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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by mommy2devin
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by MrsWoods
I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.
My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.
At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.
Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.
I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.
And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed
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Posted 2/17/22 8:01 AM  |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by mommy2devin
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by MrsWoods
I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.
My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.
At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.
Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.
I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.
And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed
E.X.AC.TLY. It is a trend and MOST of us, as I can't speak for everyone, has NO problem with anyone's sex or gender or what they want to be called. The point is that this they/them thing just started recently and I bet the person who posted (who won't post back to me) about the transgender cousin did NOT just come out recently as her husband is in his 40's too.
Also, what happened to just being called by your name. Most people don't say SHE, they will say my name.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:12 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
I think referring to the use of different pronouns as "trendy" minimizes the person and imparts a bad connotation. What is socially acceptable and what is considered the "norm" is ever shifting. That's a good thing, that's how progress is made.
I cannot begin to imagine the inner struggle of being born one way but then having to live life feeling like an imposter in your own body. None of us can. So the least any of us can do is be compassionate and open to changing our perspective for the inclusion of others. JMO.
ETA - To the ever ignorant windy, who keeps harping on my DH's cousin, she's in her early 20s and yes, only came out as transgender fairly recently as a young teen.
Message edited 2/17/2022 8:19:40 AM.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:16 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by mommy2devin
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by MrsWoods
I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.
My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.
At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.
Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.
I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.
And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed
Also, my neighbor has transgender friends and when I was introduced to them (years ago though so maybe it wasn't the trend then), I was introduced by their names. I honestly don't remember what their names were as I am so bad with names but they were normal everyday names, not, call them they/them or he/she.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:19 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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They/Them
My DD is almost 10 and I haven't heard her use pronouns yet.
My point of view is that I'll address someone however they want me to. I don't see the big deal.
DH and I get into disagreements all the time because he calls people sir and ma'am. I tell him you never know how someone identifies, so stop doing that. LOL.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:20 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
I think referring to the use of different pronouns as "trendy" minimizes the person and imparts a bad connotation. What is socially acceptable and what is considered the "norm" is ever shifting. That's a good thing, that's how progress is made.
I cannot begin to imagine the inner struggle of being born one way but then having to live life feeling like an imposter in your own body. None of us can. So the least any of us can do is be compassionate and open to changing our perspective for the inclusion of others. JMO.
ETA - To the above idiot who keeps harping on my DH's cousin, she's in her early 20s and yes, only came out as transgender fairly recently as a young teen.
Once again, your kindness and compassion shines through. The attributes you think everyone should have with every person no matter their sex or gender.
Again, what happened to actual names? Why are we referring to people as he/she/they/them?
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:21 AM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by mommy2devin
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by MrsWoods
I have multiple Gay friends and family member and they find these pronouns to be ridiculous and just a new trend. My kids do not use them. You are a she or a he regardless of what you do.
My DH has a transgender cousin that feels VERY strongly about which pronouns are used so it's not ridiculous and "trendy" to everyone.
At the end of the day, all anyone needs to do is be respectful of others. If *you* (collective) are asked by someone to refer to them a certain way, you do it whether you like it or not because it's the right thing to do. That's all this whole discussion boils down to.
Right decency and respect are hard for some people. But also, gay and transgender are two very different things.
I have two transgender first cousins, one lesbian sister, one gay uncle and a couple of other friends who are a variety of the above. All have children of their own and all do not require to be called they/them. When did they/them come out …It’s been around since the 14th century, however it’s not till 2017 did it become popular amongst the young generation so yes the TREND of using the terms started with the young generation.
And my children can do whatever they feel comfortable doing. So he/she is what you are called by them. Case closed
E.X.AC.TLY. It is a trend and MOST of us, as I can't speak for everyone, has NO problem with anyone's sex or gender or what they want to be called. The point is that this they/them thing just started recently and I bet the person who posted (who won't post back to me) about the transgender cousin did NOT just come out recently as her husband is in his 40's too.
Also, what happened to just being called by your name. Most people don't say SHE, they will say my name.
