Updated: We're done! - Is it possible for CIO not to work?

DS just turned 2 and has been having a hard time with bedtime since 22 months. Prior to that he fell asleep easily and on his own.

2 months of holding him until he was asleep (sometimes an hour+) got to be too much so we decided to CIO. CIO as in put him down and don't go back in AT ALL. I don't think it's working.

Night 1: 39 minutes
Night 2: 32 minutes
Night 3: 33 minutes
Night 4: 10 minutes
Night 5: 24 minutes


It is a horrible cry and lots of "Mama". Since I feel like it's not working, I'm having a hard time accepting that I'll have to do this again tonight. I'm not giving up yet but my resolve is weakening.

I feel so sad that bedtime has become about tears. It was NEVER like this before. I cannot accept that he will cry himself to sleep every day.

But, I don't know what my alternatives are DS has delayed speech so it's not like he can tell me what is bothering him. I just don't know what to do anymore.

ETA: We have had a consistent bedtime routine since he was 6 weeks old. Bath time, change into PJ"s and diaper with daddy, mommy gives him milk in his room, Daddy reads him a book in his room, and either daddy or mommy sings to him and says prayers. Worked like a charm until 22 months.

ETA: Night 6: 19 minutes, quiet for 5 minutes, cried 4 more minutes. Fell asleep and woke up crying. We're done, I can't do this anymore. Problem is, I had to hold him for 45 minutes before he fell asleep again. Back to square 1.

Message edited 10/19/2011 10:29:41 PM.

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

i think the times you listed are not bad at all. it can easily take a week. dont give up!

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

Do you have a set nighttime routine? It might help if he knows exactly what to expect and to have a comforting/relaxing bed time routine.

Do you explain to him that's it's time to go to bed and Mommy/Daddy will be back in the morning?

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

Posted by IansMommy23



i think the times you listed are not bad at all. it can easily take a week. dont give up!

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers?

I am not a CIO person. it's just not for me. but it really depends on what your objectives are.

every night I bring luce in his room and hang with him until he goes to sleep.

for ME, as a working mom, I dont' mind that time. half the time I fall asleep too but my main objective was to get him to sleep through the night. and he does that now.

I know it's the popular way on this board and it does work for people, but for me, I could not bear the means to that end.

try the book. it gives great tips. it is much slower, but it may be a better route for both of you.

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

Posted by Ophelia

have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers?

I am not a CIO person. it's just not for me. but it really depends on what your objectives are.

every night I bring luce in his room and hang with him until he goes to sleep.

for ME, as a working mom, I dont' mind that time. half the time I fall asleep too but my main objective was to get him to sleep through the night. and he does that now.

I know it's the popular way on this board and it does work for people, but for me, I could not bear the means to that end.

try the book. it gives great tips. it is much slower, but it may be a better route for both of you.

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

Posted by Ophelia

have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers?

I am not a CIO person. it's just not for me. but it really depends on what your objectives are.

every night I bring luce in his room and hang with him until he goes to sleep.

for ME, as a working mom, I dont' mind that time. half the time I fall asleep too


try the book. it gives great tips. it is much slower, but it may be a better route for both of you.

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

Do you have a bedtime routine?

For us, we have a bath,ccc b gsh and then she has some warm milk. Then we get into my bed and read a few books, and then I put her down in her bed and get her snuggled. I have a fan on just for a noise plus a lullaby CD that I put on low, and then I leave her there to fall asleep.

I know every child is different, but since I implemented this routine, bedtime has been so much nicer. It's very rare that she cries while going to sleep, but a lot of times she chatters or sings and I just let her. I do check on her if she starts crying though.. I am not a CIO person myself. I pretty much just check on her, give her a hug and kiss, and say goodnight, and she's good.

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

haave you tried changing his routine at all, or his bed time? I can definitely see how having to be in there with him for a long period of time would be draining when you are with him all day!

lately luce has been getting tired earlier and if I miss that golden moment to put him down, he gets overtired and then the shizit hits the fan.

maybe try the putting down routine a little earlier and see if that helps too.

and also, make sure he's tired!!! he may also be going down too early, and once he starts fighting it's hard to stop, even when he's tired.

try tweaking your times a little.

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

Is it possible that he is just not tired? Have you tried moving his bedtime back 1/2 hour? DS' bedtime used to be 7pm but because he started napping a little later and were having problems putting him down, we moved it to 7:30. He cries a little here and there but never more than a minute or two.

P.S. I do not think that those CIO times are that bad. I would try giving it a little more time. Hang in there...dont mess up the works now!

Re: Is it possible for CIO not to work?

Yes, CIO does not work for everyone or it may not work at particular times like when your child is sick or has serious separation anxiety or is just not sleepy.

I would stop for now. It should get better within 3 days, not get worse.

First day should be worse, then by day 3, he should either not be crying at all or just cry a few minutes before going to sleep.

Definitely read the no cry sleep solution or even the Super Nanny solution which means you don't leave him alone completely but stay in the same room and physically move away gradually. This helps if he has separation anxiety.

If you have a routine going, make sure he doesn't have separation anxiety or is sick right now before continuing again.

Re: Updated: We're done! - Is it possible for CIO not to work?

bumping with my tiny update

Night 6: 19 minutes, quiet for 5 minutes, cried 4 more minutes. Fell asleep and woke up 5 minutes later crying.

We're done, I can't do this anymore. Problem is, I had to hold him for 45 minutes before he fell asleep again. Back to square 1.

But, in my heart, I just couldn't do it anymore. Something didn't seem right.
I'll be reading the No Cry Sleep Solution tomorrow.

Re: Updated: We're done! - Is it possible for CIO not to work?

Posted by Ophelia

have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers?

I am not a CIO person. it's just not for me. but it really depends on what your objectives are.

every night I bring luce in his room and hang with him until he goes to sleep.

for ME, as a working mom, I dont' mind that time. half the time I fall asleep too but my main objective was to get him to sleep through the night. and he does that now.

I know it's the popular way on this board and it does work for people, but for me, I could not bear the means to that end.

try the book. it gives great tips. it is much slower, but it may be a better route for both of you.