WWYD? Updated.

So I have a friend who is a party promoter at NYC clubs. For years, I went to her parties. Some I paid for, some she comped me. I stopped going when I had DD. I even went to her birthday party 7 months pregnant. They almost didn't let me in.

Once i stopped going to her parties, I haven't seen her. She never came over to see DD (who is almost 2) and has never met DD. We do e-mail from time to time.

So I got her mass e-mail about her b-day party. DH and I thought it woudl be nice to go. So I e-mailed her. She told me I could buy tickets to her b-day party, at nearly $30 each for "discounted" tix.

Now the party starts at 10:30. No way our babysitter woudl start the night that late, so we need her to come by 9. Plus taxis, etc... we are talking an expensive night. I really don't want to spend $60 just to get in the door of a "friend's" birthday party.

So when I tell her I'm not coming, should I be honest and say, I just don't want to pay the cover? Or just tell her I couldn't find a babysitter?


Update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
So I took your advice. I just e-mailed her that I couldn't come, but would love to see her. I didn't give her any excuse. We'll see if she will make the effort to see us.

Thanks girls!

Message edited 2/19/2008 11:29:39 AM.

Re: WWYD?

She wants you to come celebrate with her and you have to pay a cover?

Come celebrate my birthday and bring me a gift is pretty much what she is saying..even though you don't have to shop.

Pretty rude, no?

I imagine that her bringing in all of these "friends" to this place will help her standing with the venue as well. Sounds like she's using her "friends".

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but DH had a friend like this..

we are no longer friends.

Re: WWYD?

I would tell her you can't find a babysitter.

I used to promote as well (and still dabble in it) - and whenever I threw a birthday party, never did my friends get charged. My guestlist was free, and if we wanted to get VIP seating, then bottle service was discounted.

I'll end by saying this...I am too old to be paying to get into a club. I avoid it unless there's a celebrity performance of course.

Re: WWYD?

If I haven't seen someone in 2 yrs I wouldn't go to the party.
I know peoples lives get busy, but I don't think there is anyone I haven't seen in 2 yrs that I would still consider a friend and go out of my way to see at their party.
That's just me. I would just RSVP that we had other plans.

Re: WWYD?

I hear ya Susan. I agree. Its been a sore spot before when she offered to "host" my 30th b-day, and then made my friend's pay a cover.

But its her job. She throws parties for a living. Its how she makes money. So I get it. I'm just a little annoyed that she hasn't seen us in a while and is still charging us the full cover charge.

Re: WWYD?

I would just tell her you can't go. Don't even give a reason. This chic doesn't sound like a *real* friend, but a fair-weather friend who comes around when it's convenient for her. I'd do some spring cleaning with this one and ditch her.

Re: WWYD?

Honestly, I wouldn't even respond. I wouldnt feel the need to give an explaination.

This "friend" never acknowledged the most important aspect of your life-your child!!
ANd then has the nerve to charge you to celebrate her birthday???Who needs friends like this.

You mentioned that you & DH thought it would be nice to go....why dont you just go out & enjoy a nice night out alone-or with REAL friends!!!

You are a better person than me to even still be talking to her!!!

Re: WWYD?

Re: WWYD?

I would say I can't make it & not give a reason.

I wouldn't say I couldn't get a babysitter or the J. was sick - or anything having to do with dd. I wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea that having a child "changed" me in the ways she would think.

The reason I wouldn't go is I don't think she's a very good friend. She does not make any effort to see me (did she even acknowledge that J. was born?) & then inviting me to a party that she makes money off of me.

If I wanted to acknowledge her birthday, I'd treat her to brunch. Even that's probably too much though - I think I'd just let this friendship fade away.

Re: WWYD?

Re: WWYD?

Re: WWYD?

To be completely honest, If it was me I wouldn't go to the party because the friendship seems like you make a lot of effort to go out/see her and she doesn't really reciprocate. However, some things are just better left unsaid and I would just say it's too late for a babysitter. If you still do want to see her, offer to take her out to dinner or something at a time/day that's convenient to both of you.