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So Upset

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dottiemchugh
<3

Member since 5/05

8261 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

I am so sorry, for you, and your children. He is a piece of trash! How do you do this to 2 innocent babies, let alone, your NEICE AND NEPHEW!? GRRRR, I am so mad and sickened.

Please, if you need anything, I don't live far from you, let me know. Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 9:23 PM
 
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

Do not let them turn this around on you. You thought something was up & went with your gut. Obviously you were right.

I thought there would be a possiblity of turning this around. You paid him to watch your children. Not only is he NOT watching them AT ALL, he is smacking a 1 & 2 year old!

Tell them to take the personal out of this. If this was a stranger, both your MIL & DH would be furious. You should be able to expect MORE care & love from a family member.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I'm glad you have the tape.Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 9:23 PM
 

MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom

Member since 10/05

11240 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: So Upset

Posted by prncss

Quite honestly, I would march myself over to my MIL's house sit her dumbass on the couch and MAKE HER WATCH THE ENTIRE VIDEO. Make HER sit and watch HER POS son treat YOUR children that way. Then tell her she shoud have done a better job raising her son or else you wouldn't HAVE to videotape himChat Icon




haha. i think that on a daily basis

Posted 9/12/08 9:23 PM
 

JerseyMamaOf3
Boo!

Member since 6/05

15144 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

I wouldn't listen to DH on this one. It is not your MIL's place to be dealing with this when it is your children. I would call POS BIL up myself tell him what a POS he is and he should be counting his lucky stars that you didn't go to the police.
How can your DH not want to confront him?

Posted 9/12/08 9:29 PM
 

itkocak

Member since 7/07

7639 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

Message edited 11/21/2011 8:40:51 PM.

Posted 9/12/08 9:54 PM
 

ME75

Member since 10/06

4563 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

Posted by MrsGmomof3

Chat Icon
Here is what I would do (IN THIS ORDER):

1. call the police
2. pack DHs bags and tell him to get the F**K out
3. call MIL and tell her that she will NEVER see her grandchildren again



ITA
and i am so sorry you are dealing with this.
i know we are not in your shoes and only you can do what you need to do. i hope you stick to your guns. you did the RIGHT THING and do not let anyone turn this around on you.....Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 10:02 PM
 

justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!

Member since 5/05

6905 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

Posted by MrsSchwags

they said i was out to get him



So you video you taped him and that made him ABUSE your babies and put them in dangers are they fing kidding meChat Icon Seruiously I really think we should round up the LIF daddies and let them get to know your BIL. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

How dare he touch those babies.

18 or not common sense is you don't do those things to babies.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I bet it would only take minutes to round up LIF daddies.

Posted 9/12/08 10:02 PM
 

groovypeg
:)

Member since 5/05

2423 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

first of all, your dh needs a smack in the head. your children come first and he is not seeing the big picture. whether you were out for his brother is not the point; you have clear evidence that he was not doing what he was supposed to do. i am sorry, but if this was my husband, he would be out on the street by now. if it comes to that, know that you have all the support and love from this board.

if you show the video to your mil, make sure you have a copy of the tape somewhere else.

i am so sorry you are dealing with this!
do you have any other family to turn to?

Posted 9/12/08 10:03 PM
 

itkocak

Member since 7/07

7639 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

Message edited 11/21/2011 8:41:07 PM.

Posted 9/12/08 10:04 PM
 

christy
Mommy of 2

Member since 5/05

6787 total posts

Name:
Christy

Re: So Upset

He can no longer watch your children! I am so sorry! OMG!!!!!!

Posted 9/12/08 10:06 PM
 

Sassyz75
Turning a new page

Member since 5/05

9731 total posts

Name:
Dina

Re: So Upset

I am so sorry- i don't even know what to say. The fact that your DH doesn't immediately have your back makes me furious. I would give DH a little time to cool off... maybe he's in shock. Tomorrow I would call BIL and MIL with or without DH and show them the tape.. and I certainly wouldn't let BIL anywhere near those babies ever again.

Posted 9/12/08 10:12 PM
 

KateDevine
*

Member since 6/06

24950 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

Honestly, I think your DH needs to go stay with MIL and BIL. Since you are "out to get him", then he needs to get lost.

I would say to my husband that he does not have your children's best interests at heart and he needs to leave until he figures out what is most important--you KIDS, not his dumbarse brother.

I am SO sorry! I wish I was home during the day to help, my DH is, but I don't think he could handle 3Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 10:16 PM
 

littlejoy06
Love

Member since 3/07

6944 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

Chat Icon What did you DH say?? This is his brother right? I can't believe he did that.

Posted 9/12/08 10:18 PM
 

MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom

Member since 10/05

11240 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: So Upset

thank you everyone for all the FMs and babysitting offers.

