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Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
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Posted 5/8/16 4:06 PM  |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Sash
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by nferrandi
I have to be honest, I'm surprised at some of the responses.
Ha me too
I'd probably say around 10ish. But like I've said before on these posts, my DS goes to his dad's every other weekend and I have no control on what he does there, so my perspective is a little different.
I also had a summer house growing up and kids definitely starting coming out around 10
This site is not he norm.. I would take it with a grain of salt.
To answer your question: My Stepson was about 10 or 11, I think I would allow the same for my DS for friends of parents I knew well and if he stood over their house before. But since I'm horrible at the whole play date thing it wouldn't come up. My sister has taken my son for a week vacation at the shore when he was 5.
No it is not as I don't get how some people wouldn't allow their kids to go on vacation with a friend and family until 18 but their kids might be 17 when they start college. I actually feel bad for all these kids as it doesn't sound like many of them have fun childhoods anymore. No sleepovers, no being independent.
You are kidding right? You used to make these snide comments all the time...and I see you making them on your new name here also. Because a family doesn't allow their kids to go away on someone else's family vacation doesn't mean they are deprived or have zero fun in their lives. How silly.
No, depriving your kids of doing things that kids do is not having fun and allowing them to grow. Yes, each child is different but the majority of them would like to have friends and do things with them. I have read enough comments on this board that show that many parents are holding their kids back now for fears of parents that are unjust.
Wow very closed minded. People need to do what works for their families. I grew up with plenty of friends whose parents did not allow sleepovers, and vacations were taken with families, not friends. Those kids went on to excellent colleges, graduate schools, and are doctors, lawyers, and other very good careers. They are well adjusted, happy, non deprived kids. Probably more well traveled than most f their peers. In fact I would go so far to say they were more responsible in college and more well traveled than those who went to just a summer house/beach or Disney with a friend's family. There is nothing wrong with either, just what works for your family. There are other ways to encourage independence that do not involve going away with a friend. Also those same kids had plenty of friends. There are many things kids can do with friends that does not necessarily involve trips or sleepovers. For many who have demanding jobs vacations are a treasured opportunity to spend with family, not tag alongs. I knew more families who would go away with other families more so than just taking a child away with theirs. I know some parents say not letting your kid go to parties and drink because other kids are doing it are depriving their kids. Each to his own, and their comfort level, but it doesn't equate to no friends and no independence simply because they might be more cautious.
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| Posted 5/8/16 6:25 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
Yes for real.. talk about snide comments but yet throw one back at all the parents whose kids started kindergarten at 4 years old
Not only would my kid be starting college at 17 (knock on wood) but I will be encouraging him to go away to college.
But I still stand by this site is not the norm.. And by that I mean where you have 90% of people saying on here they would never let their child do xyz. Maybe a 50/50 split would be more accurate. I think a huge part of it is people posting about it when they have little kids. It's hard when you're not in that stage yet.
Message edited 5/8/2016 7:59:32 PM.
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| Posted 5/8/16 6:31 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by PitterPatter11
I'd think middle school/high school. I teach HS and I swear 30-40% of my students go away with their friend's families over break. We started taking my sister's friend on vacation with us in middle school. We were close family friends.
Yes this is why I take polls on this site with a grain a salt. I don't think anyone parenting style is wrong or crazy but I think it's just the general population on this site is in a different stage of parenting so it skews the numbers.
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| Posted 5/8/16 6:33 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by Lillykat
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Sash
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by nferrandi
I have to be honest, I'm surprised at some of the responses.
Ha me too
I'd probably say around 10ish. But like I've said before on these posts, my DS goes to his dad's every other weekend and I have no control on what he does there, so my perspective is a little different.
I also had a summer house growing up and kids definitely starting coming out around 10
This site is not he norm.. I would take it with a grain of salt.
To answer your question: My Stepson was about 10 or 11, I think I would allow the same for my DS for friends of parents I knew well and if he stood over their house before. But since I'm horrible at the whole play date thing it wouldn't come up. My sister has taken my son for a week vacation at the shore when he was 5.
No it is not as I don't get how some people wouldn't allow their kids to go on vacation with a friend and family until 18 but their kids might be 17 when they start college. I actually feel bad for all these kids as it doesn't sound like many of them have fun childhoods anymore. No sleepovers, no being independent.
