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violet5
LIF Infant
Member since 7/11 54 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by Otherme
I sat down on the 7:08 train home from work, already feeling sad that i was going to miss seeing my cutie DS tonight before he went to bed.
Then i read this thread..
Wow
Thanks HazelEyes for making me feel even worse than i already do for being away from him for ELEVEN HOURS every friggin day.
Thank you for opening my eyes to the truly close minded thoughts that some people have about what it's like to be a FTWM for some of us. What a sheltered existence you must lead.
I don't even have the energy right now to respond to this thread and some of the truly insulting things i've read in here, and frankly i doubt it would even be worth it as some people already have their minds made up about the horrible job we must be doing 'raising' our kids (wait, can i even call it that?)
Shame on you
god, where's the "flip you the bird" emoticon when you need it!!
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Posted 4/25/12 8:26 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by Otherme
I sat down on the 7:08 train home from work, already feeling sad that i was going to miss seeing my cutie DS tonight before he went to bed.
Then i read this thread..
Wow
Thanks HazelEyes for making me feel even worse than i already do for being away from him for ELEVEN HOURS every friggin day.
Thank you for opening my eyes to the truly close minded thoughts that some people have about what it's like to be a FTWM for some of us. What a sheltered existence you must lead.
I don't even have the energy right now to respond to this thread and some of the truly insulting things i've read in here, and frankly i doubt it would even be worth it as some people already have their minds made up about the horrible job we must be doing 'raising' our kids (wait, can i even call it that?)
Shame on you
god, where's the "flip you the bird" emoticon when you need it!!
. Hazel is close-minded and a generally mean person from what I have gathered from her posts. I think we should all just ignore her posts
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| Posted 4/25/12 8:36 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Not worth it to work?
She has most certainly showed that, time and time again. She is one of the most short-sighted, judgmental and rude posters I've ever encountered on here. Nevermind the fact that her DH has been unemployed for a significant part of the past several years due to layoffs and being fired - of COURSE he has the time to spend with his kids.
Most parents would be grateful for the opportunity at any chance to provide for their family, even if it means commuting for two hours. Most parents make the MOST of the time they have with their children, whether it be one hour or twelve. And most parents are just doing the best they can, the best way they know how. The difference is that the majority of us understand and respect that our "best" is not the same - nor does it have to be - as everyone else's. If you listen to hazeleyes, everyone should do everything her way because that's the best and only way.
Hazeleyes, you've sunk to a new low in my eyes. Not that you care. But I think you should be ashamed of the comments you've made and the hurtful things you've said to the parents on her who love their children dearly and would lay down their lives to make those children happy.
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| Posted 4/25/12 8:53 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by Otherme
I sat down on the 7:08 train home from work, already feeling sad that i was going to miss seeing my cutie DS tonight before he went to bed.
Then i read this thread..
Wow
Thanks HazelEyes for making me feel even worse than i already do for being away from him for ELEVEN HOURS every friggin day.
Thank you for opening my eyes to the truly close minded thoughts that some people have about what it's like to be a FTWM for some of us. What a sheltered existence you must lead.
I don't even have the energy right now to respond to this thread and some of the truly insulting things i've read in here, and frankly i doubt it would even be worth it as some people already have their minds made up about the horrible job we must be doing 'raising' our kids (wait, can i even call it that?)
Shame on you
god, where's the "flip you the bird" emoticon when you need it!!
I was thinking of you and your DH while reading this thread. I know how much you guys cherish every minute that you get to spend your adorable DS, and I can say firsthand that he is just as in love with the both of you. There is no doubt that the two of you are the ones raising him.
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| Posted 4/25/12 9:01 PM |
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Blazesyth
*yawn*
Member since 5/05 8129 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by headoverheels
Hazeleyes, you've sunk to a new low in my eyes. Not that you care. But I think you should be ashamed of the comments you've made and the hurtful things you've said to the parents on her who love their children dearly and would lay down their lives to make those children happy.
BUT WHY? It's my opinion and I can have it. 
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| Posted 4/25/12 9:03 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by headoverheels
She has most certainly showed that, time and time again. She is one of the most short-sighted, judgmental and rude posters I've ever encountered on here. Nevermind the fact that her DH has been unemployed for a significant part of the past several years due to layoffs and being fired - of COURSE he has the time to spend with his kids.
