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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
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Annoying family issue...WWYD
My brother is engaged to this woman who I adore. She has a DD from a previous marriage. The kid is straight up demonic. She is bossy, sneaky, manipulative and has a real evil streak. She also does some really weird things.
Family and friends complain of her inappropriate behavior all the time. She has 1 friend. That's it. She is never invited to bday parties. She is constantly having issues at school.
My brother's FW sees her daughter as unique with a creative spirit. My brother is proud that she is not "some cookie cutter princess loving type". Right. Fine. But she is just not a nice kid.
There have been a few instances where there was an issue that was confronted and while they addressed it, they ended up being annoyed and very defensive. Because of all the complaining that is done about her between their personal lives and at school, they have now adopted this attitude that she is being targeted for her uniqueness. They think everyone else is the problem because we are all sheep. They don't recognize the manipulation and bad behavior. They don't see that she is excluded from play dates because she is inappropriate...they see it as she won't bend to social norms so she is ostracized.
We had another incident this weekend and I really don't want my kids around her anymore. My problem is that I am close with my brother and my sons adore him. I don't want to jeopardize that relationship. But if I say something to my brother, he will be offended. I feel like my options are to upset my brother or limit his relationship with my sons, neither of which are very palatable.
Has anyone else been in this situation where you didn't like the child of someone you are close to? How did you handle it?
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Posted 12/17/19 2:21 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Annoying family issue...WWYD
How old is she and how long ago did her parents split up? I assume from their attitudes she’s not in any sort of counseling/therapy.
I’m not sure if you’re being vague on purpose for privacy, but do you have a few examples of specific incidents? Is she being inappropriate like she might’ve been abused? Or stealing for attention?
Message edited 12/17/2019 2:58:39 PM.
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| Posted 12/17/19 2:55 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Annoying family issue...WWYD
Unless she’s abusive toward your kids I’m not sure you can do much. Hopefully it just a phase. DH’s nephews are little sh!ts and DD just stays away from them. Though, we don’t see them very often because their parents are also sh!ts so it’s not too hard. Can they avoid her or is she in their faces? How old is she?
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| Posted 12/17/19 3:28 PM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
How old is she? We have a cousin like this. She is 9 (1 year older than my twins). She does really mean things sometimes. Her parents are divorced and her mom is typically not watching her and when we mention it, she blows it off.
For example, she tripped one of my kids on purpose a couple weeks ago. I was super pissed because he wears glasses and they flew and almost broke. She thought it was hysterical. Not to mention he was upset about it. When I mentioned to her, we don't trip people, they can get hurt, she said I don't care, it's so funny. I almost punched her.
I think a lot of it has to do with she is an only child and I think is craving attention so deep down I actually feel bad but she is going to be a devil in a couple years if they don't nip this in the bud.
Her mom is well aware as her daughter is no longer allowed to sleep over after a frightening incident involving pushing one of my twins off the top of his bunk bed. She claims it was an accident. Both of my kids said it wasn't. I was downstairs. How he didn't break anything is a miracle.
My point is I feel your pain. We just limit interaction but mine is more for the safety of my kids before one of them winds up in the hospital because of her. 
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| Posted 12/17/19 4:00 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Bad influences can come from the most angelic kids. My son got into big trouble in school after spending the holidays with his older cousin who was pretending to shoot everything. My kid (younger) couldn’t tell that certain things are NOT Ok in school. Not funny when he was pretending to shoot people.
My point: just keep talking to your children and show them what’s right and wrong. That’s up to you. They will meet bad kids and good kids who do bad things out there. At least this you can monitor and talk about. Unless they are getting hurt.
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| Posted 12/17/19 4:12 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by Dolphinsbaby
How old is she? We have a cousin like this. She is 9 (1 year older than my twins). She does really mean things sometimes. Her parents are divorced and her mom is typically not watching her and when we mention it, she blows it off.
For example, she tripped one of my kids on purpose a couple weeks ago. I was super pissed because he wears glasses and they flew and almost broke. She thought it was hysterical. Not to mention he was upset about it. When I mentioned to her, we don't trip people, they can get hurt, she said I don't care, it's so funny. I almost punched her.
I think a lot of it has to do with she is an only child and I think is craving attention so deep down I actually feel bad but she is going to be a devil in a couple years if they don't nip this in the bud.
