Child Support Question??

Just a question, out of curiosity.

If you feel it's too personal of a question, feel free to just vote in the poll.

If you (or along w DH or DW) pay Child Support, at any given time, how much are you normally behind - if anything.

If you receive (or along w DH or DW) child support, at any given time, how much is your ex normally behind - if anything.

Just wondering out of curiosity.

To answer my own question, DH pays CS and we are typically behind a couple of payments...then we catch up or overpay, then we miss a couple of weeks and send it...and back and forth. It's hard bc it's not automatically deducted from his pay so it's a pain to send it every week.

I'm asking that nobody be judgmental. Just trying to see what the norm is.

Re: Child Support Question??

hi.

DH is never behind on child support. The reason being that if he is even a day late than when SHE wants it - she starts threatening us, threatening to call his job and garnish his wages, etc. She then proceeds to get her boyfriend on the phone to start yelling and and spewing all sorts of threats (court threats) So even if we are having a tough time financially, we end up having to borrow the money from family in order to not deal with BM.

DH also pays her directly and does not have the child support come out of this check.

ETA: DH pays CS monthly, maybe that will help you and DH so you only have to worry about sending one check.

Message edited 9/18/2009 8:55:48 AM.

Re: Child Support Question??

Aww HAHA DH's Ex is exactly like that. I think after all these year's she has gotten a little bit better but to this day, if we are more than a week late, she calls the CS office and they are calling us. Even the CS agent's have commented on how ridiculous she is but what can you do. It's hard to remember to send it every week.

Re: Child Support Question??

It is crazy isn't it?

Some of their threats have been ridiculous, and they usually come late at night when they know we are sleeping so they catch us off guard.

One time she called DH and told him going forward SHE wanted the check on the first of every month, by the 5th of the month we were getting threatening calls. Once she even said "can you send the check early, I have to pay my medical insurance"............I thought it was CS for SD???

Re: Child Support Question??

Exactly. That is the exact reason that we aren't rushed to send it to her. She is constantly using the money for herself and her new Husband, just wasting it and his kids end up not getting what they deserve. We would rather use the money on them when we see them. WE buy them new school clothes. WE pay for Hockey. WE buy new flutes and equipment, etc. That is what CS is for but if you try to explain that to her then it is a whole other nasty argument.

I can't believe that in this day and age, there are not stricter rules to enforce that she use the CS on the kids. How can they not monitor what she does with the money.

Another thing that just burns me up is that, when child support is set...it's set at 60/100 in our case. Therefore, out of $100...if he puts in $60, she is supposed to add $40 to that and that is what the children should be receiving every week. She uses our money to support their whole family, in her words..."How can we expect her to support a family of 5 on what we send?" Ummm I wasn't aware my Husband had 5 Kids!!!! Last time I checked, only two. She's certifiable!!!!!!

ahh i'm going off on a tangent, sorry! Just frustrating.

Re: Child Support Question??

My EX is typically a month or so behind in his CS payments. He had gone as long as 4 months at a time and then had the nerve to write a bad checks to cover it. Since he never adheres to the court mandated schedule I do find myself calling him on the 20th of the month to see when he will be sending it.

I do not take him to court because he lives in Florida and for the paltry amount he pays it isn't worth my time or aggravation.

I also don't rely on his money to take care of my son, something I have been doing since he was 15 months old

Re: Child Support Question??

WOW that is ridiculous. I'm so sorry, that must be so frustrating for you. No matter how we feel about what his ex does with the money, we always send it although it is usually a week or two late but then we send a lump payment to even it out so it works out. Four months though?? There is no excuse for that. I'm sorry to hear that.

Re: Child Support Question??

I agree it is so frustrating. SD would come to our house wearing crappy old clothes, once she came with no coat in the winter (I kid you not) and like you and your DH we would buy her clothes, jackets, etc. and it would disappear to BMs house and we would never see it again and have to do the whole thing over again in a few months. We know that the money doesn't go into a separate account for her to use for SD but unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. Another time SD told us she needed some school supplies that BM never purchased and at this point it was already October!!

Re: Child Support Question??

DH is never late with child support. He pays it directly to her every month. If the first of the month falls on a day we don't have the kids, he gives it to her the next time we have the boys. She ALWAYS asks for it if it's not given to her to the first time we have the boys after the first of the month. If she has been playing games and not allowing the boys to come over on regular days (too busy, homework, football, etc.) they always seem to have time to come to our house when she's due money.

Re: Child Support Question??

DH is never behind - he has an automatic withdrawal set up so he doesn't even have to worry about it. Sometimes he is even ahead - like this summer he paid a few months at once and just stopped the auto withdraw for those months.

If he were behind by a day, she would go on a rampage, seriously. She is very money-driven, and it is sometimes very obvious.

Re: Child Support Question??

Re: Child Support Question??

Posted by EsquireFish

Posted by Lucky2008

I agree it is so frustrating. SD would come to our house wearing crappy old clothes, once she came with no coat in the winter (I kid you not) and like you and your DH we would buy her clothes, jackets, etc. and it would disappear to BMs house and we would never see it again and have to do the whole thing over again in a few months. We know that the money doesn't go into a separate account for her to use for SD but unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. Another time SD told us she needed some school supplies that BM never purchased and at this point it was already October!!

