Two year old tantrums

Do you give time outs for excessive whining/yelling and tantrums?

DS is good at telling me what he wants - he just can't handle when I say "no" or "wait"

He responds REALLY well to time outs. They really help him to calm down and refocus.

I don't want to be hanging out time outs left and right though, I am trying to "save" them for when he does something bad like hits or throws things.

Is there a better way to curb the whining and yelling, or do you think it's okay to give time outs for that?

Example: I ask him what he wants for dinner, he says pasta. I tell him okay, let me go put water in the pot, he cries and screams for me to pick him up. I left him choose his pasta shape, then he cries when the pasta isn't instantly ready

So he is in the kitchen, yelling and screaming and begging to be picked up so he can get to the pasta and yell and scream some more Time out or no?

Re: Two year old tantrums

Usually no, not for whining. If she's whining I will try to distract her. For example, if she were whining when I was trying to make her pasta like you were then I would probably have picked her up and had her help me stir the pasta, then i try to distract her and have her get her milk cup and water cup and put it on the table. Of this doesn't work I just try to hurry as fast as I can. I'm sure the pasta isn't as soft as it should be.

Re: Two year old tantrums

I would say no - I would either distract or ignore. That way he realizes whining isn't going to get him anywhere.

Re: Two year old tantrums

I wouldn't give him a time out for that, DS does the same exact thing. He doesn't understand things have to COOK!

I would try to distract him with something else. Maybe some fruit to nibble on. Or, give him a bowl and spoon and tell him to cook like Mommy is. That might take some time off the whining.

Re: Two year old tantrums

OMG is this a 2 year old thing the whining and lack of patience??? Whenever we're driving and there is a delay between songs on her CD's she starts to whine for the song to come on...I always say " you have to wait, and be patient," bc that really gets me somewhere I wouldn't give a time out for whining but I would redirect as PP mentioned

Re: Two year old tantrums

Thanks everyone - I had a feeling time out wasn't the right answer. Janine that is a great idea about having him help me cook

Re: Two year old tantrums

I don't call it a time out - I only use that term when he is doing something like hitting, throwing - the biggies....

for crying, whining - essentially, not tolerating a delay in gratification, this is what I do...

I say no, wait, etc

Cailen cries, whines, has a fit, etc.

I tell him "It is ok to be sad about waiting, but you still need to wait" or "You can be sad that I said no, but you still are not getting it"

If he is whining but not pitching a fit, I usually ignore him.

If it is a loud protest or a full on fit, I tell him:

I need you to go over here if you are crying (I pick a spot not associated with time out) - and you can cry over here. When you are done crying and are ready to join me, let me know.

That has been very effective. Cailen now knows the deal. I think it actually developed his communication skills and his coping strategies - because he learned if he can keep it together, he usually has a better chance of a good outcome - even if he is not getting the thing he wants (now he gets stickers for tolerating waiting or no - which ultimately leads to a bigger reward - but at 2 it is still too young to start that).

Re: Two year old tantrums

Posted by headoverheels

Thanks everyone - I had a feeling time out wasn't the right answer. Janine that is a great idea about having him help me cook

Message edited 12/10/2012 2:47:46 PM.

Re: Two year old tantrums

Re: Two year old tantrums

happiest toddler on the block helps us often

Re: Two year old tantrums

I would say no to a time out for that. It sounds like he's just hungry and having a meltdown bc of it.

I think TO's should be reserved for bigger things - biting, hitting, throwing, pushing, etc.

When Charlie is starting to whine about something, I tell her she's whining and to please stop. This way she is aware of what I'm asking her to do, kwim? Then I get down to her level and talk to her about what the issue is. If it's something that's valid and can be easily resolved, I do it. If she's just whining for the sake of it, I tell her again that she's whining, ask her to please stop and then walk away.

Re: Two year old tantrums

I don't give timeouts for that either. Like others have said, I either try to distract or I just ignore.

Re: Two year old tantrums

No, I wouldnt do time outs for that, he did nothing wrong, he is 2 , he doesnt get the concept of whats happening. That I would simply re-direct or ignore. More often re-direct to something else to get his mind off of it.

Wait till 3....Woah boy....Now 3 gives you lots of reason for time outs. I swear it should be terrible 3's not 2's.

eta- Noah started to help me cook around 2 as well and loved it, and he was so patinet, is so eager to help, he behaves very well!

Message edited 7/28/2010 12:57:05 PM.

Re: Two year old tantrums

DS doesn't understand cooking time either. I let him help the same way you do. Then we set the table. By then he forgot about eating RIGHT NOW.

When he throws afit b/c he wants X and he can't have it or he can only have Y - then I say, you can sit there and cry about X - Mommy is going over here for Y. You can come with mommy if you want.... that usually stops him.

Re: Two year old tantrums

No time out for that. I usually tell him, "Mommy can't understand you when you talk like that". I put him in his playroom and let him have a fit in there until he can calm down and communicate to me what he wants - or until dinner is ready - whatever comes first

Re: Two year old tantrums

No I don't give time outs for tantrums related to waiting for food when he's hungry or when he's really tired. We just try to get him fed/to bed ASAP and distract him. I'll give him a small, very small snack if he's waiting for dinner so he doesn't go bonkers. They are just not in their right mind at these times, so not a good time to use discipline.

I would just tell him what Liza said, it's okay to be sad or mad, but yelling isn't going to get what he wants.