You are kidding right? You used to make these snide comments all the time...and I see you making them on your new name here also. Because a family doesn't allow their kids to go away on someone else's family vacation doesn't mean they are deprived or have zero fun in their lives. How silly.
No, depriving your kids of doing things that kids do is not having fun and allowing them to grow. Yes, each child is different but the majority of them would like to have friends and do things with them. I have read enough comments on this board that show that many parents are holding their kids back now for fears of parents that are unjust.
Wow very closed minded. People need to do what works for their families. I grew up with plenty of friends whose parents did not allow sleepovers, and vacations were taken with families, not friends. Those kids went on to excellent colleges, graduate schools, and are doctors, lawyers, and other very good careers. They are well adjusted, happy, non deprived kids. Probably more well traveled than most f their peers. In fact I would go so far to say they were more responsible in college and more well traveled than those who went to just a summer house/beach or Disney with a friend's family. There is nothing wrong with either, just what works for your family. There are other ways to encourage independence that do not involve going away with a friend. Also those same kids had plenty of friends. There are many things kids can do with friends that does not necessarily involve trips or sleepovers. For many who have demanding jobs vacations are a treasured opportunity to spend with family, not tag alongs. I knew more families who would go away with other families more so than just taking a child away with theirs. I know some parents say not letting your kid go to parties and drink because other kids are doing it are depriving their kids. Each to his own, and their comfort level, but it doesn't equate to no friends and no independence simply because they might be more cautious.
I do think it depends on the child. Many times it is the parent who holds them back as they are scared of things. Not only here.
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| Posted 5/8/16 7:13 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by Sash
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
Yes for real.. talk about snide comments but yet throw one back at all the parents whose kids started kindergarten at 4 years old
Not only would my kid be starting college at 17 (knock on wood) but I will be encouraging him to go away to college.
But I still stand by this site is not the norm.. And by that I mean where you have 90% of people saying on here saying they would never let their child do xyz. Maybe a 50/50 split would be more accurate. I think a huge part of it is people posting about it when they have little kids. It's hard when you're not in that stage yet.
My oldest was 4 a week before K start and the other one was 4 for almost 2 months. One will be 18 a day before college and the other 17 for almost 3 months.
I do think you don't know what you will do when your kids are younger and that is why I say that people on here will eat their words, I assure you on that, about some things.
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| Posted 5/8/16 7:29 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Sash
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
Yes for real.. talk about snide comments but yet throw one back at all the parents whose kids started kindergarten at 4 years old
Not only would my kid be starting college at 17 (knock on wood) but I will be encouraging him to go away to college.
But I still stand by this site is not the norm.. And by that I mean where you have 90% of people saying on here saying they would never let their child do xyz. Maybe a 50/50 split would be more accurate. I think a huge part of it is people posting about it when they have little kids. It's hard when you're not in that stage yet.
My oldest was 4 a week before K start and the other one was 4 for almost 2 months. One will be 18 a day before college and the other 17 for almost 3 months.
I do think you don't know what you will do when your kids are younger and that is why I say that people on here will eat their words, I assure you on that, about some things.
Look, clearly you think what you've done with your kids is the BEST way. But everyone has different priorities and parenting styles. I promise you I won't be "eating my words" because I know what kind of parent I am, what things I will allow as they older, and what I feel is inappropriate for them in the teen years.
As far as this silly argument is concerned, vacations, IMO, are NOT for friends. End of story. Kids will see their friends in school, at sports, etc etc but when it comes to going away, that's family time. I won't change my mind on that. Kids will have their whole life to do their own thing and go away with friends but while they are living home and underage...........it will be family first. I think that time away together as a family is so important no matter what age they are and I have no desire to take my kids friends with us anywhere. Doing that changes the whole dynamic and I don't see the need for it. Not as adolescents. They might want to do that but it's not my job as a parent to give them everything they want.
JMO.
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| Posted 5/8/16 8:14 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
I held my daughter back in K so she would not be going to college at 17. She has an October bday.
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| Posted 5/8/16 9:07 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by Sash
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
Yes for real.. talk about snide comments but yet throw one back at all the parents whose kids started kindergarten at 4 years old
Not only would my kid be starting college at 17 (knock on wood) but I will be encouraging him to go away to college.
