tons of shower questions!

im a little confused as to what to do..

My BFF offered to throw a shower for me - she's in Boston, my mom is in Boston, my MIL is here.
However my MIL is Jewish and said she doesn't "do" showers. She said she'll go, but probably isn't going to be involved in the planning.
I offered to help my BFF plan it and offered up doing it at our house as well to keep it casual and easier for her since she wouldn't know where to even look around here (and i don't want anyone to have to pay $$, i'm fine with paying to do it at our house). I'm sure my mom will help with planning and day of also.

I also don't really like showers myself.. so had wanted to make it more casual and less 'showery' and more for both DH and I.
Do people do these kinds of parties? I know they're sometimes called a Jack and Jill shower right?

If we do a "shower" for the both of us, do we invite men/couples as well ( i can't imagine any of our guy friends wanting to go), or is it still traditionally women that are invited?
If we do end up inviting men as well.. that makes the guest list a lot bigger and i'm not sure we could even do that..

I'm all over the place with this one.. so thanks if you made it this far and for any suggestions!

Re: tons of shower questions!

My SIL just had a jack and jill shower. There were about 70 guests. It's definitely doable. I would just make it less like a baby shower and more like a regular party. My cousin had one a few summers ago and called it a Baby-Q (instead of a BBQ). Make sure there's beer for the guys and I'm sure they'll be fine.

Re: tons of shower questions!

we're having my shower in my backyard and DH will be there with some of his friends, the dad, the brothers, and a grandfather. i wanted to keep it casual too. we ordered a tent, so all the women will be under the tent and it'll be "showery" and all the guys will hang out on the patio and eat/drink. it's totally do-able and sounds more fun to me than a regular shower lol.

Re: tons of shower questions!

My mom is throwing our shower in our back yard (she lives in Albany.) We are really having a regular party and calling it a shower. So all of my parents friends my, in-laws friends, and all of our friends regardless of gender.