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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by anonymoususer
Pls. And if you left him in the middle of Pennsylvania station while you went to pee someone would be calling child services on you
Do what you gotta do
Mine is almost 9. At a place like that If I’m alone they’re coming with me. Period.
Someone would call CPS and believe me, you would likely get in trouble with CPS for having left them unattended.
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Posted 4/23/19 8:58 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Absolutely- and you should!
Nobody should feel they have to leave their kid in a situation like that (I’m talking about super crowded penn station, stadium, airport- if we were talking about them going to a bathroom alone at the age of 8/9/10 while at your local restaurant that’s obv different)
Come on
Like I said if it were me and I was alone they’d be standing with both their feet in front of my stall while I peed and I’d be right outside the stall if they had to pee. No fn way am I giving a crap what other people think when it comes to my kids safety
Message edited 4/23/2019 9:54:57 PM.
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| Posted 4/23/19 9:33 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
My DS is the same age and I am with you. I was in penn station with him recently and of course he had to go to the bathroom. I felt a little weird about it but I brought him into the ladies room with me. No way is he going alone into the men’s room there!! No way. And it was fine- no one batted an eye in the ladies room.
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| Posted 4/23/19 11:00 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
I’m shocked that people don’t let a 10yr old go in the bathroom by themselves.
So what age will you stop and let them go in the bathroom alone?
One thing I noticed is that I have to teach my son to be more independent. I realized because we mostly drive and when we cross the street impulse makes me grab his hand that my 10 almost 11yr old can’t cross the street. He knows the rule but lacks the confidence. I find it ridiculous that my son is learning how to be confident on how to cross the street on his own at this age. So I am at the stage in my parenting where I want to teach him how to be confident and know how to deal or react to the real world.
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| Posted 4/23/19 11:55 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by anonymoususer
Pls. And if you left him in the middle of Pennsylvania station while you went to pee someone would be calling child services on you
Do what you gotta do
Mine is almost 9. At a place like that If I’m alone they’re coming with me. Period.
Someone would call CPS and believe me, you would likely get in trouble with CPS for having left them unattended.
No one in NYC is calling CPS on a big kid standing outside a restroom for 5 minutes lol. The parent will be out of the bathroom before the call was done. This is an exaggeration. Especially Pen station where no one is giving a shit about anything but themselves and getting home. (Not saying anyone should leave their kids unattended)
It’s so funny because in Manhattan, kids at 10yrs old take the the subway to school and other activities. Lol. I see them all the time on my morning commute.
Message edited 4/24/2019 12:02:20 AM.
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| Posted 4/24/19 12:01 AM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3990 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Sash
I’m shocked that people don’t let a 10yr old go in the bathroom by themselves.
So what age will you stop and let them go in the bathroom alone?
One thing I noticed is that I have to teach my son to be more independent. I realized because we mostly drive and when we cross the street impulse makes me grab his hand that my 10 almost 11yr old can’t cross the street. He knows the rule but lacks the confidence. I find it ridiculous that my son is learning how to be confident on how to cross the street on his own at this age. So I am at the stage in my parenting where I want to teach him how to be confident and know how to deal or react to the real world.
I dont think this situation has anything to do with whether or not a child is independent but more about other people being crazy.......you just never know and honestly I cant blame a mother or father for being overly cautious, especially in a public place that is as busy as Penn.
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| Posted 4/24/19 12:03 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Not leaving them outside
Not for a second.
Call me a helicopter parent. I don’t care
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| Posted 4/24/19 12:17 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by RainyDay
Posted by Sash
I’m shocked that people don’t let a 10yr old go in the bathroom by themselves.
So what age will you stop and let them go in the bathroom alone?
One thing I noticed is that I have to teach my son to be more independent. I realized because we mostly drive and when we cross the street impulse makes me grab his hand that my 10 almost 11yr old can’t cross the street. He knows the rule but lacks the confidence. I find it ridiculous that my son is learning how to be confident on how to cross the street on his own at this age. So I am at the stage in my parenting where I want to teach him how to be confident and know how to deal or react to the real world.
I dont think this situation has anything to do with whether or not a child is independent but more about other people being crazy.......you just never know and honestly I cant blame a mother or father for being overly cautious, especially in a public place that is as busy as Penn.
My post had nothing to do with leaving them outside in Penn station or leaving them alone .
