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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
That is just ridiculous. The complete sense of entitlement and lack of etiquette is beyond comment. I have zero patience for that. No invite, no entry! Just like every other event that requires an invite. Take your other kid elsewhere or stay but separate yourself from the party.
The goody bag thing is a very sore subject for me. Family members not only didn't RSVP to DS's birthday but they showed up with all of their grandchildren. I had personalized goody bags for each child that I was expecting so needless to say, they didn't get one. When one of the grandchildren tried to steal (yes steal. He's old enough to know better) another child's, it turned into a whole big shit show. I now hate goody bags.
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Posted 3/4/13 4:45 PM  |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by maybeamommy
I don't think the mom was that out of line.
She paid for the daughter herself. You can't blame a child for asking for food they like or waiting for a goodybag - they're kids! They don't get what's going on and probably don't know if they were invited or not. The mom's response to the goody bag seemed nice. She didn't make a passive aggressive comment. IDK, maybe I'm in the minority but besides this being an ongoing issue for that mom (although the other parties don't really affect your party.. KWIM?) the mom didn't do anything too terribly wrong. Maybe her husband was working and she HAD to bring both children or just not come? Did you check your email again to make sure she didn't email you after you had previously checked it?
We have often had unexpected guests at parties, but once they're there... might as well make them feel welcome. It wasn't the little girl's fault IMO.
I completely disagree with you. That mother was rude and attempted to completely take advantage. If the OP said it was ok and that she'd cover the extra cost, do you really think the mom would have paid? I don't think so! I don't blame the 7 year old, I blame the mom for her utter lack of courtesy and consideration for others.
To the OP, I would've done the exact same thing as you. Do not feel bad. That mother ought to be ashamed of herself for the position she put you and her 7 year old in too.
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| Posted 3/4/13 5:06 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by JDubs
Posted by BargainMama
She was 100% wrong, not you. I cannot believe how many rude people there are when it comes to birthday parties.
ITA!
Agree. I'm sorry but she was rude and I would be annoyed.
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| Posted 3/4/13 5:10 PM |
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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by FirstMate
That is just ridiculous. The complete sense of entitlement and lack of etiquette is beyond comment. I have zero patience for that. No invite, no entry! Just like every other event that requires an invite. Take your other kid elsewhere or stay but separate yourself from the party. .
ITA! I bet pretty soon she's going to wonder why she's not invited to parties anymore, which is really unfortunate for her children.
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| Posted 3/4/13 5:16 PM |
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Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
I agree with your dh. I would always have extra goody bags and I would not have taken her 10.00. I totally understand that you were annoyed, but when hosting an event these ( irritating!) things always happen
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| Posted 3/4/13 6:16 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
I would not feel bad!! She was rude
Although my kids are only 2 I think in that situation if my dd said she did t want/like the pizza I would have said "mrs x was nice enough to give you some pizza please say thank you"
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| Posted 3/4/13 6:25 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by FirstMate
That is just ridiculous. The complete sense of entitlement and lack of etiquette is beyond comment. I have zero patience for that. No invite, no entry! Just like every other event that requires an invite. Take your other kid elsewhere or stay but separate yourself from the party. .
ITA! I bet pretty soon she's going to wonder why she's not invited to parties anymore, which is really unfortunate for her children.
ITA. I can't stand this BS.
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| Posted 3/4/13 6:46 PM |
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gni1125
LIF Infant
Member since 7/06 246 total posts
Name:
Irene
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
I wouldn't say you were wrong necessarily but it seems like she wasn't very thoughtful about your prep and planning for the party and that would annoy me. I probably wouldn't have taken the money for 1 kid but I think it was also the daughter's attitude that made you feel the way you did. If she was sweet and gracious and didn't bug you I don't think you would have been upset about it. I always make a goody bag or two extra just in case though. You never know.