Her mom is well aware as her daughter is no longer allowed to sleep over after a frightening incident involving pushing one of my twins off the top of his bunk bed. She claims it was an accident. Both of my kids said it wasn't. I was downstairs. How he didn't break anything is a miracle.
My point is I feel your pain. We just limit interaction but mine is more for the safety of my kids before one of them winds up in the hospital because of her.
I'm wondering if this is the same kid. LOL She is also 9. Also an only child. Her dad died when she was a baby so her mom has really made efforts to compensate for the lack of a parent and she has gone to grief counseling. She is also in counseling at school.
BUT, from her mom constantly talking about her dad's death, the kid is obsessed with death and horror. For example...she taught my son to do Bloody Mary (when they were 5!) and he wouldn't look in the mirror for a good month. She recently taught him about Slenderman and he was terrified for weeks. I have explained to her on several occasions that he is scared of that and not as mature as she is and to please refrain from the horror movie stuff. NOPE! Showed him videos of The Shining and IT. This summer she almost drowned my son in our pool. They were "playing the drowning game." WTF. The look on my DH's face when he saw what was going on and the speed in which he dove into my pool to get my son was alarming. And she had this sick look on her face. She also has about 30 lbs on my son so she can easily overtake him. Her mother immediately addressed it but then later made excuses for it. "They are just kids" "kids are kids" and that kind of crap. They make me feel like I am the helicopter mom being over bearing but she is whacked! IDK if she says that because she believes that or if she wants to make herself feel better because she secretly knows her DD is nuts.
And it's not just me. My parents and some family members have pulled me aside at events and have told me things she did, that I need to keep an eye on her with my kids, etc. There's the dangerous stuff and then there's the annoying stuff she does. For example, we went to the beach one day and when nobody was looking she ate 2 packages of rolls so there were no rolls for the hot dogs and hamburgers. She will strip my toddler naked and have him streak through a party. It's sort of funny but who thinks to do that? It's weird!
I don't really know what her deal is. She has never been abused or anything like that. She is very well loved. As much as her mom makes excuses for her behavior, in many ways she is a good mom and is very protective of her.
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| Posted 12/18/19 12:46 PM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
It sounds like she has impulse control issues. I’d probably limit my time with the kids or watch them like a hawk. It may get better over time or if they sought professional help.
The eating of rolls is weird. That’s a lot of rolls. It also sounds like she’s acting to get attention.
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| Posted 12/18/19 6:06 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Annoying family issue...WWYD
Idk...she’s only 9 and had a tough life. I think she is just totally desperate for attention.
I know you like her mom but clearly nobody is watching her or paying attention to what she’s doing. Who is allowing her access to horror movies or telling her about Slenderman? Who takes a 9yo to the beach and ignores them for long enough that she can consume 16 rolls??
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| Posted 12/18/19 7:19 AM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by Dolphinsbaby
How old is she? We have a cousin like this. She is 9 (1 year older than my twins). She does really mean things sometimes. Her parents are divorced and her mom is typically not watching her and when we mention it, she blows it off.
For example, she tripped one of my kids on purpose a couple weeks ago. I was super pissed because he wears glasses and they flew and almost broke. She thought it was hysterical. Not to mention he was upset about it. When I mentioned to her, we don't trip people, they can get hurt, she said I don't care, it's so funny. I almost punched her.
I think a lot of it has to do with she is an only child and I think is craving attention so deep down I actually feel bad but she is going to be a devil in a couple years if they don't nip this in the bud.
Her mom is well aware as her daughter is no longer allowed to sleep over after a frightening incident involving pushing one of my twins off the top of his bunk bed. She claims it was an accident. Both of my kids said it wasn't. I was downstairs. How he didn't break anything is a miracle.
My point is I feel your pain. We just limit interaction but mine is more for the safety of my kids before one of them winds up in the hospital because of her.
I'm wondering if this is the same kid. LOL She is also 9. Also an only child. Her dad died when she was a baby so her mom has really made efforts to compensate for the lack of a parent and she has gone to grief counseling. She is also in counseling at school.