Several posters said they wouldn’t even let their 10yr old go in a bathroom alone. So at what age will you do it? That was my first questions. The independence thing ties in together.
And that independence example I wanted to share , was my own personal mom experience where I felt like I was lacking, not for it to be thrown back as an argument against me. But of course it would be on this forum.
So you are with your 16 yr old in a “crazy” place like Penn and you won’t let them go to the bathroom on their own? That was my question.
ETA: people are crazy all the time, so you might as well never let your children leave or do anything by themselves even at 18+
Message edited 4/24/2019 12:50:17 AM.
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| Posted 4/24/19 12:40 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
My 10 year old would give me a really hard time if I asked him to go into the bathroom with me. He hasn’t been in a women’s bathroom in at least a few years. My 6 year old fights going to the women’s bathroom too especially since his brother can use the men’s room. I’m usually out with DH so he’ll at least take my younger one into the bathroom if there’s more than 1 stall. I’ve also waited right outside of the bathroom and they’re usually out very quickly.
In a place like Penn Station, if my older one couldn’t wait for another option, I’d probably push the issue. I don’t think I’d want him going in there alone.
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| Posted 4/24/19 5:24 AM |
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Sash
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by anonymoususer
Pls. And if you left him in the middle of Pennsylvania station while you went to pee someone would be calling child services on you
Do what you gotta do
Mine is almost 9. At a place like that If I’m alone they’re coming with me. Period.
Someone would call CPS and believe me, you would likely get in trouble with CPS for having left them unattended.
No one in NYC is calling CPS on a big kid standing outside a restroom for 5 minutes lol. The parent will be out of the bathroom before the call was done. This is an exaggeration. Especially Pen station where no one is giving a shit about anything but themselves and getting home. (Not saying anyone should leave their kids unattended)
It’s so funny because in Manhattan, kids at 10yrs old take the the subway to school and other activities. Lol. I see them all the time on my morning commute.
Yup. I live within NYC and my 11 year old walks home and this summer will take the local bus home from camp (he will be 12) alone.
ACS (it's not even CPS in the city) can't even deal with the REAL calls. To think that they'd deal with this is ridiculous
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| Posted 4/24/19 10:22 AM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Somewhere private like a bathroom can be dangerous for boys to go in alone. There are predators everywhere.
If I am out with my nephew who is currently 9 he is coming in bathroom with me.
To answer Sash question about what age would they go alone I don't know 
At this point I think of him as a little boy still...
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| Posted 4/24/19 10:39 AM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Bathroom etiquette w child?
I have no problem with a 10 year old coming into the rest room. Like pp said there are stalls and privacy. We are trying to teach our kids about gender and how you can identify as whatever you want. There is a boy in my childs class that prefers to wear pink, have long hair, play with the girls, etc. My hope is that child can go where he feels comfortable not where society feels comfort.
I hope the idea of boys/girls in different restrooms becomes history.
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| Posted 4/24/19 10:42 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by JandJ1224
Somewhere private like a bathroom can be dangerous for boys to go in alone. There are predators everywhere.
If I am out with my nephew who is currently 9 he is coming in bathroom with me.
To answer Sash question about what age would they go alone I don't know
At this point I think of him as a little boy still...
I know they will always be your babies, trust me. I feel like I’m in a transitional period. At some you have to let them do it.
I did go through this already with my stepson who is 21, so I think it sometimes easier to start allowing my son to do things. It was actually me that told my DH to let my SS go in the bathroom alone at 11. Lol, he also thought I was nuts then as well.
Message edited 4/24/2019 10:48:13 AM.
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| Posted 4/24/19 10:47 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by b2b777
I have no problem with a 10 year old coming into the rest room. Like pp said there are stalls and privacy. We are trying to teach our kids about gender and how you can identify as whatever you want. There is a boy in my childs class that prefers to wear pink, have long hair, play with the girls, etc. My hope is that child can go where he feels comfortable not where society feels comfort.
I hope the idea of boys/girls in different restrooms becomes history.
I agree. I see no need for separate men's and women's rest rooms at all in this day and age. It's archaic if you ask me.
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| Posted 4/24/19 11:29 AM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
I don't have boys but in the world we live in today, my child is not going to be unattended not even for a second. I will take him to the ladies room whether he likes it or not. I referring to a large public place like Penn Station.