But I still stand by this site is not the norm.. And by that I mean where you have 90% of people saying on here they would never let their child do xyz. Maybe a 50/50 split would be more accurate. I think a huge part of it is people posting about it when they have little kids. It's hard when you're not in that stage yet.
If you read what I wrote, I said MY child would not be going to college at 17. I'm glad you will be sending yours if that is what you decided. The whole point of my post was that everyone has the right to think what they want about their OWN child. I personally do not think that a 17 year old should go away to school and it looks like you think they should. I have no problem with that and I would not tell you that what your doing is wrong and I don't except anyone to tell me what I am doing is wrong. There is no way I made a snide comment because to be honest I really don't care what anyone else does with their own children. It's not my place to judge.
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| Posted 5/8/16 9:11 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by Sash
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
Yes for real.. talk about snide comments but yet throw one back at all the parents whose kids started kindergarten at 4 years old
Not only would my kid be starting college at 17 (knock on wood) but I will be encouraging him to go away to college.
But I still stand by this site is not the norm.. And by that I mean where you have 90% of people saying on here they would never let their child do xyz. Maybe a 50/50 split would be more accurate. I think a huge part of it is people posting about it when they have little kids. It's hard when you're not in that stage yet.
If you read what I wrote, I said MY child would not be going to college at 17. I'm glad you will be sending yours if that is what you decided. The whole point of my post was that everyone has the right to think what they want about their OWN child. I personally do not think that a 17 year old should go away to school and it looks like you think they should. I have no problem with that and I would not tell you that what your doing is wrong and I don't except anyone to tell me what I am doing is wrong. There is no way I made a snide comment because to be honest I really don't care what anyone else does with their own children. It's not my place to judge.
I read what you wrote and although I took no offense, I did think it was snarky whether you want to admit it or not.
And even if you didhave your child enter K at 4 and stopped them from going to College at 17 that's your choice.. To each their own it still wouldn't be a reflection on the accurate numbers. Which was my only point.
Message edited 5/8/2016 9:32:20 PM.
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| Posted 5/8/16 9:30 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Sash
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
Yes for real.. talk about snide comments but yet throw one back at all the parents whose kids started kindergarten at 4 years old
Not only would my kid be starting college at 17 (knock on wood) but I will be encouraging him to go away to college.
But I still stand by this site is not the norm.. And by that I mean where you have 90% of people saying on here saying they would never let their child do xyz. Maybe a 50/50 split would be more accurate. I think a huge part of it is people posting about it when they have little kids. It's hard when you're not in that stage yet.
My oldest was 4 a week before K start and the other one was 4 for almost 2 months. One will be 18 a day before college and the other 17 for almost 3 months.
I do think you don't know what you will do when your kids are younger and that is why I say that people on here will eat their words, I assure you on that, about some things.
Look, clearly you think what you've done with your kids is the BEST way. But everyone has different priorities and parenting styles. I promise you I won't be "eating my words" because I know what kind of parent I am, what things I will allow as they older, and what I feel is inappropriate for them in the teen years.
As far as this silly argument is concerned, vacations, IMO, are NOT for friends. End of story. Kids will see their friends in school, at sports, etc etc but when it comes to going away, that's family time. I won't change my mind on that. Kids will have their whole life to do their own thing and go away with friends but while they are living home and underage...........it will be family first. I think that time away together as a family is so important no matter what age they are and I have no desire to take my kids friends with us anywhere. Doing that changes the whole dynamic and I don't see the need for it. Not as adolescents. They might want to do that but it's not my job as a parent to give them everything they want.
JMO.
I know I'm quoting the whole thing but I really want to talk to your point of you "Not Eating your words"... If you haven't then God bless you because you are one of the rare parent that can say this., I know I have done it before and my son is only 7... We go through it with my stepson and he is 18. Almost every parent I know has eaten their words. You aren't the norm just like a kid not going away till their 18 w/o parents is not the norm.
To be honest I'm not there yet so maybe there wont be someone I trust with my son to go away with on vacation. My stepson has done it but maybe I won't trust anyone when my DS is 10 or 11. So I could be reverse eating my words if that makes sense 
Message edited 5/8/2016 9:44:37 PM.
