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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Bridex100
I don't think it is a big deal. I would let DD go and have a good time.
I do think parents should pay but I would still let my kids go if it was pay per person.
This. Bottom line is, your daughter wants to go and if you can afford it, then let her go. Is it tacky - yes. Can you control what other people do that you might not agree with - no. Just do what's best for your kid. (The only thing I would be careful about - if they split the bill evenly - which I think would be good possibility - $25 might not be enough to cover everything. I wouldn't want your daughter to not have enough money and be embarrassed, so maybe give her a little more, just in case).
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Posted 10/5/16 11:16 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: WWYD
Just from my experience at hibachi restaurants, there is usually an upsell for the fried rice and you pay for a soda plus the meal. So it will likely be more money than you might be expecting. I'd have your DD ask for a separate check or when you drop off maybe you can go in and pre-order pay her check.
I would personally never invite group of kids out to dinner and then expect them to each pay for themselves. At the same time your child is eating the meal at the restaurant and if I paid or not I would still get a $25+- gift for her friend.
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| Posted 10/5/16 11:50 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Bridex100
I don't think it is a big deal. I would let DD go and have a good time.
I do think parents should pay but I would still let my kids go if it was pay per person.
This
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| Posted 10/5/16 11:58 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by KarenK122
I think it's definitely tacky to ask the kids to go and then not cover their meals. They are not adults and can't really "pay" for themselves.
I would go with $25 and send a small gift. I would call the parents though to clarify.
On a side note, maybe I'm living under a rock, but what restaurant (except for a fast food one) would serve a group of 13 year old girls dinner with no adult present, at least at table close by.
Uh any place? I was out at decent restaurants, obviously not 5 star ones, with my friends at that age. You're in high school at that age, not a kid.
13 is middle school not high school and I didn't say they couldn't do it, I just have never seen that in any restaurant I have been too. If they do great for them, I was just asking a question because I have never seen it without an adult present.
Well I was 13 when I started HS, as were almost all of my friends.
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| Posted 10/5/16 12:43 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by NervousNell
I want to know what 13 year old is in HS?
Damn.
I was...so were most of my friends. 17 when I graduated. I didn't skip any grades either.
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| Posted 10/5/16 12:44 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by evrythng4areason
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by KarenK122
I think it's definitely tacky to ask the kids to go and then not cover their meals. They are not adults and can't really "pay" for themselves.
I would go with $25 and send a small gift. I would call the parents though to clarify.
On a side note, maybe I'm living under a rock, but what restaurant (except for a fast food one) would serve a group of 13 year old girls dinner with no adult present, at least at table close by.
Uh any place? I was out at decent restaurants, obviously not 5 star ones, with my friends at that age. You're in high school at that age, not a kid.
You're NOT in high school at age 13!! I turned 13 in SEVENTH GRADE. There is a BIG difference between a JHS kid and a HS kid. My parents weren't strict but I certainly wasn't going out to dinner by myself with friends at 13 years old. That's ridiculous.
I really don't think it's that ridiculous for a group of teenage girls to go out by themselves. And most 13 year olds are in 8th grade, but anybody born up until December of this year would already be in 9th
No, they aren't. I was born in March, I was on the older side for my grade. I turned 13 in 7th, not 8th and not even close to 9th. A group of 7th graders going out for a hibachi dinner is comical to me. Too young. For my 13th birthday my parents let me had a sleepover.
Yes I was a March birthday as well. I was 15 in 9th grade....
No way a 13 year old is in HS no matter what month they were born, unless they skipped a grade or something like that.
Exactly!
Im glad you can speak for everyone in the world!
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| Posted 10/5/16 12:46 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by NervousNell
I want to know what 13 year old is in HS?
Damn.
I was...so were most of my friends. 17 when I graduated. 17 when I was a freshman in College. Maybe we do things differently in Queens. All my friends had some type of job too, so yeah, we went out. I didn't skip any grades either.
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| Posted 10/5/16 12:51 PM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by evrythng4areason
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by KarenK122
I think it's definitely tacky to ask the kids to go and then not cover their meals. They are not adults and can't really "pay" for themselves.
I would go with $25 and send a small gift. I would call the parents though to clarify.
On a side note, maybe I'm living under a rock, but what restaurant (except for a fast food one) would serve a group of 13 year old girls dinner with no adult present, at least at table close by.
Uh any place? I was out at decent restaurants, obviously not 5 star ones, with my friends at that age. You're in high school at that age, not a kid.
