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MrsBurgos09
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 915 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Those that go or church with your kids...
In general how do they behave? So I'm catholic and they don't have a "kids mass" it's regular mass with more families, kids choir and often times the homily is geared to the kids and they sit around the altar with the priest. It's nice...
I struggle with DS 4.5 keeping him engaged during mass - so I a bring coloring book and maybe a fruit snack nothing big... he's getting better some Sunday's.
Leaving church today this lady says - can I give you advise - just ignore him it will be better - better off for you and him...
DH and I are a little annoyed... I mean if we ignore him people criticize if we don't we get criticized...
Anyone have similar experiences ... thoughts??
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Posted 6/4/17 10:08 AM  |
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FTM427
LIF Adult
Member since 1/12 1261 total posts
Name:
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Those that go or church with your kids...
I say ignore HER and do what you think is best for your child and for you! It's never easy for a child to sit still/quiet for long periods of time. Do whatever you need to do to keep them occupied so that you can enjoy the mass. If you ignore him...wouldn't he just get loud? I know my kids would!
Message edited 6/4/2017 10:11:54 AM.
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| Posted 6/4/17 10:10 AM |
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted by MrsBurgos09
In general how do they behave? So I'm catholic and they don't have a "kids mass" it's regular mass with more families, kids choir and often times the homily is geared to the kids and they sit around the altar with the priest. It's nice...
I struggle with DS 4.5 keeping him engaged during mass - so I a bring coloring book and maybe a fruit snack nothing big... he's getting better some Sunday's.
Leaving church today this lady says - can I give you advise - just ignore him it will be better - better off for you and him...
DH and I are a little annoyed... I mean if we ignore him people criticize if we don't we get criticized...
Anyone have similar experiences ... thoughts??
Ok first of all shame on that woman for saying something. I'm a behavior analyst and I would LOVE to just give some people advice, however, it is rude and not my place by anymeans. Next, he's 4.5, young, he may not find mass interesting or stimulating. Bringing a coloring book and a small snack is perfectly acceptable and appropriate for his age. You don't need to ignore your child, you engage him and manage him how you feel is appropriate and from your post it sounds like you are doing an awesome job. It's not like he's running through church tearing the place down!
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| Posted 6/4/17 10:12 AM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
I started bringing DS to church before he started kindergarten b/c he was going to catholic school. He was almost 6. and still had a very hard time sitting still and being engaged. and our mass doesnt sound like yours..kids dont sit on the altar or are a focus. they do have a kids choir 1x a month.
Honestly, I find it hard to be engaged during mass sometimes.
keep doing what you're doing. and if he gets disruptive to other people, then leave. I hate when people have crying or screaming babies / toddlers and just try to ignore them. they are disruptive to everyone around them.
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| Posted 6/4/17 11:03 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Those that go or church with your kids...
I hate when other people, especially total strangers, try to give parenting advice, no matter where we are. I took my kids to Kohls a couple weeks ago on one of the really hot days we had since we didn't have our air conditioners set up in our house yet, so I was just trying to cool them off for a little while in the store a/c. So the woman cleaning the bathrooms felt the need to point at my baby in his carseat in the snap n go stroller and shake her head and say "No bueno, too hot". I was pretty irritated bc why is that any of her business? DS was much cooler in his carseat in A/C vs. In our 90+ degree house. Nothing to do with church, but just a recent time a stranger failed to MYOB. If I were you I would just keep doing what your doing, bring toys/coloring books and snacks to help keep your son occupied. Whatever works for you.
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| Posted 6/4/17 3:08 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Those that go or church with your kids...
Don't listen to people. Some people thing they know everything and are just annoying. You are doing the right thing by trying to keep him entertained. I would just try to sit in the back though, if you are not so he is not disturbing anyone.
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| Posted 6/4/17 4:19 PM |
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tkmommie
LIF Infant
Member since 5/06 170 total posts
Name:
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Those that go or church with your kids...
I don't 100% agree when people say ignore the woman's advice or shame on her...I see it differently, yes we may not like advice from another person, but maybe they are a mother or father that have raised kids and have some experience and knowledge under their belt that they are just trying to share. Yes I have seen some questionable parenting, and many times I have kept quiet and at times I have tried to help in any way I can. It take a village and sometimes the old ladies in the village give sage advice????. But I can say I have a hard time paying attention in church, so God Bless any 4 yr old that can do it! My son is 12 and plays on his cell phone ??.
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| Posted 6/4/17 8:53 PM |
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tkmommie
LIF Infant
Member since 5/06 170 total posts
Name:
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Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted twice sorry
Message edited 6/4/2017 8:55:30 PM.
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| Posted 6/4/17 8:53 PM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Grew up going to a church and I swear we had a toy bag with quiet books, puzzles, etc until I was like 10.
Don't listen to this person. That kind of judgement is unnecessary and serves no purpose. You know what's best for your child.
I can barely get mine to eat without an iPad show. No way would they sit through a service without disrupting for others
I think people should be proud you are raising your child in your faith, not rude and judgemental.
