Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

DS is 20 months. He's very curious and sometimes does not want to be confined to the high chair. We went out to dinner tonight for SIL's bday. I dread taking him out to dinner because you just never know what mood he'll be in. And he's very strong willed and when he doesn't get what he wants he let's you know it. And he's relentless!

He was w/ my MIL today so DH and I met her and him at the restaurant (the outback) and sil's met us there too. MIL had him walking around the restaurant. Mistake #1. So of course when I go to put him in the chair he screams and throws a fit.

I finally get him to sit. Coaxed him with an apple, pretzels, brocolli. For about 20 minutes he was good. Then hell broke loose. He wouldn't stop screaming and crying and carrying on.

MIL made a comment when we got there that she was going to bring his portable DVD player. I told her it's good she didn't because I wouldn't let him use it at the table anyway. So at the point where he was carrying on she mentioned it again that she should have brought it.

I just think it is ridiculous to sit at a restaurant with a DVD player. My opinion only. But that point is moot because we didn't have it anyway. So after I couldn't calm him down I just left and they're all still at dinner.

I kind of feel a little bad that I just left like that. And I can't really be upset with DS, he's a toddler. All he wanted to do was run around. I wasn't going to be chasing him around all night.

What would you have done?

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I probably would have done the same thing as you.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I would have done the same thing as you if I couldn't calm him down.

I know when we go to restaurants it's hit or miss with Jack....some days he's an angel and some days he wants out of the highchair from the second we put him in. I refuse to not go out to dinner though for fear of what kind of mood he's in. Like you, I would have pulled out every trick in my bag and when they ran out I probably would have left also!

Oh - and I'm not a fan of the DVD player at dinner either!

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I would have gotten up from the table if DC was carrying on and see if I could get DC calmed down enough to go back to the table. If not, I would have left with DC.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

See - in my situation, if I ever take Jack out of the highchair there is no way in holy hell he will let me put him in. There have been times where we take him out before dessert comes and he's then content on our laps....but other than that he will NEVER get back in the highchair.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I would have done the exact same thing! Sometimes, DS will be OK in his stroller but if not, home we go!

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I would probably have left too - but I don't like dvd players at the table. I do on the other hand never go to a restaurant without a couple of books, some crayons, and some other small, quiet things like that to occupy DD. Without them she would never sit. It is hard b.c at 1, 2 etc they are still kind of young to participate in the conversation etc but I don't think that means that they need a dvd player.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I think you did the right thing. And if you let him have a DVD player at the table now, he will always want it, and I think it would be a very hard habit to break.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I think you did the right thing. For him to sit for 20 minutes was a long time for a toddler! What did DH say when you left (or did he leave with you)?

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

i think you did the right thing.

i don't have a toddler, but thinking ahead, this is how i feel right now - i don't agree with DVD players at restaurants because i think it is important for kids to learn to sit and eat properly. i know for some kids that means only 15-20 minutes.

i think next time i would have him sit in the chair right away - so he knows that this is what grown-ups do, and what he has to do as well.

if he acts up again, can you take him outside to try and calm him, and then try and bring him back and try again? i don't know how your son is, so i don't know if that is possible or too much for him.

i really thing you handled it the best way you could, i can't imagine how stressful a screaming toddler is to handle, since i am not there yet!!

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

You did what I would have done.
Only I would have made my husband come with me also!

Lily is usually great in restaurants....but she needs to be entertained...and cannot be allowed out of her seat until after the meal because she will not go back in.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I dread going to restaurants with Sophie but we actually do it alot. Only recently has she calmed down when she can draw- with a pen only. But not at 20 months. I used to coax in her in with food and up until about 2 months ago she was a good eater so she would eat. It's so hard because at 2 (or almsot 2) I don't think they should be expected to sit in a restaurant, but at the same time I feel like I look around and all of these other kids are sitting to nicely in their highchairs.

I agree about the DVD player - I think it starts a bad habit. We did it once or twice when we were on vacation because it was late and we wanted a peaceful dinner, but I don't even do it at home. I think you did the right thing.

Was it later than his normal dinner time too?

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I totally agree with you. I don't do DVD players at dinner. So if my child was acting up, I would have taken them outside to the car and see if they could calm down and come back in. If that wasn't happening, I would have taken him home.

You know your child. You do what you need to

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

The same thing you did. I've been there and all you can do is leave. Anyways, it's not fun having a screaming toddler at the table so you probably did your family a favor:) It's just unfortunate that you actually had to leave.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I agree..I would have done exactly what you did.

Like Diana said...we try to never take him out thr highchair once he's in but in this case your son didn't want to even get into it.