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| Posted 3/4/13 6:55 PM |
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MaMaSaP
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/09 391 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by Onemoretime
I agree with your dh. I would always have extra goody bags and I would not have taken her 10.00. I totally understand that you were annoyed, but when hosting an event these ( irritating!) things always happen
ITA
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| Posted 3/4/13 7:34 PM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by allIwant
I would not feel bad!! She was rude
Although my kids are only 2 I think in that situation if my dd said she did t want/like the pizza I would have said "mrs x was nice enough to give you some pizza please say thank you"
THANK YOU! I wish there were more parents out there like you. What ever happened to "you get what you get and you don't get upset". I feel like parents don't teach their kids to appreciate someone's kindness and generousity anymore. It's really sad!
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| Posted 3/4/13 7:39 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by MaMaSaP
Posted by Onemoretime
I agree with your dh. I would always have extra goody bags and I would not have taken her 10.00. I totally understand that you were annoyed, but when hosting an event these ( irritating!) things always happen
ITA
I agree as well. Although, the fact that she never RSVP's and all and lied about it is completely bizarre and changes the above for me. Usually though, I always bring extra favors and assume some siblings may show up if the parents don't have a sitter at the last minute and I have always paid for the uninvited siblings as well.
Message edited 3/4/2013 7:45:18 PM.
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| Posted 3/4/13 7:44 PM |
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babydreaming
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1130 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by gni1125
I probably wouldn't have taken the money for 1 kid but I think it was also the daughter's attitude that made you feel the way you did. If she was sweet and gracious and didn't bug you I don't think you would have been upset about it.
This is how I felt exactly! Her daughter wasn't gracious at all.....in fact.....almost like she was invited. And she is 7...i'd like to think she didn't know that she wasn't invited but she was standing there when her mom asked me. I think it goes back to my annoyance with the mom. SHE should have known better. And yes, children learn from their parents. So if her mom is rude, that will be her primary example.
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| Posted 3/4/13 7:54 PM |
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babydreaming
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1130 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by FirstMate
That is just ridiculous. The complete sense of entitlement and lack of etiquette is beyond comment. I have zero patience for that. No invite, no entry! Just like every other event that requires an invite. Take your other kid elsewhere or stay but separate yourself from the party.
I feel the same way. A few weeks ago my DS was invited to a party. As I was getting ready, DH said to me...you aren't taking DD (she was 23 mths and goes to the same school). I said, she wasn't invited. DH was like....but aren't children under 2 free? I told him, I didn't care. The invite was for DS and if they wanted to invite DD it would have been addressed to her also.
I get there and the mom was like....where is your DD? I told her I didn't make any assumptions and bring her!
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| Posted 3/4/13 8:00 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by babydreaming
Posted by FirstMate
That is just ridiculous. The complete sense of entitlement and lack of etiquette is beyond comment. I have zero patience for that. No invite, no entry! Just like every other event that requires an invite. Take your other kid elsewhere or stay but separate yourself from the party.
I feel the same way. A few weeks ago my DS was invited to a party. As I was getting ready, DH said to me...you aren't taking DD (she was 23 mths and goes to the same school). I said, she wasn't invited. DH was like....but aren't children under 2 free? I told him, I didn't care. The invite was for DS and if they wanted to invite DD it would have been addressed to her also.
I get there and the mom was like....where is your DD? I told her I didn't make any assumptions and bring her!
I think non-walking babies are always fine and you don't need to ask. Once the baby becomes a toddler, then the toddler becomes disruptive and/or may count towards cost.
At our preschool, we've received invitations where it clearly states that there is no space for siblings. The families that we know fairly well, when I RSVP, they ask if we are bringing the sibling. They all know we have 2 kids so if they don't mention it, I don't either and only bring the invited child.
I recently RSVP's no saying I will be out of town and DH will be with both kids alone. The mom emailed back and asked me to please ask DH to come with both boys. I think most parents are understanding to a few exceptions but you have to arrange it beforehand. We all understand since most of the families have more than one child.
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| Posted 3/4/13 8:09 PM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
That woman and her daughter sound really annoying and it sucks that someone would make you feel awkward at your own child's party. I probably would have paid the $10 for the girl but I would have been annoyed. My dh sounds like your dh. He would pay for any randoms that showed up and would call me rude for being annoyed, lol! I would not make extra goodie bags for random kids so you were not at fault. That little girl needs to improve on her manners. I was an extrememly well mannered child and would have starved rather than ask for a different type of food!!
