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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
Today at 9 weeks no heartbeat.
Can anyone tell me the usual route they go from here. I cant comprehend the drs mumbo jumbo right now.
I had 3 choices, to let it go naturally, have pills inserted into the V, or have a d&c. I chose #2. Is this effective? I dont want to go to the hospital. My cervix is fully closed. I should be almost 9 weeks and baby was gone at 7. We saw the HB originally. I knew something was wrong when i had no morning sickness like the first. I am so angry. WTH could have gone wrong.
How long to wait to try again?
=In addition DD knows who just turned 4. what do I tell her?
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Posted 11/30/10 11:11 AM  |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
 i am so incredibly sorry!!
If you dont want to go the hospital route, then the pill in the V is probably a better choice... but IMO i think it might prolong the process and make it worse... i would definitely do a d & c if i were in your shoes...
i have no advice about DD.
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| Posted 11/30/10 11:16 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I just want to send some Believe me, I know firsthand how devastating it is to experience a loss 
As far as your options, I had a different situation and my only options were D&E or delivery- to which I chose the D&E because I felt it would be easier emotionally  To be honest sometimes I still wonder about that Anyway, I would discuss the different options with your dr and if it were me, I would do whatever option would cause you to try again soonest! I have a feeling if you let it try to pass naturally, it could take a while and you may end up needing a D&C anyway. I'm not sure what those pills are.
For me, I was told to wait 2 cycles (although I don't get AF on my own) so that translated to 8wks at which point I started provera to bring on my period and then I got started again with my RE.
Thinking about it now, perhaps you should find out about getting a D&C and chromosomal testing. Perhaps they can use that to figure out the cause of the loss  That's just a thought.. again, my experience was very different.
I don't know what to tell you daughter Perhaps someone else has experience with this.
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| Posted 11/30/10 11:18 AM |
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I'm so sorry!!  Did you Dr. have a preference towards one method? For my first mc in 2007 I had a D&C. For my second mc this past August I had the same three options as you. My OB suggested I wait a week to see what happened. She said naturally was the best way as you then avoid surgery and medication. I researched the meds and decided to avoid if possible. I miscarried naturally two days later. My SIL had an ectopic in July and used the meds, then conceived again and mc two weeks ago and used the meds again. Her OB felt that was the best way. A friend of mine who has a friend that is an OB said she prefers natural or D&C and avoids the meds. So, basically, you'll hear different opinions from everyone. I would listen to your Dr and decide what is right for you, DH and DD. As for your DD, I'm sorry that you have to tell her. I love the website Earth Mama Angel Baby - they have great products, but they also have a section on Miscarriages and coping. They have Q&A section that I wouldn't be suprised if they have ways to tell your DD.
ETA links:
Baby Loss Comfort
Earth Mama Angel Baby - Baby Loss
Message edited 11/30/2010 12:08:26 PM.
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| Posted 11/30/10 12:05 PM |
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AutumnDreams
LIF Toddler
Member since 10/10 433 total posts
Name:
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I don't really have advice other than what the previous posters have said, I just wanted to tell you how incredibly sorry I am for your loss
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| Posted 11/30/10 12:17 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
Posted by SeptemberBride03
I'm so sorry!! Did you Dr. have a preference towards one method? For my first mc in 2007 I had a D&C. For my second mc this past August I had the same three options as you. My OB suggested I wait a week to see what happened. She said naturally was the best way as you then avoid surgery and medication. I researched the meds and decided to avoid if possible. I miscarried naturally two days later. My SIL had an ectopic in July and used the meds, then conceived again and mc two weeks ago and used the meds again. Her OB felt that was the best way. A friend of mine who has a friend that is an OB said she prefers natural or D&C and avoids the meds. So, basically, you'll hear different opinions from everyone. I would listen to your Dr and decide what is right for you, DH and DD. As for your DD, I'm sorry that you have to tell her. I love the website Earth Mama Angel Baby - they have great products, but they also have a section on Miscarriages and coping. They have Q&A section that I wouldn't be suprised if they have ways to tell your DD.