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| Posted 5/8/16 9:40 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Sash
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
Yes for real.. talk about snide comments but yet throw one back at all the parents whose kids started kindergarten at 4 years old
Not only would my kid be starting college at 17 (knock on wood) but I will be encouraging him to go away to college.
But I still stand by this site is not the norm.. And by that I mean where you have 90% of people saying on here saying they would never let their child do xyz. Maybe a 50/50 split would be more accurate. I think a huge part of it is people posting about it when they have little kids. It's hard when you're not in that stage yet.
My oldest was 4 a week before K start and the other one was 4 for almost 2 months. One will be 18 a day before college and the other 17 for almost 3 months.
I do think you don't know what you will do when your kids are younger and that is why I say that people on here will eat their words, I assure you on that, about some things.
Look, clearly you think what you've done with your kids is the BEST way. But everyone has different priorities and parenting styles. I promise you I won't be "eating my words" because I know what kind of parent I am, what things I will allow as they older, and what I feel is inappropriate for them in the teen years.
As far as this silly argument is concerned, vacations, IMO, are NOT for friends. End of story. Kids will see their friends in school, at sports, etc etc but when it comes to going away, that's family time. I won't change my mind on that. Kids will have their whole life to do their own thing and go away with friends but while they are living home and underage...........it will be family first. I think that time away together as a family is so important no matter what age they are and I have no desire to take my kids friends with us anywhere. Doing that changes the whole dynamic and I don't see the need for it. Not as adolescents. They might want to do that but it's not my job as a parent to give them everything they want.
JMO.
You have every right to your opinion and I respect that. I just am speaking IME and others that have been in the journey with me and others with older kids. There are so many things we have said we would never allow or do and as the time comes, some things change as life changes we grow and realize our kids grow and we need to adapt to them growing. Everyone has their limits with raising kids. Sometimes we have to bite the bullet and let them grow. I know as driving was one of the hardest things I have just gone through and would have told you just 6 months ago there was no way my child would be allowed to have a car and go out whenever they wanted (to a point). I insisted over and over to my friends and they told me how much easier my life would be and you will be ok with it and I kept saying no, no, no. Lol. The first day I wanted to follow her in my car, 6 months later, I yell out, be careful, love you, let me know when you will be home. I have had to adapt and with everything with raising kids, you have fears and expectations and then you have to work with them and let them grow and learn. I always freak first and then think about things and usually things are not as bad as I thought in my kind they would be.
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| Posted 5/8/16 9:47 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by Sash
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by KarenK122
My daughter will never go away with out me until she is legal adult. I would also not sent my 17 year old off to college, because they are not a legal adult. Every single child is different and I know what my child can handle and what she can not. That is MY decision for MY child. Yes I would allow another child to join us for day trips/overnights but that is their parent's decision to allow or to not allow. Maybe we just all be considerate of each other's choices and not make snide remarks If you want to set your children off into the world at 9, good for you, if you don't, then good for you too. It amazes me the nastiness of people on this board and how people think their decisions are so much better than others. Unless someone is beating their child, mind your own business and keep your comments respectful.
So you would make your child wait to start college with their peer is their bday was after August or September after their senior year?
Yes for real.. talk about snide comments but yet throw one back at all the parents whose kids started kindergarten at 4 years old
Not only would my kid be starting college at 17 (knock on wood) but I will be encouraging him to go away to college.
But I still stand by this site is not the norm.. And by that I mean where you have 90% of people saying on here they would never let their child do xyz. Maybe a 50/50 split would be more accurate. I think a huge part of it is people posting about it when they have little kids. It's hard when you're not in that stage yet.
If you read what I wrote, I said MY child would not be going to college at 17. I'm glad you will be sending yours if that is what you decided. The whole point of my post was that everyone has the right to think what they want about their OWN child. I personally do not think that a 17 year old should go away to school and it looks like you think they should. I have no problem with that and I would not tell you that what your doing is wrong and I don't except anyone to tell me what I am doing is wrong. There is no way I made a snide comment because to be honest I really don't care what anyone else does with their own children. It's not my place to judge.
