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-Lisa-
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Member since 5/05 6530 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
My wedding was adult only. The flower girl & ring bearer stayed through the cocktail hour, and then went home. One guest brought her newborn, which was fine -I didn't even know he was there until I went to their table (he slept the whole time)
Now as a mom, I'm fine being invited to adult only weddings. I have no desire to have my kids there.
At my BIL's OOT wedding, I brought Ella with us for the weekend. She came to the rehearsal dinner, church, was in family pictures, and then my sister babysat her in the hotel during the reception.
At my sister's wedding, Ella & Erik went to the church and cocktail hour, and then went home with my SIL.
We're going to VT for a wedding in two weeks. The kids are staying here for the weekend with my IL's.
I'm fortunate to have family to watch them, but I'd have no problem getting a babysitter if need be.
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Posted 1/21/10 11:53 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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hazeleyes33
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Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by maybesoon
. but if I did have children I would have a big problem with it, and woudl insist my baby come with. .
if you were my family member and INSISTED on bringing your child to MY wedding which is an adult only wedding, I would have told you to stay home...that is a pretty nervy thing to say 
I didn't want my guests to have to feel like they were at home. I wanted them to share my special day with them. I wanted them to have a night out to relax from the everyday routine. I didn't have one couple that did have children say they could not come or even ask if they could bring their children.
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| Posted 1/21/10 11:54 AM |
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anonttcer
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Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by maybesoon
. but if I did have children I would have a big problem with it, and woudl insist my baby come with. .
if you were my family member and INSISTED on bringing your child to MY wedding which is an adult only wedding, I would have told you to stay home...that is a pretty nervy thing to say
ITA- who is ANYONE to dictate who they are bringing to MY wedding.
That would put me over the edge.
Not only that- everyone that came was THRILLED to have an adults night out.
To eat, drink, dance and enjoy themselves without having to worry about chasing their children.
I'm not sure there is anyone that doesn't enjoy the occasional night out without the kids.
I think it's healthy actually!
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| Posted 1/21/10 11:58 AM |
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MrsPJB2007
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MJ
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by maybesoon
. but if I did have children I would have a big problem with it, and woudl insist my baby come with. .
if you were my family member and INSISTED on bringing your child to MY wedding which is an adult only wedding, I would have told you to stay home...that is a pretty nervy thing to say
Ditto.
I think its very hypocritical to say its rude to NOT include children, when someone else is paying for and inviting someone to THEIR event.....and then turn around and say its okay to INSIST that they include children. How is it NOT rude to dictate to someone and say "No I don't think so, either my kid(s) comes or I don't go."
DH's brother pulled that crap--and ya know what? He missed out on his brother's wedding. His loss.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:00 PM |
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InfinitiGal
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Member since 5/09 153 total posts
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Lisa
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by maybesoon
. but if I did have children I would have a big problem with it, and woudl insist my baby come with. .
if you were my family member and INSISTED on bringing your child to MY wedding which is an adult only wedding, I would have told you to stay home...that is a pretty nervy thing to say
ITA- who is ANYONE to dictate who they are bringing to MY wedding.
That would put me over the edge.
Not only that- everyone that came was THRILLED to have an adults night out.
To eat, drink, dance and enjoy themselves without having to worry about chasing their children.
I'm not sure there is anyone that doesn't enjoy the occasional night out without the kids.
I think it's healthy actually!
If someone insisted they bring their child/children to my wedding if children were not invited I would tell them to go poop in their hat and let them know I will send them a link to the pictures on shutterfly so they can see what they missed.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:01 PM |
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eroxgirl
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Rebecca
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
We had a restriction on children - no children younger than whatever my DH's nephew was at the time (probably 8) because his sister FLIPPED when I said there wouldn't be any kids invited.... but since my uncle was coming from California with his 2 - a 14 year old and a 9 year old I had to cave and let hers come too.
The people in my bridal party had 12 kids between them... the rest of the guests would probably have doubled the number and I was trying to keep my wedding small. It was a tight squeeze to begin with.
Some there were some couples who came solo so that the other could watch the children and I was perfectly okay with that.
My mother never brought me to weddings as a kid. I was taught that a wedding was an adult event. Even my uncle who traveled from California said he would have left his kids home if it was an option.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:02 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
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MJ
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by InfinitiGal
If someone insisted they bring their child/children to my wedding if children were not invited I would tell them to go poop in their hat....
