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Christine2
LIF Adult
Member since 2/09 1217 total posts
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What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
I am trying to make heads and tails of this issue. I have NO idea how I would handle my 14 yo molesting his sisters. Everyone is so angry at how they handled this, but how would you have done it differently? You love your son, you love your daughters. He just turned into a pubescent teenager. Would you forsake him? Obviously, you need to get him out of the house (which it sounds like they did). But then what?
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Posted 6/5/15 7:15 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
I would have gotten him and the victims REAL therapy.
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| Posted 6/5/15 7:22 PM |
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MsSissy
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Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by afternoondelight828
I would have gotten him and the victims REAL therapy.
This. And it would've been after the 1st he came to me and admitted it. I wouldn't have left my daughters open to be victimized 2 more times before doing something. This is what I have a real problem with.
Message edited 6/5/2015 7:28:03 PM.
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| Posted 6/5/15 7:27 PM |
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Stop focusing on the perp and do what is right for the girls. Everything out of their mouths has been about poor Joshie. He has clearly been the priority. If my son did that to my girls he would never live under the same roof as them. Not saying I would put him in a prison camp but some kind of alternative living arrangements would have to happen.
I am waiting for someone to slip and say the girls were to blame in some way. I bet even the girls think that.
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| Posted 6/5/15 8:40 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Christine2
I am trying to make heads and tails of this issue. I have NO idea how I would handle my 14 yo molesting his sisters. Everyone is so angry at how they handled this, but how would you have done it differently? You love your son, you love your daughters. He just turned into a pubescent teenager. Would you forsake him? Obviously, you need to get him out of the house (which it sounds like they did). But then what?
I am not following the story in great detail but I find most people are great Monday morning quarterbacks. No one knows for sure in any situation what they would do until they are dealing with the problem directly, but many people will stand strong on what "they would have done" Op you are correct about loving both kids. I don't believe anyone can know for sure what they would have done unless they experienced it.
JMO, and I want to believe I would have made changes like the other poster stated, by having him leave the house and get better therapy for the kids, but people/families hide in denial when faced with issues such as this.
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| Posted 6/5/15 8:58 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
As a mental health professional who has had some experience working with this population, I think Josh should have received immediate psychiatric evaluation and treatment. He should have been removed from the home pending intensive sex offender treatment. Like in a residential treatment center. Then the girls would have been protected and josh could have received proper treatment and monitoring.
These parents make me ill.
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| Posted 6/5/15 9:04 PM |
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Mom0710
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/14 682 total posts
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Chai77
As a mental health professional who has had some experience working with this population, I think Josh should have received immediate psychiatric evaluation and treatment. He should have been removed from the home pending intensive sex offender treatment. Like in a residential treatment center. Then the girls would have been protected and josh could have received proper treatment and monitoring.
These parents make me ill.
Agreed (except.I'm not a mental health professional) the girls are too brainwashed to think for themselves.
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| Posted 6/5/15 9:40 PM |
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Mom0710
Posted by Chai77
As a mental health professional who has had some experience working with this population, I think Josh should have received immediate psychiatric evaluation and treatment. He should have been removed from the home pending intensive sex offender treatment. Like in a residential treatment center. Then the girls would have been protected and josh could have received proper treatment and monitoring.
These parents make me ill.
Agreed (except.I'm not a mental health professional) the girls are too brainwashed to think for themselves.
Yep and I just had to turn off their interview. They were just mimicking everything their stupid parents said the other night. They have NO minds of their own and don't realize what they are even saying. They didn't know it happened but they told the police everything? HOW can you tell ANYONE everything that happened if you don't remember? Bunch of f'in liars.
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| Posted 6/5/15 9:57 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
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Me
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Chai77
As a mental health professional who has had some experience working with this population, I think Josh should have received immediate psychiatric evaluation and treatment. He should have been removed from the home pending intensive sex offender treatment. Like in a residential treatment center. Then the girls would have been protected and josh could have received proper treatment and monitoring.
These parents make me ill.
I agree.
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| Posted 6/5/15 9:59 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Chai77
As a mental health professional who has had some experience working with this population, I think Josh should have received immediate psychiatric evaluation and treatment. He should have been removed from the home pending intensive sex offender treatment. Like in a residential treatment center. Then the girls would have been protected and josh could have received proper treatment and monitoring.
These parents make me ill.
Yes, but you are looking at from a different point of view as a professional. I think when people are faced with this type of situation denial can play a big role as to why they don't take action
Message edited 6/5/2015 10:33:43 PM.