BUT, from her mom constantly talking about her dad's death, the kid is obsessed with death and horror. For example...she taught my son to do Bloody Mary (when they were 5!) and he wouldn't look in the mirror for a good month. She recently taught him about Slenderman and he was terrified for weeks. I have explained to her on several occasions that he is scared of that and not as mature as she is and to please refrain from the horror movie stuff. NOPE! Showed him videos of The Shining and IT. This summer she almost drowned my son in our pool. They were "playing the drowning game." WTF. The look on my DH's face when he saw what was going on and the speed in which he dove into my pool to get my son was alarming. And she had this sick look on her face. She also has about 30 lbs on my son so she can easily overtake him. Her mother immediately addressed it but then later made excuses for it. "They are just kids" "kids are kids" and that kind of crap. They make me feel like I am the helicopter mom being over bearing but she is whacked! IDK if she says that because she believes that or if she wants to make herself feel better because she secretly knows her DD is nuts.
And it's not just me. My parents and some family members have pulled me aside at events and have told me things she did, that I need to keep an eye on her with my kids, etc. There's the dangerous stuff and then there's the annoying stuff she does. For example, we went to the beach one day and when nobody was looking she ate 2 packages of rolls so there were no rolls for the hot dogs and hamburgers. She will strip my toddler naked and have him streak through a party. It's sort of funny but who thinks to do that? It's weird!
I don't really know what her deal is. She has never been abused or anything like that. She is very well loved. As much as her mom makes excuses for her behavior, in many ways she is a good mom and is very protective of her.
None of this is OK to me... esp the stripping your toddler naked part. I honestly think that you are making excuses for her mom just as much as her mom is making excuses for her which I understand because it's your brother fiance and you really like her.
The behavior you described is not unique, it's crazy, inappropriate and dangerous.I would limit my kids interaction with this child 100%, family or not.
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| Posted 12/18/19 9:08 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Annoying family issue...WWYD
Would it be difficult to socially interact but keep your kids away from her? I know it wouldn't be fun for you to constantly watch them, but at least you would still get to see your brother and future-SIL. But, if it were me, there's no way I could ever leave that girl alone with my children.
I have a friend who's twin 7 yo boys are just awful. I used to hang out with them semi-regularly last summer and my son tolerated them for the most part, but when one of them slapped my son's face and made his glasses fly off, which then caused my son to kick the kid to get him away from him, I stopped hanging out with them as much (I think I've only seen them twice in the past year). But - for you, that's family, and it's harder to distance yourself. But you definitely need to do what you can to protect your children! And if your brother asks why they don't see you as often, try to be honest, without emotion (grey rock!) and suggest adult only interactions.
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| Posted 12/18/19 9:56 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
After what you described, there is no way I would let her be around my kid. Or, if she is - I wouldn't leave their sides.
WTF?? And she is 9. Why is her mom letting her watch IT or The Shining?
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| Posted 12/18/19 10:04 AM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by KGools
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by Dolphinsbaby
How old is she? We have a cousin like this. She is 9 (1 year older than my twins). She does really mean things sometimes. Her parents are divorced and her mom is typically not watching her and when we mention it, she blows it off.
For example, she tripped one of my kids on purpose a couple weeks ago. I was super pissed because he wears glasses and they flew and almost broke. She thought it was hysterical. Not to mention he was upset about it. When I mentioned to her, we don't trip people, they can get hurt, she said I don't care, it's so funny. I almost punched her.
I think a lot of it has to do with she is an only child and I think is craving attention so deep down I actually feel bad but she is going to be a devil in a couple years if they don't nip this in the bud.
Her mom is well aware as her daughter is no longer allowed to sleep over after a frightening incident involving pushing one of my twins off the top of his bunk bed. She claims it was an accident. Both of my kids said it wasn't. I was downstairs. How he didn't break anything is a miracle.
My point is I feel your pain. We just limit interaction but mine is more for the safety of my kids before one of them winds up in the hospital because of her.
I'm wondering if this is the same kid. LOL She is also 9. Also an only child. Her dad died when she was a baby so her mom has really made efforts to compensate for the lack of a parent and she has gone to grief counseling. She is also in counseling at school.
