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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
On second thought, you should man up and just send them a thoughtful wedding gift. I have just the thing - and I'll gladly pass it along at no cost to you. 
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Posted 1/6/09 12:44 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
omg I don't even have to click on the link to know it's a cookbook.
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| Posted 1/6/09 12:45 PM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
I totally remember that!
We'll take it ... on one condition.
You have to first write a special message in it to us, addressed to our names
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| Posted 1/6/09 12:46 PM |
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ETAB
Mother Mary Pray for us
Member since 7/07 2052 total posts
Name:
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
I would just write something like...
in 5 days wow!!! congratulations.. you guys must be so excited!
and see what they write back
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| Posted 1/6/09 12:47 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by PreshusSmurf
I totally remember that!
We'll take it ... on one condition.
You have to first write a special message in it to us, addressed to our names
omg it'll be like a chain letter!!
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| Posted 1/6/09 12:47 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by ETAB
I would just write something like...
in 5 days wow!!! congratulations.. you guys must be so excited!
and see what they write back
I would write:
"OMG We can't wait to see you guys! Woo Hoo!! its going to be so much fun!!'
and let them shake in their boots a little.
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| Posted 1/6/09 12:47 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by MrsPJB2007
wow...that stinks.
do you know where the wedding is? did they cut the guest list dramatically to include only close family or something? maybe that's what happened? (just playing devil's advocate)
i would probably be hurt by that too--but not sure how i'd handle it since its DH's friend and i'd want him to deal with it.
I thought the same thing OR maybe they booked a place not realizing that the hall doesn't hold the amount of people they ended up having -- and had to cut some tables. I've heard of this happening as close to the wedding as the weekend OF! 
I don't know what I'd do... Did they come to your wedding??
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| Posted 1/6/09 12:49 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by KeithHernandez
Posted by ETAB
I would just write something like...
in 5 days wow!!! congratulations.. you guys must be so excited!
and see what they write back
I would write:
"OMG We can't wait to see you guys! Woo Hoo!! its going to be so much fun!!'
and let them shake in their boots a little.
Not THIS is perfect.
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| Posted 1/6/09 12:50 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by PreshusSmurf
I totally remember that!
We'll take it ... on one condition.
You have to first write a special message in it to us, addressed to our names
Should we do it after the original message, but add a subject line like "FW: Wedding Cookbook"
Or should be put a cheap label over it and write on that? The label can be the thin, cheap kind so they can see the writing bleed through behind. 
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| Posted 1/6/09 12:51 PM |
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Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by KeithHernandez
Posted by ETAB
I would just write something like...
in 5 days wow!!! congratulations.. you guys must be so excited!
and see what they write back
I would write:
"OMG We can't wait to see you guys! Woo Hoo!! its going to be so much fun!!'
and let them shake in their boots a little.
This is something I would do!! I might even add a bit more, lol.
"OMG, Congrats! We cannot wait to see you...oh wait, we were not invited. Enjoy the cookbook!"
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| Posted 1/6/09 1:12 PM |
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littlejoy06
Love
Member since 3/07 6944 total posts
Name:
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
WHAT??? That is SO WRONG in many ways. IF they had to cut people they should have contacted your DH and said they were so sorry, but because of the situation they had to only invite family and a couple of close friends. That would have been the proper thing to do.
What would I do? I don't think you would want to know. I would write on their Facebook wall and say, "I thought it was in June?" Did you change the wedding? This way they feel like idiots.
Sorry, I just don't agree with what they did and I would definitely approach it.
BUT, if you would like to be nice, I would cut things off. LOL!!!
 Sorry you have to deal with this. Some people are just so rude.
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| Posted 1/6/09 1:24 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
This happend to me back in college. We were all invited to the Engagement party and then not to the wedding.
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| Posted 1/6/09 1:42 PM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by DaniRella
I don't know what I'd do... Did they come to your wedding??
Yes, they came to the wedding.
He was a GROOMSMAN in our wedding!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 1/6/09 1:46 PM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Don't be shocked...I think this happens more then you think. DH and I were invited to my DH"s friends engagement party two years ago. A big shin dig out east that we had to drive a long ways to get to. Gave a very nice engagement gift and then never received an invite to the wedding 
DH and I never approached the guy and he still occassionally meets up with him for a drink, but we don't do anything with them socially anymore as couples.
I would leave it alone and then let DH handle it if he wants to since it's his friend.
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| Posted 1/6/09 1:47 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Well, how did you know that they are having a big wedding this weekend? Maybe they are going to the JOP???
I scanned the thread, and that was the first thing that came to mind.
If not, then,yes, I'd be very upset.
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| Posted 1/6/09 1:50 PM |
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HeatherRose
Life is Good :)
Member since 11/07 6605 total posts
Name:
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by PreshusSmurf
Posted by HeatherRose
wow! cut ties and I would tell my DH since I tell him everything anyway and it is his friend. But I would be done with them.