Do you really think a month or 2 before 18 makes that much of a difference? Most are driving and working at 17 and many start college. Enjoy the years as they go fast and you will be in my shoes eventually and realize that things and your ideas grow as your children do :)
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| Posted 5/8/16 9:51 PM |
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Sixofus
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/13 594 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
I started taking my bff skiing with us when we were about 9. I would go to her family's jersey shore house in the summer. When I was 11 I went with them for 3 weeks! My oldest is 10-4th grade. I would have no problem sending him away with a good friend. I know all of his friends' parents pretty well. My dc have been away to the Bahamas, California and Florida with their aunts and were fine.
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| Posted 5/9/16 12:44 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Probably high school if at all.
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| Posted 5/9/16 1:54 PM |
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Eunyboo
<3
Member since 7/12 4376 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
First of all, this whole thread is hilarious. LOL.
Second of all, I was never allowed to vacation without my family growing up. My older bro (7+ years) was allowed to bring a friend with us to Portugal the summer before his senior year (17?) and I was allowed to bring a friend on a cruise with my family when I was 17 as well. With that said, my parents were nervous about being responsible for someone else's kid and would never have allowed us to do the same (go with another family), even though they let our friends join us. We are both stable, living adults with degrees and good jobs. So... yeah.
Just do what is right for you.
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| Posted 5/9/16 3:42 PM |
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Sash
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by nferrandi
I have to be honest, I'm surprised at some of the responses.
Ha me too
I'd probably say around 10ish. But like I've said before on these posts, my DS goes to his dad's every other weekend and I have no control on what he does there, so my perspective is a little different.
I also had a summer house growing up and kids definitely starting coming out around 10
This site is not he norm.. I would take it with a grain of salt.
To answer your question: My Stepson was about 10 or 11, I think I would allow the same for my DS for friends of parents I knew well and if he stood over their house before. But since I'm horrible at the whole play date thing it wouldn't come up. My sister has taken my son for a week vacation at the shore when he was 5.
No it is not as I don't get how some people wouldn't allow their kids to go on vacation with a friend and family until 18 but their kids might be 17 when they start college. I actually feel bad for all these kids as it doesn't sound like many of them have fun childhoods anymore. No sleepovers, no being independent.
You are kidding right? You used to make these snide comments all the time...and I see you making them on your new name here also. Because a family doesn't allow their kids to go away on someone else's family vacation doesn't mean they are deprived or have zero fun in their lives. How silly.
No, depriving your kids of doing things that kids do is not having fun and allowing them to grow. Yes, each child is different but the majority of them would like to have friends and do things with them. I have read enough comments on this board that show that many parents are holding their kids back now for fears of parents that are unjust.
So because someone doesn't allow sleepovers, or for their children to go on vacation solo with other families, that means they don't have fun or even have friends? Seriously, get a life. Your responses are just so ridiculous for everything on here. There are plenty of people that grow up to be independent adults that didn't have sleepovers and vacations with other families.
I get that, I really do. I don't get the parents who won't allow them to do anything for their own fears. Our job is to allow our children to grow and flourish and yes sometimes that means letting go. I can't see how you can say a child can not do this or that until they are 18. Slow and steady wins the race.
Our job is to keep our children SAFE! And I don't get how not letting my kids stay at a friends house over night is depriving them of EVERYTHING fun in life. Sorry but NO ONE is taking my kid away on vacation with them unless I am going too! 18 is the time when you can go to college and go to spring break! Don't forget we live in a different world then when we were all young. We rode our bicycles without helmets, all over town with no adults at 7-8-9...I wouldn't dream of letting my kids do that now! Times have changed.
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| Posted 5/9/16 10:21 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by CookieMomster
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by Sash
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by nferrandi
I have to be honest, I'm surprised at some of the responses.
Ha me too
I'd probably say around 10ish. But like I've said before on these posts, my DS goes to his dad's every other weekend and I have no control on what he does there, so my perspective is a little different.
I also had a summer house growing up and kids definitely starting coming out around 10
This site is not he norm.. I would take it with a grain of salt.
To answer your question: My Stepson was about 10 or 11, I think I would allow the same for my DS for friends of parents I knew well and if he stood over their house before. But since I'm horrible at the whole play date thing it wouldn't come up. My sister has taken my son for a week vacation at the shore when he was 5.
No it is not as I don't get how some people wouldn't allow their kids to go on vacation with a friend and family until 18 but their kids might be 17 when they start college. I actually feel bad for all these kids as it doesn't sound like many of them have fun childhoods anymore. No sleepovers, no being independent.
