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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
No. And especially not in the case of living "rent free" as I would assume that means we would be living either with some one else or in someone else's house and that's really really not an option for us. It would be more of a consideration if we had a house that was paid off, but still the answer would probably be no.
It's an option now-DH and I made conservative lifestyle choices (moved to NC, drive cars that are paid off, have a Kia minivan instead of something twice as expensive) so that if I wanted to SAH or if something happened to one of us (job loss or otherwise) we could make it work. It would be tighter obviously, but certainly doable.
However, it's not something that fits with our family. Neither of us wants the added stress of having one bread winner (god forbid something happens to that person).
We like building a good savings, we like saving heavily for retirement, our kids education. We like having a few of life's extras for our family. We also like the effect that DD's daycare if having on her-she picks up a few habits we have to undo but she is learning and socializing sooo much it is worth it to us.
Every family has different tolerances and needs and priorities and I have great respect for people no matter what choice they make. Everything has a trade off-it's just a matter of figuring our which work best for your family.
What I WOULD like is that when the kids are in school that one of us could go part time or more our hours so that we can be home to meet the bus. We have to figure out a solution for this one still.
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Posted 2/15/10 9:11 AM  |
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MRSBA
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Before I actually had my son, I think I wouldn't have been sure of my answer. I have a good job, a career that I worked hard for, a master's degree. I make really good money for only working 4 days a week. And yet now, I would leave it all to be a SAHM. 
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| Posted 2/15/10 9:15 AM |
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TLC1018
I AM A BIG SISTER!!
Member since 8/07 3880 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
I did it and I could not be happier! My job understood my reasons behind it, and while I miss my friends at work, I love being home with my daughter every day. I have no regrets at all!
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| Posted 2/15/10 9:28 AM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
I did!
I had a great career that I worked hard for and enjoyed a lot. I made a six figure salary, bonuses, stock options, all that. But honestly I quit working four years ago, and life has never been better.
For me, the choice was clear. I see my DH as a working parent, caught in the whole mindset of trying to make every moment "quality time", "living for the weekend", etc. It isn't for me!
Also I talk to all the grandparents picking up their grandkids from DS's nursery school.... they complain to me about how they are tired and miss their freedom. I would never burden my parents that way and prefer to let them enjoy their visits with our kids.
Every family is different... "your mileage may vary", lol... but this lifestyle works very well for us!
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| Posted 2/15/10 9:28 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Posted by computergirl
Also I talk to all the grandparents picking up their grandkids from DS's nursery school.... they complain to me about how they are tired and miss their freedom. I would never burden my parents that way and prefer to let them enjoy their visits with our kids.
!
this made me crack up!
I feel like I am always hanging out with grandmothers I can't wait till my mother lives closer to have a more intimate relationship with my kid.
but, it is funny what they say. One grandmother makes McDonald's deals with grandkids. As long as kids don't sell her out, she takes them to McDonald's once a week, she says it is her favorite day of the week. Kids in play area, eating, get in the van to go home, they are tired, fed, house is still clean. Her daughter is so against McDonalds, grandmother says she is taking them out for chicken and fries, that her daughter acts like she is taking them to a bar for shots.
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| Posted 2/15/10 9:34 AM |
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alisha
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1199 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
I think I would need to work, at least PT.
I like having somewhere to go other than home. As much as I love DD I was going stir crazy at home during maternity leave.
I enjoy my professional life as much as I enjoy being a mom.
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| Posted 2/15/10 10:29 AM |
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lakadema
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1180 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Posted by computergirl
I did!
For me, the choice was clear. I see my DH as a working parent, caught in the whole mindset of trying to make every moment "quality time", "living for the weekend", etc. It isn't for me!
Also I talk to all the grandparents picking up their grandkids from DS's nursery school.... they complain to me about how they are tired and miss their freedom. I would never burden my parents that way and prefer to let them enjoy their visits with our kids.
Every family is different... "your mileage may vary", lol... but this lifestyle works very well for us!
I agree with everything here except I left a tenured teaching position on Long Island. Plenty of people call me stupid for it, but the way I look at it is he is only young once and if it means it takes me 5 years to find a tenure track position after he starts school, then so be it. I have not missed any of his firsts and I don't think I will be laying on my death bed saying "Oh I wish I would have worked while DS was young." We have a lot of insurance, including LTD, life insurance and savings in case anything happens to DH which I think is important for any woman to have(working or not) if you cannot make all of the bills on your salary.
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| Posted 2/15/10 12:14 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Posted by lakadema
e have a lot of insurance, including LTD, life insurance and savings in case anything happens to DH which I think is important for any woman to have(working or not) if you cannot make all of the bills on your salary.
