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KirR
LIF Infant
Member since 1/09 146 total posts
Name:
K.
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
DH and I chose to have an "adults only" reception because we were not having children in our wedding party and it was going to be a long, late night (over at 1am) that we didn't want disturbed by over-stimulated children. We paid for our own wedding, spent a fair chunk of change, and wanted everyone to be able to relax and enjoy themselves as adults. Besides the fact that it was expensive (cost-prohibitive) to have children attend. My attitude was that if someone really wanted to attend our wedding, they would figure out a way to make it happen.
This is a personal choice made by the bride and groom, for whatever the reasons, and it should be respected by those attending - end of story.
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Posted 1/21/10 1:36 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
I only typed one of out three "bars" incorrectly. That's good for me.
I also wrote "bridle" on NFR today when I meant to write "bridal." *sigh* It's an illness I say!
And the barN is overrun with children! 
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:40 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by Kara
I only typed one of out three "bars" incorrectly. That's good for me.
I also wrote "bridle" on NFR today when I meant to write "bridal." *sigh* It's an illness I say!
And the barN is overrun with children!
I would think if you are going to invite kids anywhere, and barn would be one of the best places, LOL
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:41 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Kara
Slightly off topic... but after my RD, we went to a local bar for a few more drinks (and a few too many for the bride, but that's another story)... Someone my brothers knew from childhood was at the barn with her DH... and their infant was in her carrier up on the bar.
I just  thinking about the movie Sweet Home Alabama -- when Reese Witherspoon sees her old friend and says "You have a baby.....in a bar!"
And that night, my SIL must have quoted that a million and one times.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:42 PM |
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MissingLI
Such a Big Boy!
Member since 1/06 1602 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
I'm running into this issue myself already while planning our wedding. We live in AZ and are planning to have our wedding on Coronado Island (San Diego area). I've already had 2 friends tell us about how they are bringing the kids to make a family trip out of it. (haven't even sent the STD's out yet, Feb 2011 wedding).
Now I feel obligated to have the kids at the wedding. I think they will be ok as far as behavior, but I'm not sure. We were only going to have 50 people as well, now that either ups the count or takes away. I'm a little annoyed about the whole thing, but what can we do at this point.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:59 PM |
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steph7308
Mommy of 2!!!
Member since 5/08 2083 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
my bil just got engaged and his fw wants an adult only reception. the problem with that is, all my babysitters will be at the wedding and i have NO ONE else to watch dd, so shes leaning towards letting dd come but now the issue is fh other brother has 4 and 6 yo girls and bil fw dosnt want them there. they just got engaged but i know as it gets closer to the wedding its gonna cause a lot of drama. personally, i can kinda understand if u dont want kids there but to put out immediate family, i dont think its that nice.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:01 PM |
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doormouse
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 155 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
We had kids at our wedding and I'm glad we did. They got such a kick out of the whole thing (they loved getting Shirley Temples and "drinks" from the bar and dancing) and it was a chance to see a lot of relatives with kids from out of state that we don't get to see very often. There were probably about 8 kids under the age of 10 there including a baby and I definitely don't think that they took anything away from it being "my day."
I totally understand why people wouldn't want kids at their wedding (especially when it comes down to costs, huge families, etc.) but I couldn't imagine having had my wedding without the kids in my family.
To each his own!
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:13 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
We didn't have kids at our wedding, but only one close family member had a young child and they had a nanny watching him nearby.
Last year, 2 of our siblings got married and DS went to both. We've left him with family members for other weddings. At SIL's wedding, he was 5.5 months old and stayed there the entire time. He also went to a Bat Mitzvah at 4.5 months old. He was fantastic at both events. The loud music didn't bother him at all. DS was 11 months old at my brother's wedding. He went to the ceremony and part of the cocktail hour. Then, we had a babysitter watch him in another room so he could sleep.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:25 PM |
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timanda
Puppy Love
Member since 6/08 1627 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by maybesoon
my cousin had an adult only reception, at the time I had no kids so I didn't have any issues. but if I did have children I would have a big problem with it, and woudl insist my baby come with. if it were someone I was not too close with I would pass on the wedding. I personally think its rude to not include a couples children.
I personally think it's rude to expect a couple to pay for EVERYONE'S children to attend a formal affair.
And rude to expect everyone at the wedding to have to step and trip over misbehaved children on the dance floor, the buffet line, wahtever.