You are kidding right? You used to make these snide comments all the time...and I see you making them on your new name here also. Because a family doesn't allow their kids to go away on someone else's family vacation doesn't mean they are deprived or have zero fun in their lives. How silly.
No, depriving your kids of doing things that kids do is not having fun and allowing them to grow. Yes, each child is different but the majority of them would like to have friends and do things with them. I have read enough comments on this board that show that many parents are holding their kids back now for fears of parents that are unjust.
So because someone doesn't allow sleepovers, or for their children to go on vacation solo with other families, that means they don't have fun or even have friends? Seriously, get a life. Your responses are just so ridiculous for everything on here. There are plenty of people that grow up to be independent adults that didn't have sleepovers and vacations with other families.
I get that, I really do. I don't get the parents who won't allow them to do anything for their own fears. Our job is to allow our children to grow and flourish and yes sometimes that means letting go. I can't see how you can say a child can not do this or that until they are 18. Slow and steady wins the race.
Our job is to keep our children SAFE! And I don't get how not letting my kids stay at a friends house over night is depriving them of EVERYTHING fun in life. Sorry but NO ONE is taking my kid away on vacation with them unless I am going too! 18 is the time when you can go to college and go to spring break! Don't forget we live in a different world then when we were all young. We rode our bicycles without helmets, all over town with no adults at 7-8-9...I wouldn't dream of letting my kids do that now! Times have changed.
Times haven't changed. The amount of media we have has changed and parents have changed. Things happened when we were kids as I know many stories. It just wasn't out there for everyone to see and shoved down your throat like it is now.
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| Posted 5/10/16 10:51 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Times HAVE changed, despite what people say. The world is more populated, statistically there is more crime. There are more issues relating to terrorism, etc. There is the internet now, which leads to how many cases a year of kids meeting up with someone that has ill intent? It's definitely not the same world we grew up in.
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| Posted 5/10/16 12:03 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by BargainMama
Times HAVE changed, despite what people say. The world is more populated, statistically there is more crime. There are more issues relating to terrorism, etc. There is the internet now, which leads to how many cases a year of kids meeting up with someone that has ill intent? It's definitely not the same world we grew up in.
Yes ITA with you on the internet thing and being different. I don't agree that people make it seem like there were never any bad people out there years ago. Yes, we need to be extra safe with whom our kids meet online but I think the whole thing about not letting kids outside to play is ridiculous. It was not any safer then as there kidnappings and such in the 70's and 80's.
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| Posted 5/10/16 12:21 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Times HAVE changed, despite what people say. The world is more populated, statistically there is more crime. There are more issues relating to terrorism, etc. There is the internet now, which leads to how many cases a year of kids meeting up with someone that has ill intent? It's definitely not the same world we grew up in.
Yes ITA with you on the internet thing and being different. I don't agree that people make it seem like there were never any bad people out there years ago. Yes, we need to be extra safe with whom our kids meet online but I think the whole thing about not letting kids outside to play is ridiculous. It was not any safer then as there kidnappings and such in the 70's and 80's.
Who said they don't let their kids outside to play? This thread is about going on vacation with another family.
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| Posted 5/10/16 12:33 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Times HAVE changed, despite what people say. The world is more populated, statistically there is more crime. There are more issues relating to terrorism, etc. There is the internet now, which leads to how many cases a year of kids meeting up with someone that has ill intent? It's definitely not the same world we grew up in.
Yes ITA with you on the internet thing and being different. I don't agree that people make it seem like there were never any bad people out there years ago. Yes, we need to be extra safe with whom our kids meet online but I think the whole thing about not letting kids outside to play is ridiculous. It was not any safer then as there kidnappings and such in the 70's and 80's.
Who said they don't let their kids outside to play? This thread is about going on vacation with another family.
Cookiemomster, just a few posts above yours. lol
"Our job is to keep our children SAFE! And I don't get how not letting my kids stay at a friends house over night is depriving them of EVERYTHING fun in life. Sorry but NO ONE is taking my kid away on vacation with them unless I am going too! 18 is the time when you can go to college and go to spring break! Don't forget we live in a different world then when we were all young. We rode our bicycles without helmets, all over town with no adults at 7-8-9...I wouldn't dream of letting my kids do that now! Times have changed."