Yes, the way I see it is that as long as I have my degrees, if I HAD to get a job if my DH were not in the picture, I could and would do it. It's not like the degrees are going anywhere. They will always be there. As for getting rusty, I would have to get over that if I had to work. And I would.
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| Posted 2/15/10 12:17 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Posted by Goobster
Posted by lakadema
e have a lot of insurance, including LTD, life insurance and savings in case anything happens to DH which I think is important for any woman to have(working or not) if you cannot make all of the bills on your salary.
Yes, the way I see it is that as long as I have my degrees, if I HAD to get a job if my DH were not in the picture, I could and would do it. It's not like the degrees are going anywhere. They will always be there. As for getting rusty, I would have to get over that if I had to work. And I would.
Yes, I agree with all this.
I understand the worry about being out of the work force in case your DH dies or leaves you. It is a valid concern. But let's face it, life is full of risks. When you decide to have a child, there are all sorts of horrible possible outcomes: miscarriage, stillbirth, birth defects, disabilities, etc. When you decide to get married, you don't know if your DH is going to ultimately cheat, abuse you, battle addictions, etc. But we take the risk anyway, because the joys of having children and getting married outweigh the what-ifs.
So in my case, I understood that my DH might die, or might leave me, but I wasn't going to give up the one-time opportunity to be here for my kids in order to hedge against this risk.
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| Posted 2/15/10 12:23 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
I am the breadwinner in my family, so DH would stay home before I would. I would like to work 3 or 4 days a week instead of 5 though.
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| Posted 2/15/10 1:17 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
thats a tough one... because even if our house was paid off and only dh had to work i might be worried about him having the stress of being the breadwinner, and worrying if he got laid off what a hardship it would be- being that its our only salary......
i think if one of us were to stay home it would more likely be hubby and i would continue working- but it would have to be knowing that the person who's working is guaranteed to stay employeed.
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| Posted 2/15/10 2:47 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
I did exactly this 2 years ago when DS was born. Do I regret it? Not at all.
At this point though, he is getting older, and I'm starting to miss work--my ideal job would be part-time though I'm not finding much out there at all right now.
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| Posted 2/15/10 3:24 PM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Definitely! I am lucky to have a very long maternity leave. I get 9 months off, took it with DD and am currently on it again for #2. I love being at home with my DD, spending the day playing with her, having time to cook, clean and take care of my home. I could totally do without the stress of commuting, working full-time and trying to figure out how to fit it all in/get it all done.
I love my job and do realize how hard I've worked to pass my CPA exam, get my Masters and get where I am. But at this time of my life, nothing is more important than my home life. I spent the last 13 years focused on my career, now I just love my family more.
Message edited 2/15/2010 4:25:46 PM.
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| Posted 2/15/10 4:25 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
P/T. When I went back to work I went back part time. I like the balance I have right now of work & home. Thankfully DS is close by so I can check up on him during the day if I need a "Natie hug".
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| Posted 2/15/10 4:26 PM |
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TaraHutch
True beauty
Member since 10/07 9888 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
I don't think I could ever totally give up my career, I'd still have to do something at least part of the time, teaching music in some capacity. When I was on maternity leave and hadn't taught in months, I actually taught a lesson to a former student and it felt SO GOOD to be a teacher again. It's part of my identity, and I don't want to lose it.
Taking off a year would be great though, especially if we have a #2. Ideally having something like teaching a Music Together class, or teaching piano lessons on the side would be awesome, so I still felt stimulated in that sense.
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| Posted 2/15/10 4:30 PM |
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jaysee00
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1647 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Yes, yes and yes! Did I say yes? 
I would in a heartbeat. I do love my job. I am a teacher and I do have a lot of time off. I am so grateful for that, but I just absolutely love when I am home. I love being with my DD all of the time and I get so much done in my house when I am home.
For me, life would just be less complicated. I know that that's not always the case for others. I've always been the kind of person that only likes to concentrate on one thing at a time. I think that's why I love the idea of just having to think of my daughter/home and nothing else.
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| Posted 2/15/10 4:57 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
I would and I did. However, I didn't answer the poll because I certainly didn't do it "in a hearbeat." I was pretty much kicking and screaming! I was a teacher too and SOOO much of my identity was wrapped up in that...and I loved it. Plus, it was never my dream to SAH in the first place. But, financially it made no sense to pay for childcare (my parents/ILs watched DD#1 when I went back to work, but I felt it would have been unfair to ask them to watch 2 children). My children have me now; I'll return to work in a few years and everyone will be happy. My sanity's even improved since DD#1 has been in school full-time!!
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| Posted 2/15/10 5:03 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
nooooooooo
I am a better mom and overall person getting up and going to work everyday. I would be the worst SAHM........
