Those that are done having kids...

when did you know you were done? How many kids do you have?

I ask this because I always said I wanted 2-3 kids & when my youngest was born 8.5 months ago, I said I was not sure if I was done & I would make my decision by the time I was 35. Well lately, I feel like I am complete even though there is a part of me that still would like to try for another. For me, it has nothing to do with trying for a "girl" more that I just feel my two pregnancies were combined into 1 & I honestly LOVE being pregnant. DH says he is done & that we can comfortably handle 2 kids. In a way, I see it in his eyes bc now that I am pretty much the caretaker 24/7 to my boys, I am not sure I could handle a third.

Ok, enough rambling, just wondering how everyone else made their decision & if somewhere down the line, your decison changed?

Re: Those that are done having kids...

I am due with #2 in June. We are DONE. Financially, its just all we can do. Our house is not big enough for another child and I, mentally, am just done.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

We have 2.

I grew up always thinking I wanted 2 children. After we had DS, I questioned whether or not I wanted to have another.

We ended up pregnant with DD and I just feel totally complete with my 2 children. I don't want to put any more financial strain on my family. I want to be able to live comfortably. I had 2 wonderful pregnancies so it has nothing to do with not wanting to be pregnant again. I honestly don't think I could personally handle more than 2 children.

I also have the thought in my mind that we are so completely blessed with 2 healthy children, I don't want to press my luck.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

I'm due with number 3 in October and I know I am done after this!

It's funny, when we had 2 we kept going back and forth on whether we wanted to go for a 3rd.

Now? No question, we know we are done with this one. I guess that's how you know-when there is just no more doubt or thinking, you just KNOW.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

We are done and I still haven't necessarily come to terms with it. I probably won't until it is realistically impossible to conceive...I'll probably always have that "what if..."

But... We have three. I am over 35. Those two factors sum up why this is it for us. Well, that and my DH telling me, "If you 'turn up' pregnant again, I'm outta here."

I love being pregnant also and I love the idea of a big family, but realistically I know that things would get really tough for me with any more. I don't mind going back to diapers or late-night feedings, but I am sad about my limitations with the older girls right now. I can't take the kids to the beach by myself this summer; I can't take them out to a restaurant alone right now; if DH and I want to go out, babysitting is more limited now; I'd like to go back to work eventually. Those are the reasons I know in my head we are finished even though my heart doesn't know the same...

Re: Those that are done having kids...

If it helps at all, the third pregnancy seems to bite! LOL. I usually love pregnancy and told myself I would cherish this one as my last - not cherishing anything about it ;).
In all seriousness, I don't know if I will feel "done" after my third but I do know that it is probably our limit financially and sanity-wise. For me, I think it will be about knowing when to say when, KWIM?

Re: Those that are done having kids...

We have two kids. We know from before having kids that we only wanted two. For us, two kids are perfect for us in terms of living comfortably financial wise and just could not see myself having alot of kids it is just not me. We are very happy with our two kids and also I feel like I can still make time for myself without having to feel tied down with too much kids...that would be too stressful for me. That is why I went ahead with the tubal ligation.

Message edited 4/6/2011 9:44:14 AM.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

One and Done
I'm 35

I do remember my stats on Down coming back elevated with AJ but she was fine. I can not imagine having that fear again. Nope, no thanks. Call me selfish

I just don't want anymore. I don't want the newborn stage, I don't want the toddler stage. I don't want the vacc debate, I don't want a year of spending in and out of the pediatrics office. I don't want the daycare drama, I don't want the return to work part. I don't want the financial FEAR.

I want nothing of it

I love my daughter and every moment before and now is precious. I appreciated her newborn stage and just absorbed her. I love her toddler stage filled with smiles and new experiences. I loved watching her smile, stand, walk, talk for the first time. I love the sound of her voice singing twinkle twinkle and that she says "love you mom".

The whole only child thing is a crock in my mind. I'm very happy with just one. I can't imagine dealing with more than one and for the people who keep telling me "Youre not a parent until you have two" can just bite me!

IUD is in place.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

WE have 2 and we are done.

I have 2 healty happy girls and they keep me plenty busy. I miss the fact that I'll never be pregnant again, but I don't see how we can afford to have another one.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

Posted by Xelindrya

One and Done
I'm 35

I do remember my stats on Down coming back elevated with AJ but she was fine. I can not imagine having that fear again. Nope, no thanks. Call me selfish

I just don't want anymore. I don't want the newborn stage, I don't want the toddler stage. I don't want the vacc debate, I don't want a year of spending in and out of the pediatrics office. I don't want the daycare drama, I don't want the return to work part. I don't want the financial FEAR.

I want nothing of it

I love my daughter and every moment before and now is precious. I appreciated her newborn stage and just absorbed her. I love her toddler stage filled with smiles and new experiences. I loved watching her smile, stand, walk, talk for the first time. I love the sound of her voice singing twinkle twinkle and that she says "love you mom".

The whole only child thing is a crock in my mind. I'm very happy with just one. I can't imagine dealing with more than one and for the people who keep telling me "Youre not a parent until you have two" can just bite me!

IUD is in place.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

I am on #2 now, due in 2 weeks. We are done after this. For me, 2 is what we both always wanted. 2 to me is a reasonable # for us in terms of what we want in our lives. We want to be able to provide a certain lifestyle for our kids and help them as they get older and start their own famililes. We want to take them on vacations as kids, we dont want them to have to do without.