DH is well aware of the situation ....
I just don't know how we should handle the couple, if we should say anything or just cut ties without a word.
cut ties without talking to them. Is it really worth it?? not to be mean, but they didn't invite you. Which means they didn't want to spend their special day with you. If it was a matter of they could only invite X amount of people and had to cut the list, I'm sure they would have told you in advance so that you guys wouldn't get upset.
What is talking to them going to get you? Unless patching this relationship means the WORLD to you guys, I would just let them go. They don't sound like the best quality friends.
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| Posted 1/6/09 1:56 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by KateDevine
Well, how did you know that they are having a big wedding this weekend? Maybe they are going to the JOP???
I scanned the thread, and that was the first thing that came to mind.
If not, then,yes, I'd be very upset.
Even if they changed their plans for any reason and aren't having a big wedding now, the RIGHT thing to do would be to let the friends and people who came to your engagement party know that you are no longer able to have a big wedding. It's not about the OP not understanding that there could be a valid reason for all this - it's about the fact that it's rude to say NOTHING to your friends who are anticipating your wedding this June!
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| Posted 1/6/09 2:59 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by HeatherRose
Posted by PreshusSmurf
Posted by HeatherRose
wow! cut ties and I would tell my DH since I tell him everything anyway and it is his friend. But I would be done with them.
DH is well aware of the situation ....
I just don't know how we should handle the couple, if we should say anything or just cut ties without a word.
cut ties without talking to them. Is it really worth it?? not to be mean, but they didn't invite you. Which means they didn't want to spend their special day with you. If it was a matter of they could only invite X amount of people and had to cut the list, I'm sure they would have told you in advance so that you guys wouldn't get upset.
What is talking to them going to get you? Unless patching this relationship means the WORLD to you guys, I would just let them go. They don't sound like the best quality friends.
Hang on here.. you guys are talking about cutting ties with friends over a possible misunderstanding and not even bothering to find out the real situation?
I agree it was very tacky for you to have found out about this on Facebook (thats a whole other discussion) but everyone is jumping to the conclusion that you were purposely snubbed.
Perhaps they had to make the wedding smaller for any number of reasons and decided to get married by a JOP, or just have a small party with family involved. They should've sent something out to anyone that was 'uninvited' so you would understand the situation (and avoid this speculation).
But before you go ending any friendship, don't you think its at least worth finding out what really happened? Perhaps they just decided to do this and have been so busy organizing things that they haven't had a chance to send anything out to anyone yet notifying them of the change.
Or maybe they're just thoughtless people and didn't think to tell their 'friends' that they had changed plans...
But at least find out the real situation before acting on anything..don't just assume.
Good luck!
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| Posted 1/6/09 3:02 PM |
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My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies
Member since 2/08 9702 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by Cpt2007
i don't know what to say! I would totally say something but I think it is up to your DH to say something since it is his friend.
gah.
ITA  Thats crazy though !! I would be pizzzzzed ..even if they had to cut the guest list down they should have talked to you guys and explained why !! JMO 
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| Posted 1/6/09 3:04 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by Otherme
Posted by HeatherRose
Posted by PreshusSmurf
Posted by HeatherRose
wow! cut ties and I would tell my DH since I tell him everything anyway and it is his friend. But I would be done with them.
DH is well aware of the situation ....
I just don't know how we should handle the couple, if we should say anything or just cut ties without a word.
cut ties without talking to them. Is it really worth it?? not to be mean, but they didn't invite you. Which means they didn't want to spend their special day with you. If it was a matter of they could only invite X amount of people and had to cut the list, I'm sure they would have told you in advance so that you guys wouldn't get upset.
What is talking to them going to get you? Unless patching this relationship means the WORLD to you guys, I would just let them go. They don't sound like the best quality friends.
Hang on here.. you guys are talking about cutting ties with friends over a possible misunderstanding and not even bothering to find out the real situation?
I agree it was very tacky for you to have found out about this on Facebook (thats a whole other discussion) but everyone is jumping to the conclusion that you were purposely snubbed.
Perhaps they had to make the wedding smaller for any number of reasons and decided to get married by a JOP, or just have a small party with family involved. They should've sent something out to anyone that was 'uninvited' so you would understand the situation (and avoid this speculation).
But before you go ending any friendship, don't you think its at least worth finding out what really happened? Perhaps they just decided to do this and have been so busy organizing things that they haven't had a chance to send anything out to anyone yet notifying them of the change.
Or maybe they're just thoughtless people and didn't think to tell their 'friends' that they had changed plans...
But at least find out the real situation before acting on anything..don't just assume.
Good luck!