Quote from transgender cousin:
“The fact that they/them became popular via celebrities is sad. The trend of those terms is ridiculous. If you became a man, be proud to be called he. You became a woman, be proud to be called she. By being asked to be called they/them, these fools have belittled themselves and have lowered themselves to nothing. Children who are not apart of the community should not be forced to call anyone anything they don’t want to. So if your straight son/daughter feels uncomfortable saying they/them then he/she should accept that. Doesn’t mean they don’t get it, it is doesn’t mean they are a bigot, it only means that they feel comfortable with doing things their way and we should accept that as well”
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:22 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by StaceyWill
My DD is almost 10 and I haven't heard her use pronouns yet.
My point of view is that I'll address someone however they want me to. I don't see the big deal.
DH and I get into disagreements all the time because he calls people sir and ma'am. I tell him you never know how someone identifies, so stop doing that. LOL.
I am sure the person will say, sorry I am a sir or ma'am and it is getting ridiculous that we all have to walk on eggshells in society. You don't have to be mean against anyone but we shouldn't be calling human beings they/them and if they ask you to call them something different than you have addressed them, they you do so.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:23 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
What do names have to do with it? Everyone has a name, that's how everyone introduces themselves. Nothing has changed. But when someone is referring to a person, even when using their name, a pronoun needs to be included.
Example - "I was talking to Mark the other day, HE said he won't be at work on Friday".
Now, if Mark didn't identify with the pronoun "he" and asked that you say "they" it doesn't mean you don't refer to him by name. You just change the pronoun.
You don't seem to understand pronoun usage and I guess that's where your confusion lies. Maybe work on that because your comments on here have come across as very intolerant and ignorant.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:27 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by StaceyWill
My DD is almost 10 and I haven't heard her use pronouns yet.
My point of view is that I'll address someone however they want me to. I don't see the big deal.
DH and I get into disagreements all the time because he calls people sir and ma'am. I tell him you never know how someone identifies, so stop doing that. LOL.
Exactly. ITA.
My son is only in 3RD so he's still clueless about all of this. My daughter is in 8th grade and I would say she started to become more aware of the LGBTQ+ community and things like using various pronouns once she was in middle school. She really thinks nothing about of any of it,she's very good about being tolerant. She's aware that in her school there are a handful of kids that identify a certain way and she has commented that she refers to them however they ask. In her mind, it's not a big deal. I'm glad about that, it's the right attitude to have.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:39 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: They/Them
So for those who feel uncomfortable calling them ‘they’ and want to use what you feel comfortable with, then why not just say ‘hey f*ck*r” if you are comfortable with that. I mean it’s all about your comfort level, so who cares? /s
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:48 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
I think referring to the use of different pronouns as "trendy" minimizes the person and imparts a bad connotation. What is socially acceptable and what is considered the "norm" is ever shifting. That's a good thing, that's how progress is made.
I cannot begin to imagine the inner struggle of being born one way but then having to live life feeling like an imposter in your own body. None of us can. So the least any of us can do is be compassionate and open to changing our perspective for the inclusion of others. JMO.
ETA - To the ever ignorant windy, who keeps harping on my DH's cousin, she's in her early 20s and yes, only came out as transgender fairly recently as a young teen.
Nice try editing your post. You STILL called me an idiot and it is quoted. So explain how kind and compassionate you are to people please......
"ETA - To the above idiot who keeps harping on my DH's cousin, she's in her early 20s and yes, only came out as transgender fairly recently as a young teen."
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:53 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
What do names have to do with it? Everyone has a name, that's how everyone introduces themselves. Nothing has changed. But when someone is referring to a person, even when using their name, a pronoun needs to be included.
Example - "I was talking to Mark the other day, HE said he won't be at work on Friday".
Now, if Mark didn't identify with the pronoun "he" and asked that you say "they" it doesn't mean you don't refer to him by name. You just change the pronoun.
You don't seem to understand pronoun usage and I guess that's where your confusion lies. Maybe work on that because your comments on here have come across as very intolerant and ignorant.
Your example does not fly as you are not speaking directly TO Mark. You can easily say "I was talking to Mark the other day who won't be at work on Friday".
How many times in your life have you had these situations?
