spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

The other post about grandma's facebook comment got me thinking.

Do you feel it's our parents obligation to watch a grandchild to help their own children out (save them money, time, etc)? Or do you feel it's simply a generous favor?

Would YOU be hurt/angry/upset if your parent/s/ILS didn't want to watch your DC unless it was once in a while? Or do you feel that it's not their obligation and it's alot of work so you could understand if they did not want to watch your DC on a regular basis?

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

It's a generous favor. That being said, if they commit themselves to that, then it is a commitment and they shouldn't just back out.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

It's def. a blessing when grandparents help out with our children. BUT, if my mom or ILs were home full time with no other commitments and didn't offer to help PT, I would be offended. My MIL travels and live abroad half the yr. so she can't offer us steady help but helps all she can when she is around. My mom works FT and has a 6-yr old so it's a rare occasion that she babysits, but will do it when I need her.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

It's a favor..would I be hurt if they were annoyed by it or didn't want to yes, but at the same time both sets of grandparents still work and I see how they need their own time as well but luckily we've been blessed with grandparents that always want to help out sometimes a bit too much and it gets annoying

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Absolutely NOT an obligation IMO. If they can do it, that is wonderful. If not, then that's fine because I would never expect it.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

No, it is not an obligation
BUT them NOT wanting to do it SO different from anything I have experienced, that I honestly cannot wrap my head around it. We lived with my grandmother, DH lived with his grandparents.

My mom watched DD every day until 4PM. If I take her to the store for a few hours and come back, she is at the front door waiting to love her up the minute she gets back in. My MIL tears up every time we bring DD over there, TEARS! We go once or twice a week and she begs to watch her but she hasn't yet -- which I know kills her, but that is my own issue. My dad rushes home from work and will open up the front door, already calling for my DD and she starts looking around for him like crazy.



This also goes for my brother, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins - I mean literally everyone in my family. We are all so incredibly in love with each other's children we joke around that when we go out together - you wouldn't be able to tell who belonged to which family! And yes, that means even if we had to watch them every single day.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Ok...so I see 2 posters wrote that the grandparents work full time.

So that takes me to the next question...if the grandparents don't work, does that make them more obligated b/c they have "nothing else to do"? What if they were SAHMs for their own children and just don't feel up to being tied down again?

Not pointing fingers at anyone's thoughts!!! Just looking to see where the consensus is on this and to have an honest discussion about it. B/c I am not sure, I go back and forth on this issue.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

My parents raised their kids, I wouldn't expect them to be obligated to help out. I would hope they would want to spend time with their grandchildren and by babysitting sometimes would be able to do that.

I will add that my DS has no living grandparents and I am super envious of anyone who has a grandparent around to help, even if it's just once in a while.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

I think it is both. I would think a grandparent would want to help. At the same time, it is a favor.

My situation is slightly different. I pay my parents' mortgage and support my parents financially so we have a trade off. My mom watches DS while we work.

Even if I didn't support them financially, I am sure they would help watch/raise DS.

My parents are getting older so we will continue to support them but I plan to get other help and not rely on them for childcare.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

HUGE, HUGE, HUGE generous favor!

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Totally a favor. Not an obligation. They raised their kids and if they want to live the rest of their lives w/o any commitment it is definetely their right - they earned it.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

I don't think its an obligation at all. I think its great if a grandparent WANTS to do it and can handle it.

My own mother I would never ask because she spent her whole life raising 6 kids...my own kids are a LOT of work most of the time and she's not in the physical shape to handle that...I just couldn't do it.

But for a grandparent in great shape who wants to do it? All the more power to them. To each their own!


-I have to say too...that when the time comes i don't think i'd be jumping up and down to do it for my kids...I'd help if they really needed it, but i think after being a mom myself for so many years i want down time! Lol

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Posted by ShaunsMommy

Posted by nferrandi

It's a generous favor. That being said, if they commit themselves to that, then it is a commitment and they shouldn't just back out.

THIS!!!!

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

A huge generous favor. Both MIL and my mom watch DS. They take turns, and honestly it saves us so much money that I don't even know how to repay them. They enjoy watching DS, but I still feel bad. I feel like it's a lot of work. If they can't watch DS for whatever reason I wouldn't feel bad. I would completely understand.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

I think it's a generous favor.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

It’s a privilege to watch AJ

Haha seriously, tho, I have a cousin who’s parents watch his son. But they sort of took it for granted. His older brother (my other cousin) had a kid young and they raised that boy (their grandson) he still actually lives with them. So when son #2 had a child it was assumed they would do the same for that one. My cousin does take advantage of it but says he’s grateful.

My Dad isn’t in town but his sister (my aunt) is. She loves AJ to pieces. I have to ask for my kid BACK! She’s over there this week because she wanted her so badly. Mind you I pay for daycare regardless so really I’m wasting money. But she wants her so bad, how can I say no? Plus I believe we are all here for a limited time. I want AJ to enjoy my aunt while she can.

Overall it’s a favor. But I do think grand parents should be appreciated when they take the kids on regardless if they asked to have the kids or we asked them to take the kids.

Oh and Jim’s mother point blank said she’ll never take AJ on for a day or night or care. She already raised 3 kids, she done. I can respect that. Afterall, its her loss.

Again.. for me.. caring for AJ is a privilege not a right.

Re: spinoff - grandparents watching grandchildren (do you believe it's obligation or a favor)?

A very generous favor, regardless of their situation.