BUT, from her mom constantly talking about her dad's death, the kid is obsessed with death and horror. For example...she taught my son to do Bloody Mary (when they were 5!) and he wouldn't look in the mirror for a good month. She recently taught him about Slenderman and he was terrified for weeks. I have explained to her on several occasions that he is scared of that and not as mature as she is and to please refrain from the horror movie stuff. NOPE! Showed him videos of The Shining and IT. This summer she almost drowned my son in our pool. They were "playing the drowning game." WTF. The look on my DH's face when he saw what was going on and the speed in which he dove into my pool to get my son was alarming. And she had this sick look on her face. She also has about 30 lbs on my son so she can easily overtake him. Her mother immediately addressed it but then later made excuses for it. "They are just kids" "kids are kids" and that kind of crap. They make me feel like I am the helicopter mom being over bearing but she is whacked! IDK if she says that because she believes that or if she wants to make herself feel better because she secretly knows her DD is nuts.
And it's not just me. My parents and some family members have pulled me aside at events and have told me things she did, that I need to keep an eye on her with my kids, etc. There's the dangerous stuff and then there's the annoying stuff she does. For example, we went to the beach one day and when nobody was looking she ate 2 packages of rolls so there were no rolls for the hot dogs and hamburgers. She will strip my toddler naked and have him streak through a party. It's sort of funny but who thinks to do that? It's weird!
I don't really know what her deal is. She has never been abused or anything like that. She is very well loved. As much as her mom makes excuses for her behavior, in many ways she is a good mom and is very protective of her.
None of this is OK to me... esp the stripping your toddler naked part. I honestly think that you are making excuses for her mom just as much as her mom is making excuses for her which I understand because it's your brother fiance and you really like her.
The behavior you described is not unique, it's crazy, inappropriate and dangerous.I would limit my kids interaction with this child 100%, family or not.
Agree and I would urge that her parents take her to see a therapist/psychologist/social worker... everything you have described about her just screams that she needs psychological counseling.
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| Posted 12/18/19 10:06 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
This child sounds like a psychopath.
It's more than just behavioral and attention seeking.
She gets pleasure out of inflicting pain and suffering.
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| Posted 12/18/19 10:16 AM |
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Ellsey10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/15 614 total posts
Name:
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Annoying family issue...WWYD
How do you think your brother would react if your parents mentioned to him how his future step daughter acts? Do you still think he would get as offended? It's a really hard spot to be in but if she's tried to drown one of your sons, I would never leave her alone with the kids again.
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| Posted 12/18/19 10:18 AM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by SusiBee
This child sounds like a psychopath.
It's more than just behavioral and attention seeking.
She gets pleasure out of inflicting pain and suffering.
I agree with this. I would not allow my children to be with this child unsupervised. I understand your conflict because you and your brother are close and they are close to your kids but you have to protect your kids. I would also be VERY concerned that if your brother and his FW have a child, this little girl is going to harm that baby.
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| Posted 12/18/19 10:51 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Let me just tell you something. If this psychopath ever tried to drown my child in a pool that would be the last time that child was ever around mine.
I don't give a fuq who she was, who I offended, how great and sweet her mom was, how close I was to my brother.
It would have taken all my strength not to beat the ever loving piss out of this kid. I'm not even kidding.
This kid needs help or she's going to end up on the news.
And if they don't want to address it fine, but they would never be welcome in my home or around my child again. Take your devil's spawn elsewhere.
This seriously sounds like a Lifetime movie.
I'm actually seeing red just thinking about it.
It's a pool. It's water. Does anyone have ANY idea how dangerous that is? What if your DH wasn't paying attention at that moment? My anxiety is through the roof just thinking about it.
I'm floored by this.
Your kids need to come first. Regardless of who you offend.
Message edited 12/18/2019 10:58:45 AM.
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| Posted 12/18/19 10:56 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by nraboni
Posted by SusiBee
This child sounds like a psychopath.
It's more than just behavioral and attention seeking.
She gets pleasure out of inflicting pain and suffering.
I agree with this. I would not allow my children to be with this child unsupervised. I understand your conflict because you and your brother are close and they are close to your kids but you have to protect your kids. I would also be VERY concerned that if your brother and his FW have a child, this little girl is going to harm that baby.
I think about that all the time. They recently adopted a dog and it made my stomach turn. I'm waiting to hear about the dog being strung up somewhere or something.