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| Posted 3/4/13 11:53 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Was I wrong - kid party
I'd be pissed. I wouldn't even think to make extra goody bags nor would i feel that I needed to. The mom was wrong and it sounds like she took advantage. I've been to my nephew's birthday parties where siblings showed up but were kept occupied by the parent and did not eat food supplied my IL's unless offered. The parents wouldn't let their uninvited child eat food intended for the party attendees otherwise.
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| Posted 3/5/13 12:31 AM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Id be annoyed too. Sounds like she was trying to be as unobtrusive as possble by paying and all but she should have made sure to call or email before and make sure you got the email. I dont think you were wrong for not paying and she didnt seem to mind at all.
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| Posted 3/5/13 7:37 AM |
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nicknmb
SISTERS!
Member since 1/06 5193 total posts
Name:
MaryBeth
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by jlk51496
I probably would have done exactly what you did - Every step! Don't feel bad!
I totally would have done the same! I am having DD's 4th bday party this weekend. I got the kids personalized favors, so if anyone additional shows up, they get nothing!
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| Posted 3/5/13 9:05 AM |
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gni1125
LIF Infant
Member since 7/06 246 total posts
Name:
Irene
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by babydreaming
Posted by gni1125
I probably wouldn't have taken the money for 1 kid but I think it was also the daughter's attitude that made you feel the way you did. If she was sweet and gracious and didn't bug you I don't think you would have been upset about it.
This is how I felt exactly! Her daughter wasn't gracious at all.....in fact.....almost like she was invited. And she is 7...i'd like to think she didn't know that she wasn't invited but she was standing there when her mom asked me. I think it goes back to my annoyance with the mom. SHE should have known better. And yes, children learn from their parents. So if her mom is rude, that will be her primary example.
You said it!
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| Posted 3/5/13 9:11 AM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
You were right. Don't even worry about it.
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| Posted 3/6/13 8:45 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by maybeamommy
We have often had unexpected guests at parties, but once they're there... might as well make them feel welcome. It wasn't the little girl's fault IMO.
Same.
I'd be annoyed that she was mocking the other kids but I'd just remember to vent to DH about it later but otherwise I'd let it go.
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| Posted 3/6/13 8:53 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by MaMaSaP
Posted by Onemoretime
I agree with your dh. I would always have extra goody bags and I would not have taken her 10.00. I totally understand that you were annoyed, but when hosting an event these ( irritating!) things always happen
ITA
ITA
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| Posted 3/6/13 8:54 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
if you had invited siblings then no I wouldn't have made her pay.....
she just through her daughter on, so no I wouldn't feel bad her paying, and some people custom order for goodie bags so regardless of if you invited her, she didn't rsvp in time for the goodie bag...
I think if you invite her next year, preempt this by putting on her invitiation(and you don't have to write on the others) that due to space limitations siblings can not be accommodated.
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| Posted 3/6/13 9:04 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
Name:
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Was I wrong - kid party
I am CONVINCED that if I have children I will never have goody bags. I will let them know that in liu a donation will be made to XYZ.
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| Posted 3/6/13 9:15 PM |
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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Re: Was I wrong - kid party
Posted by babydreaming
Posted by MaZz
The lack of manners totally shocks me to be honest. I can't wait to see what kind of brats ill have to deal with when my dd is of school age! It shocks me that the mother doesn't tell her dd that she shouldn't ask for something else to eat and that she shouldn't ask for a goodie bag. She shouldn't have been there in the first place!!! So no you were not wrong, but I have to tell ya, my dh would have the same blaise reaction bc he just likes to avoid conflict and drama 
Thanks....ironically the kids were the nicest kids. They were so well mannered. Kids reflect their parents....right. It made me feel uncomfortable that I had said no to other parents who had older/younger kids. I had to do damage control.....so frustrating.
I thought you said her 7 year old wasn't nice?
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| Posted 3/6/13 11:06 PM |
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