I see things that frustrate me too. Like he often wears hand-me-down clothes from older kids in his family, they cut his hair at home and do a pretty bad job, they make him wear his sneakers until his feet are literally blistered up, etc. And I cannot tell you how much she gets a month and I wonder where it goes... well, I sort of have an idea -- she renovated a room in her house this past year and took some nice vacations, and apparently she gets more manicures now I find her a little ridiculous and transparent.

Re: Child Support Question??

The only time SS has gotten a "real" haircut is right before my wedding with DH, he took SS to a hair salon the day before for a professional cut. BM's mom usually cuts his hair at home, I assume with her eyes closed because I feel so sorry for that kid (at least he is 5 so he can get away with it, but what happens when he gets older?)

And she often sends him in shoes that are obviously too small, so his feet hurt and he gets blisters, and he tells us that he has new shoes at home but he isn't allowed to wear them yet (I guess she is waiting for the old shoes to literally disintegrate?) or because she doesn't want us to get his new shoes "dirty."

Re: Child Support Question??

When BM had custody she wouldnt let him see SS until he paid his child support. So, he was on time. If he was a day late and call she's say "got my support??" Total white trash! I want to puke when I think of it!

Now that we have full custody, the court ordered her to pay $25.00 a month (b/c she didn't have a job at the time) and it's been 10 years and she hasn't paid us a dime.

She hasn't contributed to his education, medical and every day expenses. And rarely bought him a Christmas or birthday gift unless it was from the dollar store. One year she went to the fire dept and got toys for needy kids and put them under the tree for SS!!!

She never worked. She keeps having kids with different fathers so she can keep living off of the state. So, DH could never go after her.

Now that she's reached the age of not having kids - her last one was at 38, she got a PT job. I told DH to go after her for the $3,000.00 she owes us but, he won't he can't be bothered.

I think that could be spent on a nice vacation. Don't you? I'd send the b*&ch a postcard too!!

Re: Child Support Question??

Re: Child Support Question??

DH has never been behind....We are very on top of it - one less headache..

Back when we used to mail BM the checks, she would often play games and say she didn't get them etc...(even though my DH had the post office receipt etc..) and he would spend oodles of $ cancelling checks and re-writing etc...So at their last stint in court, his attorney recommended that he pay the Child Support Bureau so that she couldn't play games anymore ...That was the best decison he ever made...So nice writing out 1 check per month for it ( although he still sends the BM the extras for activities, doctors, childcare,camp , school etc..)

Re: Child Support Question??

my dh has his income deducted automatically....it is better not seeing the money leave...doesn't make me quite as bitter...lol...seriously, if she used the money for SS then it would be great - but she's used in on things for herself and he's always left needing things that we ultimately provide...not to mention, since we were granted temp custody, she's continued to recieve support and hasn't sent a penny back to us for his care....

Re: Child Support Question??

DH is never late on CS payments. The divorce decree outlines that DH is to pay a certain amount twice monthly. DH gives the ex her check(s) (sometimes he needs to pay extra for doc copays/child care and chooses to do it in separate checks) when he is either picking up the kids or dropping them off, every other weekend.

Re: Child Support Question??

Crashing here....


Your husband can still have a direct payment sent to her even though it is not automatically deducted from his pay. Instead of the money comming from his paycheck it can come from his bank. This way he will not be behind.

By the way, your statement, "It's hard bc it's not automatically deducted from his pay so it's a pain to send it every week." makes me sad. Its not too hard to write a check....it takes 3 minutes.

Good luck

Re: Child Support Question??

DH is never really *late* because we pay monthly. We have (due to recent circumstances) been 1-2 weeks late though

Maybe ask BM if she wouldn't mind getting 1 lump sum check on the 1st of every month?

Re: Child Support Question??

Re: Child Support Question??

We are never late. We see SD pretty frequently so if it's not on the first, it's definitely on the 2nd or 3rd.

Re: Child Support Question??

When the kids were living with their disgusting mother, DH would pay bi-weekly. He would send her the check Thurs and she would get it by Friday, but a few times he got caught up with time as we both work and go to school fulltime, and did not send it out on the exact date. well the welfare BM would come to his job make a scene and requested her "child support" money and DH had to leave work walk over to the bank and give it to her. So I guess I can now say that I am glad he does not have to deal with that bc the kids now live with us. However, I can't wait till DH takes her to court although she is the kind to pop kids just to live off welfare so that he can collect from her, even if it's $25 like someone else mentioned. Sadly I would wish that the courts would monitor what they do with the money bc like other ppl here, BM would not use the money on them, and DH had to buy them clothes, winter jackets, shoes, etc. and even when he had them she would send them to him with ripped up clothing...really sad and disgusting. I don't know who there can be women like this! Can't DH look into getting custody of his kids? of course if that would be something that you would also want?

Message edited 9/22/2009 2:51:42 PM.

Re: Child Support Question??

Re: Child Support Question??

We're never late or behind. We also pay CS weekly and as far as finances are concerned I consider it another one of our bills. It's the most important bill we pay!! We hand BM a check when we get DD for the weekend. If we don't see her for a particular weekend then we either mail it out or we'll give her a check the week before and post-date it.