Spoiling the SK

Does anyone else have to deal with the biological parents and grandparents totally spoiling the SK? I am worried that this will be a bigger issue as SS gets older and wants more stuff. But already he has a bike, trampoline, all sorts of sporting equipment, a whole floor full of toys, tons of movies, stuffed animals, etc. and SS is only with us 1/7 of the week on average! At least twice a month I feel like DH's parents give him new toys, it is to the point where he plays with it once or twice and then he is already getting something new.

Re: Spoiling the SK

It seems like many children in general are spoiled these days ( my own included )

And in divided families maybe more so, because of overcompensating by one or both parents and to a degree competition ...Its almost inevitable ...We are in a generation of "stuff" as I call it

Re: Spoiling the SK

I agree. This happens with all kids. Both my stepkids and my nieces/nephews all have so much "stuff" and yet they always want something new which, like you said, they play with for a second.

Re: Spoiling the SK

I agree with the OP's. I can understand the parents and families need to overcompensate but you are just hurting the child in my opinion by buying them everything. I base my opinion on my experience with my SS.

My SS is almost 18. He's gotten everything he's ever wanted. Either he played with it once, broke it or lost it. Everyone continued to buy him stuff knowing that he can't take care of his sh!t. He has actually lost friends b/c he was so spoiled. Now he's at the point where he feels as if hes entitled to everything and if we say no he doesn't understand why he can't have something.

BYW... SS doesn't have a job and make his own money either.

Re: Spoiling the SK

I definately agree with PPs that DHs and extended family overcompensate in many areas....material things and disciplinary areas.

I agree, they are not teaching them a darn thing by doing that and it only continues as they get older. I even had SD tell me off b/c I did not buy her an iPod for Christmas one year....I was like..."you have got to be kidding me"..........DH said nothing about it and she ended up getting what she wanted anyway (not from me of course) but I think it sends such a bad message.

Re: Spoiling the SK

Re: Spoiling the SK

Posted by imthecindyofcindyandkevin

Posted by Lucky2008

I even had SD tell me off b/c I did not buy her an iPod for Christmas one year....I was like..."you have got to be kidding me"..........DH said nothing about it and she ended up getting what she wanted anyway (not from me of course) but I think it sends such a bad message.

If that were DD she wouldn't be getting ANYTHING for Christmas except maybe a lump of coal.

Sure she's got "stuff" and sometimes "2-stuff" so she has one at each house but that's bc she's a good kid and deserves to be treated for it. She doesn't get everything she asks for but at Christmastime and for her b-day we do try to get her what she really wants. I understand the guilt and overcompensating, but we don't want a spoiled brat on our hands so we make sure that DD is respectful to everyone and stress that "stuff" isn't as important as love and family. She knows how lucky she is; we're blessed with a very mature kid. I just hope she keeps it up as she enters her teenage years!!

Re: Spoiling the SK

SS is definitely spoiled...he has 12 "grandparents" between all of the separated family members, as many aunts/uncles, and parents that overcompensate in much the same way the pps mentioned...it doesn't do any good to live a life where you don't ever hear "no" and have to deal with not having what you want when you want it...