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| Posted 6/5/15 10:33 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by hmm
Posted by Chai77
As a mental health professional who has had some experience working with this population, I think Josh should have received immediate psychiatric evaluation and treatment. He should have been removed from the home pending intensive sex offender treatment. Like in a residential treatment center. Then the girls would have been protected and josh could have received proper treatment and monitoring.
These parents make me ill.
Yes, but you are looking at from a different point of view as a professional. I think when people are faced with this type of situation denial can play a big role as to why they don't take action
Yes, of course. I do not think that parents should be able to make this happen or devise such a plan on their own. Their only job was to seek proper help. Alert the proper authorities - the legitimate police, a psychologist, the pediatrician and allow them to do their jobs, which I believe would have included something along the lines of what I suggested.
I will not watch their interviews, so I really do not understand where there was a breakdown, but there clearly was. Their son demonstrated predatory, repeated molestation of vulnerable children residing in his home, and he was allowed to continue living there and repeatedly molested them. I don't care if the parents were in denial. I blame them. They allowed their daughters to be repeatedly victimized. Clearly this was majorly mishandled.
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| Posted 6/5/15 10:54 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Chai77
Posted by hmm
Posted by Chai77
As a mental health professional who has had some experience working with this population, I think Josh should have received immediate psychiatric evaluation and treatment. He should have been removed from the home pending intensive sex offender treatment. Like in a residential treatment center. Then the girls would have been protected and josh could have received proper treatment and monitoring.
These parents make me ill.
Yes, but you are looking at from a different point of view as a professional. I think when people are faced with this type of situation denial can play a big role as to why they don't take action
Yes, of course. I do not think that parents should be able to make this happen or devise such a plan on their own. Their only job was to seek proper help. Alert the proper authorities - the legitimate police, a psychologist, the pediatrician and allow them to do their jobs, which I believe would have included something along the lines of what I suggested.
I will not watch their interviews, so I really do not understand where there was a breakdown, but there clearly was. Their son demonstrated predatory, repeated molestation of vulnerable children residing in his home, and he was allowed to continue living there and repeatedly molested them. I don't care if the parents were in denial. I blame them. They allowed their daughters to be repeatedly victimized. Clearly this was majorly mishandled.
 
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| Posted 6/5/15 11:33 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I would have gotten him and the victims REAL therapy.
This. And it would've been after the 1st he came to me and admitted it. I wouldn't have left my daughters open to be victimized 2 more times before doing something. This is what I have a real problem with.
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| Posted 6/6/15 12:04 AM |
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hanna7636
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 921 total posts
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
If you watch the interview the girls and Josh (besides the place they sent him) saw an accredited professional counselor.
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| Posted 6/6/15 6:45 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by hanna7636
If you watch the interview the girls and Josh (besides the place they sent him) saw an accredited professional counselor.
They are so full of it. They keep changing their story. The parents flat out said they had him speak to a family friend from the church.
They have said so many conflicting things it's hard to believe anything that comes out of their mouths. 
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| Posted 6/6/15 8:28 AM |
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TheLorax
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Member since 2/06 5581 total posts
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Suzanne / SuzBride
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I would have gotten him and the victims REAL therapy.
This. And it would've been after the 1st he came to me and admitted it. I wouldn't have left my daughters open to be victimized 2 more times before doing something. This is what I have a real problem with.
This! And knowing these things happened, I would not sign my family up for a reality show. Rumors of this have been around for years, it isn't surprising it came out
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| Posted 6/6/15 8:51 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by hanna7636
If you watch the interview the girls and Josh (besides the place they sent him) saw an accredited professional counselor.
They are so full of it. They keep changing their story. The parents flat out said they had him speak to a family friend from the church.
They have said so many conflicting things it's hard to believe anything that comes out of their mouths.
I agree...every time they're called out on something they say "we did that"..."we did that too"... Yet somehow forgot to mention all of these important details in the first place!
I also find it sickening that the girls think "we were sleeping" is a legitimate defense. IMO that makes it worse!!!!
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| Posted 6/6/15 9:16 AM |
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Chai77
Posted by hmm
Posted by Chai77
As a mental health professional who has had some experience working with this population, I think Josh should have received immediate psychiatric evaluation and treatment. He should have been removed from the home pending intensive sex offender treatment. Like in a residential treatment center. Then the girls would have been protected and josh could have received proper treatment and monitoring.
These parents make me ill.