Most parents would be grateful for the opportunity at any chance to provide for their family, even if it means commuting for two hours. Most parents make the MOST of the time they have with their children, whether it be one hour or twelve. And most parents are just doing the best they can, the best way they know how. The difference is that the majority of us understand and respect that our "best" is not the same - nor does it have to be - as everyone else's. If you listen to hazeleyes, everyone should do everything her way because that's the best and only way.
Hazeleyes, you've sunk to a new low in my eyes. Not that you care. But I think you should be ashamed of the comments you've made and the hurtful things you've said to the parents on her who love their children dearly and would lay down their lives to make those children happy.
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| Posted 4/25/12 9:03 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by headoverheels
She has most certainly showed that, time and time again. She is one of the most short-sighted, judgmental and rude posters I've ever encountered on here. Nevermind the fact that her DH has been unemployed for a significant part of the past several years due to layoffs and being fired - of COURSE he has the time to spend with his kids.
Most parents would be grateful for the opportunity at any chance to provide for their family, even if it means commuting for two hours. Most parents make the MOST of the time they have with their children, whether it be one hour or twelve. And most parents are just doing the best they can, the best way they know how. The difference is that the majority of us understand and respect that our "best" is not the same - nor does it have to be - as everyone else's. If you listen to hazeleyes, everyone should do everything her way because that's the best and only way.
Hazeleyes, you've sunk to a new low in my eyes. Not that you care. But I think you should be ashamed of the comments you've made and the hurtful things you've said to the parents on her who love their children dearly and would lay down their lives to make those children happy.
Thank you ladies for this (and especially to you Jax430)
I know that some people are ignorant jack azzes, and usually I ignore them, but this one got to me.
Thankfully when I got home, I got to feed ds his last bottle before he went to sleep, and all the nonsense I read here went completely out of my head as soon as I felt his little head resting on my shoulder 
moments like that make it all worth it..
Message edited 4/25/2012 9:53:42 PM.
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| Posted 4/25/12 9:43 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by Otherme
Thank you ladies for this (and especially to you Jax430)
I know that some people are ignorant jack azzes, and usually I ignore them, but this one got to me.
Thankfully when I got home, I got to feed ds his last bottle before he went to sleep, and all the nonsense I read here went completely out of my head as soon as I felt his little head resting on my shoulder
moments like that make it all worth it..
This one got to me too, and I was secretly hoping you didn't read it bc I didn't want you to feel the way I did. You responded more eloquently than I ever could have - good job! My only response was "go .... yourself" - so I withheld commenting about how I felt.
Oh, oops. 
I'm glad your night ended on a positive note with that cute little guy
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:05 PM |
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Re: Not worth it to work?
I just wonder why Hazeleyes isn't a SAHM for someone so judgey-wudgey.
She's choosing not to sacrifice THAT much of her lifestyle, I guess.
Isn't the mantra "you can always cut back SOMEWHERE in order to be a SAHM" ?
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:10 PM |
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by Bearcat
Posted by Otherme
Thank you ladies for this (and especially to you Jax430)
I know that some people are ignorant jack azzes, and usually I ignore them, but this one got to me.
Thankfully when I got home, I got to feed ds his last bottle before he went to sleep, and all the nonsense I read here went completely out of my head as soon as I felt his little head resting on my shoulder
moments like that make it all worth it..
This one got to me too, and I was secretly hoping you didn't read it bc I didn't want you to feel the way I did. You responded more eloquently than I ever could have - good job! My only response was "go .... yourself" - so I withheld commenting about how I felt.
Oh, oops.
I'm glad your night ended on a positive note with that cute little guy
Don't worry. Hazel is in the minority. Most others can relate or at least not be as small-minded on this matter.
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:11 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by seaside
Here's what I'm wondering.
If you're lucky enough to be able to have arranged things so that you feel happy with what you're doing and the time you're putting in, why on earth would you even bother to say how unfortunate others are or how far short they fall against your standards?
If you recognize that not everyone has the same views, resources, or options, what do you get out of saying things like people are "raising" the kids of these unwiseunfortunate people? Or that you're lucky? Does that really need to be said?
