would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

normally i would say no, because i can easily get a sitter.

however, the wake i am going to is for my best friend's grandfather. she lives in NYC and works long hours, so as a result she hasn't been able to see DS since he was about 3 weeks old.

i thought maybe seeing him might "cheer her up" a little (for lack of a better term - i know she is grieving her grandfather and doesn't need to be cheered up).

what do you all think?

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I would. My grandfather passed away when Julia was a month old and I brought her to the wake with us, she also cheered everyone up a little.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

In this situation, I would simply call her to ask her honestly saying that you want to respect her wishes and will do as she asks and that you will not be offended in any way if she says you should leave your baby home because babysitter is not an issue!

Message edited 12/16/2008 9:22:55 AM.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I would bring DC. We had to bring Ds to a wake when he was barely a month, since my family was there I had no sitter.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I brought my nephew to a wake when he was 6 or 7 months old i think. I had no choice in bringing him... we had to.

Why wouldn't you bring the baby? They don't really know what's going on and everyone loves babies!

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

depends ot he relationship i had with the family of the deceased.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I wouldnt unless the baby was related to the deceased. Personally I dont think a wake is a place for an infant...

I think although it may cheer up some people others (maybe even your BFF) would be annoyed with it as its a place to pay your respects

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I was recently in this situation and I did not bring DD

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

If you have a babysitter, I would not bring him. Seeing him might make her smile for 1 second, but she is there to grieve. Your heart is in the right place, but I would avoid it.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I would bring DS if it was my BF and I thought it would cheer her up.

I remember being overwhelmed at my father's wake and I needed a "break" a few times. It's a long day emotionally draining day and it's nice to be able to have some positive energy on that day.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I had to bring DS to a wake when he was 4 months old because we did not have a sitter.

Message edited 12/16/2008 9:52:05 AM.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I would think it was fine but the last thing she may want to see at the wake is people fawning over your child.

It all depends on the person, etc.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

im not too sure. while some people may be cheered up, others may be annoyed. Perhaps you can offer your friend a lunch after evertyhing settles and bring ur baby. that would probally cheer her up
For me I wouldnt bring a baby. sorry

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

In that case, yes.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

Personally, I don't like when babies are at wakes - especially in the same room w/ the body. I wouldn't bring the baby in to the room w/ the casket - I would just stay in the waiting area.
But that's me.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I've brought my son to the wakes of 2 family members. We got a sitter for a friend’s parent that passed away. So I think it depends on the situation and how well you know everyone. If you only know your friend then I would say no. If you know the family well I would bring the baby. Also if you are unsure and can get someone to go with you can bring the baby in for a bit and then send them home or they can wait outside for you.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

Posted by aliwnec10

I brought my nephew to a wake when he was 6 or 7 months old i think. I had no choice in bringing him... we had to.

Why wouldn't you bring the baby? They don't really know what's going on and everyone loves babies!

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

I probably wouldn't unless asked to. I would be to nervous she would be to loud.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

Personally, I wouldn't. Part of the reason is that the Chinese have a lot of superstitions about it. Also, it is difficult enough when you are grieving without having to worry about diaper bags, feeding etc.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

Unless the baby was immediate family or we were close enough with the grieving family - I would leave DC with a sitter.

Your friend is so upset that she didn't even want to get on the phone so this is really hitting her hard. She may smile when she sees your DC, but it sounds like she needs her own space to grieve this loss

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

Your heart is in the right place and you truly want to cheer her up any way you can.

However, given what you said about her taking this very hard - you bringing your son, when you could have someone watch it, might come off a little offensive to her.

You're supposed to be there for her, to comfort her in her time of mourning. It MIGHT (I'm not saying it will - I don't know the girl) look to her that you're using the wake to show off your son.

So, my gut says that if you have someone, go alone and be there for her - and set up another time to meet your son.

Re: would you bring a 3-month-old to a wake?

thanks everyone for your responses