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Daveswife
I'm all grown up now
Member since 11/05 1108 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: So Upset
I am still very upset by this. Just the thought of someone putting their hands on DD makes me want to cry. The worst part; They are only BABIES!!  I am so angry for you, and even more angry that your DH is not in right mind. Sorry for everything
Message edited 9/12/2008 11:36:05 PM.
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Posted 9/12/08 11:34 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: So Upset
So I read this....I am sick. I am sorry I read this.
They are not my children, I have never met them...I am sorry to say I don't even know your son's name.
I could not imagine viewing this.
That being said....I REALLY could not imagine it being my kid.
If it was my kid, ontop of every other emotion I am feeling...to have DH give me an issue for a single second-anything other then the well being of our children-I would have zero actions, other then spitting on him and showing him the door.
I am sorry you are going through this. I would not contact MIL. I would not ever be in BIL's life, ever.
Your DH better get his act together quick...like tonight.
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| Posted 9/12/08 11:41 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: So Upset
I am glad that your husband has come around. 
Have you decided whether or not to press charges?
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| Posted 9/12/08 11:41 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: So Upset
Good for you for going with your gut and taping it!!! Thank God the kids are safe and no one was hurt!
Message edited 9/13/2008 5:34:09 AM.
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| Posted 9/13/08 5:32 AM |
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MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom
Member since 10/05 11240 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: So Upset
i dont think i am going to the police.
i just want it over with.
i am very confused and hurt. i havent cried as much as i have in a long time.
as another poster said, i dont want anything to do with him.
he will not be invited for anything.
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| Posted 9/13/08 6:33 AM |
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lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: So Upset
Posted by MrsSchwags
thank you everyone for all the FMs and babysitting offers.
I have a few cousins that are going to help out till I find someone more perm.
It is a great feeling to know that you all are so willing to help.
DH and I talked/yelled/etc he said he didn't think I was out to get him, but that is how his mom sees and he was explaining why.
he said he agrees with me and doesnt want him watching them.
I am just reading this now..UNREAL!! I am so sorry you are going through this
I just want to let you know I live in Coram, and i have a great SMALL day care I use in Pt. Jeff. St., very reasonable, let me know if you would like info.
I hope all of this works out, again, I am so sorry you are going thorugh this.
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| Posted 9/13/08 7:23 AM |
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MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom
Member since 10/05 11240 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: So Upset
thanks so much. daycare for 2 is not affordable right now
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| Posted 9/13/08 7:40 AM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: So Upset
If that were my brother....OMG....I would beat his arse.....That is not acceptable!!!!
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| Posted 9/13/08 7:57 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: So Upset
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
Posted by SweetCaroline
You have about 50 women ready to have your back on here.
Count me among the 50 or so that are with you in this.
I don't even know what to say.
I'm sorry your children were subjected to your BIL's abuse.
I'm sorry that your DH and MIL are not siding with you on this.
I'm sorry that I am not directly involved so that I could personally kick his azz for you.
I can't believe you husband's reaction. It makes no sense to me at all.
Again I'm sorry for your children and I hope there are no long term ill affects from this.
ETA ~ I always follow my instincts and they are always right. You did the right thing and don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise. The proof is over 4 pages of people agreeing with you.
Sorry, absolutely - we are ALL here for you - to kick butt and for support.
Such a difficult situation but you KNEW there was something wrong - good for you for trusting yourself.
We're all here for you and we hope your BIL is out of the picture. I stilll don't understand why your DH was upset you set up that camera - he should be thanking you for protecting those kids.
ETS: I hate to say this, but from your DH & MIL's reaction, I feel like you can only trust yourself to make sure this is taken care of so I would hold on VERY tight to that tape - or make a copy.
Message edited 9/13/2008 8:08:06 AM.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:04 AM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: So Upset
OMG...Jen....I am just reading this now. I am so so sorry you are going through this....and all because of family! If you cant trust family, who can you trust?!  I am so sorry your BIL did this to those 2 precious babies of yours. The thoughts are making me sick to my stomach.
Please, if theres anything I can do to help you, FM me. I dont think I am too far from you.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:17 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: So Upset
Jennifer- I just read this and my stomach is in KNOTS or you. I cannot imagine what you went through while watching that. The betrayal you are feeling must be unimaginable.
YOU did absolutely NOTHING wrong. I pray that your DH has come aroud and realized that his initial reaction to blame you was wrong. Did he react this way before viewing the tape, then change his tune once he saw it?
As hard as it is, I feel you need to confront the whole family on this one. Make your MIL watch the tape. Threaten to go to the police if she refuses. She needs to SEE what a POS her "little boy" is. Personally though- i wouldn't ever want to see BIL again, I'd be afraid of doing something that might get me arrested......
Kudos to you mommy- you knew something wasn't right with your babies and your instinct was dead on. Thank God you did what you did before lasting damage could have been inflicted......
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:17 AM |
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luvnlife
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 981 total posts
Name:
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Re: So Upset
The whole situation is awful. My heart goes out to you and your children.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:19 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: So Upset
Posted by prncss
Quite honestly, I would march myself over to my MIL's house sit her dumbass on the couch and MAKE HER WATCH THE ENTIRE VIDEO. Make HER sit and watch HER POS son treat YOUR children that way. Then tell her she shoud have done a better job raising her son or else you wouldn't HAVE to videotape him
I TOTALLY agree with this!!
