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Re: Those that are done having kids...
Before I met DH, I wanted FOUR kids...I was an only child. My Dad was one of three, my mom one of four...and I envied their sibling relationship.
I met DH, who is one of four, and he only wanted one. I compromised on two, thinking I could get him to "come around."
Then I had DD and while I love her with all my heart and soul, she was a difficult baby. And it took me 3 years to decide I even wanted a SECOND!!!
I am pg now with #2 and I know we are DONE. I am DONE...emotionally, physically, financially....I want my two children...they will have us, they will have each other and life will be complete.
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Posted 4/6/11 6:56 PM |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
KennysMommy
Never knew LOVE like it before
Member since 3/10 2640 total posts
Name: Danielle
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
If I was 28, I'd say that I would definitely have another, maybe 2 more. But.... I'm 38, can't afford the cost of daycare for more than one, and don't have the luxury of time to wait 5 years to have another. I just don't think at my age pregnancy and a newborn is what I should put myself through. So, based on those factors - I'm a mother of one and DONE!
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Posted 4/6/11 7:13 PM |
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kmac
Two under two!
Member since 5/07 3703 total posts
Name: Kris
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
Posted by Kissy331
when did you know you were done? How many kids do you have?
I ask this because I always said I wanted 2-3 kids & when my youngest was born 8.5 months ago, I said I was not sure if I was done & I would make my decision by the time I was 35. Well lately, I feel like I am complete even though there is a part of me that still would like to try for another. For me, it has nothing to do with trying for a "girl" more that I just feel my two pregnancies were combined into 1 & I honestly LOVE being pregnant. DH says he is done & that we can comfortably handle 2 kids. In a way, I see it in his eyes bc now that I am pretty much the caretaker 24/7 to my boys, I am not sure I could handle a third.
Ok, enough rambling, just wondering how everyone else made their decision & if somewhere down the line, your decison changed?
I am in the SAME boat as you. We were pregnant right around the same time w/ both I think. I feel like I "missed out" on my 2nd pregnancy b/c Matthew was only 9 months old when I found out I was pregnant. I'm on the fence. I have my boy and girl and should probably be done. I'm just not ready to commit to that though.
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Posted 4/6/11 7:35 PM |
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Kathy042806
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 1416 total posts
Name: Kathy
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
Posted by Xelindrya
One and Done I'm 35
I do remember my stats on Down coming back elevated with AJ but she was fine. I can not imagine having that fear again. Nope, no thanks. Call me selfish
I just don't want anymore. I don't want the newborn stage, I don't want the toddler stage. I don't want the vacc debate, I don't want a year of spending in and out of the pediatrics office. I don't want the daycare drama, I don't want the return to work part. I don't want the financial FEAR.
I want nothing of it
I love my daughter and every moment before and now is precious. I appreciated her newborn stage and just absorbed her. I love her toddler stage filled with smiles and new experiences. I loved watching her smile, stand, walk, talk for the first time. I love the sound of her voice singing twinkle twinkle and that she says "love you mom".
The whole only child thing is a crock in my mind. I'm very happy with just one. I can't imagine dealing with more than one and for the people who keep telling me "Youre not a parent until you have two" can just bite me!
IUD is in place.
OMG I love you! I could have written this word for word. I'm sick of dealing with people telling me I'm selfish for only having/wanting 1. I don't want to go through all that again, as much as I love my ds with all my heart, I'm done.
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Posted 4/6/11 8:07 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name: Kristen
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
Posted by kmac
Posted by Kissy331
when did you know you were done? How many kids do you have?
I ask this because I always said I wanted 2-3 kids & when my youngest was born 8.5 months ago, I said I was not sure if I was done & I would make my decision by the time I was 35. Well lately, I feel like I am complete even though there is a part of me that still would like to try for another. For me, it has nothing to do with trying for a "girl" more that I just feel my two pregnancies were combined into 1 & I honestly LOVE being pregnant. DH says he is done & that we can comfortably handle 2 kids. In a way, I see it in his eyes bc now that I am pretty much the caretaker 24/7 to my boys, I am not sure I could handle a third.
Ok, enough rambling, just wondering how everyone else made their decision & if somewhere down the line, your decison changed?
I am in the SAME boat as you. We were pregnant right around the same time w/ both I think. I feel like I "missed out" on my 2nd pregnancy b/c Matthew was only 9 months old when I found out I was pregnant. I'm on the fence. I have my boy and girl and should probably be done. I'm just not ready to commit to that though.
We were pregnant right around the same time. Since I found out I was pregnant with #2 when JJ was only 4 months old, I feel like I didn't get to truly enjoy my second pregnancy. But then with all we went through with getting pregnant with JJ & then everything towards the end, to get pregnant on my own was such a blessing in disguise. There is a part of me that thinks that God gave me my Nicholas bc I lost JJ's twin at around 8 weeks but I will truly never know.
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Posted 4/6/11 8:09 PM |
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
I am 37 - never was able to get pregnant again - Cailen was a surprise - so he may have been a miracle baby without me even knowing it.
DH still is not really steadily employed.