Where do you draw the line?
Should we have hired a clown to entertain them as well?
Maybe have the wedding at Chuck E Cheese to accomodate everyone's kids?
I don't see how anyone's wedding guest list is anyone's else's business.
Unless you are paying for it, you shouldn't have a say.
I completely agree with you and I am also about the clown and CEC.
ETA - We did have some kids - those in the bridal party and first cousins, immediate neices and nephews. But that was it, we drew a line and most people were grateful that they could have a night out without feeling guilty about not bringing their DC. I personally always assume a wedding reception is adults only, because that is how it usually was when I was a kid. If I wasn't on the invite, I wasn't invited. A wedding was always a "grown up" event. And it seems like that was the case for most people.
Message edited 1/21/2010 2:36:49 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:29 PM |
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
We're in the minority here, we had quite a few kids at our wedding. It was formal and I think they were all well behaved. We just couldn't imagine the day without them, it was a family celebration and we wanted to include everyone. I understand and would never judge someone for having an adult-only reception, it just wasn't for us!  
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:29 PM |
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Babyaholic
Thankful
Member since 6/09 1459 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
I had an adult only reception. I just didn't want kids at my wedding. Nothing to do with cost. I am just not a fan of kids at a wedding. My wedding, my decision.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:32 PM |
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NRuby515
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 210 total posts
Name:
Nicole - NikkiR515 on LIW
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
We had an adult only reception for two reasons. One, I didn't want a bunch of kids running around like crazy all night and two, we had such a huge guest list and if we added kids it would have been unreal! Our guest list was 275...If we added kids, it would have been 350 EASY! 
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:35 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
I didn't want any kids at my wedding - i had visions of screaming babies during the reception and me turning around and yelling at them and ruining the ceremony.
However, when i said that.. DH and his family acted as if i was a horrible monster!
Luckily there were only his two little cousins (4 and 6) that had to be accommodated and they were fine the whole time. If there were more, i think it would've been an issue for us.
Personally, i don't think kids of any age belong at a wedding - it's an adult celebration, waaay too long for a kid to pay attention, and it puts a burden on the parent to have to watch the kid instead of enjoy themselves.
I'm thankful that we didn't have to deal with anyone else asking us if they could bring kids. We did however have 2 uninvited guests show up 
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:41 PM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
We had no problem with OOTers bringing their child(ren) to the wedding. We preferred them to be there, than not. Local people can get a babysitter they know and trust, OOTers cannot.
I sent invitations to local people as Mr and Mrs.
OOTer were sent invitations to the family.
We had a table set up for all the kids (including however many nieces and nephews I had at the time) with coloring books, and games.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:46 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by CouponMom
I think it's just because kids can rowdy and not fully enjoy the meaning of a wedding reception. I had mine as adult-only so all the adults could enjoy the reception and not worry about kids running around. IMO it's a very expensive occassion to have ruined by uncontrolled kids (and I would be the FIRST to voluntarily leave my uncontrollable kids home too  )
Absolutely!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:47 PM |
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photoshopbabe
wow....
Member since 5/07 2197 total posts
Name:
linda
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
i had an adults only reception and clearly WROTE on my invite-ADULT ONLY RECEPTION...and yes, there was a few still who asked if they could bring their kids.
there was so much back n forth BS-that i agreed to let DH's neices come-they were in the bridal party and i WANTED Them there-but they left really early
& my husbands first cousins-which were 8, 12 & 5 at the time..they were extremly well behaved and they left early also.
i gave into the cousins thing-bc i also had once cousin -my only first cousin-who was 12 also.
i do NOT think kids belong at a wdding. when i was younger, i was not invited to ANY party at all either...
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:59 PM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
We grew up with kids going to family events (weddings included) - like someone said, it may have been a non-American thing (my mom is from Germany).
I had children - 10 - 5 being nephews and nieces and 5 being my first cousin's kids (those were just the ones who were under 18) I enjoyed it
but I have never brought my kids to a wedding. usually MIL was able to watch. Most weddings I assume are adult. one of my cousins' son is getting married this summer - he likes my DS, so it should be interesting to see if he's invited, but i doubt it.
One OOT wedding we attended (DH's friend) I tried to get my mom to fly down (she is afraid of flying and wouldn't do it), so I stayed in the hotel with my son and another couple's son (both in the couple went to HS with the groom, so I felt I should be the one to stay).