It's like reading a post by a sick poster and taking the time to comment on how lucky you feel to have your health. Or like reading the post of someone in debt and taking the time to comment about how smart, lucky, and solvent you are.
Really?
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:12 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by cncforever
I just wonder why Hazeleyes isn't a SAHM for someone so judgey-wudgey.
She's choosing not to sacrifice THAT much of her lifestyle, I guess.
Isn't the mantra "you can always cut back SOMEWHERE in order to be a SAHM" ?
SMALL HOUSE! SMALL NEST EGG!
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:13 PM |
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by Bearcat
Posted by cncforever
I just wonder why Hazeleyes isn't a SAHM for someone so judgey-wudgey.
She's choosing not to sacrifice THAT much of her lifestyle, I guess.
Isn't the mantra "you can always cut back SOMEWHERE in order to be a SAHM" ?
SMALL HOUSE! SMALL NEST EGG!
BUT....there could even be a SMALLER HOUSE and SMALLER NEST EGG if one TRULY is a good parent and wants to spend every single waking moment in order to raise her child!
Vacations could be in the backyard, which could be the back of the local Walgreens in the woods, in a tent! I mean, if you REALLY want to raise your kid, you'd do anything, right?
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:16 PM |
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MrsBurtch525
Year for change!
Member since 1/09 6017 total posts
Name:
Taryn
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by ShaunsMommy
exactly 
I seriously cant with these types of statements. Unreal Nothing like a good ol' slap in the face when you're trying to do what's best for YOUR family.
Ok seriously? I didn't read every comment on here because the thread is too long i just answered the question, i didn't mean it like that. DH and i just decided that it wasn't worth sending our child to daycare when i could stay home and take care of her myself and have the one on one with me and at out home. That is just what WE felt was best for our family. That's it, that was all i meant. Didn't realize i had to watch every word i said. The hours i would work, i would never get to see my child if we did daycare. I didn't mean it like that. Now i remember why i rarely post on LIF anymore. Made my night a little crappier.
Message edited 4/25/2012 10:26:50 PM.
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:25 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by MrsBurtch525
Posted by ShaunsMommy
exactly
I seriously cant with these types of statements. Unreal Nothing like a good ol' slap in the face when you're trying to do what's best for YOUR family.
Ok seriously? I didn't read every comment on here because the thread is too long i just answered the question, i didn't mean it like that. DH and i just decided that it wasn't worth sending our child to daycare when i could stay home and raise her myself and have the one on one with me. Didn't realize i had to watch every word i said. The hours i would work, i would never get to see my child if we did daycare. I didn't mean it like that. Now i remember why i rarely post on LIF anymore. Made my night a little crappier.
Taryn, I personally didn't think you meant it like that. I believe this thread got a bit crazy before you commented with some posters being a bit judgemental and everyone was a little hypersensitive to the phrase "raise my child". It was word choice. I think you could have said the same thing and replaced the word "raise" with "watch" and noone would have looked at it twice. If nothing else, I understood what you were saying and you didn't mean that someone else would be raising your child if you sent them to daycare. It just didn't make financial sense for you to work if all your money was going to child care.
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:30 PM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
We take the same train home. Except tonight, as I'm still at work and have been since 9:00 this morning. 
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:36 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by MrsBurtch525
Posted by ShaunsMommy
exactly
I seriously cant with these types of statements. Unreal Nothing like a good ol' slap in the face when you're trying to do what's best for YOUR family.
Ok seriously? I didn't read every comment on here because the thread is too long i just answered the question, i didn't mean it like that. DH and i just decided that it wasn't worth sending our child to daycare when i could stay home and raise her myself and have the one on one with me. Didn't realize i had to watch every word i said. The hours i would work, i would never get to see my child if we did daycare. I didn't mean it like that. Now i remember why i rarely post on LIF anymore. Made my night a little crappier.
Taryn, I personally didn't think you meant it like that. I believe this thread got a bit crazy before you commented with some posters being a bit judgemental and everyone was a little hypersensitive to the phrase "raise my child". It was word choice. I think you could have said the same thing and replaced the word "raise" with "watch" and noone would have looked at it twice. If nothing else, I understood what you were saying and you didn't mean that someone else would be raising your child if you sent them to daycare. It just didn't make financial sense for you to work if all your money was going to child care.