ETA links:
Baby Loss Comfort
Earth Mama Angel Baby - Baby Loss
Probably if I had read some of what you wrote, I might have let it go natural. I was on the spot in hysterics and didnt want the hospital and figured the meds would expedite the natural process...I hope I was right. Definitely lacking the info but it was a harsh decision at the moment. To let it go natural wouldnt your cervix need to be opened? Bc mine was completely shut. Thanks for the info!
Thanks to everyone who responded. it makes it that much easier to know you are not alone.
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| Posted 11/30/10 12:20 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
Posted by PennyCat
I just want to send some Believe me, I know firsthand how devastating it is to experience a loss
As far as your options, I had a different situation and my only options were D&E or delivery- to which I chose the D&E because I felt it would be easier emotionally To be honest sometimes I still wonder about that Anyway, I would discuss the different options with your dr and if it were me, I would do whatever option would cause you to try again soonest! I have a feeling if you let it try to pass naturally, it could take a while and you may end up needing a D&C anyway. I'm not sure what those pills are.
For me, I was told to wait 2 cycles (although I don't get AF on my own) so that translated to 8wks at which point I started provera to bring on my period and then I got started again with my RE.
Thinking about it now, perhaps you should find out about getting a D&C and chromosomal testing. Perhaps they can use that to figure out the cause of the loss That's just a thought.. again, my experience was very different.
I don't know what to tell you daughter Perhaps someone else has experience with this.
what is D&E ve D&C?
ALso, is it the same as like when you have your first child in terms of being very fertile after the uterus goes back?
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| Posted 11/30/10 12:21 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by PennyCat
I just want to send some Believe me, I know firsthand how devastating it is to experience a loss
As far as your options, I had a different situation and my only options were D&E or delivery- to which I chose the D&E because I felt it would be easier emotionally To be honest sometimes I still wonder about that Anyway, I would discuss the different options with your dr and if it were me, I would do whatever option would cause you to try again soonest! I have a feeling if you let it try to pass naturally, it could take a while and you may end up needing a D&C anyway. I'm not sure what those pills are.
For me, I was told to wait 2 cycles (although I don't get AF on my own) so that translated to 8wks at which point I started provera to bring on my period and then I got started again with my RE.
Thinking about it now, perhaps you should find out about getting a D&C and chromosomal testing. Perhaps they can use that to figure out the cause of the loss That's just a thought.. again, my experience was very different.
I don't know what to tell you daughter Perhaps someone else has experience with this.
what is D&E ve D&C?
ALso, is it the same as like when you have your first child in terms of being very fertile after the uterus goes back?
A D&E is for when you are further along. I was 17.5wks at the time I had it. It's more complicated because the baby is larger, etc.- that's why I also had the option of delivering.
As far as being more fertile, well, I'm not   like, EVER. I go through an RE to get pregnant, so I don't know what it's like for most people... but for me... I was just as infertile as I was before the loss. For the "normal" person, I heard that you are more fertile after.
Again, I am so sorry you have to go through this!!
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| Posted 11/30/10 1:16 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
Oh no...I am so very sorry to hear this.
I miscarried almost two years ago at 9.5 weeks. Originally, I opted for the D&C but a couple of days before the procedure I started bleeding on my own. At that point I called my doctor and she phoned in a prescription for the meds to help things along. While waiting for the script to be ready, I was reading the internet and all sorts of horror stories involving excruciating pain, etc. I had NO exceptional pain...just pretty bad period type cramps. Totally bearable--physically that is. Don't read the internet!
In the end, I was able to avoid the D&C which I was super-happy about since I was petrified of it.
I think my OB told me to wait two cycles. I "sort of" tried after the first, which didn't matter since it took quite a while to conceive again. My little one is a month old now and I am fortunate that it's all a distant memory at this point...
I hope it's all over for you very quickly and you can move on...
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| Posted 11/30/10 1:43 PM |
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I have no additional information other than above, but wanted to tell you how terribly sorry I am for you and your DH. I know how painful this is and there is nothing I can say to make it better. 
