Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

Posted by MarisaK

I don't know why this is such a heated snarky debate -

If you want to let your kid go, or bring someone else's kid with you ........if that's what happens in your circle, great. It's obviouisly your norm.

If you can't fathom the idea and it makes youi sick to your stomach to even consider it, totally understandable (IMO)

The more I think about it, I don't know what posessed me to say I'd be ok with it at 10 .......

I'd probably never be OK with it because for as much as I may love and trust the other parent, I don't think I'd be ok with anyone taking my kid on vacation without me. I'd never be 100% comfortable with it, I also, personally see no REASON for it.
My kids are spoiled, we take them everywhere, but we do it as a family, it's our time to reconnect without any distraction of work, sports, family obligations, house obligations, etc.

Again, I can see why it would appeal to a family with an only child .....but even then, I wouldn't feel comfrotable taking responsibility for someone else's child for that type of trip - I don't think an overnight sleepover at a friend's house is comparable to a weekend or week long vacation away .......

I also, though, think I would have a difficult time telling my son "no" if he was invited - I'd probably end up doing it in the end, but I would absolutely feel guilty about not letting him go

Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

"But I would definitely allow it before 18 because I almost think its irresponsible to never let a kid go away anywhere without me, even a friend's parents, and then drop them off in a new place with no supervision for college. I feel shorter stints away better prepares them for that gradually. IME, those are the kids who go buckwild as soon as they get to college because they don't know how to handle being away on their own independently at all... "

EXACTLY my point.

Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

Ok, I'm the original poster so I thought I would add my two cents and address some things I've read along the way.
First off, I stand behind my original thought of around 8-10 being an ok my age to let MY child go away with another family. I also started sending my DS to sleep away camp last summer- entrusting him to basically strangers for 2 weeks. And he loved every minute, every new experience, every new friend. I was happy we were able to provide him that experience. But I can totally understand another parent feeling different. That said, waiting until your child is 18 is a bit much in MY opinion. But I believe 100% to each his own.
As for vacations being family time, I agree. And we do take trips just as our family. We also take trips with extended family. We sometimes take trips with our friends and their kids. I go on trips with my mom friends and all the kids. Occasionally I take my kids away alone if DH can't get off work. I also go on a few ladies trips. And usually 2 short trips alone with DH. My point is, I love to go away. And I like to mix it up. I'm fine with bringing an extra kid or two away with us. I don't think it's impeeding on my family time.
And I'm not sure how sending 17 year olds to college came into play, but I was one of them. I went away and didn't turn 18 until halfway through my freshman year (January bday). My older DS will go at 17 too (late October bday). I also went to Cancun for spring break my senior year of high school and was barely 17. Again, this is something I see no issue with.
But that just goes to show, every parent is going to feel different. Every parent is going to make what they feel is the best decision for their family. It is not for me, or anyone else, to say what is right or wrong. And no one here should be judging anyone else's decisions. We're all grown ups and we should all parent the best way we see fit.

Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

I went away with friends or to visit friends that moved away without my family 3x starting when I was 12.5. I also went to college at 17.

As for my kids - I'm not sure what I will do.... I will address it when the time comes. At 6 and 4, they have not been asked to go away with another family (without us) and have not had sleepovers besides at a grandparent's house (without us). A lot will depend on the person asking. Like if his best friend today's parents asked, I would say no, I don't feel comfortable (at any age).

Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

We are actually dealing with this now. My (soon to be 7) daughter's best friend's mom asked about taking her on a weekend trip an amusement park. Her friend is an only child, which is one of the reasons they wanted my daughter to go. When they asked me, I was unsure. I talked about it with my husband and he thought that she should have a sleepover together first as a trial run to make sure my daughter was comfortable with them (she has slept over other's houses, but only with her cousin and ou very close neighbor so far).

I guess I land in the whole "takes a community" version of parenting. That's not to downplay the safety aspect, but at a certain point I feel like it's best for all of us (my family) if we are able to have an extended family with our/her friends. It sounds like a lot of people would be ok with this if family was involved, so maybe it is just a matter of perception.

I kind of agree with vacations being family time. This year we are spending 5 days in Toronto, just the four of us, and then meeting my friend and her family in Niagara Falls for the weekend, which seemed like a perfect combination to me. I thought about inviting my niece to come with us but I really want an extended time of just the 4 of us, as it is so rare.

Finally, I have been humbled by how many times I have been wrong, or my opinion has changed about parenting issues. I will almost never say "I would never do this" or "I will always do this" because the truth is we just don't know. And, as others have pointed out, kids are different. I may not consider letting my younger daughter go away with friends at a similar age.

Interesting topic, and timely for me, at least!

Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?

Re: Spinoff- at what age would you let DC go away with a friend?