You're NOT in high school at age 13!! I turned 13 in SEVENTH GRADE. There is a BIG difference between a JHS kid and a HS kid. My parents weren't strict but I certainly wasn't going out to dinner by myself with friends at 13 years old. That's ridiculous.
I really don't think it's that ridiculous for a group of teenage girls to go out by themselves. And most 13 year olds are in 8th grade, but anybody born up until December of this year would already be in 9th
No, they aren't. I was born in March, I was on the older side for my grade. I turned 13 in 7th, not 8th and not even close to 9th. A group of 7th graders going out for a hibachi dinner is comical to me. Too young. For my 13th birthday my parents let me had a sleepover.
Yes I was a March birthday as well. I was 15 in 9th grade....
No way a 13 year old is in HS no matter what month they were born, unless they skipped a grade or something like that.
Exactly!
Im glad you can speak for everyone in the world!
I didn't skip a single grade and was 13 in 9th grade. Why are people so pissy about this?
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| Posted 10/5/16 1:10 PM |
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2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!
Member since 5/10 2954 total posts
Name:
D
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WWYD
I can't believe how off tangent you ladies get..
First off She never even said no adult was going to be there so your crazy debates about how old a 9th grader is is a moot point.
Second yes of course you can be 13 in H.S, my son is in 7th grade now...his whole class was 11 turning 12 this year.
Now if we do the math then in 8th they would be 12 turning 13 and 9th they would be 13 turning 14....and since it's still only October I'm sure there are plenty of freshman who have not turned 14 yet.
Third...I'm not sure if anyone here has daughters over the age of 6,7,8 etc. but 13 year old girls are pretty mature (a lot more so than boys at that age) and even if the mom wasn't going and was dropping/picking them up I'm sure they know how to order their food and sit in a chair.
We were constantly eating up at the local friendlys at that age.
Lastly, like always I'm pretty sure she asked the opinion on the amount of money to give, cost of dinner, gift options etc.
Message edited 10/5/2016 1:22:16 PM.
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| Posted 10/5/16 1:21 PM |
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GoodThoughts
Dreams do come true
Member since 2/12 2259 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by NervousNell
I want to know what 13 year old is in HS?
Damn.
I was 13 in 9th grade.
I was 13 in 9th grade, too.
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| Posted 10/5/16 1:22 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by evrythng4areason
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by KarenK122
I think it's definitely tacky to ask the kids to go and then not cover their meals. They are not adults and can't really "pay" for themselves.
I would go with $25 and send a small gift. I would call the parents though to clarify.
On a side note, maybe I'm living under a rock, but what restaurant (except for a fast food one) would serve a group of 13 year old girls dinner with no adult present, at least at table close by.
Uh any place? I was out at decent restaurants, obviously not 5 star ones, with my friends at that age. You're in high school at that age, not a kid.
You're NOT in high school at age 13!! I turned 13 in SEVENTH GRADE. There is a BIG difference between a JHS kid and a HS kid. My parents weren't strict but I certainly wasn't going out to dinner by myself with friends at 13 years old. That's ridiculous.
I really don't think it's that ridiculous for a group of teenage girls to go out by themselves. And most 13 year olds are in 8th grade, but anybody born up until December of this year would already be in 9th
No, they aren't. I was born in March, I was on the older side for my grade. I turned 13 in 7th, not 8th and not even close to 9th. A group of 7th graders going out for a hibachi dinner is comical to me. Too young. For my 13th birthday my parents let me had a sleepover.
Yes I was a March birthday as well. I was 15 in 9th grade....
No way a 13 year old is in HS no matter what month they were born, unless they skipped a grade or something like that.
Exactly!
Im glad you can speak for everyone in the world!
I didn't skip a single grade and was 13 in 9th grade. Why are people so pissy about this?
It's freaking unbelievable!!!! There's at least 8 people who have stated they were 13 in HS and they still insist no that can't be true
I don't know what this 9th grade nonsense is...I went 1st through 8th grade in same school, then started HIGH SCHOOL at 13 and started COLLEGE at 17.
If your kid is not mature enough to go and yo are not comfortable with it, don't send them, You are the mom!
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| Posted 10/5/16 1:26 PM |
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jeanyus27
Life is beautiful
Member since 8/08 2543 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by GoodThoughts
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by NervousNell
I want to know what 13 year old is in HS?
Damn.
I was 13 in 9th grade.