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| Posted 12/18/19 11:50 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by StaceyWill
After what you described, there is no way I would let her be around my kid. Or, if she is - I wouldn't leave their sides.
WTF?? And she is 9. Why is her mom letting her watch IT or The Shining?
Because she can handle it, she has fun with it and horror is just a different type of story telling that can be fun. (Not my words. What I was told when I had the same WTF is wrong with you two response to that). I should have mentioned that her mom works in the entertainment industry and theater so she sees nothing wrong with the interest in dramatics. That's where the "creative spirit" theory comes from.
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| Posted 12/18/19 11:53 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by NervousNell
Let me just tell you something. If this psychopath ever tried to drown my child in a pool that would be the last time that child was ever around mine.
I don't give a fuq who she was, who I offended, how great and sweet her mom was, how close I was to my brother.
It would have taken all my strength not to beat the ever loving piss out of this kid. I'm not even kidding.
This kid needs help or she's going to end up on the news.
And if they don't want to address it fine, but they would never be welcome in my home or around my child again. Take your devil's spawn elsewhere.
This seriously sounds like a Lifetime movie.
I'm actually seeing red just thinking about it.
It's a pool. It's water. Does anyone have ANY idea how dangerous that is? What if your DH wasn't paying attention at that moment? My anxiety is through the roof just thinking about it.
I'm floored by this.
Your kids need to come first. Regardless of who you offend.
This incident caused a major problem. I down played it for this post. It was a party so a lot of family saw and were horrified. My DH is the calmest person and he literally dove into the pool, ripped her off of my son and physically threw her out of the pool. The whole thing was so disturbing. My brother and FW were obviously upset with her and they ended up leaving right afterwards. I had an extensive discussion with my brother the next day and he was definitely hearing me.
But this is what happens...every damn time...the kid is super smart. Probably genius level. After she gets caught doing something, she always spins some tale that explains why she was doing what she was doing in such a way that they end up believing she was just being a kid playing. And she always throws it back on my son too, saying he was participating. Which he usually is AFTER her influence. I don't know if they actually believe her or if they are so relieved there is some sort of explanation that they go with it.
My prediction is she is either going to be a serial killer, a spin doctor, a lawyer or a horror movie producer (in that order).
You are all pretty much validating exactly how I feel. It just sucks that I'm in this situation because it's my brother and he loves my kids. He never misses anything for them. He goes to all their games, concerts, pageants, you name it. He was even a special reader for my one son. He always plans super fun things for my kids to do with him but of course Wednesday Adams always has to be there. My DH feels like we can't say no but we always have to ensure one of us are there.
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| Posted 12/18/19 12:18 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by NervousNell
Let me just tell you something. If this psychopath ever tried to drown my child in a pool that would be the last time that child was ever around mine.
I don't give a fuq who she was, who I offended, how great and sweet her mom was, how close I was to my brother.
It would have taken all my strength not to beat the ever loving piss out of this kid. I'm not even kidding.
This kid needs help or she's going to end up on the news.
And if they don't want to address it fine, but they would never be welcome in my home or around my child again. Take your devil's spawn elsewhere.
This seriously sounds like a Lifetime movie.
I'm actually seeing red just thinking about it.
It's a pool. It's water. Does anyone have ANY idea how dangerous that is? What if your DH wasn't paying attention at that moment? My anxiety is through the roof just thinking about it.
I'm floored by this.
Your kids need to come first. Regardless of who you offend.
This incident caused a major problem. I down played it for this post. It was a party so a lot of family saw and were horrified. My DH is the calmest person and he literally dove into the pool, ripped her off of my son and physically threw her out of the pool. The whole thing was so disturbing. My brother and FW were obviously upset with her and they ended up leaving right afterwards. I had an extensive discussion with my brother the next day and he was definitely hearing me.
But this is what happens...every damn time...the kid is super smart. Probably genius level. After she gets caught doing something, she always spins some tale that explains why she was doing what she was doing in such a way that they end up believing she was just being a kid playing. And she always throws it back on my son too, saying he was participating. Which he usually is AFTER her influence. I don't know if they actually believe her or if they are so relieved there is some sort of explanation that they go with it.
My prediction is she is either going to be a serial killer, a spin doctor, a lawyer or a horror movie producer (in that order).
