Wedding Etiquette Quest.

I received an invitation that read "No boxed gifts!" at the end. Now this seems very distasteful especially considering the bride gave us a boxed gift only at our own wedding, which I loved. Is there something I'm missing about this statement? Maybe a cultural thing I am unaware of or just plain rudeness? The bride has however told me outright she only wants $$. I am not sure what to give...

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

the first thing that came to my mind is it was their way of saying they wanted cash.

it appears they felt this was the least-tacky way to go about it, but i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that i think they failed.



you could always get the a refridgerator box and put cash in it. wrap it up and get it a nice red bow.. (i'm horrid, i apologize.)

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

wow she gave you a boxed gift for your wedding, yet she requests only cash for hers? That doesnt really seem right.
If it were a cultural thing, I would assume that she would have given you cash at yours instead of the boxed gift.

Either way, I would give whatever you were more comfortable with, either a boxed gift or cash. I think its rude to put cash only gifts! (unless its a cultural thing, like you said)

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

My initial take on this was the same as the prior posters. But to play devil's advocate, is it possible that she just meant that they'd prefer to have boxed gifts delivered to their home either before or after the wedding, and not brought to the RH. Perhaps they're concerned about storing boxed gifts during the reception and then transporting them back.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

hmmmm....I'm not sure of any culture that explains so rudely that they prefer cash gifts at their wedding....I might be so p!ssed as to not even go.....but that's just me....

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

You could always take the amount that you were going to spend on a boxed gift and then give her a gift card for that amount (to BBB, Bloomies, Macys, etc. -- places where people typically register). I actually loved getting gift cards to BBB, we just finished using ours from our wedding and it took 9 months!

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

Just go with a gift bag

I think it's tacky, just my opinion.

Is this wedding in the NY area? If so, I think this is very tacky as most people give cash anyway...I just don't think you should specify on your invitation how you want a gift to be given. You shouldn't invite people with the expectation of anything in return. JMO

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

is it NY? If there is a lot of out of town guests or its not in NY, people tend to give actual gifts instead of money, maybe she's hoping to shed some light on the matter

I think its pretty rude regardless.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

and "we PREFER" would sound a whole lot nicer than "NO"

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

I think that is rude. Was there really an exclamation point after it?!?

I'm a b!tch so I would bring my check in a box.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

they seem like they want cash. i would uncomfortable writing that on my invitations.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

It is rude, it is a way of saying we want cash. No one should dictate what they want as a gift.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

At first I was thinking she would like gifts sent to the house but to actually tell you she wants money is pretty rude.

I wouldn't change my gift based on her instructions.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

I would get a boxed gift just because she had the balls to ask for none.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate this. Its so rude.

Playing devils advocate for a moment--I can tell you though that my aunt bought me my espresso machine for my wedding. It was fine for a gift but she was like oh here, and here I am in my wedding dress with like a 20 lb box...I almost dropped it! So if you're gonna send a "gift" then deliver it to the house at least!

I only got that ONE on my wedding day. I did get 2 others sent to the house.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

I think it's rude to say ANYTHING about gifts on an invitation. I would give what you were planning to - boxed or not.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

I would bring a gift that was not in it's box!

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

Is the wedding Out of Town? I mean if that is the case and they dont want to travel with gifts.. that is the only way I would say that it is acceptable.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

RUDE!!!! that's poor taste in my opinion. it's just a "nicer" way of saying, "cash please!"

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

I think it's really rude. Just because it annoyed me, now I would buy a gift and ship it to their house instead of giving cash!

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

People never cease to amaze me.

We had lots of OOT people at our wedding and got several "boxed" gifts. Was it a PITA to transport them home? yes. Would I have preferred them be shipped to my house? Absolutely. But these people took the time to shop and pick out some beautiful gifts for us and shelled out the $$ to travel to come and celebrate our day with us. How could I ever be ungrateful for that?

I don't know what I would do. I would be tempted to bring one too, just because she asked me not to, even though I would normally give a check.

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

Put a gift card to K-Mart in the card. That would be sticking with her "rule."

Re: Wedding Etiquette Quest.

it's RUDE!

for guests: if you're giving a gift and not cash, you should have it sent to the house before the event... as others have said: because of storage and transportation on the day.

now, you should NEVER mention a gift on an invitation. not even for a bridal shower. where the bride is registered should be "spread" by word of mouth.

as someone stated above, the only way i can see this as not rude would be if it's some kind of a destination wedding.

again, RUDE.

i'm my father's daughter... i would buy them a blender and take it out of it's box and wrap the paper around it, so you can tell what it is. TAH-DAH! no boxed gift. i would not give her money.

and going back to the ny thing about bringing an envelope to the wedding as a gift, it's also the "norm" in latino weddings.