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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
I don't understand why people feel it's OK to ask women such a personal question. i don't even talk about it with family or friends unless they do it first 
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Posted 3/3/08 5:19 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Your son is WONDERFUL and adorable and you're doing a fantastic job, BFing or not!
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| Posted 3/3/08 5:24 PM |
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my3boys
I love these boys
Member since 7/07 2711 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
I'm sorry people are making you feel bad but try not to let it get to you. I have 3 boys NEVER bf any of them nor did I try. I did not feel comfy doing so and second I'm a bad eater (lot of junk food  ) I never felt guilty either. My oldest is 10yrs old is in the 90% tile in all grades however he has some mood swings maybe if I had bf him he wouldn't have them  Anyhow I'm sure your doing a great job as a mommy and you have to do what's best for you. At least you tried it 
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| Posted 3/3/08 5:34 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by Janice
 I think all anyone can ask from a mom is that they try to BF. You should not feel any guilt if you tried.
I think there is just a huge breastfeeding movement going on right now. From a breastfeeder POV...we have to believe that it IS the best thing we can do for our babies or else why would we do it?
So those of us that didn't "try" should feel guilty? 
I still get that question too OP. It's very nosey and personal if you ask me. My (male) boss asked me that 3 days after I gave birth. I was a little shocked by that.
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| Posted 3/3/08 5:50 PM |
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Gatsbygirl
Please St. Therese....
Member since 10/07 8494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
I feel like asking why it matters to them! I faced ALOT of judgement for formula feeding. I feel that this can cause such a divide amongst moms 
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| Posted 3/3/08 6:02 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by Summerrluvv
So those of us that didn't "try" should feel guilty?
never said that. The OP did try, what more could she do?
If you never tried, I could see how later on that would make some feel guilty.
If you did not try and you don't feel guilty, well then good for you.
no reason to go on the defensive.
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| Posted 3/3/08 6:03 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by Janice
I think all anyone can ask from a mom is that they try to BF. You should not feel any guilt if you tried.
I think there is just a huge breastfeeding movement going on right now. From a breastfeeder POV...we have to believe that it IS the best thing we can do for our babies or else why would we do it?
ITA!!
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| Posted 3/3/08 6:05 PM |
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Cookiegobbler
My little love bugs!!
Member since 9/05 5759 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
You are doing a great job!! People should be praising you for raising such a wonderful son!
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| Posted 3/3/08 6:15 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Because SOME, NOT ALL (I have to clarify that) breastfeeding moms feel that because they did it, and they believe it to be best, everyone should.
I am not going to argue facts. I know the anti-bodies, IQ thing, less illness etc are stated. Do I necessarily believe it to be the complete truth in all cases? No.
SO MUCH has to do with parenting and genetics. I mean I formula fed but you can't imagine the time and dedication I've put into this child. He's a smart cookie (although going through issues now non related to how he was fed), rarely ever ill...BUT that is just one example. Statistics show overall breastfed children are healthier. Who knows??? In 10 years you may hear them saying different.
Maybe they'll invent a formula that makes babies sleep all night, ace all their tests and never ever ever get sick. They people will be wiping the enfamil off the shelves, lol!!!
anyways I digress. I think we all are great parents regardless of feeding styles. Heck, we all FEED OUR KIDS. Thats a great start right there! Lol!!
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| Posted 3/3/08 6:29 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by niikki-8-18-06
What bothers me the most is the people who don't even have children yet that judge you for not BFing. Mind your own business!
I agree, I BF my son for 4 weeks while supplementing. I will be honest I could have probably just BF but I didnt really like it and I felt just a bonded by feeding him son with a bottle. I dont feel bad, He is extremely happy and I am happy knowing how much I am feeding him and knowing that he is content.
I have a friend who is not married and has no kids and constantly asks me about whether I BF. When I told her once that I was supplementing because I couldnt satisfy DS, she tried giving me advice, which was way off because she was explaining to me tricks to get him to latch...that wasnt my issue. Some people just need to keep their noses out of other peoples businesses.
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| Posted 3/3/08 6:53 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by Janice
Posted by Summerrluvv
So those of us that didn't "try" should feel guilty?
never said that. The OP did try, what more could she do?
If you never tried, I could see how later on that would make some feel guilty.
If you did not try and you don't feel guilty, well then good for you.
no reason to go on the defensive.
"I think all anyone can ask from a mom is that they try to BF" To me that can be interpreted as if you didn't try, it's okay if someone tries to make you feel guilty. Perhaps if it was worded differently, I wouldn't have questioned it
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| Posted 3/3/08 7:23 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by maybebaby
Because SOME, NOT ALL (I have to clarify that) breastfeeding moms feel that because they did it, and they believe it to be best, everyone should.
I am not going to argue facts. I know the anti-bodies, IQ thing, less illness etc are stated. Do I necessarily believe it to be the complete truth in all cases? No.
SO MUCH has to do with parenting and genetics. I mean I formula fed but you can't imagine the time and dedication I've put into this child. He's a smart cookie (although going through issues now non related to how he was fed), rarely ever ill...BUT that is just one example. Statistics show overall breastfed children are healthier. Who knows??? In 10 years you may hear them saying different.
Maybe they'll invent a formula that makes babies sleep all night, ace all their tests and never ever ever get sick. They people will be wiping the enfamil off the shelves, lol!!!
anyways I digress. I think we all are great parents regardless of feeding styles. Heck, we all FEED OUR KIDS. Thats a great start right there! Lol!!