You are absolutely right about the raise vs. watch thing. That was exactly what I meant in my original post too. Things can easily be misunderstood over the internet.
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| Posted 4/25/12 10:41 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by cncforever
I just wonder why Hazeleyes isn't a SAHM for someone so judgey-wudgey.
She's choosing not to sacrifice THAT much of her lifestyle, I guess.
Isn't the mantra "you can always cut back SOMEWHERE in order to be a SAHM" ?
ITA with this. Her posts on this thread don't make sense at all. They are completely inconsistent. COMPLETELY. Personally, to all those she offended I wouldn't take what she says very seriously - it is clear (to me any way) that she is trying to justify her own life to herself (whether she realizes it or not).
Message edited 4/25/2012 11:22:54 PM.
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| Posted 4/25/12 11:22 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Sometimes, i feel really sad when people make different parenting decisions than i do, bc they clearly dont love their kids as much as i love mine. 
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| Posted 4/26/12 12:00 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Also, for anyone bothered by Hazel's posts, just do a search on her posts for the first couple of years. Seriously- every single thread she started had the " " icon next to it and was either about how much everything cost or how she (again) needed ideas for jobs for her husband, bc none of them ever seemed to work out (no mention in those threads about the value of him staying home, just allusions to how he couldn't keep a job and that's why he wasn't working- that's not convenient to this topic though, so it all gets twisted). Now all of a sudden, the last couple of years, she has all the answers when it comes to family financial planning. (though, still sprinkle in that the DH is looking, again, for a job and is wondering if any new industries have been invented since the last time she asked the question). Just walk away- its not worth it. S/he's probably not even real, and if s/he is, s/her/his favorite past time, besides kicking puppies, is instigating interwebs drama. Walk awayyyyyyyy!!!!
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| Posted 4/26/12 12:06 AM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by neenie
S/he's probably not even real, and if s/he is, s/her/his favorite past time, besides kicking puppies, is instigating interwebs drama. Walk awayyyyyyyy!!!!
I prefer "shim"
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| Posted 4/26/12 12:10 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by HeathKernandez
Posted by neenie
S/he's probably not even real, and if s/he is, s/her/his favorite past time, besides kicking puppies, is instigating interwebs drama. Walk awayyyyyyyy!!!!
I prefer "shim"
thank you i have the vocabulary of a 6 yr old- my parents had blue eyes and green eyes, and therefor, were inferior. 
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| Posted 4/26/12 12:14 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
and until the discrimination ends, and Childless Families are offended on this thready EQUALLY with everyone else, i refuse to contribute anymore on the topic. I like to imagine that i'm the brad/angelina of this topic and my silent protest will speak volumes. Namaste.
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| Posted 4/26/12 12:20 AM |
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MrsS1976
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/11 534 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by neenie
Sometimes, i feel really sad when people make different parenting decisions than i do, bc they clearly dont love their kids as much as i love mine.
 This statement is confusing, are you saying it tongue in cheek because of the way this thread exploded or do you really feel parents who choose a different lifestyle or choice that is different than yours, that somehow those parents love their kids LESS?
As to the judgey wudgey comments, (I love that term by the way, now I gotta find a way to work that one in with my friends at dinner next time ) my thoughts are that there is just as much need for a SAHM as there is for a working mom, because different families require different setups.
Further, you can never know whether being a SAHM/working mom will be the best or the worst decision of your parenting life. People don't want to admit it, but we're all generally clueless when it comes to which of the two choices will be better for our families in the long run. Best to do what seems to be best for now and keep your eyes and mind open. Such is the method of a good parent.
Message edited 4/26/2012 1:29:21 AM.
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| Posted 4/26/12 1:27 AM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by MrsS1976
Posted by neenie
Sometimes, i feel really sad when people make different parenting decisions than i do, bc they clearly dont love their kids as much as i love mine.
This statement is confusing, are you saying it tongue in cheek because of the way this thread exploded or do you really feel parents who choose a different lifestyle or choice that is different than yours, that somehow those parents love their kids LESS?
I think she meant it in a funny/sarcastic way. 
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| Posted 4/26/12 1:41 AM |
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