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| Posted 5/10/16 12:38 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Times HAVE changed, despite what people say. The world is more populated, statistically there is more crime. There are more issues relating to terrorism, etc. There is the internet now, which leads to how many cases a year of kids meeting up with someone that has ill intent? It's definitely not the same world we grew up in.
Yes ITA with you on the internet thing and being different. I don't agree that people make it seem like there were never any bad people out there years ago. Yes, we need to be extra safe with whom our kids meet online but I think the whole thing about not letting kids outside to play is ridiculous. It was not any safer then as there kidnappings and such in the 70's and 80's.
Who said they don't let their kids outside to play? This thread is about going on vacation with another family.
Cookiemomster, just a few posts above yours. lol
"Our job is to keep our children SAFE! And I don't get how not letting my kids stay at a friends house over night is depriving them of EVERYTHING fun in life. Sorry but NO ONE is taking my kid away on vacation with them unless I am going too! 18 is the time when you can go to college and go to spring break! Don't forget we live in a different world then when we were all young. We rode our bicycles without helmets, all over town with no adults at 7-8-9...I wouldn't dream of letting my kids do that now! Times have changed."
Huge difference in letting your kids play outside and riding their bikes all over town ;) I would NEVER let my 7/8/9 ride their bikes all over town around here. They would get ran over! People drive like lunatics these days!! Texting while driving, talking on their phones, they don't stop at stop signs. NO WAY!
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| Posted 5/10/16 2:04 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by blessedmama
Posted by BargainMama
Times HAVE changed, despite what people say. The world is more populated, statistically there is more crime. There are more issues relating to terrorism, etc. There is the internet now, which leads to how many cases a year of kids meeting up with someone that has ill intent? It's definitely not the same world we grew up in.
Yes ITA with you on the internet thing and being different. I don't agree that people make it seem like there were never any bad people out there years ago. Yes, we need to be extra safe with whom our kids meet online but I think the whole thing about not letting kids outside to play is ridiculous. It was not any safer then as there kidnappings and such in the 70's and 80's.
Who said they don't let their kids outside to play? This thread is about going on vacation with another family.
Cookiemomster, just a few posts above yours. lol
"Our job is to keep our children SAFE! And I don't get how not letting my kids stay at a friends house over night is depriving them of EVERYTHING fun in life. Sorry but NO ONE is taking my kid away on vacation with them unless I am going too! 18 is the time when you can go to college and go to spring break! Don't forget we live in a different world then when we were all young. We rode our bicycles without helmets, all over town with no adults at 7-8-9...I wouldn't dream of letting my kids do that now! Times have changed."
Huge difference in letting your kids play outside and riding their bikes all over town ;) I would NEVER let my 7/8/9 ride their bikes all over town around here. They would get ran over! People drive like lunatics these days!! Texting while driving, talking on their phones, they don't stop at stop signs. NO WAY!
Yeah I get you, it is very scary out there. No doubt about it.
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| Posted 5/10/16 2:46 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?
I don't know why this is such a heated snarky debate -
If you want to let your kid go, or bring someone else's kid with you ........if that's what happens in your circle, great. It's obviouisly your norm.
If you can't fathom the idea and it makes youi sick to your stomach to even consider it, totally understandable (IMO)
The more I think about it, I don't know what posessed me to say I'd be ok with it at 10 .......
I'd probably never be OK with it because for as much as I may love and trust the other parent, I don't think I'd be ok with anyone taking my kid on vacation without me. I'd never be 100% comfortable with it, I also, personally see no REASON for it.
My kids are spoiled, we take them everywhere, but we do it as a family, it's our time to reconnect without any distraction of work, sports, family obligations, house obligations, etc.
Again, I can see why it would appeal to a family with an only child .....but even then, I wouldn't feel comfrotable taking responsibility for someone else's child for that type of trip - I don't think an overnight sleepover at a friend's house is comparable to a weekend or week long vacation away .......
I also, though, think I would have a difficult time telling my son "no" if he was invited - I'd probably end up doing it in the end, but I would absolutely feel guilty about not letting him go
Message edited 5/10/2016 4:28:41 PM.
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| Posted 5/10/16 4:27 PM |
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