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| Posted 2/15/10 5:18 PM |
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JRD2008
CT. here we come!!
Member since 5/08 2944 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Posted by prncsslehcar
No. Not at all. I love my job a lot and wouldn't quit or work any less hard as I do if I had no need for the money. I honestly can say I love working.
I agree with you 100% Rachel!
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| Posted 2/15/10 5:24 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Unless you have millions saved in the bank, it's way too scary these days to have one breadwinner. And, I would always be afraid to leave the workforce for an extended period of time - I think it's imperative that a woman always be able to support herself if need be.
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| Posted 2/15/10 5:28 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Posted by computergirl
Posted by Goobster
Posted by lakadema
e have a lot of insurance, including LTD, life insurance and savings in case anything happens to DH which I think is important for any woman to have(working or not) if you cannot make all of the bills on your salary.
Yes, the way I see it is that as long as I have my degrees, if I HAD to get a job if my DH were not in the picture, I could and would do it. It's not like the degrees are going anywhere. They will always be there. As for getting rusty, I would have to get over that if I had to work. And I would.
Yes, I agree with all this.
I understand the worry about being out of the work force in case your DH dies or leaves you. It is a valid concern. But let's face it, life is full of risks. When you decide to have a child, there are all sorts of horrible possible outcomes: miscarriage, stillbirth, birth defects, disabilities, etc. When you decide to get married, you don't know if your DH is going to ultimately cheat, abuse you, battle addictions, etc. But we take the risk anyway, because the joys of having children and getting married outweigh the what-ifs.
So in my case, I understood that my DH might die, or might leave me, but I wasn't going to give up the one-time opportunity to be here for my kids in order to hedge against this risk.
ITA!
Mortgage/ rent is THE largest expense. If you don't have to pay that, you only have utilities, car payments etc, you def. don't need two people working. w one person working you could save so much and buy big ticket items cash. I would love to have no mortgage, we would be set for life! if this is your situation OP good for you!!
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| Posted 2/15/10 5:33 PM |
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JRD2008
CT. here we come!!
Member since 5/08 2944 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Posted by computergirl
Also I talk to all the grandparents picking up their grandkids from DS's nursery school.... they complain to me about how they are tired and miss their freedom. I would never burden my parents that way and prefer to let them enjoy their visits with our kids.
Not every grandparent is like this. My parents are selling their house in LI this summer to move up to CT to be close to us. My mother is actually hurt that I won't take my kids out of daycare to let her watch them. I feel like you do, that I do not want to burden my parents with helping to raise their grandchildren- but my mom may pull the kids out of daycare herself!
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| Posted 2/15/10 5:35 PM |
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Dulcinea
Weekend Warrior
Member since 3/08 2530 total posts
Name:
Dulcinea
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Posted by maybesoon
ITA!
Mortgage/ rent is THE largest expense. If you don't have to pay that, you only have utilities, car payments etc, you def. don't need two people working. w one person working you could save so much and buy big ticket items cash. I would love to have no mortgage, we would be set for life! if this is your situation OP good for you!!
I pose the question because I'm in this situation right now and would love to just stop working 'cus it's so important for me, not strangers in daycare, to raise DS.
Besides, isn't that what parents in the 50's do when homes are so affordable that you dont need 2 incomes to mortgage a home?
Anyway, I would do it in a heartbeat but DH doesn't seem to like it and my family members, who all work fulltime, don't seem to think it's a smart move. Anyway, that's another thread though...
Thanks to all for responding!
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| Posted 2/15/10 5:53 PM |
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beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
Member since 5/05 4114 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
I wouldn't but I think I have a great schedule being a teacher. Plus, with DH's job he is able to stay home with the kids 4 days a week, so we really only need a babysitter 1 day a week. If we needed one 5 days a week, I might have a different perspective on it.
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| Posted 2/15/10 5:55 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you quit your job and become SAHM?...
Posted by Dulcinea
Anyway, I would do it in a heartbeat but DH doesn't seem to like it and my family members, who all work fulltime, don't seem to think it's a smart move. Anyway, that's another thread though...
Thanks to all for responding!
I just want to tell you that my Inlaws were very upset when I left my job. tried to convince me not to leave when I told them I was thinking about it. they wanted to watch my DS. my MIL was so upset she was having anxiety and dizzy spells which I felt very badly about. turns out, she did not get to take care of her 3 sons, her MIL did while she worked FT. and she told us that this was her chance to have that. I NEVER want to be in that position, I'd rather be broke. my inlaws have $ up the wazoo so it's never an easy choice. HTH with your decision
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| Posted 2/15/10 6:14 PM |
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