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:03 PM |
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eddiesmommy
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Melissa
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by maybesoon
my cousin had an adult only reception, at the time I had no kids so I didn't have any issues. but if I did have children I would have a big problem with it, and woudl insist my baby come with. if it were someone I was not too close with I would pass on the wedding. I personally think its rude to not include a couples children.
ETS that was the only wedding (swan club) I've ever been to that was adult only. My other cousin got married in Oheka castle and all the kids where there.
I think its rude to insist you bring your child, its is the couples event and they can host it as they see fit. I dont think you need to agree with it, but then you have the option to politely decline. Again, I have a child too.
Message edited 1/21/2010 12:06:29 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:03 PM |
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DiamondGirl
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DiamondMama
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
This topic always gets people so fired up
Honestly if you are insulted that your kids aren't invited to a wedding you have an option do not attend. If you know the person well and say "we would love to but can't find a sitter" leave it up them maybe they will say "oh no bring Junior"....BUT
IMO demanding you bring your kids is tacky and rude, regardless of if you feel your kids should have been invited.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:17 PM |
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Wow, I think I'm the only one who had kids at our wedding. We had only 4, but I would have been happy if some of our friends brought their kids. They just chose to use it as a night out. We even made kids favor bags. For us it was a party and I like the fun that kids bring to a celebration. Everyone was really well behaved and the kids loved dancing.
And it was super cute because it so happened that my flower girl caught the bouquet and DH's little cousin caught the garter!
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:30 PM |
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JessInCA
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Jess
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
For our wedding, DH and I went back and forth over the kid issue for a long time. We weren't thrilled about the extra expenses and the possibility of bad behavior if we did have children there, but we also felt that weddings are the uniting of two families, and children are a part of those families too. I'd personally had hurt feelings when I wasn't invited to my cousin's wedding when I was 16 (because I was considered one of the "kids") and in DH's family, children normally attend every event.
We ended up deciding to invite the kids because we had people who were important to us coming from upstate and out of state, and we decided we'd rather have them AND their children there, then have them possibly not be able to make it. Also we already had 2 kids in the wedding party who would be there, and they both had siblings.
Turned out fine - the majority of our local guests chose to keep the kids at home anyway, so we ended up with only 7 kids there, and they behaved pretty well.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:31 PM |
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MeeshMosh
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
wow! im pretty surprised at how many ppl had an adult only reception -- i knew people did it, i just never realized how popular it was
i, on the other hand, have NEVER been to an "adult only" reception! if i had kids, i wouldnt care in the least... in fact, i probably wouldnt bring my child to a wedding... UNLESS it was a family member -- my family would be insulted if i DIDNT bring my child lol
that being said, our wedding was child friendly! i am one of 22 grandchildren ranging from 36 years old to 2 months old -- i had a kids table set up at the reception with candy, games and playing cards to occupy my cousins
thats where we drew the line however... only first cousins and bridal party kids were invited.... friends kids, cousins kids, MIL's friends kids were NOT invited.... so while i am all for child friendly receptions, you do have to draw the line someplace!
Message edited 1/21/2010 12:36:09 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:35 PM |
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GucciFucci1
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Carlie
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
My brother had an adult only reception only because he didn't want tons of kids running around during the reception.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:36 PM |
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Cpt2007
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Member since 1/08 5946 total posts
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Liz
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
I'm clearly in the minority on this one, but we allowed children at our wedding. All but 7 guests at our wedding were OOS and the only way we would have been able to have our family and friends join us was to invite entire families (parents plus children). Out of 91 people who attended, 12 were kids b/w the ages of 18 mo and 9 y/o.
I will always be glad we did it this way b/c the kids were so much fun to have there and in many ways, they made the night so special.
But in the end, it is the bride and groom's decision, and if they want an adult's only reception, those invited should respect that, follow their lead and keep their opinions to themselves.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:40 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
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A.K.
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by DiamondGirl
This topic always gets people so fired up
Honestly if you are insulted that your kids aren't invited to a wedding you have an option do not attend. If you know the person well and say "we would love to but can't find a sitter" leave it up them maybe they will say "oh no bring Junior"....BUT
IMO demanding you bring your kids is tacky and rude, regardless of if you feel your kids should have been invited.
Totally agree with this! It's no different than being invited without a guest, and then showing up with a guest.
I NEVER went to weddings with my parents when I was a child. They just don't belong there - kids get bored and tired and how on earth are adults supposed to enjoy themselves and appreciate the wedding while kids are running around screaming? Plus it's a total waste of money unless it's immediate family or you are very close to them and want them there for some other reason.
