every right, but she should not be pressured by 50 know it alls on a website.
To the Mother I am so sorry your family is in this situation. I am sure it will all work out for your family. Thank God your children were not seriously hurt.
 No one is pressuring her but I PERSONALLY am the type of person, that if someone laid a FINGER on my dd, whether it be my DH, my Mother, MIL or any of my family..I would be calling the police.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:05 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: So Upset
To be clear, she has not said it was abusive. While I certainly don't condone hitting a 1 OR 2 year old, I'm not sure the police would constitute it as abuse. Depending on how he hit them, some families chalk that up to discipline. It's not discipline that I agree with, but abuse is a serious allegation to be throwing around not having watched the videotape.
Without question, it was neglectful & DEFINITELY not the care she was expecting or paying for.
I'd be upset with my DH too for not seeing the tape for what it was - clear evidence his brother isn't fit to babysit.
Today is your birthday. Please don't focus on your MIL or BIL. Put the focus on how smart you were to go with your gut feeling & how wonderful it is that you found out now rather than as a result of something more serious happening.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:14 PM |
| |
|
MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by luv2laff
I feel terrible for the mother and the family on this post. It is ridiculous that she is being pressured to report her BIL to the Police by a bunch of people who were not inolved and do not necessarily know the entire story. It is one thing if she wants to report her BIL. She has every right, but she should not be pressured by 50 know it alls on a website.
To the Mother I am so sorry your family is in this situation. I am sure it will all work out for your family. Thank God your children were not seriously hurt.
First of all no one is pressuring her to do anything. they are giving their opinion THIS IS AN OPINION BOARD!!!!!!! And its really unnecessary for you to call people names. I don't know where you get off, but I don't see anyone on here being a know-it-all! I see a lot of concerned and supportive parents who are offering suggestions, offering their time and services and reaffirming for the OP that she was right in following her instincts at a time when myabe the people more closely involved can not be objective. Seriously....We are not 5 years old and don't need to call names.
Message edited 9/13/2008 2:17:11 PM.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:14 PM |
| |
|
LoveBeingMrsT
Love my Boys!
Member since 12/05 4648 total posts
Name:
|
Re: So Upset
wow, that is aweful. i'm so sorry. 
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:26 PM |
| |
|
luv2laff
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/06 22 total posts
Name:
Julie
|
Re: So Upset
Wow I apologize if you did not agree with the term "know it all". My point was that she should do what is right for her and her family. Sorry that you took it so personally. Must not be the first time someone called you that. It seems to be a hot button issue for you.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:28 PM |
| |
|
MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: So Upset
Please let's all let it go & not turn this into a drama thread. It is hard enough for the OP to begin with, I am sure, without name-calling and snide remarks.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:29 PM |
| |
|
KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by luv2laff
I feel terrible for the mother and the family on this post. It is ridiculous that she is being pressured to report her BIL to the Police by a bunch of people who were not inolved and do not necessarily know the entire story. It is one thing if she wants to report her BIL. She has every right, but she should not be pressured by 50 know it alls on a website.
To the Mother I am so sorry your family is in this situation. I am sure it will all work out for your family. Thank God your children were not seriously hurt.
Ha. Seriously?
You sound like a gem.
I actually think there are more than 50 "know it alls" now
Message edited 9/13/2008 2:31:22 PM.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:29 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by MsMBV
Please let's all let it go & not turn this into a drama thread. It is hard enough for the OP to begin with, I am sure, without name-calling and snide remarks.
ITA. Keep it to FM please. Not on this thread.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:38 PM |
| |
|
luv2laff
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/06 22 total posts
Name:
Julie
|
Re: So Upset
I took the term "know it alls" off of my post. Did not mean to insult anyone. Just wanted to say that the Mother should do what is right for her and her family.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:39 PM |
| |
|
MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: So Upset
Posted by luv2laff
Wow I apologize if you did not agree with the term "know it all". My point was that she should do what is right for her and her family. Sorry that you took it so personally. Must not be the first time someone called you that. It seems to be a hot button issue for you.
No actually I don't agree with the term know-it-all and none of my posts even mentioned the police, but actually the hot button is people on here who can not allow others to express their opinion without calling them names or starting unnecessary drama. I don't understand feeling the need to insult people just because you disagree with their opinion.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:39 PM |
| |
|
Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
|
Re: So Upset
Wow...I'm sorry you had to see your children be mistreated and/or neglected - by a family member nonetheless. I don't care what age or gender, that's just awful. I can only imagine how you feel. I hope you get things resolved soon and are able to easily find new babysitting help.
|
| Posted 9/13/08 2:41 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: << 4 5 6 [7] 8 |
