spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

When i was reading the MIL vent post, i noticed a lot of girls mentioning that they wouldnt want their mothers in the room either, and i started thinking that maybe im an oddball...
my mom hasnt mentioned it or asked, but unless she's opposed to being there, I'd like her in the room. Is that weird? Maybe its bc she's my mom and just very calming/soothing - and dh really doesnt possess those traits... but maybe its bc she was a delivery room nurse for 30 years, so i know she's seen it all/done it all when it comes to that. Maybe I'd feel differently if that hadnt been her career, i dont know.
anyway, how do you all feel? Is anyone having their moms there during delivery?

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

My mom is not like that...... my dh is the calm relaxed person. after I delivered I then found out she was in the waiting room. she came in and yelled at the nurses because they took the baby away to the NICU and she didn't get to see him. She then also yelled that the dr took 28 hrs of labor and must have done something wrong---- still complaining when I told her I love my dr.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

My mom was the one who held my hand when I got the epidural. DH isn't good at handling needles/IVs. Both my mom and DH were with me during my long induction. When I ended up with a c-section, DH was the only one allowed in the OR. My parents were able to come into the recovery room shortly after I was wheeled in there, which was nice.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

My mom is an obnoxious selfish b* with nothing positive to say EVER. I was glad she was 500+ miles away when I had DD. Now she's moved nearby and I expect her to stay far, far away from the hospital while I'm giving birth. We do not get along well and all she does is aggravate and annoy me.

That said, my dad and I get along GREAT and I would have and would love if he were around to see me in this hospital this time. But unfortunately he has a wedding to go to in CA the week before I'm due so it's unlikely he'll be around.

The only person I wanted with me last time was DH (besides the nurse of course). Things worked great.

I think a lot of it has to do with your relationship to your parents and the type of person your mother is. My mom was SUPER negative when I told her I was pregnant (but I was expecting it). Her exact response to my saying that DD was going to be a big sister was "Already?" You don't forget stuff like that.

I hope someday that my relationship with DD (and baby #2) are as good as some of you have with your moms!

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

My mom said to me she thinks it should be just my DH. That it's our time. But if I needed her she would come in. Well peanut came 3 weeks early and they were in FL so they missed the birth by a day but I really only needed DH there and I'm glad it was just us.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

I love my mom but her energy would NOT be good for me in the delivery room. She just gets soooo nervous, anxious, critical whenever there is a high stress situation. Yeah...not allowed! DH is very, very, calming. I only want him there.

However, I don't think it's odd if moms are in the delivery room. it all depends on their personalities and your relationship

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

You're not alone..I plan to have my mom and DH in the delivery room. I love my mom so much and I cant imagine her NOT being there. I will be depending on her to calm me down

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

you're not an oddball at all!! My best friend had her mom in the room when she delivered, but like your mom, hers was a nurse as well and knew she could handle all the stuff going on. My mom on the other hand is scattered and would honestly get in the way in the delivery room! So, it's best she's not in there, and I honestly would not be surprised if my MIL asked to come in the room!! Fortunately that is not a topic that has come up yet (yet! lol).

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

I love my Mom VERY much - we have a great relationship. That being said, she gets very anxious and it would drive me NUTS in L&D. DH and I think delivery is a time for us and not our parents.

If having Mom there will make you happy, that is great!!!

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

i already told my mom that she isnt going to be in the delivery room only DH. She is a very nervous person and although i know she would love to be in there I dont think I could handle her and labor at the same time.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

DH is not a calming, soothing person at all - he is very nervous and high-strung. I am very close with my mom and I know she would be calming in a labor situation, but for some reason - I still feel more comfortable with just DH with me in the room. My mom wants to be in the waiting room - just in case I need her and so she can see the baby, which is good enough for me. I just feel like it's DH and my time and I want to be with him and the baby alone for a little while. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer - it's whatever you feel comfortable with.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

i couldn't imagine not having my mother with me. she was there along with my DH. i just felt she deserved to be there welcoming her granddaughter into the world! she never asked to, but was honored when i told her there wasn't a second thought about me wanting her there

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

You are not an odd ball. It all depends on the person. Some want others aside from their spouse and others don't. I personally only want DH.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

I love my mom more than anything and we are super, super close, but she was not in the delivery room (or even at the hospital) when I had my DC. I will do the same this time.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

My mom stayed with me for my 22 hours of labor and if I didn't end up with a csec she would have been in the room when dd was born. I wanted her to be there to see her first grand baby be born. My mom and I are best friends. I felt bad when I had to have a csec and could only have one person in the OR with me!

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

Crashing, but having my mom with me was one of the best decisions I made. Having her there kept DH and I calm. When the $h!t hit the fan, it gave my DH someone to lean on - otherwise he would've been alone.

It depends on your relationship with her though. If you and your mother are close, and she's a calming person, definitely consider having her.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

I think it all depends on the relationship between mother/daughter and even dh

my mom...even though she is a nurse she had mentioned once that she wouldnt want to be in the room...I really didnt want her in there anyway...I wanted that moment just for dh and I

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

i know i replied to the other one as well, but i would have loved to have my mother in the delivery room- if she was a different person. The last thing i need is her feeling sorry for myself as my bottom is being ripped in two.. i dont need to hear about hwo my dad was there in spirit or any other non helpful comment she could come up with.. Just two negative and my Dh is a very calming force in my life.. he was adament that he did not want her there to do this negativity.. i agree.. but i feel bad for her, and have a hard time saying no.. so.. he did it for me..

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

These responses totally make sense... i can definitely see how so many things play into it.
my mom was there helping to deliver my brother/SIL's first born so im sure she wouldnt be opposed to being there for mine. I think she will have a calming effect on me AND dh. I wouldnt say my mom and dh are 'close' but they def have a good relationship; i know he prefers spending time with my family to his dh is not good with blood, needles, etc and i feel like it is going to be very overwhelming for him - so if my mom is there, who has been through the process thousands of times, we will both have someone to turn to.
I wouldnt say my mom is my bf but i am close with her and the older i get, the closer we get. Like i said she was there for the birth of my nephew 16yrs ago but my brother has virtually nothing to do with our fam anymore and my sister lived OOS when she had my niece - so i also think being there would mean a lot to my mom.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

DH and I were discussing this today. I want my mom in the delivery room with me.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

I want my mom to be in the delivery room with me too.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

At first, I just wanted it to be DH and I. I ended up asking my mom if she wanted to be there and I am so glad I did! DH was wonderful, but nobody cares for you like a mom!

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

My mom was in the delivery room with me and DH during my first delivery and I am planning on having her there for the second. DH insisted on having her there because he was nervous about coaching me. I was happy that my mom was there to share in the moment because she has been battling cancer for several years and having her there to see the birth of her first grandchild was all the more special. With that said, I did have one rule.... She had to stand by my head and couldn't look below (KWIM?). I have to say that both DH and my mom were amazing in the delivery room and it was a great experience and I am hoping to be able to do it again this time around.

Re: spinoff to MIL vent... moms in delivery room?

If you had asked me prior to giving birth who I wanted there I would have only said my DW.
After going through it.... I only needed my mom there. Having my DW was just added bonus. Yes it was wonderful to have dw there to see the start of our family, but mom got me through the entire thing. and my mom is also a nurse. not exclusively delivery room, but she has been there many times with patients. She said it was a completely different experience being there for her grandchildren (i had twins) birth.