I don't think 'smurf' is the type to just take willy nilly advice... I'm sure she's going to take into account a bunch of thoughts...
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| Posted 1/6/09 3:04 PM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by KeithHernandez
I don't think 'smurf' is the type to just take willy nilly advice... I'm sure she's going to take into account a bunch of thoughts...
We would definitely NOT be upset if they had let us know (phonecall, text message, email, letter, carrier pigeon, whatever!) that their plans changed.
It hurts to find this out via facebook status updates.
I hurts not being invited to the wedding of someone who was a GROOMSMAN in our wedding.
And no, I am definitely not the type to just take willy nilly advice (as KeithHernandez and Kara have already said on my behalf).
I'm venting. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this. And I'm looking for the LIFers thoughts on what they would do if they were in our shoes ... so that I can have some different perspectives on how others would handle it, and then we can take this all into account and make our decision about what we will do.
Message edited 1/6/2009 3:24:20 PM.
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| Posted 1/6/09 3:23 PM |
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HeatherRose
Life is Good :)
Member since 11/07 6605 total posts
Name:
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by KeithHernandez
Posted by Otherme
Posted by HeatherRose
Posted by PreshusSmurf
Posted by HeatherRose
wow! cut ties and I would tell my DH since I tell him everything anyway and it is his friend. But I would be done with them.
DH is well aware of the situation ....
I just don't know how we should handle the couple, if we should say anything or just cut ties without a word.
cut ties without talking to them. Is it really worth it?? not to be mean, but they didn't invite you. Which means they didn't want to spend their special day with you. If it was a matter of they could only invite X amount of people and had to cut the list, I'm sure they would have told you in advance so that you guys wouldn't get upset.
What is talking to them going to get you? Unless patching this relationship means the WORLD to you guys, I would just let them go. They don't sound like the best quality friends.
Hang on here.. you guys are talking about cutting ties with friends over a possible misunderstanding and not even bothering to find out the real situation?
I agree it was very tacky for you to have found out about this on Facebook (thats a whole other discussion) but everyone is jumping to the conclusion that you were purposely snubbed.
Perhaps they had to make the wedding smaller for any number of reasons and decided to get married by a JOP, or just have a small party with family involved. They should've sent something out to anyone that was 'uninvited' so you would understand the situation (and avoid this speculation).
But before you go ending any friendship, don't you think its at least worth finding out what really happened? Perhaps they just decided to do this and have been so busy organizing things that they haven't had a chance to send anything out to anyone yet notifying them of the change.
Or maybe they're just thoughtless people and didn't think to tell their 'friends' that they had changed plans...
But at least find out the real situation before acting on anything..don't just assume.
Good luck!
I don't think 'smurf' is the type to just take willy nilly advice... I'm sure she's going to take into account a bunch of thoughts...
I guess my advice is willy nilly
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| Posted 1/6/09 3:28 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by PreshusSmurf
Posted by DaniRella
I don't know what I'd do... Did they come to your wedding??
Yes, they came to the wedding.
He was a GROOMSMAN in our wedding!!!!!!!!
that is just wrong!!!
i'm so sorry - they are not good friends
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| Posted 1/6/09 3:29 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
Posted by PreshusSmurf
Posted by KeithHernandez
I don't think 'smurf' is the type to just take willy nilly advice... I'm sure she's going to take into account a bunch of thoughts...
We would definitely NOT be upset if they had let us know (phonecall, text message, email, letter, carrier pigeon, whatever!) that their plans changed.
It hurts to find this out via facebook status updates.
I hurts not being invited to the wedding of someone who was a GROOMSMAN in our wedding.
And no, I am definitely not the type to just take willy nilly advice (as KeithHernandez and Kara have already said on my behalf).
I'm venting. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this. And I'm looking for the LIFers thoughts on what they would do if they were in our shoes ... so that I can have some different perspectives on how others would handle it, and then we can take this all into account and make our decision about what we will do.
of course..you should be hurt, i would be too!
i agree, they were extremely inconsiderate to not tell you of the change in plans, and for that alone i'd question if the friendship should continue. I was just questioning some of the advice posted that said to just cut all ties immediately without asking them what happened.
either way, it sucks to be in your position and i hope that it turns out to be a giant misunderstanding and not a purposeful slight on their part, otherwise they're going to find themselves a very lonely couple if they've done this to other friends as well.
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| Posted 1/6/09 3:52 PM |
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PreshusSmurf
So in love with my little guys
Member since 1/07 2963 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: SMALL UPDATE - W W Y D ? (cut from the wedding list after going to the e-party?!)
BUMP for SMALL UPDATE:
DH's other friend who never got an invite either, but also attended the e-party wrote on the bride's wall:
"5 days? did I mess a memo?"
I really can't wait to see what comes of this ...
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| Posted 1/6/09 4:28 PM |
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