Disciplining other children?

Just looking for some opinions here. A friend of mine has a 2.5 year old son who hits & pushes when he doesn't get his way, or if he wants a toy from another child. Both of my children have been hit & pushed by him. Whenever this has happened, I have always been the one to run over & tell the little boy that we do not hit & he just walks away & alittle while later just does something similar again! His mom witnesses his actions most of the time but chooses to ignore it......Well today we were over at their house & there was another girl there with her daughter. When the little boy started hitting her daughter for no reason, the other mom firmly grabbed hold of his hand and said "stop that, don't hit". You could tell that the little boy was shocked that someone was actually grabbing onto him.This has been something that I've wanted to do to this child for over 6 months now, but never would because I feel like you do not place your hands on others children to discipline them. What are your opinions on this? And how do you handle situations in which your child is being roughed up by another child & that mom does nothing about it & has actually admitted that she ignores it in hopes that by not saying anything the child will stop that behavior?

Re: Disciplining other children?

I normally don't get involved or make any judgement about the way other parents handle their kids BUT, once my child b/c the victim - especially at an age where they can't handle it themselves - you bet i am getting involved. I will say though I probably would never put my hands on another person's child. But, I would and have sternly told another child - don't do that, or knock it off and then removed my DC from the situation and that is the end of playing with that child if it is a situation like you described.

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maybe it was just a quick reaction to seeing her child get hit.... I'm not sure if I would grab him but I would never stand by and watch my child get hurt, physically or emotionally.

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it depends on your relationship with the other mom... or moms... me personally... if i know you well and you are my friend, be my guest... if you are a stranger or i barely know you... hands off otherwise my hand will be across your face.

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Since the child has a history of this behavior AND his mom has a history of not dealing with it - I don't blame the other woman one bit! Enough is enough!

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If a kid was hitting my DC, consistently, not stopping. I would absolutely grab that kids' hand and stop it.

If it was one hit, and it wasn't bad, I would look to the mom to intervene. If she didn't, I would tell the kid that we don't hit.

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When I visit with my sister, she jumps in and attacks my DS when there is a little tif - DS cries over a toy or grabs it from her son.
I get really annoyed b/c I am also talking to my DS about it. AND my DS isn't hurting her DS.

If one child was hurting the other child and the other mom wasn't doing anything, I'd step in. After, I'd explain to the other mom that their DS hurt my DS. If she refused to do anything about it, I'd continue to adress it with the other DS or just stop going.

I yelled at my sis last time that I was handling it and DS didn't need 4 adults yelling at him about it. It was a sore spot for me.

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Re: Disciplining other children?

If you saw a child hitting, not just hit once, hitting, you wouldn't grab the kid's hand as an initial reaction?


I sure would. I would never harm a child but I would certainly block another kid from harming my DD. And if my DD ever attempted to hit another child I would hope that any adult nearest to her would block her from harming another kid. If that meant grabing her hand, so be it. It wouldn't harm her, just startle her.

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never ever touch another child - if someone touched dc i would be P!SSED off.
you can tell the child you don't hit that is not nice - thats ok.. but to physically touch a child is way out of line..

ds was pushed by a older child the other day and i told the little girl - that is not nice - you don't hit him. - she was more shocked than anything and mumbled sorry. if it continued i would talk to the parents and tell them its an ongoing issue.

i would be ok if friends tell ds not to hit or push - would not be ok by any means if they grabbed my son

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Posted by Goobster

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

but i would definitely be yelling at the child to keep their hands off my kid or i will make sure they get taken away from their parent for ever.

What does that mean? How would you make sure a child gets taken away from their parent forever, for hitting another child?

Re: Disciplining other children?

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

Posted by Goobster

Posted by AJandCJsMommy

but i would definitely be yelling at the child to keep their hands off my kid or i will make sure they get taken away from their parent for ever.

What does that mean? How would you make sure a child gets taken away from their parent forever, for hitting another child?

i tell them i am calling the police to have them taken away for beating up another child. it works.. they stop hitting

Message edited 11/6/2011 12:27:38 AM.

Re: Disciplining other children?

DS had one friend (before we moved) who was very aggressive. The boys were young back then (just turning 2). This kid hit my son's head with a metal train and made him bleed AND once gave my son a bloody nose! The parents definitely told their son to stop and disciplined. I was always cautious when playing with their child.

I would never put my hands on another child. I would definitely say to the child, "no hitting please." If it consistently happened, I would probably talk to the mom. If I didn't know them well, I would avoid them.

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I would limit playdates personally.

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I had this issue with the son of one of DH's friends. Luckily, they moved OOS so we don't see them anymore.

This boy was two years older and much bigger than DS. He would push him into things, bash heavy toys on his head, etc. Once, I caught him trying to push DS into a closet and hold the door shut on him.

His Mom ignored him, which is a big reason why he acted this way IMO. She just sat there and did nothing.

I never touched the other boy, but I did intervene by physically removing my son. I moved him out of the way, put him in another room, redirected him. I did tell the other kid to back off a few times.

I agree with limiting the time they spend together as a solution. If this is unavoidable, I would keep my kid out of harm's way. I would hesitate to touch the other kid unless it was the only way to prevent physical harm to one of my kids!