Well said
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| Posted 3/3/08 7:25 PM |
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by Summerrluvv
Posted by Janice
Posted by Summerrluvv
So those of us that didn't "try" should feel guilty?
never said that. The OP did try, what more could she do?
If you never tried, I could see how later on that would make some feel guilty.
If you did not try and you don't feel guilty, well then good for you.
no reason to go on the defensive.
"I think all anyone can ask from a mom is that they try to BF" To me that can be interpreted as if you didn't try, it's okay if someone tries to make you feel guilty. Perhaps if it was worded differently, I wouldn't have questioned it
I took it the same way.
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| Posted 3/3/08 8:00 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
I pumped with DD b/c she was a preemie and I wanted to give her all the help she could get. But I only did it for 2 weeks. I felt a bit guilty for stopping, but I was not eating and never had any water. I was getting less then an oz each time, so frustrating.
But I'm glad I did it and she got what she needed from me.
I never make any moms feel guilty about bf'ing, it's not up to me.
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| Posted 3/3/08 8:04 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by architectnycity
Posted by Summerrluvv
"I think all anyone can ask from a mom is that they try to BF" To me that can be interpreted as if you didn't try, it's okay if someone tries to make you feel guilty. Perhaps if it was worded differently, I wouldn't have questioned it
I took it the same way.
did you ped encourage you to try and BF?
BFing is best if the mother is capable. To ask that a mom does what is best, isn't that normal? To try it out and see if it works for you?
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| Posted 3/3/08 8:19 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
I don't think anyone should feel guilty about their decision. It is a personal choice. Yes, I am BFing(oh, and I do drink caffine and have a couple of glasses of wine at night. Apparently, that makes me a bad mother), but I certainly think that it is a personal choice and there is no right or wrong.
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| Posted 3/3/08 8:27 PM |
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by heidla
Yes, I am BFing(oh, and I do drink caffine and have a couple of glasses of wine at night. Apparently, that makes me a bad mother),
It always makes me laugh when people post how bad a breastfeeding mother is if she drinks caffiene or alcohol in moderation or if she doesn't eat perfectly all the time. Studies have shown there is nothing wrong with this. But this myth somehow persists (usually used to tear-down breastfeeding mothers).
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| Posted 3/3/08 8:36 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by Janice
Posted by architectnycity
Posted by Summerrluvv
"I think all anyone can ask from a mom is that they try to BF" To me that can be interpreted as if you didn't try, it's okay if someone tries to make you feel guilty. Perhaps if it was worded differently, I wouldn't have questioned it
I took it the same way.
did you ped encourage you to try and BF?
BFing is best if the mother is capable. To ask that a mom does what is best, isn't that normal? To try it out and see if it works for you?
..and when mom doesn't try it, it's okay to TRY to make her feel guilty? I think we'll just have to agree to disgree on this one and move on 
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| Posted 3/3/08 8:55 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
I don't think anyone should feel guilty. People do what they want to do.
The OP felt guilty, I said don't feel guilty.
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| Posted 3/3/08 9:00 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by Summerrluvv
Posted by Janice
Posted by architectnycity
Posted by Summerrluvv
"I think all anyone can ask from a mom is that they try to BF" To me that can be interpreted as if you didn't try, it's okay if someone tries to make you feel guilty. Perhaps if it was worded differently, I wouldn't have questioned it
I took it the same way.
did you ped encourage you to try and BF?
BFing is best if the mother is capable. To ask that a mom does what is best, isn't that normal? To try it out and see if it works for you?
..and when mom doesn't try it, it's okay to TRY to make her feel guilty? I think we'll just have to agree to disgree on this one and move on
Ultimately, it's not just what is best for your child, but what is best for the family unit. To have a happy, healthy child means having happy, healthy parents. If someone truly doesn't want to BF , I applaud the fact that they have the ability to recognize that it just isn't going to work for them. JMHO.
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| Posted 3/3/08 9:03 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
I pumped for 2 weeks and then stopped for medical reasons and part of me felt guilty but it was a huge burden to me as I was extremely ill and hospitalized.
The irony of it all is that in 14.5 months my daughter hardly been sick, has never had an ear infection and has at least 25 words! I am not disputing the "studies" I just think that it is terrible that when one does not breast feed you are made to feel as if (a) you are not doing the best for your child (b) your child will be sick for the greater part of its childhood, and (c) your child will be stupid.
I think you'll find cases of all three whether or not a child is breastfed.
Message edited 3/3/2008 9:34:30 PM.
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| Posted 3/3/08 9:03 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by Janice
I don't think anyone should feel guilty. People do what they want to do.
The OP felt guilty, I said don't feel guilty.
Right..but I'm still thinking back to your first statement, but I digress.
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| Posted 3/3/08 9:05 PM |
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
I always say, "Nope - these puppies are display only!"
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| Posted 3/3/08 9:57 PM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Well, i BF but don't give my 8 month old organic foods alll the time and i feel bad about that!
you just gotta do what you can and what you think is best!
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| Posted 3/3/08 10:47 PM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why is the first thing people ask did you breast feed? (VENT!!!!)
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I always say, "Nope - these puppies are display only!"
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| Posted 3/3/08 10:47 PM |
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