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:56 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by StaceyWill
My DD is almost 10 and I haven't heard her use pronouns yet.
My point of view is that I'll address someone however they want me to. I don't see the big deal.
DH and I get into disagreements all the time because he calls people sir and ma'am. I tell him you never know how someone identifies, so stop doing that. LOL.
Exactly. ITA.
My son is only in 3RD so he's still clueless about all of this. My daughter is in 8th grade and I would say she started to become more aware of the LGBTQ+ community and things like using various pronouns once she was in middle school. She really thinks nothing about of any of it,she's very good about being tolerant. She's aware that in her school there are a handful of kids that identify a certain way and she has commented that she refers to them however they ask. In her mind, it's not a big deal. I'm glad about that, it's the right attitude to have.
My son is in 8th. Not one person has come out as trans or gay to my knowledge. How large is your daughter's class that there are already a handful of students? He is in a class of 250.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:57 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: They/Them
Posted by windyweather21
Nice try editing your post. You STILL called me an idiot and it is quoted. So explain how kind and compassionate you are to people please......
Maybe that’s her comfort level *shrug*.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:57 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Windy, you are an idiot and every time you reply back trying to justify your position on this you sound more and more ignorant. It's abundantly clear that you are extremely misinformed on this topic so I'm just going to leave it at that.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:58 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by StaceyWill
My DD is almost 10 and I haven't heard her use pronouns yet.
My point of view is that I'll address someone however they want me to. I don't see the big deal.
DH and I get into disagreements all the time because he calls people sir and ma'am. I tell him you never know how someone identifies, so stop doing that. LOL.
Exactly. ITA.
My son is only in 3RD so he's still clueless about all of this. My daughter is in 8th grade and I would say she started to become more aware of the LGBTQ+ community and things like using various pronouns once she was in middle school. She really thinks nothing about of any of it,she's very good about being tolerant. She's aware that in her school there are a handful of kids that identify a certain way and she has commented that she refers to them however they ask. In her mind, it's not a big deal. I'm glad about that, it's the right attitude to have.
"she has commented that she refers to them however they ask"
That is what we ALL have been saying but you are taking it to another level that everyone is horrible if they say he or she about someone they have NO clue about because we all know the majority of people DO consider themselves the same sex they were born.
How often are you faced with these situations? I bet your daughter knows more kids in school than you ever had.
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| Posted 2/17/22 8:58 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by StaceyWill
My DD is almost 10 and I haven't heard her use pronouns yet.
My point of view is that I'll address someone however they want me to. I don't see the big deal.
DH and I get into disagreements all the time because he calls people sir and ma'am. I tell him you never know how someone identifies, so stop doing that. LOL.
Exactly. ITA.
My son is only in 3RD so he's still clueless about all of this. My daughter is in 8th grade and I would say she started to become more aware of the LGBTQ+ community and things like using various pronouns once she was in middle school. She really thinks nothing about of any of it,she's very good about being tolerant. She's aware that in her school there are a handful of kids that identify a certain way and she has commented that she refers to them however they ask. In her mind, it's not a big deal. I'm glad about that, it's the right attitude to have.
My son is in 8th. Not one person has come out as trans or gay to my knowledge. How large is your daughter's class that there are already a handful of students? He is in a class of 250.
We're in a very small district but she's mentioned that there is a small group of kids who identify themselves with the LGBTQ community and they tend to stick together.
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| Posted 2/17/22 9:01 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Having this conversation reminds me about how my father used to get so upset if we referred to my mom as She/Her in her presence. We were always told to be respectful and call her Mom. And that we should do the same by calling people by their name. If I had a friend over and I said "She wants a soda." My dad would correct me to say "Sally would like a soda." Growing up like that always makes me think that it is so rude to refer to someone as She or Her if they are standing right there. If they are there, you use their name.
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| Posted 2/17/22 9:03 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Windy, you are an idiot and every time you reply back trying to justify your position on this you sound more and more ignorant. It's abundantly clear that you are extremely misinformed on this topic so I'm just going to leave it at that.
You are a total hypocrite so I'm just going to leave it at that. If you can't see that, there is no help for you.