I was 13 in 9th grade, too.
Me too, I turned 14 a few weeks in.
But I agree with saying let her go regardless, and give a small gift. And hope it doesn't become a trend among them to all want to go to dinner for their birthdays lol.
This just reminded me of my 13th birthday, I had a sleepover. One girl let her mom pick out my gift & she was so embarrassed to give it to me...it was Rap Musk!! That spray perfume that had a pink ballcap as the cap haha. Not sure if anyone remembers that. Sorry to go off topic, I just haven't thought about that in years!
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| Posted 10/5/16 1:30 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by KarenK122
I think it's definitely tacky to ask the kids to go and then not cover their meals. They are not adults and can't really "pay" for themselves.
I would go with $25 and send a small gift. I would call the parents though to clarify.
On a side note, maybe I'm living under a rock, but what restaurant (except for a fast food one) would serve a group of 13 year old girls dinner with no adult present, at least at table close by.
Uh any place? I was out at decent restaurants, obviously not 5 star ones, with my friends at that age. You're in high school at that age, not a kid.
You're NOT in high school at age 13!! I turned 13 in SEVENTH GRADE. There is a BIG difference between a JHS kid and a HS kid. My parents weren't strict but I certainly wasn't going out to dinner by myself with friends at 13 years old. That's ridiculous.
Not that it matters but actually some kids could be, I was 13 for part of high school. Didnt skip grades either. My birthday is in November so I turned 14 in 9th grade whereas most kids turn 15. I was always a "year behind." We definitely did girls dinners then too. Not going to capital grille but pizza, sushi, hibachi was normal.
Also, just wanted to add I am not sure $25 will cover a hibachi dinner between Tax and Tip. I feel like most dinners start at about $20 and don't include a drink. Obvious she'll have to work within her budget but wanted to point that out. Maybe Google the menu.
I have to doubt her parents organized this, but I guess I wouldn't put it passed people. I'd probably feel bad not sending a gift thoufh so I'd just give in and do it at least something small.
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| Posted 10/5/16 1:38 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by jeanyus27
Posted by GoodThoughts
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by NervousNell
I want to know what 13 year old is in HS?
Damn.
I was 13 in 9th grade.
I was 13 in 9th grade, too.
Me too, I turned 14 a few weeks in.
But I agree with saying let her go regardless, and give a small gift. And hope it doesn't become a trend among them to all want to go to dinner for their birthdays lol.
This just reminded me of my 13th birthday, I had a sleepover. One girl let her mom pick out my gift & she was so embarrassed to give it to me...it was Rap Musk!! That spray perfume that had a pink ballcap as the cap haha. Not sure if anyone remembers that. Sorry to go off topic, I just haven't thought about that in years!
But this girl is 12 and just turning 13. All those posting about starting hs at 13 are off by a year. The girl is 12. Regardless the op has said they are in 8th grade.
It's a crappy situation bc the op doesn't want to spend a ton but I'm sure her daughter doesn't want to be embarrassed about giving a cheap gift (I think we can all agree most 13 year olds embarrass easily). I would try to spend about 20 or less ands just try to score a great deal on something your daughter will be happy giving.
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| Posted 10/5/16 1:42 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by NervousNell
I want to know what 13 year old is in HS?
Damn.
I was in HS at 13. I turned 14 in November of 9th grade.
Now that I think of it, I was 13 when I started 9th grade. However, in my district 9th grade and 8th grade was middle school.
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| Posted 10/5/16 1:45 PM |
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Eunyboo
<3
Member since 7/12 4376 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by NervousNell
I want to know what 13 year old is in HS?
Damn.
I was 13 in 9th grade.
Same. I turned 14 in March of 9th grade.
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| Posted 10/5/16 1:59 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Eunyboo
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by NervousNell
I want to know what 13 year old is in HS?
Damn.
I was 13 in 9th grade.
Same. I turned 14 in March of 9th grade.
So that means you would have turned 5 in March of Kindergarten right?
Wow that is a LATE cutoff!
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| Posted 10/5/16 2:04 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by hmm
I think $25-30 for dinner is a lot for dinner and a 13 yr old. Dinners run about $11 I think the last time I went to a place like that.
I too think its rude to ask people to pay, perhaps you can pre pay for her meal when you drop her off, leave her cash for the tip (or pay that) and bring a small gift
PS, I too would call to clarify the details, just to make sure she got the info correct and was not lied to etc.