If you need anything PLEASE let me know.
I am a SAHM mom, I would be more than willing to help you out with the kids, just say the word
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:46 AM |
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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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Re: So Upset
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
Posted by SweetCaroline
You have about 50 women ready to have your back on here.
Count me among the 50 or so that are with you in this.
I don't even know what to say.
I'm sorry your children were subjected to your BIL's abuse.
I'm sorry that your DH and MIL are not siding with you on this.
I'm sorry that I am not directly involved so that I could personally kick his azz for you.
I can't believe you husband's reaction. It makes no sense to me at all.
Again I'm sorry for your children and I hope there are no long term ill affects from this.
ETA ~ I always follow my instincts and they are always right. You did the right thing and don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise. The proof is over 4 pages of people agreeing with you.
ITA! I can't believe this I am so sorry this is happening
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:49 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: So Upset
This was my thought too. I hate to say it because it is a family member, but this is inexcusable, and if it were someone else I am sure the cops would be involved.
I am so thankful your children are not hurt in a horrible way.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:51 AM |
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FranM
And so it goes....
Member since 9/05 2217 total posts
Name:
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Re: So Upset
they said i was out to get him
And thank God you trusted your instincts to check up on him! He SMACKED your babies, THREW them around and VERBALLY ABUSED them!
Did you MIL and DH not see the same tape? They must be shocked into having a denial reaction. I am sure they will quickly come around. But its not time to worry about them.
Do what you have to do Mommy. I know you will do what you need to do to keep your babies safe.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:56 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: So Upset
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Here is what I would do (IN THIS ORDER):
1. call the police
2. pack DHs bags and tell him to get the F**K out
3. call MIL and tell her that she will NEVER see her grandchildren again
ITA. I understand that MIL is a mother too, and her first instinct would be for her children, but once the shock wears off she needs to realise that your children, her grandchildren, were in harm's way. It could have been worse, much worse. Thank goodness it was a video tape that revealed the truth and not a trip to the hospital or worse.
As for DH, he'll get over it. Your #1 priority is your children, and you did what you had to in order to make sure they were safe.
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| Posted 9/13/08 8:57 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: So Upset
Posted by lipglossjunky73
As a child who was raised with abuse, I'm beginning to wonder by DH and MIL reactions if abuse occurred in the home growing up..... That is not a normal reaction. thats a reaction of people who had to defend something bad and keep it a secret
I was thinking the same thing. Maybe that is why she is taking it so personally (MIL). Maybe her denial is based on her own life and she feels responsible in a way.
At any rate there are many of us on here who can help (I work full time but I can try and find some help for you...I have a lot of SAHMs that live closer to you) and know that we are here for you.
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:01 AM |
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NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: So Upset
I would be livid and exactly why I don't want family watching DD. It's much easier to get angry at a stranger than family.
If it was a BIL, I'd have my DH handle it. Chances are he'd be harsher than I could be.
Good luck!
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:03 AM |
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btrflygrl
me and baby #3!
Member since 5/05 12013 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: So Upset
I'd be so flipping out....the kid is family and he treats them like that???
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:10 AM |
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Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: So Upset
I'm so sorry this went on. I can't even imagine
I agree with Rachel...make his mom watch her sons disgusting behavior first hand and then HAVE to look YOU in the face.
If you need anything....don't hesitate to Fm
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:30 AM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: So Upset
OMG I dont know what to say. Im so sorry. I can only imagine the anger you must be feeling right now. I am right around the area that you live in. If you need help I can help you out and take one of the days that BIL watched your babies.
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:35 AM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: So Upset
After I punched him in the face. I would fire his arse! Time to get a new sitter & fast!
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:35 AM |
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juanvi
Get Out!
Member since 10/06 4463 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: So Upset
oh no! that's so scary. Please get a new babysitter somehow. I'm so sorry
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:36 AM |
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KristinasMama
How did she turn 2 so quickly?
Member since 10/07 8257 total posts
Name:
Blessed Mama of Kristina Elena
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Re: So Upset
I read the responses of your DH and MIL last night.
I HAD to sit on it all night long b/c I was a combination of so and so absolutely   .
Once the shock of everything wears off, I pray that they will realize what their son/brother did to those babies.
Head your tush directly over to the police station with that tape/DVD in hand.... I understand that you want it to be over, HOWEVER, don't think that if there is a family function he won't be there, and I don't even want to think about what kind of residual fears/flashbacks those children will have when they see him.
I am so very sorry for you that your DH hasn't marched himself over to his brother's house and told him to keep his sorry self away from your home and family or else suffer the consequences.
I really truly wish that I was closer to you so that I could care for your 2 little ones.... I would be more than happy to help you out!
I am just so enfuriated by this entire thing, and it's not even w/i my family..... If I ever caught anyone on tape doing that to my DD..... I PROMISE you.... I would be in jail shortly after viewing it!
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:45 AM |
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