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| Posted 2/17/22 9:04 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: They/Them
Posted by lululu
Having this conversation reminds me about how my father used to get so upset if we referred to my mom as She/Her in her presence. We were always told to be respectful and call her Mom. And that we should do the same by calling people by their name. If I had a friend over and I said "She wants a soda." My dad would correct me to say "Sally would like a soda." Growing up like that always makes me think that it is so rude to refer to someone as She or Her if they are standing right there. If they are there, you use their name.
OMG, yes! My grandfather would get so upset! My sister and I now use it as a joke when we talk about my mother in front of her face. Well that’s not what ‘she’ told us to do. I have been wondering this as well during this thread.
Italian family?
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| Posted 2/17/22 9:06 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by lululu
Having this conversation reminds me about how my father used to get so upset if we referred to my mom as She/Her in her presence. We were always told to be respectful and call her Mom. And that we should do the same by calling people by their name. If I had a friend over and I said "She wants a soda." My dad would correct me to say "Sally would like a soda." Growing up like that always makes me think that it is so rude to refer to someone as She or Her if they are standing right there. If they are there, you use their name.
YES!! My husband feels the same exact way. You are mom or you use their name.
I just don't get why this is so difficult for many as honestly, in my 50 years, I haven't dealt with this at all calling someone he/she/they/them. It is always by their first name, whatever they want to be called and how many times are you speaking of a person who goes by the opposite sex? Is this a daily thing for most?
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| Posted 2/17/22 9:06 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by StaceyWill
My DD is almost 10 and I haven't heard her use pronouns yet.
My point of view is that I'll address someone however they want me to. I don't see the big deal.
DH and I get into disagreements all the time because he calls people sir and ma'am. I tell him you never know how someone identifies, so stop doing that. LOL.
Exactly. ITA.
My son is only in 3RD so he's still clueless about all of this. My daughter is in 8th grade and I would say she started to become more aware of the LGBTQ+ community and things like using various pronouns once she was in middle school. She really thinks nothing about of any of it,she's very good about being tolerant. She's aware that in her school there are a handful of kids that identify a certain way and she has commented that she refers to them however they ask. In her mind, it's not a big deal. I'm glad about that, it's the right attitude to have.
My son is in 8th. Not one person has come out as trans or gay to my knowledge. How large is your daughter's class that there are already a handful of students? He is in a class of 250.
We're in a very small district but she's mentioned that there is a small group of kids who identify themselves with the LGBTQ community and they tend to stick together.
Seems very young but I also live in a very conservative area and so I would assume it would be a little more difficult for someone to come out, especially at 13 or younger.
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| Posted 2/17/22 9:07 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by lululu
Having this conversation reminds me about how my father used to get so upset if we referred to my mom as She/Her in her presence. We were always told to be respectful and call her Mom. And that we should do the same by calling people by their name. If I had a friend over and I said "She wants a soda." My dad would correct me to say "Sally would like a soda." Growing up like that always makes me think that it is so rude to refer to someone as She or Her if they are standing right there. If they are there, you use their name.
My grandmother use to do the same, she thought it was rude to refer to anyone by anything other than their name.
ETA - klingklang....... 100% Italian family here. My grandparents, especially on my dad's side, were very big on respect, especially towards elders, and how you refer to people.
Message edited 2/17/2022 9:09:42 AM.
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| Posted 2/17/22 9:07 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by lululu
Having this conversation reminds me about how my father used to get so upset if we referred to my mom as She/Her in her presence. We were always told to be respectful and call her Mom. And that we should do the same by calling people by their name. If I had a friend over and I said "She wants a soda." My dad would correct me to say "Sally would like a soda." Growing up like that always makes me think that it is so rude to refer to someone as She or Her if they are standing right there. If they are there, you use their name.
OMG, yes! My grandfather would get so upset! My sister and I now use it as a joke when we talk about my mother in front of her face. Well that’s not what ‘she’ told us to do. I have been wondering this as well during this thread.
Italian family?
No my dad was Jewish but his dad was in the army and he grew up in a very strict household, so while my house growing up was not particularly strict I think that there were a few things that stuck.
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| Posted 2/17/22 9:08 AM |
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