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| Posted 1/21/10 3:05 PM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
OOFTA! I wasn't expecting all these answers. Thanks for your opinions!
It was just an innocent question. Obviously I lead a sheltered life. But I don't park in the expectant moms parking, so what do I know about life?
Just to reiterate: I am not bringing my kid to the wedding, nor are my siblings bringing their kids to the wedding. I will never cross a bride and groom's wishes. I was just trying to figure out the reasons because weddings were always a FAMILY event growing up, so I never dealt with this type of reception before. Now that I have two this year, it just made me curious. That's all.
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| Posted 1/21/10 3:40 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by imthecindyofcindyandkevin
We're in the minority here, we had quite a few kids at our wedding. It was formal and I think they were all well behaved. We just couldn't imagine the day without them, it was a family celebration and we wanted to include everyone. I understand and would never judge someone for having an adult-only reception, it just wasn't for us!
Bro and SIL got married about 2 years ago. A lot of people brought DC. Everyone had such a good time! The kids were all behaved, everyone was walking around, talking, and making noise anyway, so nobody would have noticed even if there WAS extra noise from DC.
I'm not saying people can't have adult-only parties, but personally, I like having the whole family there, since I consider it a whole family event (what's more "family" than two families becoming one?  )
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| Posted 1/21/10 3:57 PM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
I'm a wedding planner, and based on the weddings I've done, I am a firm believer in an ADULT only reception. It's okay to bring children to the ceremony/church (if they behave and are old enough to understand what's going on) - but not for the reception.
Yes, there are some VERY well behaved children that I've seen, but I have seen children RUN around the venue with danger of being injured, breaking things, etc...and the parents just sit there and smile instead of keeping their child by their side.
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| Posted 1/21/10 4:03 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
Name:
aka momma2b
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
we had an adults only wedding. we were paying for it ourselves and had to cut somewhere.
granted, our cousins that have children are ages where they can stay home by themselves for a few hours on a sunday afternoon, so it was no big deal
at that point, none of our friends had children
also, everyone was local so traveling and leaving kids alone was not an issue.
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| Posted 1/21/10 4:04 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by MrsMerlot
I'm a wedding planner, and based on the weddings I've done, I am a firm believer in an ADULT only reception. It's okay to bring children to the ceremony/church (if they behave and are old enough to understand what's going on) - but not for the reception.
Yes, there are some VERY well behaved children that I've seen, but I have seen children RUN around the venue with danger of being injured, breaking things, etc...and the parents just sit there and smile instead of keeping their child by their side.
I have seen the same thing at restaurants. Believe me, I am a parent and know kids can not sit still that long but if you plan to go out to dinner or bring them to a wedding, you NEED to be on top of them the entire time. If you want to have a relaxing evening out to dinner or whatever, then you need to leave the kids at home.
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| Posted 1/21/10 4:08 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by CouponMom
I think it's just because kids can rowdy and not fully enjoy the meaning of a wedding reception. I had mine as adult-only so all the adults could enjoy the reception and not worry about kids running around. IMO it's a very expensive occassion to have ruined by uncontrolled kids (and I would be the FIRST to voluntarily leave my uncontrollable kids home too )
I agree with this!
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| Posted 1/21/10 8:56 PM |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Most weddings that I know of are adults only. I personally did not attend a wedding until I was 17 years old.
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| Posted 1/21/10 9:21 PM |
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KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
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Re: Adult only wedding receptions- can we please discuss? (One more question added)
Posted by CouponMom
I think it's just because kids can rowdy and not fully enjoy the meaning of a wedding reception. I had mine as adult-only so all the adults could enjoy the reception and not worry about kids running around. IMO it's a very expensive occassion to have ruined by uncontrolled kids (and I would be the FIRST to voluntarily leave my uncontrollable kids home too )
agree. this is why I didn't want children at my wedding.
I have around 20 little cousins...I didn't want 20 kids at my wedding nor could I afford to pay for them all..so I opted to have an adults only reception. As far as I see it, weddings are adult events anyway--you wouldn't have kids at a black tie cocktail party would you??
Also, I had no fam from out of town with children. Is it possible that they could recommend a sitter for you??? (for your siblings)
Message edited 1/21/2010 9:30:37 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/10 9:28 PM |
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