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| Posted 4/24/19 11:45 AM |
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by anonymoususer
Pls. And if you left him in the middle of Pennsylvania station while you went to pee someone would be calling child services on you
Do what you gotta do
Mine is almost 9. At a place like that If I’m alone they’re coming with me. Period.
Someone would call CPS and believe me, you would likely get in trouble with CPS for having left them unattended.
But why? What exactly is the danger here?
I think we’re doing a vast disservice to society by acting as if there danger around every corner.
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| Posted 4/24/19 11:48 AM |
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by mommywantsababy
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by anonymoususer
Pls. And if you left him in the middle of Pennsylvania station while you went to pee someone would be calling child services on you
Do what you gotta do
Mine is almost 9. At a place like that If I’m alone they’re coming with me. Period.
Someone would call CPS and believe me, you would likely get in trouble with CPS for having left them unattended.
But why? What exactly is the danger here?
I think we’re doing a vast disservice to society by acting as if there danger around every corner.
And don't you think that you'd be long gone before ACS even got there? That whole idea is ridiculous
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| Posted 4/24/19 12:20 PM |
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by mommywantsababy
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by anonymoususer
Pls. And if you left him in the middle of Pennsylvania station while you went to pee someone would be calling child services on you
Do what you gotta do
Mine is almost 9. At a place like that If I’m alone they’re coming with me. Period.
Someone would call CPS and believe me, you would likely get in trouble with CPS for having left them unattended.
But why? What exactly is the danger here?
I think we’re doing a vast disservice to society by acting as if there danger around every corner.
And don't you think that you'd be long gone before ACS even got there? That whole idea is ridiculous
Ok obv acs isn’t coming to penn station. My point is that I’m sure some people would make a huge stink about it. Walk him over to the police etc. And they should. Sorry but if a kid isn’t used to the hustle and bustle and hectic nature of certain places, there’s no need to let them be unattended where for those five minutes of waiting on line and running to the bathroom you’d have to worry if you’re peeing fast enough to get back out there to him before something happens.
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| Posted 4/24/19 12:35 PM |
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isabelle2137
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1076 total posts
Name:
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Bathroom etiquette w child?
Penn Station is an absolute disgrace. While I too struggle with not making my kids afraid of every little thing, Penn Station is not the place to test stuff like this out. I commute through there every day. My almost 10 year son old would be in the bathroom with me in Penn Station.
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| Posted 4/24/19 12:44 PM |
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by anonymoususer
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by mommywantsababy
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by anonymoususer
Pls. And if you left him in the middle of Pennsylvania station while you went to pee someone would be calling child services on you
Do what you gotta do
Mine is almost 9. At a place like that If I’m alone they’re coming with me. Period.
Someone would call CPS and believe me, you would likely get in trouble with CPS for having left them unattended.
But why? What exactly is the danger here?
I think we’re doing a vast disservice to society by acting as if there danger around every corner.
And don't you think that you'd be long gone before ACS even got there? That whole idea is ridiculous
Ok obv acs isn’t coming to penn station. My point is that I’m sure some people would make a huge stink about it. Walk him over to the police etc. And they should. Sorry but if a kid isn’t used to the hustle and bustle and hectic nature of certain places, there’s no need to let them be unattended where for those five minutes of waiting on line and running to the bathroom you’d have to worry if you’re peeing fast enough to get back out there to him before something happens.
Multiple people here are saying that you’ll have cps called on you, and I’m just struggling to find the actual danger in leaving a 10 year old, non-special needs child for 5 minutes. Especially as there is a police stand right there.
What exactly is the danger or negligence?
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| Posted 4/24/19 2:08 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Bathroom etiquette w child?
Without re-reading the responses, wouldn’t it make sense to ask a 10 year old what he’s comfortable with? Not to say that he gets final say, but I feel like his opinion should be taken into consideration.
Now, I would assume a 10 year old boys isn’t going to say “YES MA, take me to the ladies room” but asking the question will gauge whether or not he feels safe waiting outside.
Message edited 4/24/2019 2:25:46 PM.
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| Posted 4/24/19 2:25 PM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by mommywantsababy
Posted by anonymoususer
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by mommywantsababy
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by anonymoususer
Pls. And if you left him in the middle of Pennsylvania station while you went to pee someone would be calling child services on you
Do what you gotta do
Mine is almost 9. At a place like that If I’m alone they’re coming with me. Period.
Someone would call CPS and believe me, you would likely get in trouble with CPS for having left them unattended.