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| Posted 6/4/17 8:54 PM |
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
When my kids were younger, but even now with my youngest I would hold their hand and rub my thumb over the top of their hand. It seems simple but it really helped my kids.
They also have a child friendly rosary that is elastic so it can be stretched and pulled on. I give them that to fidget with.
When they were toddlers we would sit in the crying room that is specifically meant for families with babies and toddlers.
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| Posted 6/4/17 9:17 PM |
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mrsdukes
LIF Adult
Member since 1/09 943 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
I think it's great that you bring your son to church. We go with my grandkids, who are 3 and almost 1. They are very good, but definitely need things to keep them quiet. we have a few old, cranky people in our church who stare at you if the kids make any noise. Our pastors make it a point to say how happy they are that the kids are there. Hang in there, it's great that you take him.
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| Posted 6/4/17 10:43 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Those that go or church with your kids...
Keep bringing him! The more he goes, he the more he'll get out of it. This isn't Vatican 1 with the nuns beating us with rulers over behavior. The Catholic Church is very understanding that small children have a short attention of span, and that going to mass is more important than how still they sit.
I get stressed out, too don't worry but I keep telling myself my mom did it with us, and her patience paid off
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| Posted 6/5/17 12:03 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Keep bringing him and if he needs snacks and coloring book that is fine.
Don't listen to the peanut gallery just keep doing what you are comfortable with.
Some Sundays will always be better than others. They will eventually learn.
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| Posted 6/5/17 10:42 AM |
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LI2VA
Love my life!!
Member since 11/05 3125 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted by tkmommie
I don't 100% agree when people say ignore the woman's advice or shame on her...I see it differently, yes we may not like advice from another person, but maybe they are a mother or father that have raised kids and have some experience and knowledge under their belt that they are just trying to share. Yes I have seen some questionable parenting, and many times I have kept quiet and at times I have tried to help in any way I can. It take a village and sometimes the old ladies in the village give sage advice????. But I can say I have a hard time paying attention in church, so God Bless any 4 yr old that can do it! My son is 12 and plays on his cell phone ??.
Your 12 year old plays on his cell phone in church?
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| Posted 6/5/17 10:55 AM |
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OhMaybeBaby
LIF Infant
Member since 1/13 337 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Shame on that woman for saying that to you. Ignore her. We bring my almost 3 year old to church every Sunday. Everyone knows his name because he's quite the "charmer" -- has no problem leaving our pew and sitting with another family or introducing himself and asking their name. LOL. We bring coloring books, snacks and quiet toys. He still jabbers away to himself, tries to get other kids to play with him, screams "FAMILY HUG" in the middle of a reading. Granted, we go to what is considered the family mass, but if someone dared say something to me I'd probably go off. Good for you for bringing your children to church. Like a PP said, this isn't the Vatican. The church needs young families to come back. I bet the priest would MUCH rather have you there, with your child making some noise, than not there at all.
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| Posted 6/5/17 11:12 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
I understand that you were probably caught off guard and I would imagine it's stressful bringing children to church. But was her intention to shame you or was she just trying to be helpful? On the surface it just seems like she was trying to give you advice that she thought might help you. I don't see what the big deal with that is. If she said to you "shame on you for bringing distractions to chuch" but she is just telling you that if you ignore him maybe he will just learn to sit still and then you don't have to worry about it anymore. I think we are all just so jaded, especially when our mama bear side comes out that we assume the worst intentions from everyone. I mean, the woman was coming out of church - I doubt she meant to shame you.
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| Posted 6/5/17 11:27 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted by LI2VA
Posted by tkmommie
I don't 100% agree when people say ignore the woman's advice or shame on her...I see it differently, yes we may not like advice from another person, but maybe they are a mother or father that have raised kids and have some experience and knowledge under their belt that they are just trying to share. Yes I have seen some questionable parenting, and many times I have kept quiet and at times I have tried to help in any way I can. It take a village and sometimes the old ladies in the village give sage advice????. But I can say I have a hard time paying attention in church, so God Bless any 4 yr old that can do it! My son is 12 and plays on his cell phone ??.
Your 12 year old plays on his cell phone in church?
LOL! Didn't want to be the one to say it, because I feel I would be attacked, but that was my first thought too! No 12 yr old should be on a cell phone in Church....having gone to Catholic school my whole life and taken to Church every week , by 6/7 years old a child should be able to sit in Mass for 45 minutes without making a ruckus.
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| Posted 6/5/17 11:50 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by LI2VA
Posted by tkmommie
I don't 100% agree when people say ignore the woman's advice or shame on her...I see it differently, yes we may not like advice from another person, but maybe they are a mother or father that have raised kids and have some experience and knowledge under their belt that they are just trying to share. Yes I have seen some questionable parenting, and many times I have kept quiet and at times I have tried to help in any way I can. It take a village and sometimes the old ladies in the village give sage advice????. But I can say I have a hard time paying attention in church, so God Bless any 4 yr old that can do it! My son is 12 and plays on his cell phone ??.