I had my immediate nieces and nephews in my wedding party and at the reception but no other guests children, including my maid of honor's child, was invited. A bride has enough stress and organization responsibilities and shouldn't have to worry about whether or not her bridal party would be available for photos or whether she wouldn't because she has to run after her toddler.
It's not personal and I am so shocked that people are insulted that their child isn't invited. You wouldn't bring your children to a bar, would you? There are some places they don't belong. It's a slippery slope once you start inviting one child and honestly if I wanted to plan a carnival or to throw a party for 50 children I'd have it at a bouncy place and not an expensive reception hall.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:43 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
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A.K.
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
By the way, if I had a significant amount of guests with children coming in from out of state, I would definitely have arranged (and paid for) child care during the reception.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:45 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
i had an adult only wedding for a couple of reasons ... mostly money i had to pay full price for them and it was not worth it and it would have made my guest list gro out of control second it was late and i really didnt want a bunch kids running around ... i dont understand why anyone would want to bring their child to a wedding anyway!! I dont have kids yet but i am pretty sure if i was invited to a wedding i would enjoy a night out without the kids!!!
i invited quite a few OOT guests and most didnt come but it really had nothing to do with no kids if they did come i would have offered to have babysitters here if they needed someone to watch the kids!
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:49 PM |
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alli3131
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Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
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Allison
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
My entire family was OOT and since I didnt invite kids I did have some people not attend and I knew well in advance that this was possibility and I completely understood as they understood that children were not invited and never even asked if they could bring them.
It is very rude to insist on bringing an extra person (any age) when it is clear on the invite who is invited.
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| Posted 1/21/10 12:56 PM |
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Kara
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They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by ChilisWife
You wouldn't bring your children to a bar, would you?
Slightly off topic... but after my RD, we went to a local bar for a few more drinks (and a few too many for the bride, but that's another story)... Someone my brothers knew from childhood was at the barn with her DH... and their infant was in her carrier up on the bar.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:03 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
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MJ
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by Kara
Slightly off topic... but after my RD, we went to a local bar for a few more drinks (and a few too many for the bride, but that's another story)... Someone my brothers knew from childhood was at the barn with her DH... and their infant was in her carrier up on the bar.
I just thinking about the movie Sweet Home Alabama -- when Reese Witherspoon sees her old friend and says "You have a baby.....in a bar!"
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:06 PM |
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eddiesmommy
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Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
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Melissa
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by Kara
Posted by ChilisWife
You wouldn't bring your children to a bar, would you?
Slightly off topic... but after my RD, we went to a local bar for a few more drinks (and a few too many for the bride, but that's another story)... Someone my brothers knew from childhood was at the barn with her DH... and their infant was in her carrier up on the bar.
are babies not allowed in barns? You do always run the risk of them getting kicked it the head by a mule.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:18 PM |
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MeNBobs
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Of course kids were invited. They got in at a discounted rate and a family of 5 gives a better envelope than a couple.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:23 PM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
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Jennifer
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
I thought adult only receptions was pretty common/typical now. We did an adult only reception and noted it on our invite. One, if you let one or two people bring their kids, then you have to let everyone bring their kids. One of my Aunts has 6 kids alone! Two, I wanted people to ENJOY themselves and not have to worry about watching their kids. Three, our room wasn't the largest and we didn't really have the room to have kids running around.
ETA: We only had 3 people come in from out of state and they had no kids. Also, we didn't hear from anyone that having to leave their kids at home was a problem.
Message edited 1/21/2010 1:27:02 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:25 PM |
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OStewarts
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by headoverheels
Honestly, I thought it was the norm! I have never been to a wedding where children other than those in the bridal party were invited.
Same here. No one brought their children to my wedding reception. Some people brought their kids to the church service and then dropped them off before the reception. No one even asked if they could bring their children.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:34 PM |
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mandasue
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Amanda
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
i grew up upstate ny and children always went to weddings, and as a child i hated them, i had to sit and behave and be quiet all day long.....as a kid that stinks
we had an adult only reception with the only kids were the 3 that were in the bridal party
we did this for several reasons
1- if we let 1 come we would end up with 30
2-sat night wedding CH started at 7, too late for little ones
3-adults need a night out too
we did have a lot of family from oos, we had my neice, who was 18 in the hotel, a suite style room to watch the children of people who called and asked about their young children, so she watch 4 kids for us
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:35 PM |
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