You are all pretty much validating exactly how I feel. It just sucks that I'm in this situation because it's my brother and he loves my kids. He never misses anything for them. He goes to all their games, concerts, pageants, you name it. He was even a special reader for my one son. He always plans super fun things for my kids to do with him but of course Wednesday Adams always has to be there. My DH feels like we can't say no but we always have to ensure one of us are there.
Yes and especially around water of any kind.
This is just so so sad and scary.
I really wish the mom would get her head out of the clouds and realize that her child has a really serious problem and get her some help before it's too late.
She's only 9- imagine what will she be like as a teenager if this isn't addressed?
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| Posted 12/18/19 12:48 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
You need a come to jesus discuss with your brother. He needs to understand that this child has serious psychological issues. There is no such thing as a drowning game. The child sounds manipulative and destructive. I would tell him in no uncertain terms, that this child needs therapy and you have to protect your children. I am sorry, as a parent it is my job to protect my kids and if it means no longer seeing the uncle because of this child then so be it. There is no way I would be okay with this. Now I need to know is your younger child being negativity influenced by this girl?
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| Posted 12/18/19 2:27 PM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
I'm curious, what does your brother think about his future step-daughter ?
Does he think she has issues ? Does he think that the mom is just ignoring the issues or is totally oblivious to the psychopath her daughter is ?
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| Posted 12/18/19 3:32 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by SusiBee
I'm curious, what does your brother think about his future step-daughter ?
Does he think she has issues ? Does he think that the mom is just ignoring the issues or is totally oblivious to the psychopath her daughter is ?
I am curious about this too. Does your brother get along with the girl?
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| Posted 12/18/19 3:35 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by SusiBee
I'm curious, what does your brother think about his future step-daughter ?
Does he think she has issues ? Does he think that the mom is just ignoring the issues or is totally oblivious to the psychopath her daughter is ?
I am curious about this too. Does your brother get along with the girl?
Yes curious too.
I don't think I'd marry someone with a kid like that to be honest. I don't care how much I loved them.
I would fear she'd kill us in our sleep one night or set the house on fire.
It happens.
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| Posted 12/18/19 3:56 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Annoying family issue...WWYD
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by SusiBee
I'm curious, what does your brother think about his future step-daughter ?
Does he think she has issues ? Does he think that the mom is just ignoring the issues or is totally oblivious to the psychopath her daughter is ?
I am curious about this too. Does your brother get along with the girl?
Yes curious too.
I don't think I'd marry someone with a kid like that to be honest. I don't care how much I loved them.
I would fear she'd kill us in our sleep one night or set the house on fire.
It happens.
My mom and I were discussing this the other day. We don't know. I know that he knows she is not well liked. Not by us (We haven't actually come out and blatantly said that nobody likes the kid) but he knows she is generally disliked in their community. Also, she is a completely different kid when her mom is around. She is much more tolerable and better behaved when she isn't around. While my brother will immediately come down with a punishment of sorts, her mom is more of a "let's talk it out and discuss your feelings and why you did that" type, which is meaningless. My brother constantly marvels at what a better kid she is when the mom isn't around.
I know my brother gets very frustrated with his FW and her method of disciplining. It's not effective. I know that my brother sees some of the bizarre behavior but he really loves that little girl. He spends a lot of 1:1 time with her due to her mom's work and he says she's always well behaved with him. I can say that I had watched her one weekend when they went away and she was really great. No issues at all. But we don't know if he always sees the sneakiness and manipulation. And lately what he has been doing, which really pisses me off, is, if I tell him something I observed her doing, he also points out stuff my son is doing. My son is not perfect by any means but my son wouldn't be doing what he is doing if it wasn't for her crap influence. Honestly, I think it's my brother's way of saying to himself "see? This is normal. He's doing it too."
At this point, we only tell them the things we see that are dangerous or extremely unusual. If we complained to them about all the stuff she does, that's all we would be talking about. We have also begun disciplining her ourselves.
To answer the question about whether she influences my son, yes, to an extent...stuff like the situation above. But my son also knows not to go along with her in many ways. Like my son isn't going to incorporate the drowning game into his repertoire in the pool.
I shouldn't have posted this because as I'm typing all of this, I'm getting even more aggravated with the situation. LOL
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| Posted 12/19/19 7:42 AM |
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