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littlejoy06
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
Posted by smdl
Unless you want HER to watch the kids and there may be more flexibility if you run late one day, there is really NO incentive for you to have her watch your kids. Yes, it's grandma, but daycares have activities, toys, other kids. Is she providing all the set up of a daycare?
ITA!!! If she wants exactly what a daycare would charge, I would just go with daycare. This way they have a schedule, are with other kids, and have many activities during the day.
Is there a way you can use her PT and the rest in daycare? Or is it just way too $$$?
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Posted 2/22/10 11:43 AM  |
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lvdolphins
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Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
Posted by littlejoy06
Posted by smdl
Unless you want HER to watch the kids and there may be more flexibility if you run late one day, there is really NO incentive for you to have her watch your kids. Yes, it's grandma, but daycares have activities, toys, other kids. Is she providing all the set up of a daycare?
ITA!!! If she wants exactly what a daycare would charge, I would just go with daycare. This way they have a schedule, are with other kids, and have many activities during the day.
Is there a way you can use her PT and the rest in daycare? Or is it just way too $$$?
This is what I was thinking. Can you have MIL do like M,W,F and have MIL come T/TH?
Thats a pretty big commute. I would pay minimum $350 for FT AND I'd give some $$ toward gas (maybe a gas card or something).
Message edited 2/22/2010 12:08:42 PM.
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| Posted 2/22/10 12:08 PM |
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Salason
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Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
I think $325 is very fair if that is what you can comfortably afford. Here's the thing though... as I read that, it raised a red flag to me because if she's demanding what you pay daycare, she may resent it if you don't pay her that (not that I think you should by any means!) and I could be wrong but it gave me the impression that she may have the type of personality that may not be so receptive to you dictating schedules and ways of doing things which could get real hairy, real fast (i.e. if you're paying her and they're watching TV all day, you're going to resent her too). I hope you can work something out 
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| Posted 2/22/10 1:11 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
I also want to say that age is totally relative.
my mIL is 76 years old. she does spanish lessons with the girls, helps them with their homework and makes them read books to her. she are almost NEVER allowed to watch tv.
so, the question really is do you think YOUR MIL would do these things, or essentially sit on the couch all day allowed Yo Gabba Gabba to help earn her wages??????
if she is demanding a certain wage, she needs to earn it.
if you don't trust her to care for your children the way you would like, I like your other option...use her for a few months and then stay home for a bit.
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| Posted 2/22/10 1:22 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
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Christine
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
Posted by prncsslehcar
Ok, here's my opinion: she needs the money, you need the childcare.
Pay her and insist on a certain schedule for the kids. I mean, if you're paying her, then you should at least be able to dictate that, no?
I get it, she's your MIL, blah, blah, but she needs the money so she'd be out working somewhere else if not for you, so if she's making the money, it should be a job.
Is there a low cost preK your son could go to half day? I know that it adds extra money, but I know if my almost 4 year old had to go back to being home everyday after being in school everyday, she'd be a miserable mess. I wonder if any local ymca's have programs or libraries? Will your MIL have the means to drive your kids places?
This sounds good in theory and I agree with you but it is tiring for me to do what I do with them now and expect someone who is 25 years older to do it, forget it.
Thank you all for responding because the more I read your posts the more I realize it needs to be a temporary thing for everyone's good.
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| Posted 2/22/10 1:27 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
Posted by Salason
I think $325 is very fair if that is what you can comfortably afford. Here's the thing though... as I read that, it raised a red flag to me because if she's demanding what you pay daycare, she may resent it if you don't pay her that (not that I think you should by any means!) and I could be wrong but it gave me the impression that she may have the type of personality that may not be so receptive to you dictating schedules and ways of doing things which could get real hairy, real fast (i.e. if you're paying her and they're watching TV all day, you're going to resent her too). I hope you can work something out
DING DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 2/22/10 1:29 PM |
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pugmama
April already?
Member since 3/06 5297 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
I think having your mil watch the kids would be TOO stressful for you. I'm sure you have thought of this but what about nabny/babysitter?
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| Posted 2/22/10 4:45 PM |
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EckoRed81504
We are complete <3
Member since 12/07 6299 total posts
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April
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
My mil watches dd 3x a week and refuses to take any $. We make up for it in other ways. She doesn't mind watching her and she loves it
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| Posted 2/22/10 4:48 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
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Stephanie
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
from experience, having a family member watch your child is NOT all it's cracked up to be  
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| Posted 2/22/10 4:53 PM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
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Randi
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
what about keeping the 4 yr old in daycare and paying her to watch the other 2 kids?
