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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
Dh is going to take 1-2 weeks off dependng on how I feel. My Mom and one of my sisters will also be taking a week off to help out. Everyone is going to stagger their time. I feel really lulcky that so many people are willing to help out.
My MIL lives over an hour away, we don't really have room to have anyone stay over, so she'll probably come out for a day on the weekend. I think having any overnight house guests right after delivery (even if they are there to help out) would stress me out.
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Posted 12/11/08 8:39 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
I'm in NC, so I won't have much help.....my mom will fly down for a week, and my DH will only be able to be off for one week (he hasn't been at his job for a full year, so I don't think he qualifies for FMLA). Being that I am having twins, and most likely a c-section, I would LOVE to have a baby nurse, but don't know how to go about getting one. Are they covered under insurance normally?
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| Posted 12/11/08 8:39 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
honestly, my Mom, MIL & sister will stop by and watch the baby a little bit here and there, but I don't forsee myself needing a steady amount of help after baby is born. Nobody will stay over, and DH will go right back to work. He works nights.
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| Posted 12/11/08 8:45 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
I understand what you are saying 100% -
And it's kind of funny, but having a boy, this is one of the things that went through my head when I found out the sex of the baby - One day, I'm goign to be the MOTHER of the HUSBAND !!! I am going to be persona non grata !!!!  
But it is true, and as a woman, your MIL should try to understand WHY you would feel more comfortable with your onw mother there for you -
I don't want help w/ the BABY - I mean, some advice here and there will be needed and appreciated I'm sure - but I'm going to have to LEARN to take care of him myself - I'm going to need help going up and down the stairs to do laundry, to clean the bathroom, to get things done around the house etc - someone to help ME while I learn to take care of HIM - And you can ask you Mom to do your laundry, but asking your MIL is just something I'd feel strange about -
And to be honest, I know I've never done this before ..........but do we REALLY need someone with us 24/7 for weeks at a time to 'help' ?? I think we're all pretty capable of figuring this Mommy thing out ..........no ??
Two of my best friends have warned me since the day I got PG - Set the ground rules w/ your MIL from DAY ONE - b/c once you get her used to something, it's going to be the expectation ........KWIM ?? Have your DH talk to her - If you don't feel you NEED her help, tell her she's more than welcome to come and see her Grandchild, but it's not necessary for her to be a houseguest for 2 weeks -
Can we say added stress ????? OMG !! 
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| Posted 12/11/08 8:57 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
DH had 2 weeks off with DS. The whole first week, I was in the hospital.
The second week I had him home with me and by the time he went back, I was actually OK on my own.
DS slept a lot off and on during the day, so, I took advantage of that time and cleaned up or heck, even napped myself.
Now, with #2 on the way, I told DH to take off the day I give birth (Scheduled C) and go back to work. He can come visit me at night. My inlaws (live next door) are most likely going to help with DS during the day. DH will take his 2 weeks once I get home this time. It will be different with a 2.5 year old running around and I'll need him here, not at the hospital.
My mom has been sick for a while now. Im not due until June. If she's nice and healthy by then, Im sure she'll help out when she can. 
Im so thankful I get along with my parents and my inlaws.
Sorry for the rambling. Be Thankful they are offering to help.
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| Posted 12/11/08 9:00 AM |
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ruby
you rang?
Member since 6/08 5573 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
DH will have a few days off, not much. We're only in a 1 bdrm apt as it is, so whoever comes won't be staying with us to help. They might stop by during the day for a few hours of relief, but nothing steady and constant. MIL is retired, my mom still works full time, so I'm sure MIL will be there more but my mom may take some vacation time to come over too.
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| Posted 12/11/08 9:02 AM |
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
Posted by MarisaK
I understand what you are saying 100% -
And it's kind of funny, but having a boy, this is one of the things that went through my head when I found out the sex of the baby - One day, I'm goign to be the MOTHER of the HUSBAND !!! I am going to be persona non grata !!!!
And to be honest, I know I've never done this before ..........but do we REALLY need someone with us 24/7 for weeks at a time to 'help' ?? I think we're all pretty capable of figuring this Mommy thing out ..........no ??
what you "need" is someone to do the cooking and cleaning. with DD#1 that is what my mom said she would do, nothing else. she said DH and i needed to bond with baby and she'd take care of everything else for a week. total godsend...
i am currently experiencing with 2 in the mix what you "need" in addition to cooking and cleaning is someone to entertain #1. 
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| Posted 12/11/08 9:58 AM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
In terms of needing help once the baby is home, that's what I'm referring to. I need someone who will be able to do the laundry, cook and clean (even though I do have a cleaning lady, but not every week). Especially if I end up with a C/S, I can't seem myself being able to go up and down the basement stairs doing laundry.
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:04 AM |
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
Posted by MrsRbk
Especially if I end up with a C/S, I can't seem myself being able to go up and down the basement stairs doing laundry.
yeah, it's a b!tch 
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:14 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
Posted by MrsRbk
In terms of needing help once the baby is home, that's what I'm referring to. I need someone who will be able to do the laundry, cook and clean (even though I do have a cleaning lady, but not every week). Especially if I end up with a C/S, I can't seem myself being able to go up and down the basement stairs doing laundry.
This is exactly what I mean too - You don't need an entourage of people to help you take care of the baby - but THAT is what my ILs would WANT to do, KWIM? - And that to me, is just added stress, it's not 'helpful' -
MY Mom would do the things I really needed her to help me with - cooking, cleaning, laundry etc - so that I could figure out how to care for the baby -
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:19 AM |
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by MrsRbk
In terms of needing help once the baby is home, that's what I'm referring to. I need someone who will be able to do the laundry, cook and clean (even though I do have a cleaning lady, but not every week). Especially if I end up with a C/S, I can't seem myself being able to go up and down the basement stairs doing laundry.
This is exactly what I mean too - You don't need an entourage of people to help you take care of the baby - but THAT is what my ILs would WANT to do, KWIM? - And that to me, is just added stress, it's not 'helpful' -
MY Mom would do the things I really needed her to help me with - cooking, cleaning, laundry etc - so that I could figure out how to care for the baby -
my MIL is the last person i wanted around, luckily i didn't have that "problem"...BUT my mom seemed to think i could have told my MIL what to do...i was like "what planet are you on?" 
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:29 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is your plan for help once the baby comes?
Well DH works from home. He will be "off" work for about 3-5 days. The week I come home from the hospital, my mom is flying down for about a week. She will help really with food and such. DH goes back to work and I fly solo. His mom may come down for a week at the end of the month, but still Im flying solo. I would prefer it that way honestly. Both my mom and MIL come from a different time, and while I appreciate their "advice" I really think its something Im going to have to figure out on my own. I also dont agree with some of their "advice" so I will have to try and be as diplomatic as I can be. Which may prove to be the hardest part.
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:33 AM |
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