Your 12 year old plays on his cell phone in church?
LOL! Didn't want to be the one to say it, because I feel I would be attacked, but that was my first thought too! No 12 yr old should be on a cell phone in Church....having gone to Catholic school my whole life and taken to Church every week , by 6/7 years old a child should be able to sit in Mass for 45 minutes without making a ruckus.
Yes. My DD is just about 7 and while she fidgets during mass and gets a bit restless and antsy by the end, even SHE can sit through mass with no toys (other than maybe a small stuffed animal she likes to hold) or any kind of electronics.
I think cell phones in church are disrespectful
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| Posted 6/5/17 11:54 AM |
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tkmommie
LIF Infant
Member since 5/06 170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Well aren't you all just the best moms, JK! My children go to Catholic school and Church every Sunday and are in the choir and are altar servers. They are attentive in church, but I have seen him pull out his phone and start a game and rushes to hide it as soon as I see him. It's great if you have a 12 yr old kid that does not pull out their phones anywhere that you deem to be disrespectful. I have 3 kids and if I get through a day without trying to choke someone, I call it a success!!! Hey there are times in church when I want to check my phone too!
Message edited 6/5/2017 12:40:08 PM.
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| Posted 6/5/17 12:38 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Those that go or church with your kids...
Annoying and unnecessary comment. We are catholic and do not attend as regularly as we should, our 5 yr old is pretty good at mass but our DD is 2.5 and it is hard w her so I totally sympathize
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| Posted 6/6/17 8:11 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted by tkmommie
Well aren't you all just the best moms, JK! My children go to Catholic school and Church every Sunday and are in the choir and are altar servers. They are attentive in church, but I have seen him pull out his phone and start a game and rushes to hide it as soon as I see him. It's great if you have a 12 yr old kid that does not pull out their phones anywhere that you deem to be disrespectful. I have 3 kids and if I get through a day without trying to choke someone, I call it a success!!! Hey there are times in church when I want to check my phone too!
Hey at least you are AT MASS EVERY SUNDAY. I went every sunday until college, then a couple times a month, once we had kids, we tried and it was so annoying that we totally got out of the habit. Our son is 5 and he is fine in mass at this point (for the most part), my dad takes him quite often. My 2 yr old DD is a terror and the cell phone idea is actully a good one for her, maybe I will try that 
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| Posted 6/6/17 8:14 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted by tkmommie
Well aren't you all just the best moms, JK! My children go to Catholic school and Church every Sunday and are in the choir and are altar servers. They are attentive in church, but I have seen him pull out his phone and start a game and rushes to hide it as soon as I see him. It's great if you have a 12 yr old kid that does not pull out their phones anywhere that you deem to be disrespectful. I have 3 kids and if I get through a day without trying to choke someone, I call it a success!!! Hey there are times in church when I want to check my phone too!
I would leave the phone at home so he can't be tempted with his addiction in church
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| Posted 6/6/17 8:29 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted by lululu
I understand that you were probably caught off guard and I would imagine it's stressful bringing children to church. But was her intention to shame you or was she just trying to be helpful? On the surface it just seems like she was trying to give you advice that she thought might help you. I don't see what the big deal with that is. If she said to you "shame on you for bringing distractions to chuch" but she is just telling you that if you ignore him maybe he will just learn to sit still and then you don't have to worry about it anymore. I think we are all just so jaded, especially when our mama bear side comes out that we assume the worst intentions from everyone. I mean, the woman was coming out of church - I doubt she meant to shame you.
Yup, this exactly.
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| Posted 6/6/17 8:34 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by tkmommie
Well aren't you all just the best moms, JK! My children go to Catholic school and Church every Sunday and are in the choir and are altar servers. They are attentive in church, but I have seen him pull out his phone and start a game and rushes to hide it as soon as I see him. It's great if you have a 12 yr old kid that does not pull out their phones anywhere that you deem to be disrespectful. I have 3 kids and if I get through a day without trying to choke someone, I call it a success!!! Hey there are times in church when I want to check my phone too!
Hey at least you are AT MASS EVERY SUNDAY. I went every sunday until college, then a couple times a month, once we had kids, we tried and it was so annoying that we totally got out of the habit. Our son is 5 and he is fine in mass at this point (for the most part), my dad takes him quite often. My 2 yr old DD is a terror and the cell phone idea is actully a good one for her, maybe I will try that
I think the difference is for a 2 year old, or even a 5 year old, the cell phone to keep them quiet is one thing. But a 12 year old should be able to sit for the mass and pay attention and maybe even get something out of it. Otherwise, why bother going?
Message edited 6/6/2017 8:55:16 AM.
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| Posted 6/6/17 8:55 AM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Those that go or church with your kids...
Posted by lululu
I mean, the woman was coming out of church - I doubt she meant to shame you.
This is interesting because this is a conclusion I would NEVER draw.
I certainly don't think negatively of people who attend religious services, but someone walking out of church gets the same benefit of the doubt as someone walking out of Target.
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| Posted 6/6/17 8:58 AM |
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