But why? What exactly is the danger here?
I think we’re doing a vast disservice to society by acting as if there danger around every corner.
And don't you think that you'd be long gone before ACS even got there? That whole idea is ridiculous
Ok obv acs isn’t coming to penn station. My point is that I’m sure some people would make a huge stink about it. Walk him over to the police etc. And they should. Sorry but if a kid isn’t used to the hustle and bustle and hectic nature of certain places, there’s no need to let them be unattended where for those five minutes of waiting on line and running to the bathroom you’d have to worry if you’re peeing fast enough to get back out there to him before something happens.
Multiple people here are saying that you’ll have cps called on you, and I’m just struggling to find the actual danger in leaving a 10 year old, non-special needs child for 5 minutes. Especially as there is a police stand right there.
What exactly is the danger or negligence?
Loaded question for sure.
I think as a 10 year old child i would have been OK but it is all how you are raised and what you are exposed to on a daily basis. If your child has been sheltered to a degree and you bring them through Penn Station they could get overwhelmed by the mass of people, the noise, the amount of homeless, drunk/high/mentally ill people running around. It is a lot. I think the actual danger is probably small but the impact could be large.
I also am insane and always think the absolute worst -- i mean a bomb can go off at any moment anywhere. It is a hard world to raise our kids in.
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| Posted 4/24/19 2:28 PM |
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by LuckyStar
Without re-reading the responses, wouldn’t it make sense to ask a 10 year old what he’s comfortable with? Not to say that he gets final say, but I feel like his opinion should be taken into consideration.
Now, I would assume a 10 year old boys isn’t going to say “YES MA, take me to the ladies room” but asking the question will gauge whether or not he feels safe waiting outside.
That’s what I said. No one seems to think the comfort level of the boy is relevant. As the mom of 14 and 15 year old boys, this was my first concern. At 10 years old my boys were extremely self conscious and would rather die than accompany me into the ladies room for any reason. We have an excellent relationship, in part because I listen to and take their feelings into consideration. If they didn’t want to do something we found an alternative we could all live with.
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| Posted 4/24/19 6:18 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
Posted by Dolphinsbaby
He would be going in with me. My twins are 7 and I wouldn’t even let them go in together alone in a crowded public place. On a side note, my youngest who has autism will be turning 6 soon. I will be having to take him into the rest room when he is a teenager and adult. I often think about what people will think but I really don’t/won’t have a choice. First of all, there are times I have to go and he can’t be left alone obviously. He actually has to be in the stall with me because he is an eloper. Secondly, he can’t hold it in. Yes, this may change as he gets older (he has only been fully potty trained for about a year) and he has still has accidents. My point is I would never judge someone. To each their own.
Oh trust me, this gets much harder as they get older. My son is 20 and has autism. He is not an eloper though. But, has extreme anxiety in going into the men's room. He will hold it all day before he goes into the men's room. So, we have to seek out single stall restrooms, and most places DO have them, fortunately.
We recently had an emergency situation at Atlantis in the Bahamas, and there were ZERO family restrooms in the pool area. My son was choking on a hot dog, and had a piece still lodged and was throwing up phlegm forever, and I couldn't have him trying to get it up in the men's room alone. And our room was a mile away (Atlantis is huge). I asked the employee if he could mention to the line of the ladies room that I'm escorting him into the handicap stall in there and the employee said no, just have him throw up in the bushes. That's a whole other post though 
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| Posted 4/24/19 7:01 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bathroom etiquette w child?
I am once again shocked that something so simple can turn into a big controversy on LIF.
I don't care if you aren't "comfortable with it"-- no WAY in HELL am I leaving my 9 year old son alone to go into a men's room in some place as crazy as Penn station. My son has not gone through puberty, he is still a child.
There are literally huge volumes of people I Penn station and stadiums for example, some of which are drunk, I'm sure possibly mentally ill, possible child predators, pick pockets, muggers, possibly terrorist bombings---- NO EFFING WAY. I don't care if you are "uncomfortable." And no I don't think CPS would be called to the spot in 5 minutes, however, the cops are there and god forbid your child got lost or worse. You would be found neglectful I believe, also depending on the child's developmental level.
I would be comfortable when my son is more like 14+ to go alone into the bathroom there. When he has more sense and some physical strength to defend himself or run if needed.
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| Posted 4/24/19 9:09 PM |
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