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| Posted 11/30/10 2:17 PM |
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mommy2devin
2 Boys, I need calgon!
Member since 10/07 1572 total posts
Name:
Shannon
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I am so so sorry! There are no words, I know. Just know that we are here to vent to. And it is so nice to be surrounded by people that do actually know what you are going through.
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| Posted 11/30/10 3:58 PM |
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I'm sorry for your loss. Every dr says something different about trying again.
If you have the d&c you can find out what went wrong. Mine was natural and although the dr said it was chromosomal I will always wonder if it was something I did wrong.
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| Posted 11/30/10 4:30 PM |
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KPanas
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1691 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss
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| Posted 11/30/10 5:29 PM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
Oh Paulette
I am so sorry...if you need to talk, yell, scream, or cry...I am here
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| Posted 11/30/10 6:29 PM |
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prunepie
LIF Adult
Member since 7/06 4357 total posts
Name:
jennifer
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
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| Posted 11/30/10 7:08 PM |
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Jenn1621
<3
Member since 5/05 1728 total posts
Name:
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I am so sorry for your loss...I know how you feel. I miscarried at 10 weeks (baby stopped growing at 8.5) and like you went in for my first sono to find out there was no longer a heartbeat. This was in September and I took a break and am getting ready to start again. Take time to heal and to grieve, if you need to talk were here!
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| Posted 11/30/10 9:08 PM |
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VickiRG510
I'M A MOMMY!
Member since 3/09 1042 total posts
Name:
Vicki
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I totally understand. Its so unreal. I had this happen as well. I heard the HB at 6, 7 & 8 Wks & then didnt hav ewto go back until 13 wks. When we did there was no longer a HB. We were in total shock. Hitting teh 4 month mark & this? Horrible. You feel like you are in a daze. My suggestion is honestly the D&C they will make sur eyou are fully cleaned out & nothing left behind. I went to Garden City Womens health Care Center. Its an OB/GYN that also perform D&C's. Its much more comfortable then going to teh hospital. Good Luck & im so very sorry fo ryour loss.
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| Posted 11/30/10 9:10 PM |
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I'm soo sorry...
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| Posted 11/30/10 9:14 PM |
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Torts
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/10 494 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I fm'ed you back
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| Posted 11/30/10 9:16 PM |
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Metsmomma
Happy Winter!
Member since 1/09 5351 total posts
Name:
Renee
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
i'm so sorry for your loss!!
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| Posted 11/30/10 10:05 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
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| Posted 12/1/10 9:15 AM |
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Nik211
my little monkey<3
Member since 5/08 3303 total posts
Name:
Nik
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
i am sorry for your loss - i am going through the same exact thing right now and just found out today....FM me if you want to talk
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| Posted 12/1/10 4:52 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
I am so sorry about your loss.When it happened to me, I just didn't tell my son anything. He was almost 4, if its any consolation, your daughter probably doesn't have a great sense of how long a pregnancy is, so she probably won't realise that you aren't pregnant anymore.
I was very lucky and got pregnant again about 3 months later, so it all fell into place, but I don't think your daughter will realise that this has happened.
I'll be thinking about you!!
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| Posted 12/1/10 5:36 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
Posted by yankinmanc
I am so sorry about your loss.When it happened to me, I just didn't tell my son anything. He was almost 4, if its any consolation, your daughter probably doesn't have a great sense of how long a pregnancy is, so she probably won't realise that you aren't pregnant anymore.
I was very lucky and got pregnant again about 3 months later, so it all fell into place, but I don't think your daughter will realise that this has happened.
I'll be thinking about you!!
Thank you!
I only wanted to tell her something bc she was coochie cooing my stomach and drawing pics at school of the baby.
I told her the dr took the baby out bc it was not healthy. i couldnt say sick since she would think if she was sick she would die. Regardless of my attempts, her memory is so short term that she pretty much forgets. Like you said, hopefully we will have success like yours and it will all go quickly and be the same as before.
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| Posted 12/1/10 7:04 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: We are beyond devestated I can hardly breathe...
Posted by Nik211
i am sorry for your loss - i am going through the same exact thing right now and just found out today....FM me if you want to talk
I am so sorry! Believe me I know how you feel right now
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| Posted 12/1/10 7:05 PM |
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