Yes, but you are looking at from a different point of view as a professional. I think when people are faced with this type of situation denial can play a big role as to why they don't take action
Yes, of course. I do not think that parents should be able to make this happen or devise such a plan on their own. Their only job was to seek proper help. Alert the proper authorities - the legitimate police, a psychologist, the pediatrician and allow them to do their jobs, which I believe would have included something along the lines of what I suggested.
I will not watch their interviews, so I really do not understand where there was a breakdown, but there clearly was. Their son demonstrated predatory, repeated molestation of vulnerable children residing in his home, and he was allowed to continue living there and repeatedly molested them. I don't care if the parents were in denial. I blame them. They allowed their daughters to be repeatedly victimized. Clearly this was majorly mishandled.
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| Posted 6/6/15 9:17 AM |
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by hanna7636
If you watch the interview the girls and Josh (besides the place they sent him) saw an accredited professional counselor.
That is all lies and WHAT were they seeing the counselor for if they didn't even know what happened? They claim they don't remember but then in the next breath say they poured their hearts out to the police. So which one is it?
The entire interview was scripted and I didn't notice but have read a few times how it looks like Jill had a paper on her lap that she was following.
That interviewer was horrible and they need someone who will ask the REAL questions and NOT back down when they come back with something that doesn't even relate to the question.
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| Posted 6/6/15 9:19 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Katareen
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by hanna7636
If you watch the interview the girls and Josh (besides the place they sent him) saw an accredited professional counselor.
They are so full of it. They keep changing their story. The parents flat out said they had him speak to a family friend from the church.
They have said so many conflicting things it's hard to believe anything that comes out of their mouths.
I agree...every time they're called out on something they say "we did that"..."we did that too"... Yet somehow forgot to mention all of these important details in the first place!
I also find it sickening that the girls think "we were sleeping" is a legitimate defense. IMO that makes it worse!!!!
What kills me with this whole "they were sleeping" thing, if that were actually true why on earth would you EVER, EVER, EVER tell these girls that it happened???!!! 
Seriously, if they didn't know it happened because they were asleep then why as a parent would you burden them with the information that their own brother inappropriately touched them??? I think that is just bizarre and kind of sick. It's our job as parents to protect our children and look out for their best interest, why INTENTIONALLY make them aware of something so horrible and emotionally damaging?? They could've just dealt with Josh appropriately without the girls EVER knowing. Telling them all those years ago does NOTHING except mess with their young heads.
I don't care what they say, they handled the whole situation completely wrong and failed both their daughters AND son. Religion doesn't fix everything and they sound like idiots when they say "god forgave him" as if that somehow rights all of his wrongs. He's sick, he never received proper help or intervention, and I would not be surprised if in the future you hear about him abusing his own children.
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| Posted 6/6/15 9:24 AM |
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by hanna7636
If you watch the interview the girls and Josh (besides the place they sent him) saw an accredited professional counselor.
They are so full of it. They keep changing their story. The parents flat out said they had him speak to a family friend from the church.
They have said so many conflicting things it's hard to believe anything that comes out of their mouths.
Yep they ARE full of it. The girls said "licensed". Licensed by WHOM? Gothard?
WHY would they get counselor anyway if they didn't even know it happened? And they HAD to repeat that Josh paid for his like daddy said? Give me a break.
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| Posted 6/6/15 9:27 AM |
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by TheLorax
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I would have gotten him and the victims REAL therapy.
This. And it would've been after the 1st he came to me and admitted it. I wouldn't have left my daughters open to be victimized 2 more times before doing something. This is what I have a real problem with.
This! And knowing these things happened, I would not sign my family up for a reality show. Rumors of this have been around for years, it isn't surprising it came out
How dumb can you be not to know that when you go on TV your skeletons WILL come out as people thrive on things like that.
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| Posted 6/6/15 9:28 AM |
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
EXACTLY and HOW did they pour their hearts out to the police when they don't remember anything? All lies.
They say that the public doesn't know the whole story. Well, Jessa, we read the 33 page document and it is ALL in there. They are just so uneducated and brainwashed that they all believe that the public is not smart enough to figure this all out. The public are not a bunch of bobbleheads who agree with you Jim Boob because you hold the purse strings and think you are the king.
These poor girls should have never gone on TV and their husbands should be ashamed for putting them in this position and should get out of dodge with them and live a normal life.
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| Posted 6/6/15 9:31 AM |
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StarsStripes
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 1192 total posts
Name:
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What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
They should have NOT gone on a reality television show.
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| Posted 6/6/15 12:19 PM |
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Re: What SHOULD the Duggars have done?
Posted by StarsStripes
They should have NOT gone on a reality television show.
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| Posted 6/6/15 12:20 PM |
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