Since the average nanny makes like 10 to 15 an hour, I would think you could get away with paying her 8 to 12 an hour-- and then think of other ways to provide additional "benefits". But if she is doing this for the money in lieu of another job-- it's a tough position since you may not have the same perspective financially.
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| Posted 2/22/10 5:44 PM |
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josie919
Here we go!
Member since 2/08 1108 total posts
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Josie
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
I had a friend who was in a similar situation and (this is just an idea) instead of paying MIL directly bc she wasn't comfortable with it, my friend and her DH bought her a new car. Buying a car for someone is not going to be everyones way of doing it.. but if she has a car pymnt maybe offer to pay that for her if she isn't willing to be 'PAID'? Just an idea. But I agree she deserves some form of compensation. 3 kids under 5 fulltime? Now THATS a job!
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| Posted 2/22/10 6:04 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Thank you all for your responses. We are in a tough spot. MIL does not have a job and needs money. We need cheaper child care. What seems like an easy solution really isn't. She thinks she should get paid close to (actually used to want the same amount) what we pay for our child care which I think is soooooo nervy. I understand in a perfect world grandparents would watch their g-kids for the pure joy but that's just not the case. She would be driving a long distance every day and would work long hours so I think she deserves to get paid. We were thinking about 325.00 a week. I'm sure she'll want more.
DH is really on board with this more so than me. I personally don't think DH realizes what a HUGE commitment it would be and how exhausting it would be for a 61 year old woman to do this job. I also have concerns about my 4 year old who has been in child care since 3 months old. He is so used to the structure, socialization and academics now that I don't think she could provide him with that environment. As I'm typing this I have all these reasons why I'm thinking this is not the best solution. Since all of my paycheck was going to child care I'm thinking maybe I'll build a little nest egg and then stay at home myself.
I"m really just babbling so if you got this far thanks for listening!
See, I don't think that is nervy at all. It is a full time job, much harder than sitting at a desk all day, so being paid comparable wages is completely fair. If I were in your situation and knew my MIL needed the money and was willing to do the job, I'd pay her what I'd be paying at a center since I'd have the piece of mind knowing that they were in the care of family. On the other hand, if you have doubts about her abiliteis to do this full time, a daycare center may be a better route.
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| Posted 2/22/10 6:43 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
Posted by ddunne2
See, I don't think that is nervy at all. It is a full time job, much harder than sitting at a desk all day, so being paid comparable wages is completely fair. If I were in your situation and knew my MIL needed the money and was willing to do the job, I'd pay her what I'd be paying at a center since I'd have the piece of mind knowing that they were in the care of family. On the other hand, if you have doubts about her abiliteis to do this full time, a daycare center may be a better route.
ITA
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| Posted 2/22/10 7:23 PM |
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AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!
Member since 5/05 4377 total posts
Name:
MaMMa
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
That is tough. Its a huge huge committment for someone to take care of 3 kids full-time. I would consider compensating her close to what the daycare costs would be if she would accept that - BUT - depending on her abilities to take care of all 3 at once - you might want to consider daycare if that is an option - otherwise checking to see if you can work part-time?? Maybe having her watch the children a couple days a week instead of for 5 days?
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| Posted 2/22/10 7:30 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
have you checked into getting an au pair to live in the house? i thought they are suppose to be more reasonable when its including room and board.
also- if she gets paid same as daycare- then is she going to provide the food that daycare provides? is she going to get taxed and you claim the tax deduction for daycare expenses?
Message edited 2/22/2010 7:36:50 PM.
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| Posted 2/22/10 7:35 PM |
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babyonthebrain
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Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
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Rafaela
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
From my own experience, I did not choose my MIL to watch DS even though she was willing to in my opinion that's a relationship that can wear thin relatively quick with a situation like that. If she's demanding that you pay same as daycare then what's the point of her watching them???? Send them to daycare instead.
If you choose to stick with her instead I think its fair if you pay her 1/2 of what you would pay daycare, afterall they are her grandkids and I'm sure one of the reasons for her watching them is for you to save some money no?
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| Posted 2/22/10 7:54 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
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Mama Cranky
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Re: what is a fair price to pay your MIL to watch your kids?
I don't agree that this is is the case for many people:
Posted by ddunne2
See, I don't think that is nervy at all. It is a full time job, much harder than sitting at a desk all day,.
but I digress.
To the OP-I agree that maybe you can look for an in home daycare center.
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| Posted 2/23/10 8:43 AM |
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