I'm getting older. Cailen is getting older. I didn't really make this decision, life did. I mourn it from time to time, however - whenever I think of future plans, even when I am mourning, I never ever consider a baby in it. So I guess, mentally, I am done as well.
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Posted 4/6/11 8:20 PM |
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SweetCin
My green-eyed boy
Member since 5/05 13499 total posts
Name: Cin
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
Kristen, thank you for this post....I've been wrestling w/ this very question almost daily for the last year. We have our DS & DD (almost 2 & 4) & I always said maybe we'd go for a 3rd. I'm constantly weighing the pros/cons, been talking it over endlessly w/ DH (& my friends) & can't bring myself to say, "we're done." Yet lately I'm leaning more & more to we're done w/ 2. I'm 40 already; we have a tiny ranch; my mom & MIL watch my kiddos while I work (& DS especially has been keeping them on their toes & they are getting older & outright told us they couldn't handle a third). DH works nights most of the time & I'm working days & I just don't see myself being able to handle a 3rd (mostly) on my own & our house is tiny & finances are extremely tight & although I loved being pregnant; not sure I could handle it at 41 & work FT & care for 2. Also we have 2 healthy children; I feel like we'd be pressing our luck.
It's so tough though & I just can't seem to say, "we're done" yet though.
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Posted 4/6/11 11:42 PM |
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Mrs-D-Girl
Love my fur baby
Member since 8/07 5183 total posts
Name:
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
Posted by Xelindrya
One and Done I'm 35
I do remember my stats on Down coming back elevated with AJ but she was fine. I can not imagine having that fear again. Nope, no thanks. Call me selfish
I just don't want anymore. I don't want the newborn stage, I don't want the toddler stage. I don't want the vacc debate, I don't want a year of spending in and out of the pediatrics office. I don't want the daycare drama, I don't want the return to work part. I don't want the financial FEAR.
I want nothing of it
I love my daughter and every moment before and now is precious. I appreciated her newborn stage and just absorbed her. I love her toddler stage filled with smiles and new experiences. I loved watching her smile, stand, walk, talk for the first time. I love the sound of her voice singing twinkle twinkle and that she says "love you mom".
The whole only child thing is a crock in my mind. I'm very happy with just one. I can't imagine dealing with more than one and for the people who keep telling me "Youre not a parent until you have two" can just bite me!
IUD is in place.
DS is only 6 1/2 months, but this is my take on things as well.
I think I am happy with one and I want to give him everything we can and also still live the lifestlye we want
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Posted 4/7/11 8:44 AM |
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orchid24
PARTY OF FIVE PLEASE!
Member since 3/06 2018 total posts
Name: D
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
i was on the fence after DD was born- i had a DS and a DD. well, got PG with #3 and knew that was it the minute i got a positive on my PG test. i guess you just know when your family is complete.
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Posted 4/7/11 11:03 AM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name: Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
Posted by CrankyPants
I'm due with number 3 in October and I know I am done after this!
It's funny, when we had 2 we kept going back and forth on whether we wanted to go for a 3rd.
Now? No question, we know we are done with this one. I guess that's how you know-when there is just no more doubt or thinking, you just KNOW.
Same exact thing here- pregnant with #3 and we just KNOW we are done. We would just be too tired, too financially drained with more. But we knew we wanted a third - we felt like there was one more soul waiting to join our family.
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Posted 4/7/11 11:28 AM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name: sara
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
We have two - one of each and I still want another - everyone said it would wear off but DS is 20mths and its still very strong so hopefully it will happen soon for us. I had always thought I would have 2 kids but now I feel 3 is the right number for us- to be honest I dont know what I will do if I still want a baby after we have 3 - DH will most likely commit to a life of celibacy then just in case as he will NOT want a fourth.
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Posted 4/7/11 11:52 AM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name: Theresa
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
We have two boys. My oldest will be 4 in June and my youngest will be 2 later this month. I'm 36 and for me, I waver back and forth between "Are we done?" and "We're DONE!". I had relatively easy pregnancies with both boys and loved being pregnant. I could even see myself doing the diapers and late night feedings again. My DH on the other hand, not so much. He's happy with two. Our house is not equipped to deal with more than the four of us comfortably. I love the ages the boys are at now. While I have room in my heart for one more, I just don't know if the rest of the family does. We'll see.
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Posted 4/7/11 12:05 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name: Catherine
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
I have 2 girls. I really wanted #2 because I did not want DD#1 to be alone once DH and I are gone. Also, I really always wanted 3-4 children. But DD#2 is disabled, and currently gets therapy 13 times a week. There is no way I could handle having another baby and taking care of Erin. Every once in a while, I still feel like I truly want another. But realistically, I just don't see it happening.
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Posted 4/7/11 1:11 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name: Baby Momma
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Re: Those that are done having kids...
I knew when we were pregnant with DD. The misery that is me being pregnant, combined with the horrible c section recovery, solidified that for me. we gave my son a sibling, we are content with our family of four...now I just want me teeney tiny arse back and life would be perfect!!!!
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Posted 4/7/11 1:54 PM |
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