Also I hate being pregnant. And I told DH last night this pregnancy has been harder on me and I dont feel like I can be the mom I want to be when I am pregnant.

So although I never say never...(I was a surprise child myself) Both Dh and I say we are done after #2 regardless of gender or anything...we just feel this is where we are supposed to stop.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

Posted by Xelindrya

and for the people who keep telling me "Youre not a parent until you have two" can just bite me!

Re: Those that are done having kids...

We plan on having one more. DS will 7 months in a few days and we said we will try again when he is 2-2.5 - GOD willing.

I will stop at 2 - be it girl or boy. DH wants a DD but I'm not up to being pregnant more than 2 times.

Honestly, we can't afford more than 2. We are in a 1 bedroom co-op right now and saving for a house is proving to be much more difficult than we thought.

I will happy and done with 2 - if GOD wants it that way.

ETA: I mentally can't handle more than 2 kids. I will end up in the looney bin

Message edited 4/6/2011 9:52:15 AM.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

Re: Those that are done having kids...

We only wanted two kids. When I was pg with twins I was thinking maybe we would have a third but after having them and the expense and what they did to my stomach we decided that we were done. Our family is complete, I had my tubes tied last year when I was 33. I am possibly open to adopting if we ever feel like we want another child but at this point I don't think it is even possible. I am happy where we are at as a fmaily, I can't imagine going back to the baby stage and diapers, etc.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

We have 2 little girls! While I would love to have another child, we know it is not within our means to have another. My DH is a SAHD during the day and works PT evenings. He would like to return to the full-time workforce in the near future. Having the option, we have chosen not to have our children in daycare. So DH and I work opposite schedules, which works for our family BUT it does mean that we sacrifice our full family time together. During the week, DH and I are like 2 ships that pass in the night. In addition to that, we live in a small ranch and I don't think we could live comfortably with another child in it. Not to mention cost of activities for the children and one day college.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

I am 33 and just had my third. I honestly don't feel done, but I am. Maybe thats because I had two pregnancies instead of three?
We are done because of two reasons - 1) financial/space - there's no way we could fit 4 kids comfortably in our house - 3 is pushing it, and as of right now and for the foreseeable future, our financial situation will not allow us to add on or move to a larger house.
2) DH is done. I will not even try to convince him for another, I did that with #3, he would have been happy with 2. And he loves our newest DD, no doubt about that, but I know for sure he doesn't want any more kids.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

With the trouble we had conceiving at first was our decision maker. Repeated losses and the fear of more was another. Age came next. But the health issues I had with with DD#2 and that it took me 2 years to recover, I knew I was done once she was born. That alone scared me while having to take care of a toddler at the time. I just could not do that to my children if it were to happen with the next pregnancy as well

Re: Those that are done having kids...

Kris, need I TELL you and explain

I wanted two, I got more than I asked for.

Happy and DONE!

Re: Those that are done having kids...

We said 2-3 before we got married. DS #1 was a tough baby, and is still a tough 4yr old. DH could have been one and done. I pushed for #2 and agreed that it would be our last. Well DS2 was such an easy baby, I started thinking about having another. But now that he's getting older I really feel complete. Right now a third is not even a blip on my radar. I'm not a fortune teller, but I am 99.9% sure we are done.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

we are done and i have 2 kids.

for me it was the slew of problems i have with my pregnancy.. that if i got pregnant again it would pretty much be the same. i don't know if i can go through that again and the possibility of pre term labor again.. its just way to scary for me.

and also the getting pregnant part.. not sure if we would be able to get pregnant on our own.. because i wouldn't go through IF anymore.

and most of all.. the age factor with both me and DH

Re: Those that are done having kids...

I have 2 boys and did want to have a girl.

I have miserable pregnancies and don't think I can go through that again while juggling 2 young children. Plus I don't want to have kids after age 35 and I'll be 33 next month. I wouldn't want another until another 3-4 years and I think I would be too old then.

I am done. I already gave away my maternity clothes.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

I'm expecting DC#2 and I think after this be it another boy or a girl we're done. I'm 35 and relly don't want to deal with alll things baby in my 40's. I want to be done with diapers and potty training and looking at the monitor every 3 secs, etc before 40 and that means this is it. DH agrees for the most part but said to wait and see how I feel when we find out the se x of this new DC and then decide. But I'm think I'm done. There are days I can barely handle 1 (DS) now that we're having our second I don't know how I'm gonna do it.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

I thought I would have 2 kids.

Then we had DS#2 and I knew I wasn't done.
I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. I think if I didn't get a taste of pregnancy and picture what my life would be like with three kids I may have stopped at 2 - but now I want a third.

I know for a fact, without a doubt, 100%, that I will stop at 3 kids. I don't care if it's another boy. I would never have 4 c-sections. I would never have enough sanity for 4 kids. I want to sleep again someday in the next ten years.

Re: Those that are done having kids...

Thanks ladies....As the days go on, I find myself feeling more & more like I am complete with two. We have had our share of ups & downs with both boys & I am so grateful for them & keep telling myself not to chance it with a third. I know DH is working his butt off (I am a SAHM) & financially two is the best for our family.

I guess I will just need to come to terms with being done completely & I am sure that will take some time. I have already decided to have my tubes tied but I will not be doing that until I am 100% sure. Thanks again for all your input. I think I just needed to heard other peoples views to really set myself up for being done.....