Was I wrong - kid party

Yesterday we had DS 5th birthday party. It was at a kids place. I had 25 children included and needed to pay $10 for every child after that. My RSVP date was last Sunday but I got some late ones on Wed.

So we are waiting for kids to come and one of the moms shows up with her kids. She did not RSVP for her son (who was invited and attends the school) but also had her daughter come that was not invited (nor attend the school). She said she emailed me the RSVP yesterday. I had responded to one of the dads yesterday am so I knew she was lying. She then says, can my daughter stay. I said I was over my count. She said...oh I called them and they said she could stay if I pay for her....and that she would pay. All the moms/dads and kids were walking in at the same time so I was so caught off guard that I said ok.

During the party her daughter was not nice to some of the kids. She is 7...the kids attending were 3-5. i saw her mocking them. When it was time for pizza and cake the daughter sat down (they had to set up anther space) with the kids. I had ordered some food for the adults. She walked over to me and said she did not like pizza and can I have what the adults were having. I was so annoyed....I told her kids get pizza and got pulled away. When we were giving away goody bags she stood there waiting. I heard her mom say ask her if I had an extra one for her. I told her, unfortunately I did not. Her mom turns around and say...oh my son can share and they then walk out.

She paid the extra for her daughter. My DH said I should not have taken her money and that I should have had extra goody bags. Told him he was nuts.....he thinks I am wrong. Am I? I know for a fact that the mom pulled the same stunt last weekend and one of my son's classmates parties....she had her daughter attend and didn't pay for her...at least she paid at ours. I told DH its not the money i care about...it's 10 bucks...it's the fact that this seems a habit for her and that she is inconsiderate.

Was I wrong - kid party

I don't see enything wrong with what you did. Sounds like this mom takes advantage of these situations. I would have done the same.

Was I wrong - kid party

I think that mother was wrong especially since she has done this before. I only make goodie bags for the amount of kids I know are coming. Yes it is only $10 but what if other parents did this too, it would start to add up.

Was I wrong - kid party

The lack of manners totally shocks me to be honest. I can't wait to see what kind of brats ill have to deal with when my dd is of school age! It shocks me that the mother doesn't tell her dd that she shouldn't ask for something else to eat and that she shouldn't ask for a goodie bag. She shouldn't have been there in the first place!!! So no you were not wrong, but I have to tell ya, my dh would have the same blaise reaction bc he just likes to avoid conflict and drama

Re: Was I wrong - kid party

Posted by MaZz

The lack of manners totally shocks me to be honest. I can't wait to see what kind of brats ill have to deal with when my dd is of school age! It shocks me that the mother doesn't tell her dd that she shouldn't ask for something else to eat and that she shouldn't ask for a goodie bag. She shouldn't have been there in the first place!!! So no you were not wrong, but I have to tell ya, my dh would have the same blaise reaction bc he just likes to avoid conflict and drama

Re: Was I wrong - kid party

I probably would have done exactly what you did - Every step! Don't feel bad!

Re: Was I wrong - kid party

I don't think the mom was that out of line.

She paid for the daughter herself. You can't blame a child for asking for food they like or waiting for a goodybag - they're kids! They don't get what's going on and probably don't know if they were invited or not. The mom's response to the goody bag seemed nice. She didn't make a passive aggressive comment. IDK, maybe I'm in the minority but besides this being an ongoing issue for that mom (although the other parties don't really affect your party.. KWIM?) the mom didn't do anything too terribly wrong. Maybe her husband was working and she HAD to bring both children or just not come? Did you check your email again to make sure she didn't email you after you had previously checked it?

We have often had unexpected guests at parties, but once they're there... might as well make them feel welcome. It wasn't the little girl's fault IMO.

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Re: Was I wrong - kid party

I don't blame u for being annoyed..i would have been too...these parties are not cheap, and if you are going to do this for your son, you want things to go smoothly and really don't need any- not so nice- older kids at the party.

Was I wrong - kid party

the only thing I would be anooyed at thru the whole situation would be the "teasing" of the younger kids part. That I would have said something about. Everything else... I wouldnt have.

Re: Was I wrong - kid party

I don't blame you for being annoyed. I would be.
I'm sorry, but, to expect a goody bag too..It's just a bit much.
You did nothing wrong.

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Re: Was I wrong - kid party

Re: Was I wrong - kid party

She was 100% wrong, not you. I cannot believe how many rude people there are when it comes to birthday parties.

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Message edited 3/4/2013 1:47:57 PM.

Re: Was I wrong - kid party

She was wrong. And you don't have to have extra goody bags! You are not even required to have them in the first place.

If you do- they are for invited guests only.

You can see why they call this generation of kids "the entilted ones".

Re: Was I wrong - kid party

You weren't wrong at all - SHE was extremely rude - I don't understand people's severe lack of manners and obnoxiouis sense of entitlement. -

I think it's extremely rude to first of all, not have RSVP'd at all - and then on top of that to bring an additional uninvited child to a party -

MOST people have more than one child - If your other children weren't invited, you don't bring them. You ESPECIALLY don't put the host on the spot, whether you're paying for the kid or not -
Sorry, rude.

And if for whatever reason you don't have someone to stay with your uninvited kids, then you don't go to the party -

Re: Was I wrong - kid party

While I think you do have the right to be annoyed, I also think this is what has the potential to happen when you start inviting people who are basically stranger's to your child's party.

I am dreading when DS is in school-school for this reason.

He's in nursery school now 2 mornings a week and when he had his party recently, I only invited people we knew personally for this main reason.

I was a little bummed because not as many people ended up coming, but it is what it is when you open it up to the class.

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I have never had a guest show without RSVPing. The parents from our preschool are pretty considerate. The same usual suspects don't RSVP but don't come either.

If the mom really did not RSVP, she is super rude and inconsiderate. Who are these people?!?! If there was actually space and it just came down to it being $10 per head, I would not have minded that much. No good bag? Not your fault at all.

I would have still paid the $10 for her extra child even if I thought she was really rude.

Re: Was I wrong - kid party

I think she was totally rude. How hard is it to RSVP to a party? And if you ABSOLUTELY feel compelled to ask the host if you can bring a sibling, at least do it when you RSVP, so the host can plan the head count.

Honestly though, I still think it's rude to even put the host on the spot and ask in the first place. I get it, sometimes you have nobody to watch the other kid. In those cases, we just skip the party. There are SOOOOO many of these preschool age parties that unless your child is really close to the birthday child (in which case you probably know the parents well and bringing a sibling would be less awkward anyway), it really is a skippable event.

Was I wrong - kid party

SHE was rude IMO and I think you handled it well.

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Re: Was I wrong - kid party