I have a few cousins that are going to help out till I find someone more perm.

It is a great feeling to know that you all are so willing to help.


DH and I talked/yelled/etc he said he didn't think I was out to get him, but that is how his mom sees and he was explaining why.

he said he agrees with me and doesnt want him watching them.

Posted 9/12/08 10:23 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: So Upset

WOW! Im so sad for you. I really would have likly mentioned divorce to my husband already over something like this.

NOTHING matters but those babies and their care Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 10:30 PM
 

DmarieK
My loves!!

Member since 1/06

9203 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

OMG...I can't believe that!! Thank god you went with your gut...you can never be to safe when it comes to your children. I hope DH and MIL see the light and realize how serious this is.Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 10:32 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: So Upset

As a child who was raised with abuse, I'm beginning to wonder by DH and MIL reactions if abuse occurred in the home growing up..... That is not a normal reaction. thats a reaction of people who had to defend something bad and keep it a secret Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 10:45 PM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: So Upset

In all honestly it is hard to take care of 2 children under 2 as an adult. An 18 year old boy is probably not equipped with parenting or care giver skills. I think it is very sad that your MIL and DH have decided to make you a bad guy in all of this.
I think the other care poster is correct- they are too accepting of this AND your BIL was too easily doing it.
I think it is very clear that your BIL is just not able to handle the daily needs of 2 small children. He does not realize that what he is doing is hurting them or that he is doing something truly wrong. I bet he feels like "it is no big deal".
He is 18. Your MIL felt he was old enough to watch her grandchildren then IMO he is old enough to speak with you about the situation and deal with the issues at hand.
You cannot leave him alone with the children.That is obvious to everyone.
Would your DH be happier if he had never known how the children were being treated? Or your MIL for that matter?

You keep your head held high. You do what is right for your children. I would calmly tell your BIL that you were video taping with a Nanny Cam and have decided that you must find a proper care giver for your child. Then just hang up.

Message edited 9/12/2008 10:52:00 PM.

Posted 9/12/08 10:50 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: So Upset

Posted by michele31


I think the other care poster is correct- they are too accepting of this AND your BIL was too easily doing it.
I think it is very clear that your BIL is just not able to handle the daily needs of 2 small children. He does not realize that what he is doing is hurting them or that he is doing something truly wrong. I bet he feels like "it is no big deal".





Sorry - but at the age of 18, a man knows the difference between right and wrong - money or not, if he couldn't handle it, he should have said so!!!!! I doubt the money was sooo astronomical that he couldn't find something else!

Message edited 9/12/2008 10:56:47 PM.

Posted 9/12/08 10:55 PM
 

EmmaNick
*

Member since 12/06

16001 total posts

Name:
*

Re: So Upset

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by michele31


I think the other care poster is correct- they are too accepting of this AND your BIL was too easily doing it.
I think it is very clear that your BIL is just not able to handle the daily needs of 2 small children. He does not realize that what he is doing is hurting them or that he is doing something truly wrong. I bet he feels like "it is no big deal".





Sorry - but at the age of 18, a man knows the difference between right and wrong - money or not, if he couldn't handle it, he should have said so!!!!! I doubt the money was sooo astronomical that he couldn't find something else!



Exactly!! There is NO excuse and NO justification for his behavior.

Posted 9/12/08 10:58 PM
 

MichLiz213
Life is Good!

Member since 7/07

7979 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

I am so angry for you right now. Your poor kids being abused this way. I would be spitting bullets. I'm so sorry this happened, but it's so good that you went with your instincts. Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 11:07 PM
 

My2Boys
Love.

Member since 10/05

4796 total posts

Name:

Re: So Upset

I'm so angry for you. I'm sorry that your children had to endure that. Chat Icon They're very lucky to have you as their Mommy. Good luck with finding a new babysitter for them. Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 11:16 PM
 

trnity44
I hope you stay beautiful baby

Member since 5/05

8356 total posts

Name:
Liz

Re: So Upset

I cannot believe this story!! I am SO sorry for you and your kids!!!!!

He's 18- he should know better.

Posted 9/12/08 11:18 PM
 

Daveswife
I'm all grown up now

Member since 11/05

1108 total posts

Name:
Valerie

Re: So Upset

Chat Icon I don't even know what to say. I hope you get this resolved soon. How DARE he??Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 11:20 PM
 

mrsej
The cutest!

Member since 1/07

2495 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: So Upset

Wow - this is really upsetting. I feel lilke kicking your BIL's azz. I would explain what has happened to your MIL and if she is not receptive to what you are saying, tell her that she is not seeing your kids. Your DH needs to worry about his kids instead of his brother's feelings. I would want to strangle my BIL. I flipped out on my FIL for waking up my DS when he was sleeping - god only knows what i would do if anyone smacked my son.

Posted 9/12/08 11:24 PM
 
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