We do the best we can and part of that is admitting defeat and going home. It was late and probably too much for him...sounds like it was a busy day for him all around.

Now...I am guilty of pulling out all that I have to keep Lucas occupied...including M&Ms but I agree that the DVD would not have been my preference and I would have been firm on that too. Not that it was an option but I back you up on that

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I would have done the same and feel the same way about the DVD player.

Emma won't sit in a high chair anymore though. She would fight me on it, so we just get a booster in a booth and she is content with that.

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I would have done the same thing, and feel the same way you do about the DVD player! Good for you, for not giving in to the DVD player!

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I would have done the same thing. I've always got tons of toys in the diaper bag and my newest restaurnat savior is Play Doh. He's so happy to sit there and play that we can easily get an extra half hour out of him.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I wouldve done the same thing.
Once DS is in the chair, you cannot take him out. That causes problems.
I also do not believe in taking a DVD player to a restaurant.
He doesn't eat any meals at home in front of the TV either.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

thanks ladies..when I left I sort of felt like I was letting him run the show but to be honest with you at 6pm i also know that he's at the end of his rope. He's tired. This is only the second time we've gone out to eat where he has acted like this. Otherwise he stays in the seat just fine.

I was armed with all sorts of toys and snacks. For as much time as my MIL spends with him she still doesn't realize that he's not an angel all the time. SHe sat there and acted shocked as if he NEVER pulls tantrums like this. Yeah right. We would have gone outside for a little while but it was raining. I still don't know why in her right mind she was letting him run around the joint in the first place.

As far as DH goes, he was going to leave with me but his whole family was there and I didn't see the point in us both having to go home. I was only going back to MIL's house anyway. He wound up showing up 20 minutes later by himself with my dinner so he left early because he felt bad. But i generally try not to get bent out of shape over things like that. No sense in us both not being able to participate.

Oh well. Maybe we'll have more luck next time :)

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

i think i'm the only one on this thread that would use a dvd player. i've got 2 kids, almost 5 years apart. if i didn't have a dvd player for my older one when he was little, i would never have eaten out. he's not an eater, so there was ni bribing him at the table with food. he didn't want anything to do with it. he didn't speak until he was 3, so there was no reasoning with him. and he didn't play with toys then either. all he would do it run around. he's been in the kitchen of almost every restaurant we've ever set foot in. and you know what, my DH and i wanted to be able to eat. the only thing we could do was use a dvd player to get him to sit quietly for a little while. eithe that or never go out. so we used the dvd player and it worked and it worked well until he was older and was more willing to eat something the restaurant would serve. or color with crayons etc. now he's 6 and we haven't used the player in a couple of years. and he doesn't need it, and he doesn't ask for it either. it wasn't an issue breaking him of the "habit." at all.

as for my younger one.. she's 16 months. and you know what, she's an eater, i take her out and get her food and she's happy. give her some crayons when she is done and she's still happy. so i don't need a dvd player for her.

i think alot of it depends on the child. some kids need the distractions, others are more willing to go with other choices. and honestly there is nothing wrong with using it so you can get a littel peace and quiet and enjoy a meal once in a while. i personally would have been miseralbe having to walk out of a resaurant without dinner when i was looking forward to going out to eat. and taking shifts where one parent eats and then lets the other eat, means someone's dinner is cold, and nobody gets to enjoy the meal.

i used the dvd playe rfor a couple of years with my son. and i had so many people come up to me asking where i got it, and saying it was such a great idea, and they were going to go right out and get one. i don't think i ever had a negative comment about it.

Re: Toddler Restaurant Situation -- WWYD?

I think you handled the situation the best way you could have. But I guess I'm in the minority here too regarding the DVD player. I think if you know your DC sometimes has issues in restaurants, then it is ok to have it as a back-up. Especially when you go to a place the Outback where they are notoriously slow, you often need to be armed with more than just snacks, toys and crayons. I'm not saying to eat your meal with the DVD player on, but I think it is ok to use it to distract the toddler until the food comes. DH and I go out to eat usually about once a week, so Marron has learned the ropes, but I will admit that I did use the DVD player once when she was especially irritable. And I'm not saying to use it in a fancy French restaurant, but in a place like Outback, as a last resort, when a big group of people are there that you want to spend time with, I really don't think it is that bad. If you were home, you wouldn't expect the child to sit for an hour waiting for his meal -- you would let him run around or watch TV or be entertained until it was time to eat.

And I do agree with the others, MIL should never have let your DS wander around the restaurant before you sat down. That was just setting him up for disaster. I can't even let Marron sit in the regular seat while we are waiting for the high chair or she'll never get in it. If I were to let her roam around the restaurant before we sat down, forget it!!