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Message edited 11/25/2007 12:21:41 AM.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch you DC?

Wow - I never heard of that - most of the time, I hear grandparents watching their grandkids for free - otherwise, whats th epoint? Why leave them home with gma all day when they can be in daycare and having activities and social experiences?

Message edited 11/21/2007 1:10:50 PM.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

you mean watching the kids on a regular basis? do they need the money? my mom watched dd every friday and wont take penny. if she was retired and watched her everyday i may pay her

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

If they need the money, then I think it's fair to pay them, but I would not pay them the same as daycare would cost. I think that's asking too much. But that's just my opinion. I'm sure some people would disagree.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

Professional daycare providers need to be licensed and trained. Tell GPs that if they want professional salaries, they need to be certified and trained as professionals.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

I'm not a parent and am intruding but we've already discussed this with my MIL. When she heard about the cost of daycare, she offered to mind a baby for the same amount ($1200 a month). I don't know if we will wind up using her or daycare, but we did think of the bonuses of having a family member watch our baby...Less exposure to other viruses, one on one attention from someone you know loves and cares for your child more than anything...I would feel more confident leaving a child with her than the 18-year olds I have seen at Tutor Time or whatever, so it is definitely something we will consider. That said, some of the money we would pay for daycare can be tax-exempt where I work, and if we paid her off the books we could not do that. That's something we'd have to figure out. MIL also works and would have to probably stop working, so the $1200 would be handy if not necessary. I wouldn't let anyone, family member or not, watch my child full-time without forcing them to take some money. When people do it for free I think they have a tendecy to treat it as a favor--nice when they can fit it into their schedule, but not a requirement. Me using them as daycare would mean them giving up every vacation, etc., that didn't work with my work schedule.

Yes, grandparents should want to spend time with the grandkids, but a full-time job is really different than visiting or babysitting when it is convenient for them. They would be giving up any other life they have during those days.

Message edited 11/21/2007 1:17:47 PM.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

I think there's a huge difference between grandparents wanting to spend time with their grandchildren and having them do it full-time.

Are they currently working? Are they trying to make up for that $$?

Or is it possible they are asking for that money so they can put it aside for a college fund or something?

Message edited 11/21/2007 1:16:58 PM.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

I agree. Unfortunately, I had to pay my own mother to watch my son while he was in bet. daycare and the Nanny.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

I think one of the reason we ask our parents or IL's to watch our DC is to save a bit of $$ daycare wise - - asking for some $$ is one thing, but it should definately be less than a daycare charges. JMO.

and to add....my mom watched DD for the first 9 mths of her life and wouldnt take a penny for it. My mom passed away in April otherwise she would have continued watching DD fre of charge.

Message edited 11/21/2007 1:24:52 PM.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

Message edited 11/25/2007 12:22:09 AM.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

I would really tell her just what Shawn said, that the caregivers at daycare are trained and certified and unless she plans on the same training, then she can't expect the same payment.
And if you do wind up paying her a decent amount of money, then you have every right to treat her as an employee. You can tell her that you do not want her running errands with your child, you expect her to take DC to library programs, gymboree, etc... and to not only watch her but interact with her the way daycare would. If she wants the freedom of being grandma and taking DC along wherever she goes, then you should not pay her the same as a "professional."

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

Posted by nferrandi

Posted by GoldenRod

Professional daycare providers need to be licensed and trained. Tell GPs that if they want professional salaries, they need to be certified and trained as professionals.

I'm loving your responses today.

Message edited 11/21/2007 1:30:29 PM.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

To me it sounds like grandparents who are trying to get out of watchign their grandchild. Rather than saying no to you they'd rather you say no to them. JMO

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

I agree with the others on a few points. My parents watch DD for me and I think if they ever asked for money that was the same as daycare, I would expect they do the same things as they do in a daycare setting.

My parents don't take any money and in addition, they buy their own supply of diapers, wipes, baby food and even Dreft (they do some of DD's laundry)

I guess every family is different.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

Message edited 11/21/2007 1:41:49 PM.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

I think its weird. IMO< I don't think they should do it for free, although its great that there are some out there that will. But asking for as much as daycare is weird. Yes, you get the peace of mind that there is a family member watching your child, but still, it'd piss me off that I'm not saving anythign at all.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

That's what I think about it!

do they deserve something. ABSOLUTLEY!!!! But not as much as daycare. If money isn't an option for the parents and $300 is chump change then I guess I can see it. But if you are middle class and trying to make it in NY then $300 a week means something to you!!!

I know someone a grandmother who watches twins and she gets $200 a week. That I can see!

yes I think it is nervy. IMO!

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

Message edited 11/25/2007 12:22:43 AM.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

Just WRONG!!

My mother is a licensed day care provider who happens to watch my child and guess what? I pay nothing!
I am so appreciative of that!

and a few times my MIL has watched her..and Free! She is more thrilled to be around her and not worried about getting one cent.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

I pay my mom $10 an hour which is more than daycare per hour but less than private in home childcare. It's a happy medium.
For me the piece of mind is worth any price I guess. My mom also needs the money so I don't mind.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

For the pre-mobile days, I actually think a dedicated Grandparent would provide greater value than a group daycare setting. Just like a private one-on-one nanny gets paid way more than daycare costs, but you have the advantage of knowing the person so well.

Once the child is mobile, then there are so many advantages to group settings, and it becomes less clear to me.

Re: what do you think about Grandparents wanting the same amount of money as daycare to watch your DC?

I offered my inlaws $$ to watch DS, but not the same amt i would of been paying for a nanny