$11 at Hibachi?! Where do you go? That's crazy cheap. It's like $11 for a kids meal, but at 13 they won't let you order off the kids menu, and they are SO strict at those places. We eat Hibachi all the time, and it's usually around $20 for the hibachi chicken, then add in fried rice and noodles at another like $6, plus a drink, then add the tax and tip. It's definitely not cheap! I still can't imagine the mom taking them all out to eat to celebrate her daughter's bday and then making the guests pay. Maybe she is tight on funds herself. But in that instance, you just invite like 2 friends. We took all of my son's friends out for his 16th birthday and I wouldn't have dreamed of asking for payment from them.
As for a gift, I would just do a $20 Sephora gift card, and call it a day.
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| Posted 10/5/16 2:12 PM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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WWYD
You know what I find so annoying in these threads is how people are so quick to act like its impossible for people to do things differently than how they would do it. Maybe she asks the kids to pay, maybe you pay for all of them, the condescension is just to effing absurd sometimes.
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| Posted 10/5/16 2:19 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Kitten1929
You know what I find so annoying in these threads is how people are so quick to act like its impossible for people to do things differently than how they would do it. Maybe she asks the kids to pay, maybe you pay for all of them, the condescension is just to effing absurd sometimes.
It's called etiquette.
If the kids decided to get together on their own and go out for dinner, they should pay for themselves.
If a parent is inviting a select group of girls out for a birthday dinner for his/her daughter, they should be flipping the bill for the group.
Hibachi is a decent priced meal so to expect someone to pay for that PLUS a gift, which you KNOW full well they would expect, is a bit much.
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| Posted 10/5/16 2:28 PM |
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2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!
Member since 5/10 2954 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: WWYD
But the mom didn't invite anyone for her daughter. She didn't send an invite out asking to "cover your plate" the friend asked the daughter out to dinner to celebrate her birthday.
Same as your friend asking you to go out and celebrate their birthday. You would be prepared to pay for yourself no?
Usually at 13 parties are over with...maybe the girl wanted to still get together with friends?
I never assume anyone is paying for my older children unless I spoke with the parent and know for a fact, or I received an invitation for a birthday party. Otherwise I always give them money to celebrate with their friends.
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| Posted 10/5/16 2:35 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: WWYD
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Eunyboo
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by NervousNell
I want to know what 13 year old is in HS?
Damn.
I was 13 in 9th grade.
Same. I turned 14 in March of 9th grade.
So that means you would have turned 5 in March of Kindergarten right?
Wow that is a LATE cutoff!
I feel like people's math are off. I am a May baby who started K at 5. I was 14 in 9th grade turned 15 end of it the following year. My sister who is a December baby started at 13. My son will start HS at 13. Unless you started K at 6 or later or got left back you should've been 14 starting HS or unless you JHS ended in 9th grade. Winter babies who weren't held back - 13.
As for the OP, it's kind of weird but I would let DD go if you're comfortable with who she is going with. I would also give a little more just in case but it does suck when money is tight- ahh the unexpected expenses that pop up with kids. I feel you!
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| Posted 10/5/16 2:45 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by 2boys1girl
But the mom didn't invite anyone for her daughter. She didn't send an invite out asking to "cover your plate" the friend asked the daughter out to dinner to celebrate her birthday.
Same as your friend asking you to go out and celebrate their birthday. You would be prepared to pay for yourself no?
Usually at 13 parties are over with...maybe the girl wanted to still get together with friends?
I never assume anyone is paying for my older children unless I spoke with the parent and know for a fact, or I received an invitation for a birthday party. Otherwise I always give them money to celebrate with their friends.
I think we need clarification from the OP. She did say the mom will be at the dinner which tells me, the parents organized the dinner for their daughter. If that's the case, they should be paying.
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| Posted 10/5/16 2:46 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD
Posted by Kitten1929
You know what I find so annoying in these threads is how people are so quick to act like its impossible for people to do things differently than how they would do it. Maybe she asks the kids to pay, maybe you pay for all of them, the condescension is just to effing absurd sometimes.
You are entitled to your opinion regarding certain issues, as we have clearly seen around here lately, just as we are all entitled to ours 
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| Posted 10/5/16 2:50 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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WWYD
I think if the mom is going, she's paying. Otherwise, I would think the daughter would rather go sans mom. I really don't think a group of 13 year old girls need supervision at a hibachi restaurant, unless that supervision comes with Amex.
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| Posted 10/5/16 2:51 PM |
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